Difference between revisions of "Unplayable Dvorak deck"

From Dvorak - A Blank-Card Game
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type=Action|bgcolor=600|text=You may not play this card if playing it would cause any player to win the game.  You are eliminated.}}
type=Action|bgcolor=600|text=You may not play this card if playing it would cause any player to win the game.  You are eliminated.}}


{{card|title=Jordan|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=If you try to play Jordan, you are eliminated about 57% through playing it, unless you are a true guitar hero indeed.|bgcolor=006|flavortext=YgGygygygGrybob}}
{{card|title=Jordan|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=Forget it.  I don't care if you're a guitar hero or not, you can't play Jordan.|bgcolor=006|flavortext=YgGygygygGrybob}}


{{card|title=Mjolnir, Hammer of Thor|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=If this card leaves your hand, put it back in your hand.  If this card is in play at the end of your turn, you win.|bgcolor=006}}
{{card|title=Mjolnir, Hammer of Thor|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=If this card leaves your hand, put it back in your hand.  If this card is in play at the end of your turn, you win.|bgcolor=006}}
Line 90: Line 90:
Then shuffle the deck.}}
Then shuffle the deck.}}


{{card|title=Preposition|bgcolor=060|creator=Bucky|
{{card|title=Because|bgcolor=060|creator=Bucky|
type=Special|text=This card is neither an Action nor a Thing.}}
type=Special|text=This card is neither an Action nor a Thing.}}


Line 118: Line 118:
{{card|title=Void Cannon|bgcolor=000|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=You may only play this card if you have no cards in your hand.<BR>Eliminate a player.}}
{{card|title=Void Cannon|bgcolor=000|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=You may only play this card if you have no cards in your hand.<BR>Eliminate a player.}}


{{card|title=1337 5P34K1N6|bgcolor=606|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=1337|text=U /\/\4Y P14Y 0N1Y (4RD5 7H47 R 1337 0N 7H3 7URN U P14Y 7H15.  U /\/\U57 P14Y 2 (4RD5 3\/3RY 7URN. 411 Y0UR 8453 R 8310N6 2 U5.|cornervalue=1337}}
{{card|title=1337 5P34K1N6|bgcolor=606|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=1337|text=PWN 74R637 N008.  411 Y0UR 8453 R 8310N6 2 U5.|cornervalue=1337}}
 
{{card|title=Out Of Order|bgcolor=006|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=For some reason that lies just outside of your ability to comprehend, you can't play this card.  Sorry.}}
 
{{card|title=The Spanish Inquisition|bgcolor=006|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Thing|text=Play only in response to "I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition."}}
 
{{card|title="I Wasn't Expecting The Spanish Inquistion"|bgcolor=600|type=Action|creator=ChippyYYZ|text=Play only in response to The Spanish Inquisition.}}
 
{{card|title=Broken Record|bgcolor=600|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=Gain a Music token and play this card again.}}
 
{{card|title=Copyright Abuse|bgcolor=000066|creator=Bucky|
type=Thing|text=For the purpose of interpreting Special Rules only, 'Play' really means 'Create'.|flavortext=Unless you are Bucky, you have not played this card.}}
 
{{card|title=Free Win|bgcolor=600|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=Win the game, then remove Free Win from the deck archive.|flavortext=Works exactly as intended}}
 
{{card|title=Everybody Likes Them|bgcolor=000066|creator=Chinkeeyong|
type=Thing|text=Only cards which mention puppies may be played.}}
 
{{card|title=The Curse of Epimenides|type=Action|bgcolor=600|text=When you play this card, don't do what it says.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=I Don't Feel Tardy|bgcolor=600|creator=jtwe|type=Action|text=Draw an additional card at the beginning of your previous turn.}}
{{card|title=THREE OF CLUBS|creator=garythesnail|type=action|text=Draw the 3 of clubs from the deck if it is not in the deck.}}
{{card|title=You are the weakest link, goodbye.|creator=garythesnail|type=action|text=Get voted off, then leave. Goodbye. You lose.|flavortext=Kevan, Kevan, Kevan, Bucky, Kevan. Kevan, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.}}
 
{{card|title=Robot Torso|type=Thing|text=You can't play Robot Torso unless you already control Robot Legs.|creator=Corrigan|bgcolor=009}}
 
