Infinite Dvorak deck

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The Infinite Dvorak Deck
Designer Everyone
Date March 2007 and onwards
Players 2+
Although this is an unfinished deck, it is still playable.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
Cards.gif Print this deck

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Cards.gif Generate Lackey export

Hammer and spanner.gif
This deck is under construction. Anyone is welcome to contribute - check the talk page to find out more.
Cards 1-100
Cards 101-200
Cards 201-300
Cards 301-400
Cards 401-500
Cards 501-600
Cards 601-700
Cards 701-800
Cards 801-900
Cards 901-1000
Cards 1001-1100

The Infinite Dvorak Deck is an ever-expanding card game, which anyone can add cards to. There's no coherent theme, and cards can be original, inspired by anything, copied from other Dvorak decks, or even dragged in verbatim from other card games.

The only rules to adding cards are:-

  • Don't add more than three cards at a time; give someone else a chance to add some, before you add any more. And make sure you put your cards at the bottom of the page.
  • Don't change other people's cards. If something seems ambiguous or broken, tell them on the talk page. (There's an option to filter specified users' cards out when you export the deck to play with, so don't worry too much if someone's cards are irredeemably unplayable.)
  • Cards shouldn't refer to other cards. Remember that the deck is infinite! Cards should avoid making any specific references to other cards or mechanics, because they might never see those specific cards during play, particularly if you think of the deck as infinite. You should word your mechanics as generically as possible - a fishing rod card that said "gain control of a fish" would be useless in a game where no fish cards came up, whereas one that said "gain control of a living Thing" would probably see some use in any game that it got drawn in.
(A good test is to open a random archive page of the Infinite Dvorak Deck, and see how many of its cards your new card could apply to. If there are only one or two cards that you could play it on, then you should probably word it more generically.)
  • No special rules. This deck has no Special Rules aside from the two described below; it's all on the cards. Cards should not create Special Rules (or any equivalent "invisible" effect that significantly outlives the lifetime of the card); players should only have to read the cards on the table to know what's going on.
  • Values in the corners of cards are meaningless, unless there's another card in play that somehow gives them meaning.

Whenever anyone's feeling insane enough to play a game of it, they can export it to the Dvorak Engine, or possibly Apprentice (if it's possible to make decks that contain every card of a set).

Special Rules

The only rules that this deck uses in addition to the basic Dvorak rules are:-

  • Tokens exist. Some cards can create or destroy or manipulate "tokens", which you should represent with whatever coins or counters you have to hand. Tokens count as Things, but if a token is destroyed or otherwise removed from play, it's removed from the game entirely. Tokens may or may not have individual types (such as "energy" or "goblin"); if a token has a type, it's considered to be its name, otherwise its name is just "Token".
  • If there's an ambiguity, vote on it. For example: if a card says to destroy a "living" Thing, and a player is wondering if it'll work against a "zombie" card, the players should take a vote to determine whether or not the zombie counts as living. If a majority decision can't be reached, resolve it randomly.

Selected Sets

If you'd prefer a more compact subset of the deck, you may appreciate one of the following:

Superpower set, Token set

Card List

The earlier cards of this deck have been archived: 1-100, 101-200, 201-300, 301-400, 401-500, 501-600, 601-700, 701-800, 801-900, 901-1000, 1001-1100.


