My name is NinjaWookiee... obviously...
I'm German and just love this fucking cardgame.
My Dvorak story
As kid me and a friend once made a yu-gi-oh-like cardgame ourselves by cutting out images of magazines and add abilities and stuff to it. We had a deck of over 100 cards and one day we through it away. Why? Because we were goddamn fucking idiot kids.
Since then we always wanted to make an own simple card game again, but we hate yu-gi-oh nowadays and didn't wanted to do something like that.
Then one day I found Dvorak through pure luck by using StumpleUpon.com.
I was actually blown away by the idea and the next weekend me and 2 friends started to make cards. First game was played with a deck out of 63 random cards mostly just based on things we like or inside jokes between us. As far as I remember it the first game alone was approximately 5 hours long!!! But it was worth it.
2 games later the deck is over 100 cards big. NO SHIT! We really thought about making a new separate deck but we decided "Fuck it! Let's just always make new cards and create one giant frustrating and time-consuming, but also entertaining deck.
That's why we always make new cards if we have new ideas (And right now they come like flies on shit) and add the cards in between the games. We had 2 games, which just went for 1 hour or so. But all of the other were over 3, sometimes 5 hours long. It's hard, but it's fun.
We call Dvorak the coolest and most creative cardgame ever done but also the most upsetting and time-consuming game of all time. But that's probably just because of our cards. Anyways, we love Dvorak and our deck will expand forever.
Someday we wanna buy a golden briefcase and only we 3 now the code to open it. We will give everything to not loose any card and always keep it.
If we're old we will get out the old selfmade cards and laugh our ass off at what bullshit we made as teenagers. And when we die, we will give it to our kids telling them to add new cards and so on.
Maybe I'm gonna put our deck in here, but that would be almost as time-consuming and upsetting as playing the game itself. There are already over 100 cards in our deck and we're already making new ones!
Our own dvorak deck
Alright I'm gonna start dumping our dvorak deck. I hope I'm translating everything right (from German to English).
If you don't understand some thing it's probably because it's based on inside jokes, but you can always ask if you're curious.
Some of them are based on cards I found here on this wiki. I try to add the right creator to them.
And the most important thing: DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!
The colors intend the colors of the text and pics on the cards. (Because we all used ballpens to make them they're alle black or blue.) This can be important.
If a card is white, then it is because I don't know right now what color it is.
Some of this cards I'm adding by memory because the real cards aren't near me right now.
I'm just starting. There are A LOT more cards to come.
Giant Enemy Crab
Thing
Your Opponents can't win, while "Giant Enemy Crab" is in play.
"Giant Enemy Crab" comes into play with 6 HP counter. If it's gonna be destroyed just remove 1 HP counter instead. If all counters are removed, destroy "Giant Enemy Crab".
Everyone can discard 2 cards to remove 2 HP counter.
Attack his weak point for massive damage.
Shit stain on toilet? Blast it with piss.
Action
Discard a card and destroy a thing.
A dead baby stuffed full of heroin in your moms car
Thing
Lay this card under a thing of your choice. If that chosen thing is destroyed, removed from the game or send back to its controllers hand, its controller discards all cards.
Pedobear
Thing
When Pedobear comes into play, choose an opponents thing. You control the chosen thing now. Put 3 tokens on the chosen thing and remove one of it at the beginning of your turn. I f there aren't any tokens left, destroy the chosen thing.
"I, I, I like little girls! They make me feel so good!" - Little Girls by Oingo Boingo
Hypno
Thing
When Hypno comes into play, choose an opponents thing. You control the chosen thing now. Put 3 tokens on the chosen thing and remove one of it at the beginning of your turn. I f there aren't any tokens left, destroy the chosen thing.
"It carries a pendulum-like device. There once was an incident in which it took away a child it hypnotized." - Pokemon FireRed Pokedex Entry
Bluedust
Thing
When Bluedust comes into play, choose an opponents thing. You control the chosen thing now. Put 3 tokens on the chosen thing and remove one of it at the beginning of your turn. I f there aren't any tokens left, destroy the chosen thing.
Meeting spot: NinjaWookiees basement
Action
If you control Pedobear, Hypno and Bluedust play this card and you win the game.
Ufoporno
Action
Shout out loud "Ufoporno!". Choose one thing of every player in the game and give every player one of them randomly chosen back.
Ufopornooooooo!!!!!
Roll of Toilet Paper
Thing
If someone plays a thing you can play this (even if it's not your turn) and put it under the gamers control into play. He/she has to take the thing he/she wanted to play back then.
I've got something way better for you.
Wolfbluts salivary filaments
Action
3 things of your choice now are "sticking together". If one of them becomes destroyed, destroy the others too.
DVD-Collection
Thing
If you control 6 or more movie inspired cards you win the game.
Sevicke Power
Thing
Every turn put 1 counter on "Sevicke Power". If there are 5 counter on it you win the game.
"Sevicke Power" is immune to the T-Virus.
If "Sevicke Power" gets destroyed, destroy 5 things.
Simon Stoodowitz
Thing
Action: Be cool (This ability can be played at every time)
Thing: Remove "Simon Stoodowitz" from the game and put 1 career counter on it at the beginning of your turn. I fthere are 10 career counter on it, you win the game. If 8 things were played put "Simon Stoodowitz" back into play and remove all counters.
Holy Heater
Thing
"Holy Heater" is immune to the T-Virus.
Lay 1 heat counter on "Holy Heater" at the beginning of your turn. If there are 5 heat counters on "Holy Heater" destroy every thing in play.
"Holy Heater!" - NinjaWookiee
Objection!
Thing
You may play this if anyone plays a card. Shout out loud "Objection!" and destroy the card that the played wanted to play. If that card was indestructible the player just takes it back on his hand.
