Infinite Dvorak deck

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The Infinite Dvorak Deck
Designer Everyone
Date March 2007 and onwards
Players 2+
Although this is an unfinished deck, it is still playable.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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This deck is under construction. Anyone is welcome to contribute - check the talk page to find out more.
Cards 1-100
Cards 101-200
Cards 201-300
Cards 301-400
Cards 401-500
Cards 501-600
Cards 601-700
Cards 701-800
Cards 801-900

The Infinite Dvorak Deck is an ever-expanding card game, which anyone can add cards to. There's no coherent theme, and cards can be original, inspired by anything, copied from other Dvorak decks, or even dragged in verbatim from other card games.

The only rules to adding cards are:-

  • Don't add more than three cards at a time; give someone else a chance to add some, before you add any more. And make sure you put your cards at the bottom of the page.
  • Don't change other people's cards. If something seems ambiguous or broken, raise it on the talk page.
  • Cards shouldn't refer to other cards. Remember that the deck is infinite! Cards should avoid making any specific references to other cards or mec

hanics, because they might never see those specific cards during play, particularly if you think of the deck as infinite. You should word your mechanics as generically as possible - a fishing rod card that said "gain control of a fish" would be useless in a game where no fish cards came up, whereas one that said "gain control of a living Thing" would probably see some use in every game.

(A good test is to open a random archive page from this deck, and see how many of its cards your new card could apply to. If there are only one or two cards that you could play it on, then you probably haven't worded it generically enough.)
  • No special rules. This deck has no Special Rules aside from the two described below; it's all on the cards. Cards should not create Special Rules (or any equivalent "invisible" effect that significantly outlives the lifetime of the card); players should only have to read the cards on the table to know what's going on.
  • Values in the corners of cards are meaningless, unless there's another card in play that somehow gives them meaning.

Whenever anyone's feeling insane enough to play a game of it, they can export it to the Dvorak Engine, or possibly Apprentice (if it's possible to make decks that contain every card of a set).

Special Rules

The only rules that this deck uses in addition to the basic Dvorak rules are:-

  • Tokens exist. Some cards can create or destroy or manipulate "tokens", which you should represent with whatever coins or counters you have to hand. Tokens count as Things, but if a token is destroyed or otherwise removed from play, it's removed from the game entirely. Tokens may or may not have individual types (such as "energy" or "goblin"); if a token has a type, it's considered to be its name, otherwise its name is just "Token".
  • If there's an ambiguity, vote on it. For example: if a card says to destroy a "living" Thing, and a player is wondering if it'll work against a "zombie" card, the players should take a vote to determine whether or not the zombie counts as living. If a majority decision can't be reached, resolve it randomly.

Card List

The earlier cards of this deck have been archived: 1-100, 101-200, 201-300, 301-400, 401-500, 501-600, 601-700, 701-800, 801-900.