{{card|title=Ambiguous Research|type=Action|text=Draw a few cards ''(you must draw exactly a few)''.|creator=Corrigan|bgcolor=700}}
 
{{card|title=Option Overload|bgcolor=600|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=Perform four different actions from the following list:<br>*Draw a card<br>*Return a nonliving Thing to its controller's hand<br>*Gain a number of Energy Tokens equal to the number of cards in the discard pile.}}
 
{{card|title=Bogu's Boon|bgcolor=600|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=Choose the second option OR choose the third option OR (option not available).}}
 
{{card|title=Die!|bgcolor=600|type=Action|creator=ChippyYYZ|text=Roll a 39-sided die and destroy exactly that many Things.}}
 
{{card|title=Hovercraft|type=Thing|creator=ChippyYYZ|bgcolor=006|text=Hovercraft may not touch any surface.}}
 
{{card|title=Open Palm|type=Action|creator=ChippyYYZ|bgcolor=600|text=Discard your hand.  Play any card from your hand.}}
 
{{card|title=Logical Paradox|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=You may play Logical Paradox at any time it isn't legal to play it, and at no other time.}}
 
{{card|title=The Wild One|bgcolor=007|creator=Bucky|
type=Thing|text=The Wild One cannot be controlled!}}
 
{{card|title=Where'd Everyone Go?|type=Action|bgcolor=600|text=Shuffle this card back into the draw pile immediately when it is drawn if there are any players left in the game.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Corner the Market|type=Action|creator=ChippyYYZ|text=Destroy target cornervalue.  (leave the rest of the card unharmed.)}}
 
{{card|title=Totally Worth It|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=Give Bucky $2000 (US dollars, cash only).}}
 
{{card|title=Discard Happy|bgcolor=007|creator=Bucky|
type=Thing|text=Discard a token from your hand and a Thing card from Up Your Sleeve each turn.<br><br>When you discard this card from your hand, create a token of any type under target player's control.}}
 
{{card|title=Static Cling|type=Thing|text=When you play this card, it immediately returns to your hand.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Transdimensional Buffet|type=Action|text=Draw this card.|creator=Binarius|bgcolor=600|cornervalue=ƕ}}
 
{{card|title=CP Violation|type=Action|text=Draw -10 cards.|creator=Binarius|bgcolor=600|cornervalue=<span style="text-decoration: overline">B</span><sub>s</sub>}}
 
{{card|title=Extremely Delicate China|type=Thing|text=If this card touches anything except the drawing deck, immediately destroy it.|creator=JakeTheWolfie|bgcolor=006}}
 
{{card|title=False Hope|type=Action|text=You immediately lose the game if you play this.|creator=JakeTheWolfie|bgcolor=600}}
 
{{card|title=You bastard!|type=Action|text=Make another player play a card, ignoring anything that could stop this. Put this back into your hand.|creator=JakeTheWolfie|bgcolor=600}}
 
{{card|title=World's Greatest Ventriloquist|type=Action|text=Activate an Action ability of an opponent's Thing as if you controlled it.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Red Rover|type=Thing|text=When you play this card, gain control of target Thing and put this card into its original controller's hand.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Hacky Sack|type=Thing|text=When you gain control of Hacky Sack, put it into the control of target opponent.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Underkill|bgcolor=600|creator=JakeTheWolfie|
type=Action|text=Draw -999 cards.}}
 
{{card|title=Frost around the clock|type=Thing|text=No one can win while this is in play. Everyone can play out of turn, drawing a card per card they play.|creator=JakeTheWolfie|bgcolor=006|flavortext=Might as well make some use out of this deck}}
 
{{card|title=Visions of the Future|type=Action|text=View the entire deck, and all other people's cards, and the entire discard pile.|creator=JakeTheWolfie|bgcolor=600}}
 
{{card|title=Blatant Cheating|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=0U|
type=Action|text=Put your hand on top of the deck, then put five cards from Up Your Sleeve into your hand.}}
 
{{card|title=Cornervalue Certification|bgcolor=007|creator=Bucky|
type=Thing|text=All your non-token Things must have cornervalues; you lose your certification if any do not.}}
 
