User:NinjaWookiee

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My name is NinjaWookiee... obviously...

I'm German and just love this fucking cardgame.

My Dvorak story

As kid me and a friend once made a yu-gi-oh-like cardgame ourselves by cutting out images of magazines and add abilities and stuff to it. We had a deck of over 100 cards and one day we through it away. Why? Because we were goddamn fucking idiot kids.

Since then we always wanted to make an own simple card game again, but we hate yu-gi-oh nowadays and didn't wanted to do something like that. Then one day I found Dvorak through pure luck by using StumpleUpon.com. I was actually blown away by the idea and the next weekend me and 2 friends started to make cards. First game was played with a deck out of 63 random cards mostly just based on things we like or inside jokes between us. As far as I remember it the first game alone was approximately 5 hours long!!! But it was worth it. 2 games later the deck is over 100 cards big. NO SHIT! We really thought about making a new separate deck but we decided "Fuck it! Let's just always make new cards and create one giant frustrating and time-consuming, but also entertaining deck. That's why we always make new cards if we have new ideas (And right now they come like flies on shit) and add the cards in between the games. We had 2 games, which just went for 1 hour or so. But all of the other were over 3, sometimes 5 hours long. It's hard, but it's fun.

We call Dvorak the coolest and most creative cardgame ever done but also the most upsetting and time-consuming game of all time. But that's probably just because of our cards. Anyways, we love Dvorak and our deck will expand forever.

Someday we wanna buy a golden briefcase and only we 3 now the code to open it. We will give everything to not loose any card and always keep it. If we're old we will get out the old selfmade cards and laugh our ass off at what bullshit we made as teenagers. And when we die, we will give it to our kids telling them to add new cards and so on.

Maybe I'm gonna put our deck in here, but that would be almost as time-consuming and upsetting as playing the game itself. There are already over 100 cards in our deck and we're already making new ones!

Our own dvorak deck

Our Infinite Deck
Designer NinjaWookiee, NinjaWarrior, Wolfblut
Date July 2011 - onward
Players 2+
Although this is an unfinished deck, it is still playable.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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This deck is locked. Further cards should not be added - leave feedback on the talk page.
Cards 1-100
Cards 101-200
Cards 201-300

Alright I'm gonna start dumping our dvorak deck. I hope I'm translating everything right (from German to English). If you don't understand some thing it's probably because it's based on inside jokes, but you can always ask if you're curious. Some of them are based on cards I found here on this wiki. I try to add the right creator to them. And the most important thing: DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!

The colors intend the colors of the text and pics on the cards. (Because we all used ballpens to make them they're alle black or blue.) This may get important later.

All questions you may have will be answered on my discussion/talk page.

Special Rules

1. A zombie/undead counts as T-Virus infected and as unholy.

2. T-Virus infected things can't be infected by the T-Virus again.

3. If there is ambiguity all players vote for what to happen.

4. "To steal a card" always means to look at a chosen players hand and take the called amount of cards of your choice.

5. If all cards in the deck are drawn so there is no draw pile anymore, shuffle the discard pile and make it the new draw pile.

6. If you listen to music while playing you may add any version of "Lugias Song" to the playlist. If "Lugias Song" is playing the first player that notices it may search the deck for "Lugia" and put it under his/her control into play. (Song Examples: LucaGirl94's Deep Remix and DJ The Fishead's Trance Remix)

7. "Shedinja" is never in the deck/draw pile. It needs to be reachable tho.

8. If you search the deck for a card for whatever reason, you are not allowed to take a card that allows you to search the deck for a card.

The Cards

There are 474 cards right now.