"Things just happen, dammit!!!"
Thing
While this card is in play, no cards with the words "cosmos" or "universe" in them have any effect, and no-one can look through the deck for any reason.
Card by Depressi
"Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a ____!"
Action
Select any number of tokens under your control. Destroy them, and replace them with that many doctor tokens.
Sickbay on the NCC-1701. A place to avoid, if you have a red shirt.
Card by Kyevan
1-up
Action
Play this card when you would be eliminated. Destroy one hundred tokens or Things to stay in the game
Mario not-a die that easy!
Card by Kyevan
Mana Fount
Thing
For all non-victory purposes, all players are assumed to have an infinite amount of Mana Tokens.
Card by Depressi
Nixie
Thing-Uninteresting Person
Nixie may not be destroyed unless you have no other Things in play. Action: Have any two of your opponents switch hands. If you only have one opponent, draw a card instead.
Card by Depressi
[The Democracy Card]
Thing
This card's title, colour and text are decided by majority vote once it comes into play. Once this card has had its title, colour and text decided, it comes under the control of a random player.
Card by Corrigan
Under-Secretary's Second Assistant
Thing
Action: Look at the bottom card in the draw pile. If it is an Action, has a name that is fewer than 6 syllables and it is red, put it into your hand. Otherwise, shuffle the draw pile. You can only use this ability once every third turn of yours.
I don't even know what I do.
Card by Corrigan
Hypnosis
Action
A chosen opponent discards a card at random.
Card by Kevan
Furnace
Thing
Action: Remove all cards in the discard pile from the game.
Card by Kevan
Destroy Everything
Action
Remove all cards in play, in the discard pile, in the draw pile, in players hands, or in any other location from play. This card may only be played for this effect when it is February 29th, it is the last card in the players hand, and it is raining in Tokyo. In all other situations, this card reads: "Draw a card."
Card by Kyevan
Codpiece
Thing - Supervillain
Action: Fire crotch-based laser - Destroy a Thing.
Why, God, why did you let this exist!?
Card by Kyevan
The Orb
Thing
When The Orb would be destroyed by a Thing, destroy the Thing instead. When The Orb would be destroyed by an Action, ignore the Action. Your hand size is 3.
Action: Erase target Thing's Action ability.
Action: Draw 2 cards.
It is The Orb.
Card by Corrigan
Monastic Lessons
Thing
Draw a card at the end of each turn of yours where you did not speak.
"I'm glad to see we've moved on past the duct tape."
Card by Corrigan
Might Makes Right
Action
Arm-wrestle target player. The winner draws 3 cards.
Card by Corrigan
TFG: Transformation Gun
Thing
Action: Target living thing becomes male if female, and female if male or unknown.
"Quite disturbing, seeing one's son like that." -- Mr. Verres, El Goonish Shive, 2003-01-27
Card by Kyevan
Dewitchery Diamond
Thing
Action: Target living thing which has become altered in form is cloned, one clone having the altered form and the other reverting to normal.
"Put down the newspaper, dear." -- Mrs. Dunkle, El Goonish Shive, 2003-02-06
Card by Kyevan
Brick
Thing
This card represents a brick.
Card by Corrigan
Target Thing
Thing
Whenever the words 'target Thing' appear, it automatically applies to Target Thing.
Card by Corrigan
A Random Thing
Thing
Whenever a card's text includes the words 'a random Thing', it automatically applies to A Random Thing.
Card by Corrigan
The Element of Surprise
Thing
Action: Starting with you, each player draws a card and either plays it immediately or discards it.
Card by Kevan
Clearing the Air
Action
Starting with you, each player plays a card from their hand, if they have one, or discards a card. Repeat until every player's hand is empty.
Card by Kevan
Spiked Ceiling
Thing
As this comes into play, each player may discard any number of cards. If a player ever has five cards in their hand, they are immediately eliminated.
Card by Kevan
Counterproductivity
Thing
Whenever a player plays a card, they must also discard a card from their hand. Whenever a player would draw a card, they discard that many cards instead.
Card by Corrigan
What They Mean
Thing
All Money tokens have 'Action: Destroy X Money tokens and gain control of X÷2 Things'.
Card by Corrigan
Razorblade Candy
Action
Draw any number of cards and destroy twice that many Things you control.
Card by Corrigan
Full Steam Ahead
Thing
Action: Destroy five Things you control, to take another turn after this one.
Card by Kevan
Shadow Detachment
Action
Each player puts one Shadow token into play for every non-Token Thing they control.
Card by Kevan
Hell
Thing
When a card would go to the discard pile, you may instead remove it from the game.
Card by Kevan
Heaven
Thing
When a card would be removed from the game, you may instead send it to the discard pile. This can not negate the effects of Hell, nor can Hell negate these effects.
With apology to Kevan....
Card by Kyevan
Poison
Thing
You may give Poison to any Player when you play it.