{{card|title=Pocket Mouse|bgcolor=007|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=0o|
type=Thing|text=If anyone looks at Pocket Mouse, it runs Up Your Sleeve.}}
 
{{card|title=A Call to Action|type=Action|cornervalue=6A|text=Reveal an Action from your hand. Each opponent does the same, or reveals their hand to show that they have none. You may exchange your Action with one revealed by an opponent. Then each player plays their Action in the order of your choice.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Get|type=Action|cornervalue=3G|text=Gain control of target Thing.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=In English Please, Professor?|type=Thing|cornervalue=9E|text=Cards with words longer than ten letters in their titles or ruletexts may not be played. Return any such Thing in play to its controller's hand.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Massacre|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=x.x|
type=Action|text=Eliminate everyone, then shuffle all the cards into the deck.}}
 
{{card|title=Perfect Recursion|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=0Z|
type=Action|text=All players play another game of Dvorak using the remaining draw pile. Eliminate yourself unless you win that game. Shuffle the deck afterwards.}}
 
{{card|title=Short Handed|bgcolor=007|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=2c|
type=Thing|text=Your true hand limit is 2; you can't have more than two cards in hand at any time.}}
 
{{card|title=Insane New Dance Move|type=Action|bgcolor=600|text=Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Cantor's Inverse Dimensionality Lemma|type=Action - Math Problem|bgcolor=600|text=Let Γ be an isotropic tangent space of '''ℝ'''<sup>''n''</sup> at ''ζ'' and Ξ be a piecewise sesqui&shy;linear transformation. Prove that there exists a relation ''f''<sup>-1</sup> of ''ζ'' such that we can con&shy;struct a connected polytope in the ''p''-adics diffeomorphic to ''H''<sup>2</sup>('''ℂ''', '''ℚ'''<sub>''p''</sub>). <BR>(Hint: Suppose ''σ'' is a Euclidean sub&shy;space of '''ℚ'''<sub>''p''</sub><sup>''n''</sup> and ''ψ'' is an antisymmetric mapping.)|creator=Binarius|longtext=Theorem of the Day}}
 
{{card|title="No, not that one."|type=Reaction|bgcolor=900|text=When you draw this card, you must immediately read its title aloud, draw another card, and put this card on top of the draw pile.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Very Long Handed|bgcolor=007|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=7c|
type=Thing|text=Your minimum hand size is 7; you can't have fewer than seven cards in hand at any time.}}
 
{{card|title=Cut the Middlemen|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=Play the top card of the deck without removing it from the deck. Then put it in the discard pile.}}
 
{{card|title=Card-Carrying Zombie|bgcolor=111|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=1Z|
type=Thing|text=This dies right after you play it. <br><br> While this is the top Thing card of the discard pile, anyone may use its Action ability. <br><br> '''Action:''' Draw a card, then discard a card. }}
 
{{card|title=Midnight|type=Action|bgcolor=006|text=If this is not played on January 1st, 2021 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Get With the Times|type=Action|text=Shuffle this card into the draw pile when you draw it if it is not the most recent addition to the Unplayable Dvorak deck.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Metaphysical Brick|type=Thing|text=This card is considered to be in your hand and not in play.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Perchance to Dream|type=Action|text=End the game with no winner. Immediately begin a new game with all players holding the same cards they held before the beginning of your current turn.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Literal Brick|type=Thing|text=When you draw this card, remove it from the game and pause said game until you find a brick. That brick is now in your hand.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Midnight|type=Action|bgcolor=006|text=If this is not played on January 1st, 2022 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=My Vocabulary Is Truly Impressive|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=For each of the next ten thousand cards you draw, when you draw it, create a token with a type that's a one-word common noun that hasn't been used as a token type yet this game.<br><br>Until you're done, you may not consult any dictionaries or thesauri.}}
 
{{card|title=Rewind|bgcolor=700|creator=Bucky|
type=Action|text=Restore the game to the state it was in at the start of the turn; everything since then never happened (including playing this).}}
 
{{card|title=The Spanish Inquisition|bgcolor=006|creator=Bucky|
type=Thing|text=Nobody can win or lose the game while The Spanish Inquisition is in play.
 