The earlier cards of our deck have been archived: 1-100, 101-200, 201-300, 301-400
Dagobert Duck
Thing
When this comes into play roll 5 6-sided dice. You get the rolled amount of money tokens.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Coupon
Action
You get 5 tokens of the type of your choice.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Shopping
Action
Sacrifice x things. You get x tokens of the type of your choice.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Tommy-Gun Replica
Thing
Action & Thing: Destroy 1 thing.
You can kill with it, but it's harder and takes more time than with a real one. At least this one can't get jammed.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Tokens everywhere
Action
You may play 1 card that mentions 'Tokens' for free.
If that card was black, you may play an additional copy of that card.
If that card was blue, you may draw cards equally to the amount of tokens you get with that card.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Power Up!
Action
Draw 3 cards.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Yodeling Shark
Thing
Action: 1 thing of your choice goes back to its owners hand.
Thing: Destroy 1 thing.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Scar
Thing
When this comes into play roll 2 6-sided dice. You get the rolled amount of hyena tokens.
When there are no things in play other than Scar and the hyena tokens at the end of your turn, you win the game.
Action & Sacrifice 3 hyena tokens: Destroy 1 living thing.
You may sacrifice 1 hyena token to prevent Scar from getting destroyed.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Mr. Riechorgan
Thing
Action: Destroy 1 thing and you get 1 Skull Token.
You may sacrifice 1 Skull Token at any time to prevent this card from getting destroyed.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Slash
Thing
Comes into play with 3 Guitar Tokens and 1 Tophat Token which is indestructible. As long as you control the Tophat Token, Slash is indestructible.
You may sacrifice 1 Guitar Token at any time to destroy 1 thing.
You may sacrifice 1 Tophat Token at any time to draw 3 cards and destroy 3 things.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Token Concourse
Action
If you control 20 or more tokens you win the game.
Card by NinjaWookiee
The Might of the Negros
Action
If you control 10 or more black things you win the game.
Card by NinjaWookiee
I feel blue
Action
If you control 10 or more blue things you win the game.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Hans Henning Holzhauer
Thing
You don't have to pay to play thing cards with H in its titler.
Action: Sacrifice 1 thing and destroy x things, where x is the amount of H in that things titler.
Card by NinjaWookiee
The Cab Driver That Doesn't Like Gummybears
Thing
You can play 1 additional action in your turn.
Action: Draw 2 cards.
Thing: You get 1 Gummybear Token. Only your opponents can play this ability. If you control at least 1 Gummybear Token this card looses all abilities except for this one.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Archaeopteryx
Thing
Action: Destroy 1 thing.
When this card gets destroyed, you may prevent it from happening. If you do, you can't use this cards action ability in your next turn.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Multiple Collision
Action
Destroy up to 5 mechanical/robotic things.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Atom Grenade
Action
When you play this card, throw it on the table. All things that are 10 cm away from this card or nearer get destroyed. All other things in play loose 1 randomly chosen action- or thing-ability until they leave play.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Piss off!
Reaction
Play as an answer to someone going to the bathroom. Destroy 1 of that players things OR steal 1 card from that player.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Pomegranate Treehouse
Thing - Location
Every player can place 1 thing card in his/her turn on this card. All things that are placed on this card are indestructible.
Action: Destroy 1 thing. Every player that placed at least 1 thing onto this card can use this ability.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Stingball Grenade
Thing
Sacrifice this: Throw 1 6sided die for every thing in play. If you roll a 6, destroy that thing. If you roll another number that things action- and thing-abilities can't be used for the next 3 rounds.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Santa Clause from "The Secret World of Santa Clause"
Thing
When this comes into play, every player that didn't destroy a thing in his/her last turn, draws a card.
Action: Use this cards "When this comes into play"-ability again.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Gruzzlebeard from "The Secret World of Santa Clause"
Thing
When this comes into play, every player that destroyed at least 1 thing in his/her last turn, draws a card.
Action: Use this cards "When this comes into play"-ability again.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Giant Pet Hornet
Thing
Your handcards are safe from your opponents cards. (I.E.: No one can steal from you, you don't need to discard cards if an opponents card tells you to, other players can't look at your hand and your handlimit isn't affected by opponents cards.)

