Unplayable Dvorak deck

The Unplayable Dvorak Deck
Designer	Everyone
Date	November 2007 and onwards
Players	2+
Although this is an unfinished deck, it is still playable.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
Print this deck Generate MUSHcode Generate Lackey export
This deck is under construction. Anyone is welcome to contribute - check the talk page to find out more.

The Unplayable Dvorak Deck follows the same rules of the Infinite Dvorak deck, with one new special rule:

If a player successfuly plays any card of the Unplayable Dvorak deck and fulfills all of its commands (in a Thing's case, until the end of the turn), they win the game and the card is removed from the deck archive.

Card list

Overkill

Action

Draw 999 cards.

Card by Zaratustra

Playing With a Full Deck

Thing

If you control a Heart, a Diamond, a Spade, and a Club, you win the game.

Card by jtwe (Infinite Dvorak deck)

A Little More Conversation

Action

Destroy an Action.

Card by Zaratustra

Coming up short

Action

Discard a number of cards equal to one plus the number of cards in your hand.

Card by Bucky

Silence

Thing

No cards may be played on the turn this enters play.

Card by Bucky

Echo

Action

Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your previous turn.

Card by Bucky

The Ultimate Pick-Up Line

Thing

Lick your eyebrows when this comes into play.

Card by Zaratustra

Oche

Action

Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your next turn.

Card by Zaratustra

Misfire

Action

Negate this Action.

Card by Bucky

Game Over

Action

You may not play this card if playing it would cause any player to win the game. You are eliminated.

Card by Gimlear

Jordan

Thing

Forget it. I don't care if you're a guitar hero or not, you can't play Jordan.

---

YgGygygygGrybob

Card by ChippyYYZ

Mjolnir, Hammer of Thor

Thing

If this card leaves your hand, put it back in your hand. If this card is in play at the end of your turn, you win.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Secret Word

Action

You must say the secret word when you play this.

---

No, I'm not going to tell what the secret word is.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Double Trouble

Action

Play another card called Double Trouble.

Card by ChippyYYZ

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Action

Shuffle the draw pile into the discard pile and draw a card.

Card by Binarius

Golden Fiddle

Thing

You must win a game of Dvorak against the Devil in order to play this card.

Card by ChippyYYZ

The Playable Card

Action

All special rules are repealed while playing this card.

Card by ChippyYYZ

AWOL

absent

Remove this card from the deck before beginning the game.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Fuse

Action

Draw a card and play it immediately.

Card by Binarius

Wand of Summon Monster

Action

Search the draw pile for a Monster card and put it into play. Then shuffle the draw pile.

Card by Binarius

Fishing Rod

Action

Gain control of a fish.

Card by Binarius

Ravenous Spawn of the Outer Planes

Thing-Monster

When you play this, put a Thing belonging to another player face-down under it.

Card by Bucky

über-brkeqn qr@d v dtbphkngjl

Action

Say the name of this card as you play it. You must pronounce it correctly.

Card by Bucky

Loophole Man

Thing

Cannot be played. Discard this card from your hand to look at another player's hand and force them to discard any one card.

Card by Bucky

Fizz

Action

Discard a card and play it immediately.

Card by Binarius

Refuse

Action/Thing

As an Action: No matter what, don't play any cards this turn. As a Thing: This card does not belong on the table. Put it in the discard pile.

Card by Binarius

Noteworthy

Action

Compose and record a hit song about Dvorak. You may choose its genre, but it must appear on the Billboard Hot 100 or the UK Singles Chart.

Card by Binarius

Victory Lap

Thing

Play this only in response to winning the game.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Print Wikipedia

Action

Destroy a rainforest and put an unholy number of Wikipedia Article Tokens into play.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Warning: Critical Mass

Thing

When this enters play, type:
loadcard Error/A/Error
164 times. Then shuffle the deck.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Because

Special

This card is neither an Action nor a Thing.

Card by Bucky

Taste the Infinite

Action

Put this card on top of the draw pile, then draw a card and immediately play it if possible.

Card by Bucky

Cheshire Cat

Thing

If Cheshire Cat is ever in your hand, reveal it to all players, draw a card and then put Cheshire Cat on the bottom of the draw pile.