'''Action:''' Reveal your hand, destroy this, and lose the game if you have any black cards in hand.}}
 
{{card|title=Execution|type=Thing|bgcolor=006|text=If you can get one of your fellow players to be formerly executed in any fashion, then you win. Until then, you have not yet won.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Grandfather Paradox|type=Action|text=Restore the Unplayable Dvorak deck to the state it was in before this card was added.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=No|type=Action|bgcolor=600|text=If anyone is about to play a card. you can instead play this card to win.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
 
{{card|title=Creative Example|bgcolor=F66|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=1X|
type=Pseudoaction|text=''Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''<br><br>
 
Discard up to three cards, then draw that many cards plus one.}}
 
{{card|title=Destructive Example|bgcolor=66F|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=2X|
type=Pseudothing|text=''Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''<br><br>
 
'''Action:'''Discard a Thing card to destroy a Thing or Pseudothing}}
 
{{card|title=Hypocrisy|bgcolor=66F|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=3X|
type=Pseudothing|text=''Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''<br><br>
 
Where cards other than this one try to exempt themselves from Special Rules, they fail to do so.}}
 
{{card|title=Gabriel's Card|type=Action|bgcolor=600|text=Cut this card in half. Cut one of the new halves in half. Repeat this forever. If you are unable to, you do not win.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=No RNG Allowed|bgcolor=070|creator=Bucky|
type=Reaction|text=Play while an opponent is shuffling the deck to prevent the shuffle. Revert the deck's order to what it was before being shuffled. You can't do anything at random for the rest of the turn.}}
 
{{card|title=Sisyphean Effort|creator=ChippyYYZ|type=Action|text=Gain control of target Thing. Return control of it at the beginning of your next turn.<BR><BR>You must play this card an additional time to win with it.}}
 
{{card|title=Jump the Gun|bgcolor=070|creator=Bucky|cornervalue=4F|
type=Reaction|text=Play before the game starts (after choosing this deck of cards but before shuffling it). Take a turn, then shuffle your hand into the deck.}}
 
{{card|title=Low Budget Looter|bgcolor=007|creator=Bucky|
type=Thing|text=At the end of your turn, draw a card and discard half a card.}}
 
{{card|title=Stop the Clocks|type=Thing|bgcolor=006|text=Your turn does not end for the rest of your turn. You may draw any number of cards and play any number of things during your turn. If you play a thing this way, you may choose to ignore its' text.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Barren Victory|type=Pseudothing|bgcolor=66F|text=''Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''<br>
If you control no other things and have no cards in hand, you win the game.<br>
'''Action+Thing:''' Discard 1 card.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Counterfeit Currency|bgcolor=F66|creator=JakeTheWolfie|
type=Pseudoaction|text=''Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''<br>
Create 5 Money Pseudotokens. (Pseudotokens are tokens with "This doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules")}}
 
{{card|title=Faster This Way|type=Action|text=Discard your hand, put the discard pile on top of the draw pile, turn the draw pile face-up, and play every card in order.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Danger Music|type=Action|text=Throw the deck into a lit fireplace.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=瓹馞鴸霱|type=綕堀|bgcolor=600|text=燿莾傈㯾鞃鉥皽、欸鱃苉、緩柵䧐蹤癠䉑勂，畓髽椡櫹䝱龠䕘陟觖蓳鰓䟮馺坁。颵䶑䌌磞擥㠓。<BR><BR>磋㦒蒄栲夻鉴㙹穏靕鮛嵶㨕畜贄谼䩞䌀鼙。|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Decision of the Council|type=Thing|text=While you control this, any player may choose to destroy it.|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Many Bottles of Beer|type=Pseudothing|text=Place 99 Bottle counters on this card. At the beginning of a player's turn, they gain control of Many Bottles of Beer, then remove a bottle counter from it. Then, if there are no more bottle counters on it, they win the game.|bgcolor=66F|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Copper Angel|type=Artifact Thing|text= You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.|flavortext=In its heart lies the secret of mortality.|bgcolor=A86|creator=JakeTheWolfie}}
 
{{card|title=Kingmaker|type=Action|text=Discard a card. The players with the most cards in hand win the game.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Project Into the Past|type=Action|text=If fewer than zero cards have been played this game, shuffle all cards together, deal five cards to each player, and start the game. Otherwise, this counts as -1 card for the purpose of counting cards played. As such, the discard pile rejects it: return it to your hand and play an Action.|creator=Binarius}}
 