Second-Hand Shop
Thing
Action: Discard a card to gain a number of Money tokens equal to the number of words in the card's title.
Card by Kevan
Guru Meditation
Thing
At the end of any turn in which no Things or Actions were played, draw a card.
Card by Kevan
The Summer Home Card
Thing
Whenever it is a player's turn, they must play as many cards as possible.
Card by Corrigan
Year-Sucking Machine
Thing-Machine
At the end of each turn, remove the top card on the draw pile from play entirely.
No one survives the machine.
Card by Corrigan
Rags-to-Riches Race
Thing
When you play this card, destroy all cards in play other than this one, which is not considered to be under any player's control. The first player to control 20 Things wins. If a player ever has 0 Things after the next turn cycle, they are eliminated from play. After you play this card, you may play another Thing.
"I will goooooo from rags to riches..."
Card by Corrigan
2G
Scavenge
Action
Move a card from the discard pile to your hand, then discard a card.
Card by Bucky
6R
Firestorm
Action
Give this card to the player on your right. That player must destroy 1 Thing he controls for each card that has been played since the end of his last turn.
Card by Bucky
5G
Recycling Bin
Thing
Each other player may, once per turn, give you a card from eir hand in order to draw a card.
Card by Bucky
2S
Rapid Fads
Thing
On each player's turn, when they would normally draw a card, they instead discard their hand and draw a new one.
Card by Corrigan
5T
Creepy Stuffed Owl
Thing
Whenever an Action ability or card that involves selecting a target is used by an opponent, flip a coin. If the coin comes up heads, they can select the target normally, but cannot target this card. If the coin comes up heads, then this card must be the target. This is the only way to target this card. If this Thing is ever made living, it is not affected by locations.
Card by Corrigan
2X
Old Photocopier
Thing
When this card is destroyed, it may not be returned from the discard pile. Action: Select any number of your Things, change their colour to black, and make them copies of one of your Things which was not selected. Then flip a coin and erase this card's effect if the coin comes up tails.
Card by Corrigan
Waste Not Want Not
Thing
Whenever a card would be discarded, the player who is discarding it may play it instead. (This does not count towards their per-turn limit.)
Card by Kevan
Acid Rain
Thing
Each player must destroy a Thing they control (other than this card), at the start of each of their turns.
Card by Kevan
Hand Graft
Action
Discard your hand. Take a Thing from play and put it into your hand.
Card by Kevan
EMC2
Matter-Energy Converter No. 1
Thing
Action: Destroy any number of your other tangible Things to play an equal number of Actions.
When an opponent gains control of this card, destroy all of their other Things.
Card by Corrigan
EMC2
Matter-Energy Converter No. 2
Thing
Action: Destroy any number of your other tangible Things to destroy an equal number of opposing Things.
When an opponent gains control of this card, destroy all of their other Things.
Card by Corrigan
EMC2
Matter-Energy Converter No. 3
Thing
Action: Destroy any number of your tangible Things to create and control an equal amount of Energy Tokens.
When an opponent gains control of this card, destroy all of their other Things.
Card by Corrigan
Universal Remote Control
Thing
Action: Activate the Action ability of any Thing in play, with you making any decisions required by it.
Card by Kevan
Barricade
Thing
Whenever an Action played by an opponent would affect either your Things or your hand, it instead has no effect and this Thing is destroyed.
Card by Kevan
Domino Effect
Action
Destroy a Thing. Its controller may then choose to take this card and play it immediately.
Card by Kevan
4A
Medieval Alchemy
Thing
Change all tokens (other than Fire, Water, Earth, Air and Money tokens) into Fire, Water, Earth or Air tokens (the controller of the token chooses which kind for each token). Action: Destroy a Water token, a Fire token, an Earth token and an Air token (all under your control) to create a Money token. Any player may use this ability at any time.
Card by Corrigan
4
Elemental Powers
Thing
Action: Destroy one of your Fire tokens and a Thing card. Action: Destroy one of your Water tokens and draw a card. Action: Destroy one of your Air tokens and control a Thing card.
Action: Destroy one of your Earth tokens and render a Thing card's text blank.
Card by Corrigan
1I
Mass-Production Machine
Thing
Draw a card. For as long as this card is in play, all cards drawn are considered to be copies of that card.
Card by Corrigan
Reproducible Bug
Thing
Play this onto a Thing controlled by an opponent, and place an Action card from your hand under this card. Whenever the Thing's Action ability is invoked, you may play a copy of the Action card.
Card by Kevan
4P
Blank Tombstones
Thing
Flip the discard pile upside down. Whenever a player moves cards from the discard pile for whatever, he/she must look through the discard pile and keep them face down, not seeing what those cards are until they are moved them from the discard pile.
Card by Corrigan
NS
Supermagnet
Thing
Action: Take control of up to 6 metal Things.
Card by Corrigan
3T
Triple Threat
Action
Destroy a Thing, take control of a Thing and force an opponent to discard a card from his/her hand.
Card by Corrigan
Brain Drain
Thing
Whenever you draw a card, take a card at random from a chosen opponent's hand instead. (If opponents have no cards in their hands, you do not draw.)
Card by Kevan
Chessboard
Thing-Location
When a Thing is destroyed by another Thing, put the destroying Thing in the place where the destroyed Thing was. Every turn, change this card's color from white to black or vice-versa. When another Location is played, destroy Chessboard.
Card by Corrigan
V8
Violet Violence
Action
Destroy a number of non-purple Things equal to the number of purple cards you control (including your hand).
Card by Corrigan
6C
Purple Sabre
Thing
A Thing equipped with this card adds "Action: Destroy X Things and discard X cards from your hand. You cannot destroy a number of Things greater than the number of cards in your hand." to the end of its text.
Card by Corrigan
Mao
Thing
Action:Target opponent must draw a card.
Failure to say "Mao."
Card by Bucky
Tollbooth
Thing
Whenever a player plays an Action or an Action ability of a Thing, he/she must destroy a thing he/she controls.
Card by Bucky
H2
Bloodlust
Thing
When a Thing would destroy another Thing with an Action ability but fails, that Thing selects a different Thing as its target.
Kill...kill...kill.
Card by Corrigan
R7
Sir Répetitive
Thing
Action: Destroy a Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing.
Card by Corrigan
E3
Energy Concept
Thing
Give each player 25 Energy tokens. Whenever a player plays a card or uses an Action ability, they must destroy 1 Energy token they control. Whenever a player destroys or takes control of an opposing Thing, they create and control 2 Energy tokens. When a player has no Energy tokens left, they are eliminated from the game.
Card by Corrigan
Cockroach
Thing
This Thing may not be destroyed.
Card by Kevan
Combination Safe
Thing
Tokens you control may not be destroyed or stolen by other players.
Card by Kevan
Farmland
Thing
Action: Put a Seed token into play. Action: Destroy a Seed token; draw a card, and put it into play in place of the Seed token, if it is a Thing. (If it is an Action, discard it.)
Card by Kevan
2B
Operator
Thing
Play onto a Thing with an Action ability. That Thing's first action ability is triggered at the beginning of each of its owner's turns, but may not be used in place of an Action.
Card by Bucky
Über Micro
Action