At the start of your turn, put a counter on Poison.
If Poison ever has 6 or more counters on it, you lose.
Card by Bucky
The Mute Button
Thing
Action: Target player cannot speak until the beginning of your next turn.
You're really getting annoying.
Card by Corrigan
Guilt
Thing
Whenever a player destroys a Thing belonging to another player or causes another player to discard cards from their hand, they gain a Guilt token. Whenever a player has 4 Guilt tokens, they are eliminated from the game.
Action: Give control of a Thing you control to another player and destroy a Guilt token you control.
Card by Corrigan
Put All of Your Eggs in One Basket
Action
Draw X cards and skip your next X turns.
Card by Corrigan
Fake Ending
Thing
If a player would win the game, instead destroy this card and continue playing.
Card by Kevan
Facebook Viral
Action
Target opponent with a Facebook account must update their status to "is losing at Dvorak" and discard a card, or otherwise discard their hand.
Card by Kevan
Bonfire of the Vanities
Action
Each player secretly chooses a number of cards to discard. All players then discard that number of cards - if one player discarded more cards than all other players, they may draw three cards.
Card by Kevan
Zebra
Thing
If you control copies of this card, none of them can be destroyed. This card is white in addition to being black.
Card by Corrigan
Reality and Whatever
Thing
Things can only destroy Things that they would be capable of physically destroying in real life. Abstract Things cannot destroy tangible Things and vice-versa. All abstract Things are considered capable of destroying one another.
Card by Corrigan
AAAAAGH!
Action
Panic panic panic stress stress stress! Play all the cards in your hand! No time to draw for the next five turns! Aaagh! You have to screeeeam to do this!
Card by Corrigan
A Nice Cup of Tea
Action
Draw until you have five cards in your hand, and skip your next turn.
Card by Kevan
S5
Dude of Coral
Thing
Action: Change target Thing's text, colour and title to that of this card.
Card by Corrigan
Pity Party
Action
Each player draws a number of cards equal to the number of their relatives who died during the player's lifetime.
Card by Corrigan
Colourblind Society
Thing
No cards have any colour.
Card by Corrigan
Hyperload
Thing
At the start of each player's turn, that player must use every one of their Things' Action abilities. They all take effect simultaneously and do not count against any action frequency limits. (Ignore any Action abilities that cannot be legally used.)
Card by Bucky
5
Arbitrary renumbering
Thing
On all cards other than this one, replace all instances of "five" with "two" and all instances of '5' with '2'.
Card by Bucky
1L
Assassin's Dart
Action
Destroy target Thing which does not have another Thing played onto it, and has not been played onto another Thing.
Card by Bucky
Magic Mirror
Thing
Whenever an opponent plays an Action card, you may destroy Magic Mirror to play a copy of that Action.
Card by Kevan
Bean Machine
Thing
Whenever a card is added to any player's hand, it is added to the leftmost position. Only the rightmost card in a player's hand may be played. The order of cards in a hand may not be changed.
Card by Kevan
Glass Ceiling (Not Zaratustra's)
Thing
No player, under any circumstances, can control more than 20 Things, including this one. If a player controls 25 Things, they win. It is impossible to win otherwise.
Figure this one out!
Card by Corrigan
Patriotism
Thing
When this card comes into play, destroy all Things whose colour is not one of the colours of the flag of the country in which the game is taking place. No card may be played if its colour is not one of the colours on the flag of said country. This card's colour is the colour of your choice, given that the colour appears on the country's flag.
Card by Corrigan
Wall of Wooden Fists
Thing
Each token counts as half a Thing.
Why is this card called Wall of Wooden Fists?
Card by Corrigan
Work of Art
Thing
Play only if you control three Things. You may not play further Things. If a Thing you control leaves play, destroy this Thing. At the start of each of your turns, put an Artistic Value token into play. If you control five Artistic Value tokens, you win the game.
Card by Kevan
Packing Plant
Thing
If you control ten Crate tokens, you win the game. Action: Destroy a non-Token Thing you control and put a Crate token into play.
Card by Kevan
Zombie Attack
Action
Pick an opponent. Two random Things they control are destroyed.
Card by Kevan
L7
Pretend We're Dead
Reaction
Play at the end of any turn. Return each non-Token Thing that was destroyed this turn to play under your control.
Card by jtwe
T3h R4p7ur3
Action
Each player chooses a letter or number. Destroy each Thing whose title does not begin with one of the chosen letters or numbers.
Card by jtwe
Fake Out In Buenos Aires
Thing
At the start of your turn, choose a Thing with two or more words in its title and that does not have the word "Fake" in its title. Change one of the words in that card's title to "Fake".