Card by Bucky

Ultimate Weapon

Thing

Every turn, including the turn this card enters play, destroy a Thing and eliminate its controller.

Card by Binarius

Wanton Destruction

Action

Discard a token, eliminate a Thing, and destroy an opponent.

Card by Binarius

Consolation Prize

Thing

Play this card into your control after you have been eliminated.

Card by Binarius

Foreshadow

Action

Reveal an Action from your hand. Play this as a copy of the revealed Action.

Card by Bucky

Time Block

Thing

You cannot end your turns. You may take any number of extra Actions each turn.

Card by Bucky

White Flag

Thing

You cannot win the game while White Flag is in play.

Card by Bucky

Chuck Norris's Secret Weakness

Type

This card is a figment of your imagination and doesn't exist.

You may think you're reading it now, but trust me, there is no card here.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Void Cannon

Thing

You may only play this card if you have no cards in your hand.
Eliminate a player.

Card by ChippyYYZ

1337

1337 5P34K1N6

1337

PWN 74R637 N008. 411 Y0UR 8453 R 8310N6 2 U5.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Out Of Order

Thing

For some reason that lies just outside of your ability to comprehend, you can't play this card. Sorry.

Card by ChippyYYZ

The Spanish Inquisition

Thing

Play only in response to "I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition."

Card by ChippyYYZ

"I Wasn't Expecting The Spanish Inquistion"

Action

Play only in response to The Spanish Inquisition.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Broken Record

Action

Gain a Music token and play this card again.

Card by Bucky

Copyright Abuse

Thing

For the purpose of interpreting Special Rules only, 'Play' really means 'Create'.

---

Unless you are Bucky, you have not played this card.

Card by Bucky

Free Win

Action

Win the game, then remove Free Win from the deck archive.

---

Works exactly as intended

Card by Bucky

Everybody Likes Them

Thing

Only cards which mention puppies may be played.

Card by Chinkeeyong

The Curse of Epimenides

Action

When you play this card, don't do what it says.

Card by Binarius

I Don't Feel Tardy

Action

Draw an additional card at the beginning of your previous turn.

Card by jtwe

THREE OF CLUBS

action

Draw the 3 of clubs from the deck if it is not in the deck.

Card by garythesnail

You are the weakest link, goodbye.

action

Get voted off, then leave. Goodbye. You lose.

---

Kevan, Kevan, Kevan, Bucky, Kevan. Kevan, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Card by garythesnail

Robot Torso

Thing

You can't play Robot Torso unless you already control Robot Legs.

Card by Corrigan

Ambiguous Research

Action

Draw a few cards (you must draw exactly a few).

Card by Corrigan

Option Overload

Action

Perform four different actions from the following list:
*Draw a card
*Return a nonliving Thing to its controller's hand
*Gain a number of Energy Tokens equal to the number of cards in the discard pile.

Card by Bucky

Bogu's Boon

Action

Choose the second option OR choose the third option OR (option not available).

Card by Bucky

Die!

Action

Roll a 39-sided die and destroy exactly that many Things.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Hovercraft

Thing

Hovercraft may not touch any surface.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Open Palm

Action

Discard your hand. Play any card from your hand.

Card by ChippyYYZ

Logical Paradox

Action

You may play Logical Paradox at any time it isn't legal to play it, and at no other time.

Card by Bucky

The Wild One

Thing

The Wild One cannot be controlled!

Card by Bucky

Where'd Everyone Go?

Action

Shuffle this card back into the draw pile immediately when it is drawn if there are any players left in the game.

Card by Binarius

Corner the Market

Action

Destroy target cornervalue. (leave the rest of the card unharmed.)

Card by ChippyYYZ

Totally Worth It

Action

Give Bucky $2000 (US dollars, cash only).

Card by Bucky

Discard Happy

Thing

Discard a token from your hand and a Thing card from Up Your Sleeve each turn.

When you discard this card from your hand, create a token of any type under target player's control.

Card by Bucky

Static Cling

Thing

When you play this card, it immediately returns to your hand.

Card by Binarius

ƕ

Transdimensional Buffet

Action

Draw this card.

Card by Binarius

B_s

CP Violation

Action

Draw -10 cards.