Choose one of the following: Draw three cards; destroy target Thing; or take another turn after this one.
Card by MaxX Unlimited, Pure Pwnage CCG
Double Strike
Action
Reveal an Action from your hand, when you play this; this card is treated as a copy of it.
Card by Kevan
J6
Circlet of Courage
Thing
Play this card onto a Thing you control and add 'This overrides all other card effects.' to the end of its text.
Card by Corrigan
C3
Fan Club
Thing
Pick a creator. Destroy all cards in play (other than this one) that were not created by that creator. All players discard all cards in their hands not by that creator. Whenever a player draws a card by a different creator, they must remove that card from the game until they draw a card by the selected creator. This card counts as a club.
Card by Corrigan
Y4
Reward/Risk
Thing
Action: Destroy up to 6 Things. Then roll a 6-sided die and destroy this card if the result is equal to or less than the amount of Things you destroyed.
Card by Corrigan
Token
Thing
Card by Bucky
Stack
Thing
Action:put a Thing in play under this card and all cards under it.
Action: remove the bottommost thing from under this card.
In addition its normal type and text, this card counts as a copy of the bottommost card under it (if any) and has all the text of that card.
Card by Bucky
Dave Eggers Attack
Action
Destroy all opposing Things whose titles are 3 or fewer words long.
Check out my Heartbreaking Card of Staggering Genius!
Card by Corrigan
Rookie Cards
Thing
If a player controls a card that was the first card its creator added to the Infinite Dvorak Deck, they win. A player may also reveal his/her hand and win if they have a card that was the first one its creator added to the Infinite Dvorak Deck in his/her hand.
I'll trade you my The Ergonomics of the Situation for your Tempermental Cloning Machine.
Card by Corrigan
L3
The Mad Hatter
Thing
Action: Each player takes another player's seat, taking their cards with them. Each player must end up in a different seat. Then flip a coin. If it comes up heads, play goes counterclockwise, if tails, clockwise.
Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you at.
Card by Corrigan
Dynamo
Thing
You may discard two cards at any time in order to play an Action out of turn.
Card by Bucky
Refuse
Action-Response/Thing
As an Action: Play in response to an opponent giving you one of their Things. Return the Thing to them.
As a Thing: None of your other Things can be destroyed by an opponent until Refuse is.
Card by Corrigan
Life Should Be Flavourful
Thing
When you play this card, destroy all Things in play without flavortext. No cards without flavortext can be played while The Zest of Life is in play.
This card doesn't destroy itself because it has flavortext.
Card by Corrigan
Boot
Action/Thing
As an Action: Put target Thing in your hand.
As a Thing: Play this card onto a Thing you control and add 'Any cards destroyed by this card are removed from the game.' to its text.
"Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense".
Card by Corrigan
Last step Bungled
thing
if this thing is in play you may put it in an opponents hand to prevent them from winning the game for one turn.
You Forgot to Flip the Red Switch?
Card by Jindra34
Land of the Immortals
Thing
Things cannot be destroyed.
Card by Bucky
Bull's Eye
Thing
Whenever an Action or an Action ability of a Thing targets a Thing, it must target Bull's Eye.
Card by Bucky
Plot Complication
Action
Remove target non-Token Thing you control from the game. Remove target non-Token Thing an opponent controls from the game.
So the Token Eater fell in love with the Card Mine, and it kinda went downhill from there.
Card by Bucky
I9
Effigy
Thing
Choose one of your Things. Whenever that Thing would be destroyed, destroy Effigy instead. Effigy can't be voluntarily targeted.
"Your enemies must not be very bright."
Card by Corrigan
C3
Ventriloquist Dummy
Thing
Whenever one of your Things uses an Action ability, it is considered to have been used by Ventriloquist Dummy.
It's creepy too.
Card by Corrigan
Z1
Completely Loony Mix-Up
Thing
All players draw cards at the end of their turn instead of at the beginning.
"Drawing at the end! It's just so crazy!
Card by Corrigan
$$
Brought To You By
Thing
Dead.gif
Once every turn, you may mention a fact about this card's sponsor (no repeats) to draw an extra card.
Card by Zaratustra
7C
Canasta
Thing
Instead of drawing a card, you may put the top card from the discard pile into your hand.
Card by Zaratustra
..
Raise The Odds
Action
If you win the next game you play, win this game.
Card by Zaratustra
1G
Last Gasp
Action
Play in response to being eliminated from the game, or another player winning the game. Immediately take a turn; if you can win before it ends then you win instead.
Card by Bucky
3d6
Mighty hammer of DOOM
Thing
Discard two cards: destroy target Thing.
Action: destroy target Token.
Card by Bucky
Vandalize
Action
With a felt pen, scribble on target Thing. Any part of the card that was scribbled on is considered to not exist.
I am a confused, angry youth with no positive outlet.
Card by Corrigan
Pong
Thing
Crumple a piece of paper into a ball. Action: You and target player throw the ball back and forth until one fails to catch or fumbles it. When a player fumbles or fails to catch the ball, the other player gets a Point token and gains control of Pong. Whenever a player has 10 Point tokens, he/she wins the game.
Bip...bong...bip...
Card by Corrigan
Blue Man Group
Thing-Collective
Put 3 Blue Man counters on this card. Whenever this card would be destroyed, remove a Blue Man counter from it and erase one of this card's Action abilities or else destroy it. Action: Use an inanimate Thing's Action ability. Action: Draw a card. Action: Play 2 Action cards from your hand.
Card by Corrigan
B4
Flipside
Action
Put aside all cards you have in play. Play all the cards in your hand. Return all cards put aside to your hand.
Card by Zaratustra
$_$
MMORPG Model
Action
If you pay $10 to your opponent, you win.
Card by Zaratustra
4Q
Improvise
Action
Refill your hand to maximum size with any Dvorak cards, gaming cards or card-like items you can find in the room you're playing.
Scratch here -- you may have already won $10000!
#########################
#########################
#########################
Card by Zaratustra
Raging Bull
Thing
Every turn, Raging Bull destroys a random Thing (this does not count as an Action).
Action: Raging Bull doesn't destroy a Thing this turn.
Not a reference to the movie.
Card by Corrigan
C3
Card Puritanism
Thing-Tack On
All Actions have "and destroy 5 token Things." added to the end.
Card by Corrigan
Wolf
Action/Thing-Pun
As an Action: Draw 4 cards and destroy a Thing you control.
As a Thing: Action: Destroy an organism.
Action: Take control of up to 3 Tokens.
Card by Corrigan
Petard Launcher
Thing
Action: Destroy a Thing that has the word 'destroy' in one of its action abilities.
Card by Kevan
Two-Handed Sword
Thing
You may not play cards. Action: Destroy a Thing other than Two-Handed Sword.
Card by Kevan
S1
Gypsy Fair
Thing
Action: Take control of a Thing until your next turn.
Action: Each player draws a card from the discard pile.
Action: All players switch hands with the player on his/her left.
Action: Draw a card and discard a card.
Action: All players discard their hand and draw a new hand.
Action: Destroy a Token you control.
Card by Corrigan
Occam's Razor
Action
Destroy all Things in play except for the one with the fewest words in its text. If there is a tie, don't destroy any of those Things.
Card by Corrigan
Clone
Action/Thing
If played as an Action:
Create and control a copy of target Thing.
If played as a Thing:
This card counts as a copy of target Thing.