If there are ten things in play with the word "Fake" in their titles, you win the game.
Card by jtwe
Archival Duty
Action
Play only if there are more than twenty Things in play. Destroy five Things.
Card by Kevan
Klansman
Thing
Action: Destroy target non-white Thing.
"Why do people hate me? I'm supposed to hate!"
Card by Corrigan
Attack of the Graveyard from Beyond the Grave!
Action
Destroy a number of Things equal to the number of cards in the discard pile.
Card by Corrigan
Moon Prism Crystal Cosmic Crisis Eternal Power Make Up!
Action
In the turn this is played you are not affected by any cards with MOON, CRYSTAL, COSMIC, CRISIS, ETERNAL and PRISM ithe their names.
Card by Newecreator
Do
Action
When this card is played, each player writes down a text for an Action (which cannot be related to victory) on a piece of paper without showing it to any other player. Then, randomly select a player. This card's text is considered to be the text that the random player wrote down, with the same player making any decisions it calls for.
Card by Corrigan
Change the Course of History
Action
Shuffle the draw pile. You can play this card during another player's turn, but if you do, you can't play an Action on your next turn.
Card by Corrigan
3G
Killer Glare
Thing
The effects of your cards always override the effects of all other players' cards.
"Don't make me glare at you."
Card by Corrigan
Berdina's Power
Action
In the turn this is played you will look to all your opponents hand and take all cards that are color green(of any shade) or cards with green in their names.
Card by Newecreator
Moon Kaleidoscopic Mirror Scepter
Thing
Action: Moon Healing Princess Spiral Rainbow Gorgeous Starlight Kiss!,Select an opponent and destroy all his/her controled things or destroy all your opponent's things with the card RAINBOW SAILORMOON .
Card by Newecreator
4B
Boost
Action
Draw two cards. You may take two extra Actions this turn.
Card by Bucky
Booming Echo
Action
Discard an Action card - you get to play two copies of it, and an opponent of your choice gets to play one copy of it.
Card by Kevan
Twist or Stick
Action
Draw and reveal a card. You may choose to repeat this any number of times, but if the revealed cards have a total of ten or more words in their titles, they must all be discarded and this card effect ends.
Card by Kevan
Strange Weather
Thing
Attach an Action card from your hand to this card. At the start of each player's turn, they must play a copy of that Action - it doesn't count toward their Action-per-turn limit.
Card by Kevan
Stop
Action
All of you opponents may not play any cards the next turn. Their Things in play still have effect.
Card by jtsang
Manga Attack!
Action
Discard a card when you play this. Destroy one target Thing, plus one more for every 2 words in the discarded card's title.
Card by Bucky
Shapeshifter
Thing
At the start of each of your turns, choose a living Thing in play. Until the start of your next turn, this is an exact copy of that Thing.
Card by Bucky
Eternal Cosmic Moon Power Bubble Rainbow Blast
Action
Destroy target Token.
Card by Bucky
Grave Robbing
Action
Choose a Thing from the discard pile and put it into play under your control.
Card by Kevan
The Big Push
Thing
Whenever an Action is played, the player playing it must destroy a Thing they control, otherwise the Action has no effect.
Card by Kevan
I1
Dvorak is Not For the Faint of Heart
Action
Shout 'BOO!' in target player's face. If they show surprise, they discard 2 cards.
Card by Corrigan
Meteorology Groove
Action
If it is sunny, play a card. If it is raining, draw a card. If it is windy, return a Thing to its owner's hand. If it is snowing, erase a Thing's text. If there is a thunderstorm, destroy a Thing. If it is hailing, destroy 2 Things. If it is cloudy, skip a player's next turn. If there is a rainbow, win the game.
Card by Corrigan
4P
Spork
Thing
When this card is played, pick 2 Things you control. This card's text is that of one of those Things plus the following sentence: Action: Replace this card's text, except for this sentence, with the text of the other selected Thing.
Card by Corrigan
Memory Metal
Thing
If the top card of the discard pile is a Thing, this card counts as a copy of it.
Card by Kevan
Automatic Warfare
Thing
Players skip their draw phases, and cannot play cards (but can play Action abilities). If a player has no cards with Action abilities, or if both players agree that the warfare is over, this card is destroyed.
Card by Kevan
Pickpocket
Action
Gain control of a token. If there are no tokens in play, gain control of a Thing.
Card by Kevan
Pac-Man Physics
Thing
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, control of it is given to the player on its controller's right; it is not put in the discard pile.
Waka waka waka waka waka.
Card by Corrigan
_________ Chaos!
Action
Give 3 copies (excluding the original) of target Thing to each player.
Card by Corrigan
Chance
Action
You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Put ten Money tokens into play.
Card by Kevan
Renewable Energy
Thing
When this comes into play, shuffle the discard pile into the draw pile. Action: Draw a card for every card in the discard pile, then shuffle the discard pile into the draw pile.
Card by Kevan
Pile 'Em High
Action
If a player has more tokens than any other player, they may draw three cards.
Card by Kevan
Mr. Xcitement
Thing
Whenever you play a card, except for the first card you play each turn, put a counter on Mr. Xcitement.