Card by Binarius

Extremely Delicate China

Thing

If this card touches anything except the drawing deck, immediately destroy it.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

False Hope

Action

You immediately lose the game if you play this.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

You bastard!

Action

Make another player play a card, ignoring anything that could stop this. Put this back into your hand.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

World's Greatest Ventriloquist

Action

Activate an Action ability of an opponent's Thing as if you controlled it.

Card by Binarius

Red Rover

Thing

When you play this card, gain control of target Thing and put this card into its original controller's hand.

Card by Binarius

Hacky Sack

Thing

When you gain control of Hacky Sack, put it into the control of target opponent.

Card by Binarius

Underkill

Action

Draw -999 cards.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Frost around the clock

Thing

No one can win while this is in play. Everyone can play out of turn, drawing a card per card they play.

---

Might as well make some use out of this deck

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Visions of the Future

Action

View the entire deck, and all other people's cards, and the entire discard pile.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

0U

Blatant Cheating

Action

Put your hand on top of the deck, then put five cards from Up Your Sleeve into your hand.

Card by Bucky

Cornervalue Certification

Thing

All your non-token Things must have cornervalues; you lose your certification if any do not.

Card by Bucky

0o

Pocket Mouse

Thing

If anyone looks at Pocket Mouse, it runs Up Your Sleeve.

Card by Bucky

6A

A Call to Action

Action

Reveal an Action from your hand. Each opponent does the same, or reveals their hand to show that they have none. You may exchange your Action with one revealed by an opponent. Then each player plays their Action in the order of your choice.

Card by Binarius

3G

Get

Action

Gain control of target Thing.

Card by Binarius

9E

In English Please, Professor?

Thing

Cards with words longer than ten letters in their titles or ruletexts may not be played. Return any such Thing in play to its controller's hand.

Card by Binarius

x.x

Massacre

Action

Eliminate everyone, then shuffle all the cards into the deck.

Card by Bucky

0Z

Perfect Recursion

Action

All players play another game of Dvorak using the remaining draw pile. Eliminate yourself unless you win that game. Shuffle the deck afterwards.

Card by Bucky

2c

Short Handed

Thing

Your true hand limit is 2; you can't have more than two cards in hand at any time.

Card by Bucky

Insane New Dance Move

Action

Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards.

Card by Binarius

Cantor's Inverse Dimensionality Lemma

Action - Math Problem

Let Γ be an isotropic tangent space of ℝⁿ at ζ and Ξ be a piecewise sesqui­linear transformation. Prove that there exists a relation f^-1 of ζ such that we can con­struct a connected polytope in the p-adics diffeomorphic to H²(ℂ, ℚ_p).
(Hint: Suppose σ is a Euclidean sub­space of ℚ_pⁿ and ψ is an antisymmetric mapping.)

Card by Binarius

"No, not that one."

Reaction

When you draw this card, you must immediately read its title aloud, draw another card, and put this card on top of the draw pile.

Card by Binarius

7c

Very Long Handed

Thing

Your minimum hand size is 7; you can't have fewer than seven cards in hand at any time.

Card by Bucky

Cut the Middlemen

Action

Play the top card of the deck without removing it from the deck. Then put it in the discard pile.

Card by Bucky

1Z

Card-Carrying Zombie

Thing

This dies right after you play it.

While this is the top Thing card of the discard pile, anyone may use its Action ability.

Action: Draw a card, then discard a card.

Card by Bucky

Midnight

Action

If this is not played on January 1st, 2021 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Get With the Times

Action

Shuffle this card into the draw pile when you draw it if it is not the most recent addition to the Unplayable Dvorak deck.

Card by Binarius

Metaphysical Brick

Thing

This card is considered to be in your hand and not in play.

Card by Binarius

Perchance to Dream

Action

End the game with no winner. Immediately begin a new game with all players holding the same cards they held before the beginning of your current turn.

Card by Binarius

Literal Brick

Thing

When you draw this card, remove it from the game and pause said game until you find a brick. That brick is now in your hand.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Midnight

Action

If this is not played on January 1st, 2022 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

My Vocabulary Is Truly Impressive

Action

For each of the next ten thousand cards you draw, when you draw it, create a token with a type that's a one-word common noun that hasn't been used as a token type yet this game.