This card didn't really need to be an Action/Thing, but it is anyway. You can use it strategically in relation to your per-turn limit, though.
Card by Corrigan
!D
Seriously, Give It A Rest
Thing
Things can't be destroyed by Actions that haven't been played from your hand.
Card by Zaratustra
Variance
Thing
Each Action can only be used once. Remove the card from the game or strike the text off the card once it's used.
Card by Zaratustra
Piñata
Reaction
You may play this whenever another player destroys one of your Things. Draw 5 cards.
Card by Zaratustra
Inspector Gadget
Thing
Action: Reveal a Thing from your hand, and play any of its Action abilities as if Inspector Gadget had that ability (replacing the name of the revealed card with the name of this card).
Card by Kevan
Revolving Fireplace
Thing
Action: Put aside any number of Thing cards from your hand. Return all Things you control (except for this card) to your hand. Put all set aside Thing cards into play.
Card by Kevan
Locust/Lotus
Thing-Multi
As Locust:
Action: Destroy 7 Tokens.
As Lotus:
Whenever any of your Things are destroyed, draw that many cards.
Card by Corrigan
Beam/Bean
Thing-Multi
As Beam:
Action: Destroy Beam and target Thing. You may use this out of turn.
As Bean:
Each turn, gain a Growth token.
Action: Destroy Bean and all of your Growth tokens. Draw a number of cards equal to the number of growth tokens you destroyed.
Card by Corrigan
This Card
Thing
Whenever a card's text says 'this card', it refers to This Card.
Card by Corrigan
Puyo Puyo
Thing
Whenever there are four or more Things in play with the same color, destroy all of them.
Card by Zaratustra
Glass Ceiling
Thing
There can't be more Things in play than there were when this was played. Players may destroy their own Things at will.
Card by Zaratustra
Dave Eggers Block
Action-Response
Prevent the destruction of a Thing you control by an opposing card with a title 3 or fewer words long. If the opposing card was an Action, it still gets destroyed.
Dave Eggers to the rescue!
Card by Corrigan
Viper
Thing
Action: Put a Poison counter on target living Thing-that Thing is now 'Poisoned'. This card cannot use its Action to put a Poison counter on a Poisoned Thing. Each turn, each Poisoned Thing gains a Poison counter. Whenever a Thing has 5 Poison counters on it, destroy it.
Card by Corrigan
Pandemonium at the Theater
Action
Look at the top 2 cards on the draw pile; if they are both created by Kevan, put them in your hand. Take control of a Thing created by Jindra34. Put target Thing created by Bucky into the hand of the player to your left. Move a card created by Corrigan (including this one) from the discard pile to your hand. Remove a card created by fanofphilosophy from the game.
Card by Corrigan
Drawkcab
Thing
Turn order goes: Discard down to five cards; Play an Action and/or Thing; Draw a card.
Card by Zaratustra
DDoouubbllee
Thing
Whenever you draw a card, draw two instead. Whenever you would play an Action, you must play two Actions instead. Whenever you would play a Thing, you must play two Things instead. These effects are not recursive.
Card by Zaratustra
The B
Thi
Counts as half a Thing.
Action: Draw half a card.
Card by Zaratustra
Unhinged!
Action
If you have at least two things by the same creator, gain half an Ass token (counts as a Donkey!) for each such creator. If another player says the word "Gotcha!" while this is in the discard pile, you may say "Gotcha!" and return this from the discard pile to your hand.
Anyone who catches all these references gets a cookie -Bucky, flavor text writer
Card by Bucky
Cantor Set
Thing
At the start of your turn, all players discard a third of the cards in their hand, rounding up.
Card by Zaratustra
Bank Error In Your Favor
Action
Gain 20 Money tokens.
Card by Zaratustra
The Thousandth Card
Action
If there are 1000 or more cards in the draw pile, you win.
Card by Zaratustra
S3
Solar Panel
Thing
At the beginning of a turn of yours where the light of the sun touches Solar Panel, gain 2 Energy tokens. Other players cannot block the sun's light.
Action: Destroy X Energy tokens you control and play X Actions.
Card by Corrigan
Pfx
Post-
Thing
Play onto a Thing. That Thing adds "Post" to the beginning of the first word in its title. When the card with Post- on it is destroyed, put a copy of it into the draw pile.
Card by Corrigan
Sfx
-ism
Thing
Play onto a tangible Thing. That Thing adds "ism" to the end of the last word in its title and is now an abstract Thing and cannot be destroyed by tangible Things.
Card by Corrigan
3x
Multiplier
Action
Make two copies of target card in your hand and put them in your hand. You may destroy 5 Things you control; if you do, add the text "You may take an extra Action the turn you play this" to the bottom of the copies.
Card by Bucky
Token Fun Pack
Thing
Action:Destroy this. You gain three Tokens of types of your choice and one token of a type of each opponent's choice.
Card by Bucky
50% Off
Thing
All numbers referred to in digit form are considered to be halved.
Card by Zaratustra
P8
Arson
Action
Hold a lit match or lighter up to target Thing. Once it catches fire, wave it out. Any blackened or burnt-off parts are considered to not exist.
Fire is my only friend.
Card by Corrigan
H2
Shockwave
Action
Put a coin on each corner of this card. Put Shockwave in the middle of the table. With your finger, flick each coin away from its corner. Any Things touched by a coin are destroyed.
Card by Corrigan
F2
Token Minority
Thing
The player who controls the fewest tokens draws 2 cards each turn.
See? We got a black guy! We're not racists!
Card by Corrigan
Three's the Charm
Action
Draw two cards and mark somewhere that this card has been played. Whoever plays this card for the third time wins the game.
"I shall succeed where you have failed!"
Card by GreenLiquid
Greatest Ploy Ever
Action-Ploy
Players must immediately reverse their hands so that the other players can see their cards but they cannot. When drawing cards, players may not see the card themselves. When playing a card, once they have seen the card's text, they must play the card if able. This condition can only be reverted if Greatest Ploy Ever is played again.
Card by GreenLiquid
Coupon Cozen
Thing-Arbitrary
This Thing counts as two Things for the purpose of cards that care about how many Things a player has/are in play.
"Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers... well, I'll cut you a break this time."
Card by GreenLiquid
The Fantastic Four
Thing-Collective
Put 4 Member counters on this Thing. Whenever this card would be destroyed, remove a Member counter from it and erase one this Thing's Actions. Action: Flip 2 coins & destroy 1 Thing for each head. Action: Your Things can't be destroyed until the beginning of your next turn. Action: Use a Thing's Action ability. Action: Discard 1 card & destroy 1 Thing.
Card by Corrigan
XD
'X'-treme Dvorak
Thing
Hand size is infinity for all players. On their turn, each player draws 4 cards. Each player may play 3 cards per turn, regardless of their type.
"Extreeeeeme!"
Card by Corrigan
Pfx
Anti-
Thing
Play onto a Thing and 'Anti' to the beginning of its name. Invert all key words in its text. ('destroy' becomes 'return from the discard pile', etc.)
Card by Corrigan
Game-balance Committee
Thing
Action: Ignore all of target Thing's text until the end of your next turn.
Card by Bucky
Decay
Action
Remove target sentence from a card.
Time is the ultimate equalizer.
Card by Bucky
The Bucky Response
Action
Remove all text from target Thing. Remove it from the game at the end of the turn.
If a card's too broken, just refuse to play with it.
Card by Bucky
Art Attack
Action