Remove a counter from Mr. Xcitement: Draw a card.
Awwwwwww yes!
Card by jtwe
1W
Balance
Action
Except the player who controls the fewest tokens, each player destroys tokens they control until all players control the same number of tokens as the player who controls the fewest. Players discard cards the same way, then destroy non-token Things they control the same way.
Card by jtwe
Card Tax
Thing
Whenever any player would draw a card, they must destroy a Token they control in order to draw it. (If they have no tokens, they cannot draw.) When there are no tokens in play, destroy this card.
Card by Kevan
Radiation Epicentre
Thing
When you play this, put five Biohazard tokens into play. While there are Biohazard tokens in play, Thing cards may not be played.
Card by Kevan
0T
Time Stop
Action
Discard a card, take another turn after this one, and return this card to your hand. You may not use the Action abilities of Things on that turn, or play any Actions other than this one.
Card by Bucky
10S
The End of 'Carded'
Thing
As soon as this card has been in play for 10 seconds, destroy all Things in play.
If you get the reference, good for you.
Card by Corrigan
1S
The Human Bullet
Thing
Action: Crumple The Human Bullet into a ball, throw it onto the table from at least 4 feet away, and destroy the first Thing it touches. You may only do this once.
"Fire me, boy!"
Card by Corrigan
Darkroom
Thing
While this card is in play, replace each card's colour its opposite colour.
This card's effect makes it red, so the darkroom reference works out in the end.
Card by Corrigan
Headcrab
Thing
Play onto any living Thing. You have control of it while Headcrab is in play.
Card by Kevan
Spelling Bee
Thing
If the first letter of each card in a player's hand can be rearranged to spell a five-letter word, they may reveal their hand to win the game.
Card by Kevan
Fear and Surprise
Action
Put a Thing from play on top of the draw pile.
Card by Kevan
O1
Barry
Thing
Change Barry's name to the name of another Thing in play when Barry is played. That Thing's text is considered blank until Barry is destroyed.
"Shut up about the Happy Box!"
Card by Corrigan
12B
The Evil Midnight Bomber (What Bombs at Midnight!)
Thing
Action Put a Bomb token into play. Bomb tokens cannot be destroyed by Thing effects or Things' Action abilities. Once every 12 minutes, destroy all Bomb tokens in play and an equal number of Things.
"Tell me I'm wrong, baby! I can't, 'cause you're not, baby!"
Card by Corrigan
R5
Dinosaur Neil
Thing
Action: Destroy 3 Things, 1 of which must be under your control, excluding Dinosaur Neil.
As soon as a white card is played, erase Dinosaur Neil's text.
"The moustache of a titan!"
Card by Corrigan
Assassin
Thing
Action: Destroy a Thing, unless its controller played a Thing or Action during their most recent turn.
Card by Kevan
Dodge
Action
Play in response to an Action card - it has no effect, and is returned to the hand of the player who played it.
Card by Kevan
Battery Pack
Thing
You may play one extra Action per turn, but it may only be used to play Action abilities.
Card by Kevan
Thanksgiving Dinner
Thing
When this card enters play, roll 2 six-sided dice and put that many counters on it.