Until you're done, you may not consult any dictionaries or thesauri.

Card by Bucky

Rewind

Action

Restore the game to the state it was in at the start of the turn; everything since then never happened (including playing this).

Card by Bucky

The Spanish Inquisition

Thing

Nobody can win or lose the game while The Spanish Inquisition is in play. Action: Reveal your hand, destroy this, and lose the game if you have any black cards in hand.

Card by Bucky

Execution

Thing

If you can get one of your fellow players to be formerly executed in any fashion, then you win. Until then, you have not yet won.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Grandfather Paradox

Action

Restore the Unplayable Dvorak deck to the state it was in before this card was added.

Card by Binarius

No

Action

If anyone is about to play a card. you can instead play this card to win.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

1X

Creative Example

Pseudoaction

Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Discard up to three cards, then draw that many cards plus one.

Card by Bucky

2X

Destructive Example

Pseudothing

Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Action:Discard a Thing card to destroy a Thing or Pseudothing

Card by Bucky

3X

Hypocrisy

Pseudothing

Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Where cards other than this one try to exempt themselves from Special Rules, they fail to do so.

Card by Bucky

Gabriel's Card

Action

Cut this card in half. Cut one of the new halves in half. Repeat this forever. If you are unable to, you do not win.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

No RNG Allowed

Reaction

Play while an opponent is shuffling the deck to prevent the shuffle. Revert the deck's order to what it was before being shuffled. You can't do anything at random for the rest of the turn.

Card by Bucky

Sisyphean Effort

Action

Gain control of target Thing. Return control of it at the beginning of your next turn.

You must play this card an additional time to win with it.

Card by ChippyYYZ

4F

Jump the Gun

Reaction

Play before the game starts (after choosing this deck of cards but before shuffling it). Take a turn, then shuffle your hand into the deck.

Card by Bucky

Low Budget Looter

Thing

At the end of your turn, draw a card and discard half a card.

Card by Bucky

Stop the Clocks

Thing

Your turn does not end for the rest of your turn. You may draw any number of cards and play any number of things during your turn. If you play a thing this way, you may choose to ignore its' text.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Barren Victory

Pseudothing

Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

If you control no other things and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Action+Thing: Discard 1 card.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Counterfeit Currency

Pseudoaction

Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.
Create 5 Money Pseudotokens. (Pseudotokens are tokens with "This doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules")

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Faster This Way

Action

Discard your hand, put the discard pile on top of the draw pile, turn the draw pile face-up, and play every card in order.

Card by Binarius

Danger Music

Action

Throw the deck into a lit fireplace.

Card by Binarius

瓹馞鴸霱

綕堀

燿莾傈㯾鞃鉥皽、欸鱃苉、緩柵䧐蹤癠䉑勂，畓髽椡櫹䝱龠䕘陟觖蓳鰓䟮馺坁。颵䶑䌌磞擥㠓。

磋㦒蒄栲夻鉴㙹穏靕鮛嵶㨕畜贄谼䩞䌀鼙。

Card by Binarius

Decision of the Council

Thing

While you control this, any player may choose to destroy it.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Many Bottles of Beer

Pseudothing

Place 99 Bottle counters on this card. At the beginning of a player's turn, they gain control of Many Bottles of Beer, then remove a bottle counter from it. Then, if there are no more bottle counters on it, they win the game.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Copper Angel

Artifact Thing

You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.

---

In its heart lies the secret of mortality.

Card by JakeTheWolfie

Kingmaker

Action

Discard a card. The players with the most cards in hand win the game.

Card by Binarius

Project Into the Past

Action

If fewer than zero cards have been played this game, shuffle all cards together, deal five cards to each player, and start the game. Otherwise, this counts as -1 card for the purpose of counting cards played. As such, the discard pile rejects it: return it to your hand and play an Action.

Card by Binarius

Future Horizon

Thing

If a player would win the game, they instead either draw ten cards, return a Thing they control to their hand, and play a Thing or are eliminated.

Card by Binarius

Removed Cards

These cards used to be in the deck archive, before someone used them to win a game.