The One Ring
Thing
Put this card on a thing. That thing gets treated by your opponents as if it was removed from play. You can still use it as if its in play normally. It's immune to cards, which get cards back into the game.
"[...]But they were all of them deceived, for a new ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret, a master ring, to control all others. And into this ring he poured all his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all. One by one, the free peoples of Middle Earth fell to the power of the Ring.[...]" - Galadriel
Smeagol / Gollum
Thing
As Smeagol:
Action & Thing: Steal a card of your choice of an player of your choice.
If "The One Ring" gets played onto "Smeagol" it becomes "Gollum".
As Gollum:
Action: Steal a card of your choice of an player of your choice.
"My preciousssssss!"
The Settlers of Catan
Action
You can offer a card for trade.
Who gives me clay for a lamb?
Movietrailer
Action
Reveal a card from your hand. You can play that card in your next turn without paying for it.
Coming soon to a game near you!
Evil Scoop of Ice Cream
Thing
"Evil Scoop of Ice Cream" comes into play with 5 Melting counter on it. Remove one counter at the beginning of your turn. If there are 0 counters on it, destroy "Evil Scoop of Ice Cream".
Action: Destroy a thing or a player of your choice discards a card.
If "The Sun" is in play remove half of the counters on "Evil Scoop of Ice Cream" rounded down.
Carpe Diem
Thing
"Carpe Diem" comes in play with 3 counter. Remove 1 counter at the beginning of your turn. As long as there is at least 1 counter on "Carpe Diem" all players can only play cards made by Wolfblut.
Action: Destroy a thing that's not made by Wolfblut.
Wolfbluts Mother
Thing
"Wolfbluts Mother" comes in play with 3 counter. Remove 1 counter at the beginning of your turn. As long as there is at least 1 counter on "Wolfbluts Mother" all players can't play cards made by Wolfblut.
Action: Destroy a thing made by Wolfblut.
Drinking Mountain Dew
Action
You can play up to 2 things and 2 actions this turn.
EDEKA
Action
Search for "Drinking Mountain Dew" or "Carpe Diem" in the deck and take it on your hand.
Spider
Thing
Action: A thing of your choice can't use any of its abilities anymore. It's "cocooned" now.
Thing: Destroy a "cocooned" thing of your choice. You can prevent Spider from getting destroyed by doing this.
Broken Toilet
Thing
Steal a card of you choice from the player who was on the toilet last of all players.
Team Rocket
Thing
Thing: You gain control of an opponents pokemon card in play.
You can prevent the use of "Throw Pokeball".
Prepare for trouble!
Throw Pokeball
Action
Take an opponents thing on your hand.
A complain to the police
Thing
If someone wants to steal a card of you, you can play this card and steal a card of your opponent instead.
Toiletpaper Ninja
Thing
Action: Discard a card. An opponent of your choice discards 2 cards.
Well, well... Those Asians...
God
Thing
God gets all thing- and action-abilities of all other cards in play.
If an opponent destroys "God" you win the game.
"[..]And god saw, that it was good.[...]" - Bible
//This card was inspired by Buckys "Mary Sue, Avatar of Perfection"//
Everyone makes cards about rape, nazis and death... But who thinks about the children?!
Thing
If someone says "Shit", he/she discards a card.
If someone says "Fuck" or "FU", he/She looses the game.
If someone curses otherwise, he/she destroys one of his/her things.
//Inspired by ZTs "Everybody is making cards about Crime and Drug Abuse and Sex and who thinks about the children?!"//
Fairplay
Thing
Lay "Fairplay" on a thing of your choice. This thing now is controlled by every player.
Ha Ha Ha! I Switched Your Bullets With Marshmallows!
Action
Play in response to an action. That action is negated and goes to your hand. Give its player an action from your hand; they must play that card instead.
Teamwork
Thing
Draw 5 cards. Discard 2 of them and show the rest of 'em to all players. An opponent of your choice chooses one of the remaining cards which gets played by you immediately. Discard the remaining 2 cards.
Uh-oh...
Action
If you draw this card play it as soons as possible. Every opponent can draw cards until they all reaches their maximum hand sizes.
Two-Handed Sword
Thing
You may not play cards.
You can destroy 1 thing every turn of yours other than Two-Handed Sword.
T-Virus
Action
Take control of an opponents thing of your choice. That thing now counts as a zombie and as unholy.
T-Virus
Action
Take control of an opponents thing of your choice. That thing now counts as a zombie and as unholy.
We forgot the rules
Thing
Everyone draws a card at the end of their turns instead of the beginning.
Land of Immortals
Thing
Things cannot be destroyed, expect for "Land of Immortals".
Master of the Nothing
Action
Bring back a card, which was removed from the game and shuffle it back into the deck.
Bitchslap
Action
An player of your choice skips his/her next turn.
The girl, that sang the blues
Action
Reveal cards from the top of the deck until you reveal a Blues Brothers related card. You can choose to play it now without paying for it or just add it to your hand and shuffle the others into the deck.
A forgotten card idea
Action
A thing in play of your choice is from now on considered blank until the end of the game.
Ladder Match
Thing
If you control a wrestler and there a 5 climbing counters on Ladder Match you win the game.
Wrestler
Thing
Action&Thing: Put 1 Climbing counter on Ladder Match.
Sheamus
Thing
Sheamus counts as a Wrestler.
Action&Thing: Put a Climbing counter on Ladder Match or destroy a thing.
That Wrestling-folding chair-bug
Thing
As long as "That Wrestling-folding chair-bug" is in play, no one can win by "Ladder Match".
Wolf
Thing
As an Action: Draw 4 cards and destroy a Thing you control.
As a Thing:
Action: Destroy a thing or take control of up to 3 Tokens.
Print this deck