Give each player X sticky notes, where X is the number of Things he/she controls. Each player has X8 seconds to create a relevant, legible image for each Thing they control and stick it onto the respective Thing. If a player is unable, he/she discards their hand and does not draw cards for X turns.
Card by Corrigan
Rats
Thing-Collective
Put 5 Rat counters on this card. Whenever this card would be destroyed, remove a Rat counter from it instead. When this Thing has 0 Rat counters on it, it is destroyed. Whenever a Thing is destroyed, draw X-2 cards, where X is the number of Rat counters on this card.
Card by Corrigan
Sfx
-omatic
Thing
Play onto a Thing with an Action ability and add 'omatic' to the end of its title. That Thing is now mechanical. It uses its Action ability every turn of yours and does not cost an Action.
Card by Corrigan
Wand of Polymorph
Thing
Action: Destroy a Thing, and replace it with a Thing from your hand.
Card by Kevan
Wand of Taming
Thing
Action: Gain control of a living Thing.
Card by Kevan
Wand of Create Monster
Thing
Action: A chosen opponent must play a Thing from their hand, or reveal their hand to show no Thing cards.
Card by Kevan
2S
Double Standard
Thing
You cannot play Things and your opponents cannot play Actions.
Card by Corrigan
C
Cheers!
Action
All players increase their hand size by 3.
Card by Corrigan
N2
Pity
Thing
Whenever a Thing would be destroyed by a targeting Thing or Action, its owner may weep to negate the destruction.
Have a heart.
Card by Corrigan
Hatchery
Thing
Action: Destroy a token, then reveal and discard cards from the deck until you reveal a Thing - put that Thing into play in place of the token.
Card by Kevan
Petrifying Gaze
Action
Destroy a Thing and replace it with a Statue token.
Card by Kevan
Overlord
Thing
Action: Put a Minion token into play. Action: If you control more Minion tokens than the number of non-Token Things in play, destroy a Thing.
Card by Kevan
Stockpiles
Thing
All your tokens gain the text "Action: Destroy this and draw a card."
Card by Bucky
5B
Proxy
Thing
Action: Discard an Action. This ability has the same effect as that Action.
Card by Bucky
C2
Sea Cucumber
Thing
When this Thing is destroyed, put 2 copies of it into play under your control.
Card by Corrigan
Autographed Jersey
Thing
Play this card onto a Thing. When the Thing with this card would be destroyed by a Thing, you may prevent its destruction by attaching this card to the enemy Thing.
"Of course it's real!"
Card by Corrigan
Meteor Shower
Action
Take 15 poker chips or similarly-sized flat objects and throw them onto the table. Destroy any Thing it touches. If any chips touch the discard pile, remove that many cards from the game, beginning from the top. If any touch the draw pile, put that many cards into the discard pile, beginning at the bottom.
Card by Corrigan
Invisible Hand
Action
If your hand is empty after playing this card, draw five cards.
Card by Kevan
The Lord of the Xerox
Thing
Whenever a player duplicates a card, they must put a card from their hand into yours. When this card would be destroyed, flip a coin and prevent the destruction if it comes up tails.
You do NOT copy reports without my permission.
Card by Corrigan
Toxic Cloud of Venomous Death-Poison
Action
Destroy all organisms in play.
There is no limit to how many redundant adjectives you can have. Seriously.
Card by Corrigan
Couch
Thing
Action: Put a Thing with an Action ability on this card.
Action: Remove a Thing from this card.
For every turn a Thing spends on this turn, put a Rest counter on it. A Thing can remove X Rest counters from it and use its Action ability X times. While a Thing is on Couch, it cannot use its Action ability.
Card by Corrigan
52 Card Pickup
Action
Every player discards their hand.
Card by Kevan
Rummage
Thing
Whenever you draw a card, you may give it to an opponent to draw another card instead.
Card by Kevan
Tower of Hubris
Thing
If Tower of Hubris is in play at the start of your turn, you win the game. If the Tower leaves play or leaves your control, you lose the game.
Card by Kevan
S3
Schroedinger's Cat
Thing
The next time a player plays a card or uses a Thing's Action ability, destroy Schroedinger's Cat and eliminate that player.
C'mon, aren't you tempted a little bit?
Card by Corrigan
O3
Blind
Action
Randomly pick a player; that player must play with his/her eyes shut until the beginning of your next turn.
Blaan-ded by the light!
Card by Corrigan
Defibrillator
Thing
Action: Put the top card in the discard pile in your hand if it was in the discard pile for fewer than 3 turns.
Card by Corrigan
Bubble Shield
Thing
Opponents may not play Actions that would affect your hand or your Things, and you may not play Actions except for Bubble Shield's Action. Action: Return Bubble Shield to your hand.
Card by Kevan
Prize Conveyor Belt
Action
Draw and reveal cards until you decide to stop, or until you have revealed ten. Take the last card you revealed and put it into your hand; discard the rest.
Card by Kevan
Carousel Room
Thing
Players may not play cards normally. As an Action, they may reveal a card at random from their hand, and play it.
Card by Kevan
3D
Magnetic Wall
Thing
All metal Things are under your control they and all have erased text.
Card by Corrigan
4L
Aggressive Swear Jar
Thing
Whenever a player cusses (vote if unsure), destroy a random Thing under his/her control.
"You could just as easily say 'darn', you know."
Card by Corrigan
Closest to Mao as We Can Get With One Card
Thing
When a player's hand is empty (but not on the turn this card is played), they win. When a player asks a question, all other players must say "Nice question, thank you for asking". Players can't talk unless one first says 'point of order', then all players put down their hands and cease play. When players are done talking, one must say 'end point of order'.
Card by Corrigan
Simon Says
Thing
At the end of each player's turn, they may say 'Simon says play a Thing' or 'Simon says play an Action'. If the next player does not play a card of that type by the end of their own turn, they are eliminated.
Card by Kevan
Malfunction
Action
Play in response to a Thing using its Action ability. Destroy that Thing, and its Action ability has no effect.
Card by Kevan
Heist
Action
Gain control of a Thing belonging to an opponent. That opponent may then play any number of cards from their hand.
Card by Kevan
A4
Andy Warhol
Thing
Action: Create a copy of one of your Things, except the copy's colour cannot be the same as the original card's colour. If you copy the same card more than once, each copy must be a different colour.
"I call it 'Red Shot Tollbooth'."
Card by Corrigan
Artistic Pressure
Thing
Each player, after drawing a card, must create a new card that the majority approves of. The same card may not be created more than once, and no cards can be copies of pre-existing cards.
Card by Corrigan
B2
Evil Snowman
Thing
When this Thing is destroyed, gain 3 Water tokens. Each Water token has 'Action: Destroy this and play a Thing from your hand.'
Action: Roll a six-sided die and destroy target Thing on a roll of 4 or lower.
Card by Corrigan
SPFPSDW
Permanency
Action
Target Player's next Action becomes a Thing: every turn after it's played, it will be replayed with the same targets and effects.
Card by Zaratustra (Spellcaster deck)
PP
Surrender
Action
Forfeit the game. Do not perform this gesture accidentally.
Card by Zaratustra (Spellcaster deck)
Poverty Riot
Action
If you control no Things, destroy 5 Things.
If you control the fewest Things of any player, destroy 2 Things.
Card by Corrigan
Chameleon Bigot
Thing
Once per turn (including those of your opponents), you may change this card's colour. This doesn't cost an Action.
Action: Destroy a Thing whose colour is different from Chameleon Bigot's colour.
Card by Corrigan
Beehive
Thing-Collective