At the end of each player's turn, that player gains 1 food-related Token of his or her choice for each counter on this card, then remove a counter from this card.
Card by jtwe
Hall of Mirrors
Thing
When this comes into play, put six Mirror tokens into play. Whenever an opponent plays an Action, roll a six-sided die - if the result is less than the number of Mirror tokens in play, destroy a Mirror token and it has no effect.
Card by Kevan
Level Up
Thing
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, the player responsible for its destruction gains an XP token. When a player gains their fifth XP token, they may draw three cards. When a player gains their tenth XP token, they win the game.
Card by Kevan
Poisoned Chalice
Action
Give a Thing you control to another player. They must discard two cards at random.
Card by Kevan
zombie!
Action
Wear a scary mask to the game and laugh as evilly as possible.If your opponent gives the first sign of flinching,then you can search your deck for any card and put it into your hand
Card by Chibigrunt
Ploughshares
Action
Reveal your hand to an opponent; they may choose a card from it and force you to discard it. You may then look at their hand and force them to discard a card of your choice.
Card by Kevan
JLB
The Library Of Babel
Thing
Action: Put a Token in play. Its name is a string of ten randomly chosen letters. Its rules text is a string of sixty randomly chosen letters. You may add any spacing and punctuation you wish.
Card by Zaratustra
3d6
Slot Machine
Action
Roll three dice and check the results on the table below:
  1st     2nd   3rd
1 Draw    One   Card
2 Discard Two   Thing
3 Destroy Your  Action
4 Create  Their Token
5 Lose    Every Hand
6 Win     This  Game
--
Card by Zaratustra
Steam Engine
Thing
During your turn, you may destroy any number of tokens you control to take that many extra Actions. You may not use the same Action ability twice in the same turn.
Card by Kevan
Avatars
Thing
Players count as Things. All players are initially under their own control. If a player would be destroyed, they discard a card instead if possible. If a player controls another player, they may look at that player's hand.
Card by Bucky
Clever Trap
Action
Swap hands with an opponent of your choice.
Card by Bucky
Bushfire
Thing
Action: Destroy a Thing and replace it with a Fire token. Any player who controls a Fire token may play this action ability.
Card by Kevan
Giant Spider
Thing
If a player controls a Web token, they may not play Things, but may take an Action to destroy a Web token. Action: Put a Web token into play under any player's control.
Card by Kevan
Rubber Human Suit
Action
Destroy a Thing. Put six Duck tokens into play under its controller's control.
Card by Kevan
V4
Invisibility Clothing
Thing
When this Thing comes into play, put an Invisibility marker on each Thing you control. Those Things are 'invisible'. Invisible Things cannot be targeted and are colourless. When an invisible Thing uses its Action ability, remove its Invisibility marker.
Card by Corrigan
Determinator
Thing
Things cannot use their Action ability if they used it on the previous turn of their owner.
"I'll be back. I will be back! I will!"
Card by Corrigan
Masons
Thing
Action: Create 1 Brick token. 4 Brick tokens are collectively known as a wall, and a wall counts as 1 Thing as a target. None of your Things, except walls, can be destroyed if you control a wall. When a wall is destroyed, +1 to the '1' in the first sentence.
Card by Corrigan
Spyware Beacon
Thing
Any opponent who controls a non-token Thing must play with their hand revealed.
Card by Kevan
Catch!
Action
A chosen opponent discards their hand, then takes all the cards from your hand into theirs.
Card by Kevan
Tentacles
Thing
Do not draw a card at the start of your turn. Action: Take a card from play and put it into your hand.
Card by Kevan
Rootkit
Action
Put this in an opponent's hand. They play with their hand revealed as long as it is there.
Card by Zaratustra
Tetris
Thing
At the start of your turn, each player puts a Tetrad token in play unless they discard a card. If a player has ten Tetrads in play, they lose the game.
Action: Give control of a Tetrad in play to another player.
Card by Zaratustra
Musical Chairs
Action
All players stand up and start walking around the game table. Start a timer. When the timer ends, they must sit on a chair: they gain control of all Things in play controlled by the previous chair's occupant.
Card by Zaratustra
A8
Hand on the Wrist
Thing
When you are eliminated from the game, eliminate another player too.
"I'm taking you with me!"
Card by Corrigan
Granite Fist From the Sky
Thing
Put up to 5 Height markers on this Thing. While this Thing has at least 1 Height marker on it, it is not in play. Every turn, remove a Height marker from this card. When this Thing has 0 Height markers on it, it enters play and destroys a number of random Things equal to the number of Height markers it started with. If this Thing has Height and you have no Things, destroy this.
Card by Corrigan
AZ26
Use the Useless
Action
Recite the alphabet backwards, stopping when you first make a mistake. Draw a number of cards equal to the number of letters you said.
"My years of study and practise have finally paid off!"
Card by Corrigan
The Suspense is Killing Me
Action
Look at an opponent's hand and choose any number of cards from it. They must play all of those cards immediately.
Card by Kevan
Queue Here
Action
Put all non-token Things on top of the draw pile, in any order.
Card by Kevan
Trapdoor Lever
Thing
Action: Destroy Trapdoor Lever and a Thing which came into play during its controller's last turn. You may not use this ability the turn that Trapdoor Lever comes into play.
Card by Kevan
A Narrow Mind
Thing
On all cards other than this one, replace the word 'all Things' with 'one random Thing belonging to each player'.
"If I don't understand it, it doesn't exist."
Card by Corrigan
The Punk Awards
Action
Each player gains a number of Money tokens equal the number of non-blue Things he/she controls.
"I am gonna buy so many groceries with this!"
Card by Corrigan
The Sting of Obscurity
Action
Destroy 1 Thing if you don't understand the connection between its name and its effect, or don't know what the title refers to.
"Irony? What's that?"
Card by Corrigan
Echo Chamber
Thing
Whenever any player plays an Action card, it takes effect twice.
Card by Kevan
Piggy Bank
Thing
Your tokens cannot be destroyed or stolen by an effect controlled by an opponent.
Card by Kevan
Black Market
Thing
Any player may, during their turn, destroy three Things they control to draw a card.
Card by Kevan
25X
Santa Claus
Thing
Action: Each player gives control of 1 Thing (2 in December) they control to another player. Players cannot give away Things that they were given.
Action: All players draw 1 card; 2 in December.
Card by Corrigan
The Sleep of Reason
Action
Each player may put five tokens of any types into play. They need not all be of the same type.
Card by Kevan
Electric Fence
Thing
Ignore any effect that would give an opponent control of a Thing you control, or which would give you control of an opponent's Thing.
Card by Kevan
Sledgehammer Nutcracker
Thing
Action: Destroy a token.
Card by Kevan
ecco the dolphin
thing
when this card comes into play,put five fish tokens into play.Remove one fish token to destroy one thing in play
Card by chibigrunt
Rubber Swords
Thing
Whenever a Thing would be destroyed, return it to its controller's hand instead.
Card by Kevan
Mulligan
Action
Reveal your remaining hand. If it contains all Things or all Actions, and contains at least two cards, you may discard it and draw five cards.
Card by Kevan
Cursed Scroll
Thing
Action: Name a card. An opponent chooses a card at random from your hand and looks at it; if it's the named card, you may destroy a Thing.
Card by Kevan
6Z
The Hammer of Thor
Thing
Action: Remove this Thing from play and destroy a Thing. On your turn after this, return The Hammer of Thor to your hand and discard a card.
Card by Corrigan
3O
The Spear of Odin
Thing
Action: Destroy a Thing; this overrides all other card effects in all circumstances. When you do this, discard 3 cards.
Card by Corrigan
X2
The Sword Excalibur
Thing
When you play this card, it does not count toward your per-turn Thing total.
Action: Destroy a Thing and flip a coin; if it comes up tails, destroy The Sword Excalibur.
Card by Corrigan
Cannon Fodder
Thing
If a Thing you control would be destroyed, you may destroy a token you control instead.
Card by Kevan
TV
Television Set
Thing
Action: Roll a 6-sided die and skip a number of turns equal to the result.
"Dvorak is too hard. Let's just watch TV."
Card by Corrigan
Fair Play
Action
Redistribute all the tokens evenly amongst the players.
Card by Demented Hacker
High Noon
Action
Play only if every player has at least one card in their hand. Each player simultaneously reveals a card from their hand - the player with the alphabetically earliest card title wins the game.
Card by Kevan
Desk Space
Thing
Each player's maximum hand size is equal to the number of Things they control.
Card by Kevan
Keeping Up With The Joneses
Action
Play only if a chosen opponent has more non-token Things than you. Draw and reveal cards, putting Things into play and discarding Actions, until you have as many Things in play as the chosen opponent.
Card by Kevan
Rainbow Sailormoon
Thing
Action: Moon Power Creation! Discard all your cards, draw twice as many cards that you've discarded. "In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!"
Card by NeweCreator
Floodwaters
Thing
Action: Each player destroys a Thing they control.
Card by Kevan
One-Man Band
Thing
Action: Play any number of Action cards.
Card by Kevan
Carbon Emissions
Thing
Whenever a player plays an Action or Action ability, they must put a Carbon token into play. The player with the most Carbon tokens cannot win the game.
Card by Kevan
1B
Y'All Want a Single
Action
Any opponent may reveal a non-Thing, non-Action card from their hand. If one does, end your turn. Otherwise, take first and advance each runner one base.
Y'all want a single say bunt that. Bunt that, bunt that.
Card by jtwe
One Hit Wonder
Action
Play only if you have no other cards in your hand and you have played no other cards this turn. Draw five cards and end your turn.
Card by jtwe
Bottomless Pit
Thing
At the start of your turn, discard a card. If you do, put a counter on this card. If you don't, destroy this card and draw one card, plus one card for each counter on it.
Card by jtwe
7D
Corpse Jelly
Thing
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, its text is added to Corpse Jelly's text. If the Thing ever refers to itself by name, replace its name with 'Corpse Jelly'.
Card by Corrigan
Sodium Pentothal
Thing
Action: Ask your opponent a yes/no question about the contents of their hand, or the cards or action abilities they intend to use next turn. If they are later revealed to have answered untruthfully, they lose the game.
Card by Kevan
Stalin's Might
Action
Destroy Fascism and take control of Eastern Europe.
Card by Pongo
Marxism
Thing
Every turn this card is in play, all cards are reshuffled then distributed evenly. Any leftover cards are discarded.
Rise up, comrades! Claim what is yours from the bourgeoisie!
Card by Pongo
Surprise Gift
Action
Each player must give another player a Thing card from their hand (or reveal their hand to show that they have no Thing cards).
Card by Kevan
Idol Switch
Action
Give a Thing you control to another player. Gain control of a Thing they control.
Card by Kevan
Abundance
Thing
Instead of drawing a card at the start of their turn, a player may draw cards until they reach their maximum hand size.
Card by Kevan
Q?
Dream Logic
Action
Swap a Thing in play with a Thing in your hand, or, swap a Thing in play with a Thing in the discard pile.
"I want to squash that spider, but I can't. The spiders are my only allies in the war against the bees."
Card by jtwe
Will It Blend?
Thing
Action: Select a Thing which represents a physical object that could fit inside a household blender. Destroy it.
Card by Kevan
Sign Here
Action
Suggest a new card. Your opponent must either make that card and put it into their hand, or discard their hand.
Card by Kevan
Mr. F. G. Superman
Thing
At the start of your turn, gain a Superman token.