{{card|title=Future Horizon|type=Thing|text=If a player would win the game, they instead either draw ten cards, return a Thing they control to their hand, and play a Thing or are eliminated.|creator=Binarius}}
 
<br clear=all>
===Removed Cards===
These cards used to be in the deck archive, before someone used them to win a game.<br>

Latest revision as of 18:11, 22 December 2023

The Unplayable Dvorak Deck
Designer Everyone
Date November 2007 and onwards
Players 2+
Although this is an unfinished deck, it is still playable.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
Cards.gif Print this deck

Telnet.gif Generate MUSHcode
Cards.gif Generate Lackey export

Hammer and spanner.gif
This deck is under construction. Anyone is welcome to contribute - check the talk page to find out more.

The Unplayable Dvorak Deck follows the same rules of the Infinite Dvorak deck, with one new special rule:

If a player successfuly plays any card of the Unplayable Dvorak deck and fulfills all of its commands (in a Thing's case, until the end of the turn), they win the game and the card is removed from the deck archive.


Card list

Overkill
Action
Draw 999 cards.
Card by Zaratustra
Playing With a Full Deck
Thing
If you control a Heart, a Diamond, a Spade, and a Club, you win the game.
Card by jtwe (Infinite Dvorak deck)
A Little More Conversation
Action
Destroy an Action.
Card by Zaratustra
Coming up short
Action
Discard a number of cards equal to one plus the number of cards in your hand.
Card by Bucky
Silence
Thing
No cards may be played on the turn this enters play.
Card by Bucky
Echo
Action
Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your previous turn.
Card by Bucky
The Ultimate Pick-Up Line
Thing
Lick your eyebrows when this comes into play.
Card by Zaratustra
Oche
Action
Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your next turn.
Card by Zaratustra
Misfire
Action
Negate this Action.
Card by Bucky
Game Over
Action
You may not play this card if playing it would cause any player to win the game. You are eliminated.
Card by Gimlear
Jordan
Thing
Forget it. I don't care if you're a guitar hero or not, you can't play Jordan.
YgGygygygGrybob
Card by ChippyYYZ
Mjolnir, Hammer of Thor
Thing
If this card leaves your hand, put it back in your hand. If this card is in play at the end of your turn, you win.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Secret Word
Action
You must say the secret word when you play this.
No, I'm not going to tell what the secret word is.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Double Trouble
Action
Play another card called Double Trouble.
Card by ChippyYYZ
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Action
Shuffle the draw pile into the discard pile and draw a card.
Card by Binarius
Golden Fiddle
Thing
You must win a game of Dvorak against the Devil in order to play this card.
Card by ChippyYYZ
The Playable Card
Action
All special rules are repealed while playing this card.
Card by ChippyYYZ
AWOL
absent
Remove this card from the deck before beginning the game.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Fuse
Action
Draw a card and play it immediately.
Card by Binarius
Wand of Summon Monster
Action
Search the draw pile for a Monster card and put it into play. Then shuffle the draw pile.
Card by Binarius
Fishing Rod
Action
Gain control of a fish.
Card by Binarius
Ravenous Spawn of the Outer Planes
Thing-Monster
When you play this, put a Thing belonging to another player face-down under it.
Card by Bucky
über-brkeqn qr@d v dtbphkngjl
Action
Say the name of this card as you play it. You must pronounce it correctly.
Card by Bucky
Loophole Man
Thing
Cannot be played. Discard this card from your hand to look at another player's hand and force them to discard any one card.
Card by Bucky
Fizz
Action
Discard a card and play it immediately.
Card by Binarius
Refuse
Action/Thing
As an Action: No matter what, don't play any cards this turn. As a Thing: This card does not belong on the table. Put it in the discard pile.
Card by Binarius
Noteworthy
Action
Compose and record a hit song about Dvorak. You may choose its genre, but it must appear on the Billboard Hot 100 or the UK Singles Chart.
Card by Binarius
Victory Lap
Thing
Play this only in response to winning the game.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Print Wikipedia
Action
Destroy a rainforest and put an unholy number of Wikipedia Article Tokens into play.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Warning: Critical Mass
Thing
When this enters play, type:
loadcard Error/A/Error
164 times. Then shuffle the deck.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Because
Special
This card is neither an Action nor a Thing.
Card by Bucky
Taste the Infinite
Action
Put this card on top of the draw pile, then draw a card and immediately play it if possible.
Card by Bucky
Cheshire Cat
Thing
If Cheshire Cat is ever in your hand, reveal it to all players, draw a card and then put Cheshire Cat on the bottom of the draw pile.
Card by Bucky
Ultimate Weapon
Thing
Every turn, including the turn this card enters play, destroy a Thing and eliminate its controller.
Card by Binarius
Wanton Destruction
Action
Discard a token, eliminate a Thing, and destroy an opponent.
Card by Binarius
Consolation Prize
Thing
Play this card into your control after you have been eliminated.
Card by Binarius
Foreshadow
Action
Reveal an Action from your hand. Play this as a copy of the revealed Action.
Card by Bucky
Time Block
Thing
You cannot end your turns. You may take any number of extra Actions each turn.
Card by Bucky
White Flag
Thing
You cannot win the game while White Flag is in play.
Card by Bucky
Chuck Norris's Secret Weakness
Type
This card is a figment of your imagination and doesn't exist.