This Thing comes into play with 20 Bee counters on it. When this Thing has 0 Bee counters on it, destroy it. When Beehive would normally be destroyed, destroy 2 Bee counters instead. Action: Create a Honey token if you have 2 or more Bee counters. Action: Destroy a Honey token and put a Bee counter on this Thing.
Card by Corrigan
Insurance Policy
Thing
If a Thing you control is destroyed or leaves your control, put it back into play under your control at the end of the turn. At the start of each of your turns, you must discard a card or destroy Insurance Policy.
Card by Kevan
Mafia
Action
Destroy a Thing and return this card to your hand. If you discard this card on an opponent's turn, or if an opponent views your hand with this card in it, you lose the game.
Card by Kevan
Golden Goose
Action
Either draw four cards and give this card to an opponent, or draw a single card.
Card by Kevan
Impermanency
Thing
Things are played as Actions. Any 'Action:' clauses on Things are enacted upon being played.
Card by Zaratustra
A Subtle Commentary
Action
Destroy a non-Thing.
Card by Zaratustra
A Blunt Commentary
Action
Play only if target opponent controls a card with 'Destroy a Thing' in the rules text. That opponent has to eat it.
Card by Zaratustra
Train Roof Shootout
Thing
At the start of each player's turn, return all Things they control to their hand.
Card by Kevan
My Turn Now
Action
Play in response to an opponent using the Action ability of a Thing. Gain control of that Thing.
Card by Kevan
Charity Drive
Action
Each player must give a Thing they control to another player.
Card by Kevan
Survivor Elimination
Action
Each player writes down the name of another player on a slip of paper. All players then reveal their slips of paper simultaneously. Eliminate the player whose name appears on the most slips.
Card by Corrigan
Urgency
Thing
On all cards other than this one, replace the word 'may' with 'must'.
Card by Corrigan
Achilles' Heels
Thing
Each player writes down the name of a Thing they control (keeping it a secret). When a Thing whose name was written down is destroyed, its controller is eliminated.
Card by Corrigan
Tit for Tat
Thing
Whenever any player plays an Action, any other player may play an Action for free, immediately afterwards.
Card by Kevan
Everyone Loves Einstein
Action
Say X of Albert Einstein's famous sayings and draw X cards. You cannot use the same one multiple times. If a player proves that any of the sayings were not by Einstein, you discard 3 cards.
Card by Corrigan
King of the Beggars
Thing
While this card is in play, all other players have a hand size of 1 and you have a hand size of 2.
"He's a wealthy man. He has a baseball cap and a toque."
Card by Corrigan
13
Black Cat
Thing
Whenever a card effect involving chance (including random selection) is used, it always comes out in the worst possible way for the player using the effect or controlling the card.
Card by Corrigan
Capture the Flag
Thing
Put a Flag token into play under an opponent's control, and end your turn. If you gain control of an opponent's Flag token, you win the game. If an opponent gains control of this card, you lose the game.
Card by Kevan
King of the Hill
Thing
Whenever this comes into play or changes owner, put five Tick tokens into play, then destroy any Tick tokens in excess of five. At the start of your turn, destroy a Tick token. When there are no Tick tokens in play, you win the game.
Card by Kevan
Sudden Death
Thing
Whenever an Action targets a Thing, destroy that Thing.
Card by Kevan
Summon
Action
Play a Thing from your hand.
Card by Corrigan
Patience Test
Action
When you play this card, do not reveal that you have played it until after the following occurs: Repeatedly poke target player on the arm (slowly, and no gouging) until they tell you to stop or you have poked them 15 times. You draw 15-X cards, where X is the number of times you poked the player. That player then draws X cards.
Card by Corrigan
Dot Com Bubble
Thing
Play this card in the middle of the table; it is neutral. When this card is played, each player puts X Things they control on it. When Dot Com Bubble is destroyed, all the Things on it are destroyed too. If, after 5 turns, Dot Com Bubble isn't destroyed, each player draws 2X cards and Dot Com Bubble is destroyed, but the Things on it are returned to their controllers.
Card by Corrigan
Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
Thing
Action: Destroy all Portal tokens, then put a Portal token into play under any player's control. Action: Give control of a Thing you control to a player who controls a Portal token. Destroy a Thing that they control.
Card by Kevan
Weighted Companion Cube
Thing
Play into the control of an opponent. At the end of each of their turns, they must reveal their hand; if they had a card that could have been played to destroy the Cube, they lose the game.
Card by Kevan
Ditto
Thing - Pokemon
You may consider this cards creator to be the same as the creator of a chosen card on the table.
Card by Kyevan
Attachment
Thing
You may play this on an opponent.
Whenever your hand is not touching your hand, hand a card from your hand to your hand. I mean opponent.
Card by Zaratustra
Knight of Autumn
Thing
Action: Roll a 6-sided die and destroy target Thing if it is not red, yellow or orange on a roll of 5 or lower.
Card by Corrigan
December's Guardian
Thing
Action: Roll a 6-sided die and destroy target Thing if it is not blue, purple or black on a roll of 5 or lower.
Card by Corrigan
Corduroy Warrior
Thing
Only a player wearing an article of clothing with corduroy on it can control this card.
Action: Destroy a Thing controlled by a player not wearing an article of clothing with corduroy on it.
"Remember the Seventies!"
Card by Corrigan
sudo rm -rf /
Action
One opponent of your choice must think of a reasonably common English word. If you can guess this word within three tries, all Things are destroyed, all hands are discarded, and everyone draws a new hand.
I told you password was a bad password!
Card by Kyevan
Card That Seems Useless But Could Rock in the Right Situation
Thing
On all cards other than this one, replace 'destroy a Thing' with 'destroy a Thing controlled by an opponent'.
It seems arbitrary, I know, but it could devastate your opponents in a combo. That's what these kinds of cards are for.
Card by Corrigan
"Butler!"
Action
Look at the top X cards in the draw pile, where X is the number of players. Give each player a card for their hand, with you deciding which one for each player.
I could have made it a Thing, but I feel like I should add more Actions.
Card by Corrigan
Nathan Explosion
Thing
While you control this card, you must speak in a deep, gravelly and menacing voice. If you don't, destroy Nathan Explosion. Whenever one of your organisms is destroyed, draw a card. Your hand size is 5+X, where X is the number of black Things you control.
Action: Destroy target non-black organism.
Card by Corrigan
Booby Trap
Action
Play in response to a Thing being destroyed, if you played that Thing during your last turn. It stays in play, and you may destroy up to four Things instead.
Card by Kevan
There Can Be Only One
Thing
If two or more copies of this Thing are ever in play, all players with a copy of this thing lose.
Card by Kyevan
Zombie With a Chainsaw
Thing
Each turn, flip a coin. If it comes up heads, destroy a random living Thing (this Thing is not living). If it comes up tails, destroy Zombie With a Chainsaw. These do not count as Actions.
Card by Corrigan
C3
Orange Juice
Thing
Action: Destroy Orange Juice and look through the draw pile until you find a card with the letter C in its cornervalue or you have looked through 30 cards. If you find a card with a C in its cornervalue, put it in your hand.
Card by Corrigan