Sacrifice this: Destroy 1 thing of your choice.
Card by NinjaWookiee
I'm gonna roll 1 to 6
Thing
At the beginning of your turn roll 6 6-sided dice and say this cards title out loud. If you roll every number from 1 to 6 you win the game.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Bob, the Cucumber
Thing
If you control "God" and this card you can destroy 1 thing in yor turn.
This card is indestructible as long as you control "God".
Unholy cards (Including zombie-making cards) can't be played.
Card by NinjaWarrior
The Mighty Wheelchair-Jack
Thing
Action: This round no player can win.
Every player can play the 2 following abilities: Action or Thing: The player gets "mighty" and this cards first ability doesn't affect "mighty" players.
Thing: 1 player of your choice isn't "mighty" anymore.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Advertisement
Action
Reveal up to 2 cards of your hand. In your next turn you have to play these cards (without paying for them) if possible.
[Insert good ad here] --I'm gonna buy that!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Planeswalker
Thing
Comes into play with 5 HP counters.
Add 2 HP counters: Destroy 1 thing.
Remove 4 HP counters: Take control over 1 thing.
Remove 10 HP counters: Destroy up to 7 things. It can't be prevented in any way and those things controller dicard all cards.
You can't loose. If this would be destroyed remove 1 HP counter instead. If there are no HP counter left, destroy this card. There can't be more than 12 HP counters on this card.
Watch out, that he doesn't become a player.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Jewish Genocide
Action
Destroy minority thing group, meaning: The smallest group of things, that have something in common. For example: All things, that can destroy things or all winning cards or all things without abilities and so on.
Card by NinjaWarrior
4 Times Amputated Policeman
Thing
You don't have to pay to play this.
If this gets destroyed, destroy 4 things of your choice.
Freeze! You´re under arrest!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Selfdestruct
Action
You have to control at least 1 thing to play this.
Destroy all of your things and 1 other thing of your choice.
Go, Weezing! Use selfdestruct!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Ambition
Thing
You have to win or you loose.
-If you don't win, my son, then...
-Then?
-You now what!
-No, I don't wanna get raped again!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Honor as a Hat
Action
1 player of your choice has to make a hat out of paper, right "honor" on it and wear it as long as this card is in play.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Restart
Reaction
Play as an answer to someone winning the game. The winning card gets restarted, meaning: All counterson it go back to their original number, cards that belong to the wining card get shuffled back into the deck and so on.
Who says, you can't see yourself die?
Card by NinjaWarrior
All In
Thing
If this thing is in play when someone wins the game, the loosers have to pay te winner 5 $.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Illuminuts
Thing
You´re enemies stand no chance.
Hmm... Sweat berries... Have you slept enough, underaged boy?
Card by NinjaWarrior
Toot Braunstein
Thing
If you are eating something unhealthy in your turn, you can play up to 2 additional actions and up to 2 additional things.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Victim!
Thing
If you sacrifice a thing, put 1 counter on this cardd. Are there 8 or more counters on this card you win the game. If a thing of yours gets destroyed remove all counters from this card.
Card by NinjaWarrior
The Show Must Go On!
Thing
The game can't be interupted by anything. If this card is in play while someone wins the game, you start a new game instead.
This counts especially for 'YOU, Wolfblut...
Card by NinjaWarrior
Afghanistan
Thing
Play this under control of an opponent of your choice.
You are your own enemy.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Hiding From Wolves Under Leafs in a Forest While Bleeding
Reaction
Play as an answer to someone destroying your thing. Instead lay all of your things onto the thing that would be destroyed. All things still count as in play, but only the card on the top can be affected by your opponents doing.
At the beginning of your turn put 1 of those things back on its original place. If there are no things
left on that thing, destroy it.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Harakiri
Reaction
You need to control at least 1 thing for playing this. Play as an answer to someone winning the game.
Sacrifice all your things and all winning cards are supposed to be blank until they leave play.
-HARAKIRI!
-Why?
-Dunno. I just feel like it.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Mass Orgy
Thing
Indestructible.
Pile all things, except for this one, together. Only the top card counts as in play.
Thing & Action: Change the top thing of the pile with another thing in the pile.
Other thing come into play like normal. Destroy this card when there are no cards left in that pile.
Oh Yeah!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Death to all Firstborn
Action
Destroy all things which came in play 3 or more round before the last thing came into play.
Everyone hates the firstborn.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Flashmob
Thing
If an opponent plays a thing you can play a thing as well without paying for it. The same counts for actions.
If you loose or win the game, all other players also looser or win the game.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Rusty Shit
Thing
Choose -- Your good: No things of yours can be destroyed, removed from the game or taken control over; OR your evil: Play this under an opponents control. That player can't play things.
-How can shit rust?
-Never ask that again!!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Ling Ling
Thing
gfhgbfhgjbztfbzhf▲gfcshtrhbrvr