You may think you're reading it now, but trust me, there is no card here.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Void Cannon
Thing
You may only play this card if you have no cards in your hand.
Eliminate a player.
Card by ChippyYYZ
1337
1337 5P34K1N6
1337
PWN 74R637 N008. 411 Y0UR 8453 R 8310N6 2 U5.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Out Of Order
Thing
For some reason that lies just outside of your ability to comprehend, you can't play this card. Sorry.
Card by ChippyYYZ
The Spanish Inquisition
Thing
Play only in response to "I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition."
Card by ChippyYYZ
"I Wasn't Expecting The Spanish Inquistion"
Action
Play only in response to The Spanish Inquisition.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Broken Record
Action
Gain a Music token and play this card again.
Card by Bucky
Copyright Abuse
Thing
For the purpose of interpreting Special Rules only, 'Play' really means 'Create'.
Unless you are Bucky, you have not played this card.
Card by Bucky
Free Win
Action
Win the game, then remove Free Win from the deck archive.
Works exactly as intended
Card by Bucky
Everybody Likes Them
Thing
Only cards which mention puppies may be played.
Card by Chinkeeyong
The Curse of Epimenides
Action
When you play this card, don't do what it says.
Card by Binarius
I Don't Feel Tardy
Action
Draw an additional card at the beginning of your previous turn.
Card by jtwe
THREE OF CLUBS
action
Draw the 3 of clubs from the deck if it is not in the deck.
Card by garythesnail
You are the weakest link, goodbye.
action
Get voted off, then leave. Goodbye. You lose.
Kevan, Kevan, Kevan, Bucky, Kevan. Kevan, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Card by garythesnail
Robot Torso
Thing
You can't play Robot Torso unless you already control Robot Legs.
Card by Corrigan
Ambiguous Research
Action
Draw a few cards (you must draw exactly a few).
Card by Corrigan
Option Overload
Action
Perform four different actions from the following list:
*Draw a card
*Return a nonliving Thing to its controller's hand
*Gain a number of Energy Tokens equal to the number of cards in the discard pile.
Card by Bucky
Bogu's Boon
Action
Choose the second option OR choose the third option OR (option not available).
Card by Bucky
Die!
Action
Roll a 39-sided die and destroy exactly that many Things.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Hovercraft
Thing
Hovercraft may not touch any surface.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Open Palm
Action
Discard your hand. Play any card from your hand.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Logical Paradox
Action
You may play Logical Paradox at any time it isn't legal to play it, and at no other time.
Card by Bucky
The Wild One
Thing
The Wild One cannot be controlled!
Card by Bucky
Where'd Everyone Go?
Action
Shuffle this card back into the draw pile immediately when it is drawn if there are any players left in the game.
Card by Binarius
Corner the Market
Action
Destroy target cornervalue. (leave the rest of the card unharmed.)
Card by ChippyYYZ
Totally Worth It
Action
Give Bucky $2000 (US dollars, cash only).
Card by Bucky
Discard Happy
Thing
Discard a token from your hand and a Thing card from Up Your Sleeve each turn.