Myphenitic Energies
Thing
You may destroy this card at any time in order to add 1 to any number (in words or figures) on any card in play for the rest of the turn. That includes Actions.
Card by Depressi
"Things just happen, dammit!!!"
Thing
While this card is in play, no cards with the words "cosmos" or "universe" in them have any effect, and no-one can look through the deck for any reason.
Card by Depressi
"Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a ____!"
Action
Select any number of tokens under your control. Destroy them, and replace them with that many doctor tokens.
Sickbay on the NCC-1701. A place to avoid, if you have a red shirt.
Card by Kyevan
1-up
Action
Play this card when you would be eliminated. Destroy one hundred tokens or Things to stay in the game
Mario not-a die that easy!
Card by Kyevan
Mana Fount
Thing
For all non-victory purposes, all players are assumed to have an infinite amount of Mana Tokens.
Card by Depressi
Nixie
Thing-Uninteresting Person
Nixie may not be destroyed unless you have no other Things in play. Action: Have any two of your opponents switch hands. If you only have one opponent, draw a card instead.
Card by Depressi
[The Democracy Card]
Thing
This card's title, colour and text are decided by majority vote once it comes into play. Once this card has had its title, colour and text decided, it comes under the control of a random player.
Card by Corrigan
Under-Secretary's Second Assistant
Thing
Action: Look at the bottom card in the draw pile. If it is an Action, has a name that is fewer than 6 syllables and it is red, put it into your hand. Otherwise, shuffle the draw pile. You can only use this ability once every third turn of yours.
I don't even know what I do.
Card by Corrigan
Hypnosis
Action
A chosen opponent discards a card at random.
Card by Kevan
Furnace
Thing
Action: Remove all cards in the discard pile from the game.
Card by Kevan
Destroy Everything
Action
Remove all cards in play, in the discard pile, in the draw pile, in players hands, or in any other location from play. This card may only be played for this effect when it is February 29th, it is the last card in the players hand, and it is raining in Tokyo. In all other situations, this card reads: "Draw a card."
Card by Kyevan
Codpiece
Thing - Supervillain
Action: Fire crotch-based laser - Destroy a Thing.
Why, God, why did you let this exist!?
Card by Kyevan
The Orb
Thing
When The Orb would be destroyed by a Thing, destroy the Thing instead. When The Orb would be destroyed by an Action, ignore the Action. Your hand size is 3.
Action: Erase target Thing's Action ability.
Action: Draw 2 cards.
It is The Orb.
Card by Corrigan
Monastic Lessons
Thing
Draw a card at the end of each turn of yours where you did not speak.
"I'm glad to see we've moved on past the duct tape."
Card by Corrigan
Might Makes Right
Action
Arm-wrestle target player. The winner draws 3 cards.
Card by Corrigan
TFG: Transformation Gun
Thing
Action: Target living thing becomes male if female, and female if male or unknown.
"Quite disturbing, seeing one's son like that." -- Mr. Verres, El Goonish Shive, 2003-01-27
Card by Kyevan
Dewitchery Diamond
Thing
Action: Target living thing which has become altered in form is cloned, one clone having the altered form and the other reverting to normal.
"Put down the newspaper, dear." -- Mrs. Dunkle, El Goonish Shive, 2003-02-06
Card by Kyevan
Brick
Thing
This card represents a brick.
Card by Corrigan
Target Thing
Thing
Whenever the words 'target Thing' appear, it automatically applies to Target Thing.
Card by Corrigan
A Random Thing
Thing
Whenever a card's text includes the words 'a random Thing', it automatically applies to A Random Thing.
Card by Corrigan
The Element of Surprise
Thing
Action: Starting with you, each player draws a card and either plays it immediately or discards it.
Card by Kevan
Clearing the Air
Action
Starting with you, each player plays a card from their hand, if they have one, or discards a card. Repeat until every player's hand is empty.
Card by Kevan
Spiked Ceiling
Thing
As this comes into play, each player may discard any number of cards. If a player ever has five cards in their hand, they are immediately eliminated.
Card by Kevan
Counterproductivity
Thing
Whenever a player plays a card, they must also discard a card from their hand. Whenever a player would draw a card, they discard that many cards instead.
Card by Corrigan
What They Mean
Thing
All Money tokens have 'Action: Destroy X Money tokens and gain control of X÷2 Things'.
Card by Corrigan
Razorblade Candy
Action
Draw any number of cards and destroy twice that many Things you control.
Card by Corrigan
Full Steam Ahead
Thing
Action: Destroy five Things you control, to take another turn after this one.
Card by Kevan
Shadow Detachment
Action
Each player puts one Shadow token into play for every non-Token Thing they control.
Card by Kevan
Hell
Thing
When a card would go to the discard pile, you may instead remove it from the game.
Card by Kevan
Heaven
Thing
When a card would be removed from the game, you may instead send it to the discard pile. This can not negate the effects of Hell, nor can Hell negate these effects.
With apology to Kevan....
Card by Kyevan
Poison
Thing
You may give Poison to any Player when you play it.

