The Most Unwanted Song deck

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The Most Unwanted Song deck
Designer Binarius
Date 17/11/2019
Players 2+
This is an untested deck. Its cards are complete, but it hasn't yet been tested.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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This deck is locked. Further cards should not be added - leave feedback on the talk page.

A tribute to that inimitable opus of Komar & Melamid and Dave Soldier with lyrics by Nina Mankin, "The Most Unwanted Song", with apologies to ChippyYYZ's The Devil Went Down to Georgia deck.

Special Rule

Whenever an Instrument is played, any player who does not control an Instrument must discard a card.


Card List

Harp
Thing - Instrument
Whenever your hand is empty at the end of your turn, you may draw a card and return Harp to your hand.
Accordion
Thing - Instrument
With Piccolo, Action: Discard a card. Target opponent discards a card.
Harmonica
Thing - Instrument
With Accordion: Draw a card whenever you draw and reveal a rap lyric.
Tuba
Thing - Instrument
Tuba counts as an additional Instrument for every two other Instruments you control.
I'm Ropin' Up My Saddle for the Long, Long Ride
Action (Rap)
Search the draw pile for an Instrument and put it into play.
Every Time I See the Desert
Thing (Rap)
Draw a card whenever you play a rap lyric.
There's Something Inside
Action (Rap)
Target opponent gives you a card.
Yo! Yo! This Is the Life
Action (Rap)
Draw two cards and play one of them.
Give Me Open Land
Action (Rap)
Draw three cards.
A Big Ol' Knife
Thing (Rap)
Action: Destroy a Thing and return this card to your hand.
Get Some Bear, Deer, Even a Snake
Action (Rap)
Take a random card from target opponent's hand.
I Light Me a Fire
Action (Rap)
Gain control of target Instrument, Holiday, and Issue.
Do the Shake and Bake
Action (Rap)
Destroy target Thing. Its controller may draw a card. You may draw a card.
Yo! Yo! I'm A Cowboy Now
Action (Rap)
Draw a card for each rap lyric you reveal from your hand.
The Sun Is Hot and Dry
Action (Rap)
Opponents must discard a card.
Gonna Rope Me a Cow
Action (Rap)
Gain control of target Thing.
Yo! Yo! I'm Loose and Free
Action (Rap)
Play two Actions.
Whoa There Nelly, You're the Horse for Me!
Action (Rap)
Put the topmost Thing in the discard pile into your hand.
Rope 'Em Up Boys
Action
Gain control of target Thing.
The Desert Is a-Callin'
Action
Count each player's rap lyrics in hand, including this card and adding 1 each if they control Harmonica or Yahoo, Yahoo, Yahoo. The player(s) with the highest total may draw a card; everyone else discards a card.
Yahoo, Yahoo, Yahoo
Thing
When one of your Things would be destroyed, you may destroy Yahoo, Yahoo, Yahoo instead.
Saddle Up Fellas
Action
Each player may return one of their Things to their hand. Those who do may draw a card.
The Desert Is a-Callin'
Action
Count each player's rap lyrics in hand, including this card and adding 1 each if they control Harmonica or Yahoo, Yahoo, Yahoo. The player(s) with the highest total may draw a card; everyone else discards a card.
Yahoo, Yahoo, Yahoo
Thing
When one of your Things would be destroyed, you may destroy Yahoo, Yahoo, Yahoo instead.
Bagpipe
Thing - Instrument
With Tuba: You may discard a card to negate the effects of any Action played by an opponent with fewer cards in hand than you.
Piccolo
Thing - Instrument
With Bagpipe, Action: Return Piccolo to your hand. Target opponent discards a card.
Banjo
Thing - Instrument
With Tuba: All opponents must discard a card whenever you gain control of an Instrument.
With Piccolo: An opponent must discard a card whenever they destroy one of your Things.
Hey Everybody, It's Christmas Time!
Action
Draw a number of cards equal to the number of players, and give one to each.
Christmas Time!
Thing - Holiday
Jesus, Mary, and the manger! Christmas time, family time!
Do All Your Shopping at Wal-Mart!
Action
If you control four or more Holidays and no other Holidays are in play, you win. Otherwise, gain control of target Holiday.
Easter Time!
Thing - Holiday
Love, forgiveness, and the bunnies! Easter time, chocolate time!
Go! Go!
Action
Take another turn.
Go! Go!
Action
Take another turn.
Go! Go!
Action
Take another turn.
Go! Go!
Action
Take another turn.
Out on the Plains, Just Me and My Mind