When you discard this card from your hand, create a token of any type under target player's control.
Card by Bucky
Static Cling
Thing
When you play this card, it immediately returns to your hand.
Card by Binarius
ƕ
Transdimensional Buffet
Action
Draw this card.
Card by Binarius
Bs
CP Violation
Action
Draw -10 cards.
Card by Binarius
Extremely Delicate China
Thing
If this card touches anything except the drawing deck, immediately destroy it.
False Hope
Action
You immediately lose the game if you play this.
You bastard!
Action
Make another player play a card, ignoring anything that could stop this. Put this back into your hand.
World's Greatest Ventriloquist
Action
Activate an Action ability of an opponent's Thing as if you controlled it.
Card by Binarius
Red Rover
Thing
When you play this card, gain control of target Thing and put this card into its original controller's hand.
Card by Binarius
Hacky Sack
Thing
When you gain control of Hacky Sack, put it into the control of target opponent.
Card by Binarius
Underkill
Action
Draw -999 cards.
Frost around the clock
Thing
No one can win while this is in play. Everyone can play out of turn, drawing a card per card they play.
Might as well make some use out of this deck
Visions of the Future
Action
View the entire deck, and all other people's cards, and the entire discard pile.
0U
Blatant Cheating
Action
Put your hand on top of the deck, then put five cards from Up Your Sleeve into your hand.
Card by Bucky
Cornervalue Certification
Thing
All your non-token Things must have cornervalues; you lose your certification if any do not.
Card by Bucky
0o
Pocket Mouse
Thing
If anyone looks at Pocket Mouse, it runs Up Your Sleeve.
Card by Bucky
6A
A Call to Action
Action
Reveal an Action from your hand. Each opponent does the same, or reveals their hand to show that they have none. You may exchange your Action with one revealed by an opponent. Then each player plays their Action in the order of your choice.
Card by Binarius
3G
Get
Action
Gain control of target Thing.
Card by Binarius
9E
In English Please, Professor?
Thing
Cards with words longer than ten letters in their titles or ruletexts may not be played. Return any such Thing in play to its controller's hand.
Card by Binarius
x.x
Massacre
Action
Eliminate everyone, then shuffle all the cards into the deck.
Card by Bucky
0Z
Perfect Recursion
Action
All players play another game of Dvorak using the remaining draw pile. Eliminate yourself unless you win that game. Shuffle the deck afterwards.
Card by Bucky
2c
Short Handed
Thing
Your true hand limit is 2; you can't have more than two cards in hand at any time.
Card by Bucky
Insane New Dance Move
Action
Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards.
Card by Binarius
Cantor's Inverse Dimensionality Lemma
Action - Math Problem
Let Γ be an isotropic tangent space of ℝn at ζ and Ξ be a piecewise sesqui­linear transformation. Prove that there exists a relation f-1 of ζ such that we can con­struct a connected polytope in the p-adics diffeomorphic to H2(ℂ, ℚp).
(Hint: Suppose σ is a Euclidean sub­space of ℚpn and ψ is an antisymmetric mapping.)
Card by Binarius
"No, not that one."
Reaction
When you draw this card, you must immediately read its title aloud, draw another card, and put this card on top of the draw pile.
Card by Binarius
7c
Very Long Handed
Thing
Your minimum hand size is 7; you can't have fewer than seven cards in hand at any time.
Card by Bucky
Cut the Middlemen
Action
Play the top card of the deck without removing it from the deck. Then put it in the discard pile.
Card by Bucky
1Z
Card-Carrying Zombie
Thing
This dies right after you play it.

While this is the top Thing card of the discard pile, anyone may use its Action ability.

Action: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Card by Bucky
Midnight
Action
If this is not played on January 1st, 2021 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.
Get With the Times
Action
Shuffle this card into the draw pile when you draw it if it is not the most recent addition to the Unplayable Dvorak deck.
Card by Binarius
Metaphysical Brick
Thing
This card is considered to be in your hand and not in play.
Card by Binarius
Perchance to Dream
Action
End the game with no winner. Immediately begin a new game with all players holding the same cards they held before the beginning of your current turn.
Card by Binarius
Literal Brick
Thing
When you draw this card, remove it from the game and pause said game until you find a brick. That brick is now in your hand.
Midnight
Action
If this is not played on January 1st, 2022 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.
My Vocabulary Is Truly Impressive
Action
For each of the next ten thousand cards you draw, when you draw it, create a token with a type that's a one-word common noun that hasn't been used as a token type yet this game.