▲bgfsvA°vfsvgfcgf¸fgcs`vfhvifrn ggnscnnlcfecl&¹→vfjiscknfusnf¡

85↔fhsnchf
That means something like: Thing: Destroy 1 thing. It can't be prevented.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Pokémon Everywhere
Action
Bring x tokens into play, where x is the number of Pokémon on Pokedex.de.
Hoot-Hoot, Hoot-Hoot, Hoot-Hoot, Hoot-Hoot, Hoot-Hoot, Hoot-Hoot, Hoot-Hoot, Hoot-Hoot!
A Hoot-Hoot invasion!!!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Dictator 1
Action
Search the deck, discard pile and opponents hands for "Risk 1" and play it.
Who eats kangaroomeat?
Card by NinjaWarrior
Risk 1
Thing
You control Australia. You win, when you control all contintents.
If you destroy 5 opponents things, you can take control over one Risk card of that player. For every continent you control you can play 1 additional thing or action.
Hmmm... Kangaroomeat.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Dictator 2
Action
Search the deck, discard pile and opponents hands for "Risk 2" and play it.
Under my control only the Jews get censored.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Risk 2
Thing
You control West Europe.You win, when you control all contintents.
If you destroy 5 opponents things, you can take control over one Risk card of that player. For every continent you control you can play 1 additional thing or action.
Fucking movie and game censoring...
Card by NinjaWarrior
Dictator 3
Action
Search the deck, discard pile and opponents hands for "Risk 3" and play it.
I eat dogs raw.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Risk 3
Thing
You control Asia. You win, when you control all contintents.
If you destroy 5 opponents things, you can take control over one Risk card of that player. For every continent you control you can play 1 additional thing or action.
Hmmmm... Dogmeat.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Dictator 4
Action
Search the deck, discard pile and opponents hands for "Risk 4" and play it.
Yes, we can!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Risk 4
Thing
You control North America. You win, when you control all contintents.
If you destroy 5 opponents things, you can take control over one Risk card of that player. For every continent you control you can play 1 additional thing or action.
Fucking porn censoring.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Dictator 5
Action
Search the deck, discard pile and opponents hands for "Risk 5" and play it.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Risk 5
Thing
You control South America. You win, when you control all contintents.
If you destroy 5 opponents things, you can take control over one Risk card of that player. For every continent you control you can play 1 additional thing or action.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Dictator 6
Action
Search the deck, discard pile and opponents hands for "Risk 6" and play it.
AIDS? I don't care.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Risk 6
Thing
You control Africa. You win, when you control all contintents.
If you destroy 5 opponents things, you can take control over one Risk card of that player. For every continent you control you can play 1 additional thing or action.
Hmmmm... AIDS.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Dictator 7
Action
Search the deck, discard pile and opponents hands for "Risk 7" and play it.
Way better than Harakiri: Jihad!
Card by NinjaWarrior
Risk 7
Thing
You control East Europe. You win, when you control all contintents.
If you destroy 5 opponents things, you can take control over one Risk card of that player. For every continent you control you can play 1 additional thing or action.
Hmmmm... Martyr.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Missed
Reaction
Play as an answer to someone destroying something. Instead that thing gets indestructible.
Card by Wolfblut
Refund
Thing
Everytime a thing gets destroyed, that things controller gets 1 "25 cent token".
Card by Wolfblut
88 mm Gun
Thing
Thing: Destroy 1 thing.
Action: Destroy 1 thing.
Action & Thing: Create 1 ammunition box token with the ability: "Sacrifice this: Destroy 1 thing."
Card by Wolfblut
Bouncy Ball
Thing
If this would be destroyed it changes its controller randomly instead.
Card by Wolfblut
Neural Interface
Thing
1 player of your choice reveals his hand at all time.
Card by Wolfblut
Kamikaze Cheese Aviator
Action
Destroy exactly 3 things.
Card by Wolfblut
Blinding
Action
1 thing of your choice is considered blank until it leaves play.
Card by NinjaWookiee
Ant Lion
Thing
When this comes into play, choose which ability it shall get: Every 3rd thing that comes into play, gets destroyed OR Destroy 1 token of you choice at the beginning of your turn.
Card by Wolfblut
Ahoge
Action
1 thing of your choice which has hair, becomes indestructible until it leaves play.
Card by Wolfblut
Morphing Slime
Thing
Thing & Action: Remove 1 chosen thing from the game. Morphing Slime gains the ability of that chosen thing. If you use this ability again the new gained ability overwrites the last one it gained, but Morphing Slime always keeps this ability.
Card by Wolfblut
The Tournament
Action/Thing
Choose 15 to 30 things from the deck and/or discard pile, which can destroy things. Distribute these cards by random to all the players. These cards count like the players hand without limits and you can play the cars for free. Players also can pay 1 thing to make another player play a thing of your choice.
The last player that controls 1 thing, wins the game.
There is a timelimit for all of this: x+5 rounds, where x is the number of chosen things. If there are more than 1 things left after the time is over, put them all on the discard pile.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Wesley Snpies with 3 Penises
Thing
When this comes into play, choose what this card becomes:
Blade with the abilites: "Indestructible. Thing: Take control over 1 zombie.
Action & Thing: Take control over 1 thing."
Simon Phoenix with the abilites:"Action: Destroy 1 randomly chosen thing except for this card. It can't be prevented.
Thing & Action: Destroy 1 thing.
Comes into play with 2 HP counters. If this would be destroyed, remove 1 HP counter instead."
John Cutter with the abilities: "Thing/Action: Prevent some thing from getting destroyed."
Thing & Action: Choose another form.
Card by NinjaWarrior
Mutation
Action
Choose 1 thing. At the beginning of your turn, put 1 Mutation counter on that thing. That thing gets the ability: "Action: Destroy x things, where x is the amount of Mutation counters on this card."
When there are 4 or more Mutation counters on that card, sacrifice it.
Card by NinjaWookiee