At the start of your turn, put a counter on Poison.
If Poison ever has 6 or more counters on it, you lose.
Card by Bucky
The Mute Button
Thing
Action: Target player cannot speak until the beginning of your next turn.
You're really getting annoying.
Card by Corrigan
Guilt
Thing
Whenever a player destroys a Thing belonging to another player or causes another player to discard cards from their hand, they gain a Guilt token. Whenever a player has 4 Guilt tokens, they are eliminated from the game.
Action: Give control of a Thing you control to another player and destroy a Guilt token you control.
Card by Corrigan
Put All of Your Eggs in One Basket
Action
Draw X cards and skip your next X turns.
Card by Corrigan
Fake Ending
Thing
If a player would win the game, instead destroy this card and continue playing.
Card by Kevan
Facebook Viral
Action
Target opponent with a Facebook account must update their status to "is losing at Dvorak" and discard a card, or otherwise discard their hand.
Card by Kevan
Bonfire of the Vanities
Action
Each player secretly chooses a number of cards to discard. All players then discard that number of cards - if one player discarded more cards than all other players, they may draw three cards.
Card by Kevan
Zebra
Thing
If you control copies of this card, none of them can be destroyed. This card is white in addition to being black.
Card by Corrigan
Reality and Whatever
Thing
Things can only destroy Things that they would be capable of physically destroying in real life. Abstract Things cannot destroy tangible Things and vice-versa. All abstract Things are considered capable of destroying one another.
Card by Corrigan
AAAAAGH!
Action
Panic panic panic panic panic! Play all the cards in your hand! No time to draw for the next five turns! Aaagh! You have to screeeeam to do this!
Card by Corrigan
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