Action: Search the deck for "Bicycle Repair Man" and put it into play.
Card by jtwe
Bicycle Repair Man
Thing
Play on a living Thing.

Reaction: Once per turn, when a Thing would be destroyed, discard a card to prevent that destruction. If this card is played on Mr. F. G. Superman, you do not need to discard a card.
Card by jtwe
The Spanish Inquisition
Thing
You may put this card into play at any time.
Card by Kevan
Left at Albuquerque
Thing
Whenever a Thing comes into play, it comes into play under the control of a randomly-selected player.
Card by Kevan
Better the Devil
Thing
Players may not play cards normally, but may, as an Action, reveal their hand to an opponent; that opponent chooses a card from it, which the owner must then play.
Card by Kevan
Alternate Ending
Action
Play this card in response to a player winning the game. Randomly select a player (other than the one who won originally) and declare them the winner.
Card by Corrigan
C2
Thrakkorzog
Thing
When Thrakkorzog is played, he does not count toward your per-turn Thing limit.
Action: Create a copy (use a token) of a living Thing controlled by an opponent and place it under your control. When Thrakkorzog is destroyed, he is removed from play.
"Can I clone or can I clone?"
Card by Corrigan
D2
Defence Mechanism Midgets
Thing
Whenever an opponent looks through the deck or looks at another player's hand, destroy a Thing they control.
"I had no idea I was so defencive!"
Card by Corrigan
Reichenbach Falls
Thing
Action: Choose two non-Token things, one controlled by yourself. Return them both to their controllers' hands.
Card by Kevan
Radar Antennae
Thing
Action: Choose an opponent. They must either show you a Thing card from their hand, or their entire hand.
Card by Kevan
Duck Call
Action
Choose a Thing in play. This card has the effect of its Action ability, if it has one.
Card by Kevan
-
S.E.P. Field
Thing
Turn all cards you have in play facedown until this leaves play. Whenever an ability of one of your cards in play is used, reveal it to all opponents.
Card by Zaratustra
boom
Land Mine
Bomb
May be played from your hand anywhere, any time. When a player reveals this card's rules text to any opponent, they discard their hand and this card is destroyed.
Card by Zaratustra
S5
Mime
Thing
Whenever an opponent plays a Thing, put a Token copy of that Thing in play. At the end of your turn, destroy all your Tokens.
Card by Zaratustra
4P
Rock Band Expansion Pack
Action
Target player discards his or her hand, then draws 1 card for each player in the game.
Card by jtwe
Schadenfreude
Thing
If you eliminate another player from the game, you win the game.