Until you're done, you may not consult any dictionaries or thesauri.
Card by Bucky
Rewind
Action
Restore the game to the state it was in at the start of the turn; everything since then never happened (including playing this).
Card by Bucky
The Spanish Inquisition
Thing
Nobody can win or lose the game while The Spanish Inquisition is in play. Action: Reveal your hand, destroy this, and lose the game if you have any black cards in hand.
Card by Bucky
Execution
Thing
If you can get one of your fellow players to be formerly executed in any fashion, then you win. Until then, you have not yet won.
Grandfather Paradox
Action
Restore the Unplayable Dvorak deck to the state it was in before this card was added.
Card by Binarius
No
Action
If anyone is about to play a card. you can instead play this card to win.


1X
Creative Example
Pseudoaction
Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Discard up to three cards, then draw that many cards plus one.
Card by Bucky
2X
Destructive Example
Pseudothing
Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Action:Discard a Thing card to destroy a Thing or Pseudothing
Card by Bucky
3X
Hypocrisy
Pseudothing
Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Where cards other than this one try to exempt themselves from Special Rules, they fail to do so.
Card by Bucky
Gabriel's Card
Action
Cut this card in half. Cut one of the new halves in half. Repeat this forever. If you are unable to, you do not win.
No RNG Allowed
Reaction
Play while an opponent is shuffling the deck to prevent the shuffle. Revert the deck's order to what it was before being shuffled. You can't do anything at random for the rest of the turn.
Card by Bucky
Sisyphean Effort
Action
Gain control of target Thing. Return control of it at the beginning of your next turn.

You must play this card an additional time to win with it.
Card by ChippyYYZ
4F
Jump the Gun
Reaction
Play before the game starts (after choosing this deck of cards but before shuffling it). Take a turn, then shuffle your hand into the deck.
Card by Bucky
Low Budget Looter
Thing
At the end of your turn, draw a card and discard half a card.
Card by Bucky
Stop the Clocks
Thing
Your turn does not end for the rest of your turn. You may draw any number of cards and play any number of things during your turn. If you play a thing this way, you may choose to ignore its' text.
Barren Victory
Pseudothing
Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

If you control no other things and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Action+Thing: Discard 1 card.
Counterfeit Currency
Pseudoaction
Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.
Create 5 Money Pseudotokens. (Pseudotokens are tokens with "This doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules")
Faster This Way
Action
Discard your hand, put the discard pile on top of the draw pile, turn the draw pile face-up, and play every card in order.
Card by Binarius
Danger Music
Action
Throw the deck into a lit fireplace.
Card by Binarius
瓹馞鴸霱
綕堀
燿莾傈㯾鞃鉥皽、欸鱃苉、緩柵䧐蹤癠䉑勂，畓髽椡櫹䝱龠䕘陟觖蓳鰓䟮馺坁。颵䶑䌌磞擥㠓。

磋㦒蒄栲夻鉴㙹穏靕鮛嵶㨕畜贄谼䩞䌀鼙。
Card by Binarius
Decision of the Council
Thing
While you control this, any player may choose to destroy it.
Many Bottles of Beer
Pseudothing
Place 99 Bottle counters on this card. At the beginning of a player's turn, they gain control of Many Bottles of Beer, then remove a bottle counter from it. Then, if there are no more bottle counters on it, they win the game.
Copper Angel
Artifact Thing
You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.
In its heart lies the secret of mortality.
Kingmaker
Action
Discard a card. The players with the most cards in hand win the game.
Card by Binarius
Project Into the Past
Action
If fewer than zero cards have been played this game, shuffle all cards together, deal five cards to each player, and start the game. Otherwise, this counts as -1 card for the purpose of counting cards played. As such, the discard pile rejects it: return it to your hand and play an Action.
Card by Binarius
Future Horizon
Thing
If a player would win the game, they instead either draw ten cards, return a Thing they control to their hand, and play a Thing or are eliminated.
Card by Binarius


Removed Cards

These cards used to be in the deck archive, before someone used them to win a game.

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