Action: Destroy this card to draw a card.
Card by jtwe
Energy Shield
Thing
Whenever a Thing would be destroyed, you may discard a card to prevent its destruction.
Card by Kevan
Rank and File
Thing
If a card has a single number in its corner, that is its Power Rating. If a card has no number, its Power Rating is the number of words in its name. A card cannot be destroyed by a card with a lower Power Rating.
Card by Kevan
?
Polymorphic Goo
Thing
You may choose this card's name and corner value when it comes into play.
Card by Kevan
The Proto-Clown
Thing
Whenever a player laughs, eliminate him/her.
Action: Destroy a Thing you control and destroy two Things you don't control.
When The Proto-Clown would be destroyed, roll a six-sided die and prevent the destruction of roll of 4 or lower.
"Clown smash!"
Card by Corrigan
Stevo
Thing
When you play this card you lose the game. You must play this card the moment you draw it, even if it is at the start of the game. When this card is played destroy all Buses. If you are later found in possession of this card you lose the game immediately.
bus
Card by jftsang
Summon Monster
Action
Draw and reveal seven cards. Put all living Things drawn into play, and discard the other cards.
Card by Kevan
Trampoline
Thing
Action: Return a Thing you control to your hand.
Card by Kevan
Do Not Press This Button
Action
Draw and reveal cards until you draw an Action card; discard all other cards drawn, and play the Action.
Card by Kevan
The Darren Syndrome
Thing
At the beginning of each player's turn, he/she must flip a coin. If it comes up heads, the player must destroy a Thing they control and play a Thing from their hand in its place. If the player has no Things, he/she is eliminated.
Card by Corrigan
"I'm Spartacus!"
Thing
Action: Choose one of your Things; all of your Things have that Thing's title until the beginning of your next turn.
Card by Corrigan
Attack of the Clones
Action
Destroy a number of Things equal to the number of Things you control (including tokens) who share the same name.
Card by Corrigan
Engineered Plague
Action
Pick a letter. Destroy all Things with that letter in their title.
Card by Kevan
Dumpster Dive
Action
Take a random Thing card from the discard pile and put it into your hand. Shuffle the discard pile afterwards.
Card by Kevan
i2
iBot
Thing
Action: Get an iPod (or other mp3 player) and pick a random song. Destroy a number of Things equal to the song's length in minutes.
At the beginning of each turn of yours, you must discard a card or destroy iBot.
Card by Corrigan
Jump the Shark
Action
Destroy a Thing which has either been in play for 5 or more turns or has used its Action ability 3 or more times.
Card by Corrigan
Fire at the Library
Action
Put the top 30 cards on the draw pile into the discard pile.
Card by Corrigan
Clockpunk
Thing
Whenever a Thing uses its Action ability, put a Rundown token on it. Things with Rundown tokens cannot use their Action abilities. Any player may take an Action to remove a Rundown token from a Thing.
Card by Kevan
Evil Ventriloquist
Thing
Action: A chosen opponent gives you a card, if they have one, which you must play immediately.
Card by Kevan
Greener Grass
Action
Swap hands with an opponent of your choice.
Card by Kevan
TORNADO!
Action
Take all the cards on the field and in everyone's hands, turn all of them facedown, mix them up and place cards equal to the number of cards on the field, on the field, with each player recieving cards equal to the number of cards originally on his/her side of the field. Do the same thing, replacing "on the field" or " on his/her side of the field" with "in the players' hands", or "in his/her hand", respectfully. Then destroy every third card that was redistributed in this manner.
"HOLY COW!!!".
Card by Nm8r
All or Nothing
Thing
Players may not play cards normally. As an Action, any player may play the entire contents of their hand, in an order of their choosing.
Card by Kevan