Action (Rap)
Draw until you have five cards.
Took Me a Break to Read Some Wittgenstein
Action (Rap)
If you have not played any cards this turn, search the deck for the Tractatus and put it into play, draw a card, and end your turn.
Born in Vienna in '89
Action (Rap)
Search the deck for the Tractatus and put it into your hand.
Obsessed with Theories of Language and Time
Thing (Rap)
Once per turn, you may draw a card if your hand is empty. If you control the Tractatus, draw an extra card at the start of your turn.
Tractatus
Thing (Rap)
No player may win the game. The Tractatus is indestructible if you control Bedeutung ist Tun, Es ist ein Sprachspiel, Wörter sind Inhalt, or Pipe Organ.
Ludwig Would Claim
Action (Rap)
If you control the Tractatus, take another turn. Otherwise, gain control of the Tractatus if it is in play.
The Logic of Our Language Is Misunderstood
Action (Rap)
Return every Issue to its controller's hand.
Philosophy Is Based on a False Pretense
Action (Rap)
Opponents may not play Things during their next turn.
Philosophy Itself Is Nonsense!
Thing (Rap)
Action: Destroy target Issue.
Pipe Organ
Thing - Instrument
Action: Return an Instrument to its controller's hand.
Bedeutung ist Tun
Thing
Meaning is use. When you play this, target player discards all of the Things in their hand.
Es ist ein Sprachspiel
Thing
It's a language game. Action: Until this card leaves play or the next time you use this ability, target Thing is considered blank.
Nonsense! Nonsense!
Reaction
Discard immediately in response to an opponent's Action to negate its effects.
Wörter sind Inhalt
Thing
Words are content. When you play this card, destroy every Thing with no ruletext.
Jawohl! Jawohl!
Action
Put the topmost Action in the discard pile into your hand.
Yom Kippur!
Thing - Holiday
Self-reflection and atonement! Yom Kippur, that's what for!
Feel the Embers Glowing and a Turkey in the Oven
Action
Draw a card for each of your Issues.
Hear the Children Singing, There's a Turkey in the Oven
Action
Draw a card for each of your Instruments.
Candles Are So Pretty and a Turkey in the Oven
Action
Draw a card for each of your Holidays.
Do All Your Shopping at Wal-Mart!
Action
If you control four or more Holidays and no other Holidays are in play, you win. Otherwise, gain control of target Holiday.
Ramadan!
Thing - Holiday
Lots of praying with no breakfast! Ramadan, so much fun!
Home, Home on the Big Ol' Range
Thing (Rap)
Your maximum hand size is increased by one.
Yippee Tai Yo, Get Along There, Stranger
Action (Rap)
Play every card in your hand.
Rope 'Em, Ride 'Em
Thing (Rap)
Action: Gain control of target Thing and return this card to your hand.
Shoot 'Em Up Good
Action (Rap)
Destroy target Thing.
We're Big and Bad in the Cowboy 'Hood
Action (Rap)
Opponents may not play Actions during their next turn.
Yo! Yo! Got a River to Ford
Action (Rap)
Return any number of your Things to your hand and draw a card for each.
With a Life Like This, I'll Never Be Bored
Action (Rap)
Discard your hand and draw five cards.
Yo! Yo! I'm Wild and Free
Action (Rap)
Play two Actions.
Whoa Miss Kitty, You're the Gal for Me!
Action (Rap)
Put the topmost Thing in the discard pile into your hand.
Labor Day!
Thing - Holiday
Schools are closed and pools are open! Labor Day, all the way!
Grandma's on the Phone, Go and Tell Her That You Love Her!
Action
Draw two cards and give one of them to an opponent.
Daddy's on the Phone, Go and Tell Him That You Love Him!
Action
Draw two cards and give one of them to an opponent.
Sister's on the Phone, Go and Tell Her That You Love Her!
Action
Draw two cards and give one of them to an opponent.
Do All Your Shopping at Wal-Mart!
Action
If you control four or more Holidays and no other Holidays are in play, you win. Otherwise, gain control of target Holiday.
Veterans Day!
Thing - Holiday
Big parade with guns and soldiers! Veterans Day, what's there to say?
Halloween!
Thing - Holiday
Candy corn for lunch and dinner! Halloween, what a scream!
Look Out There
Action (Rap)
Look at the top three cards of the draw pile.
It's an Injun Band
Action (Rap)
Target opponent destroys three of their Things, minus one for each rap lyric they reveal from their hand.
Coming This Way
Reaction (Rap)
Discard immediately in response when an opponent plays a Thing to take control of it.
Gonna Fight for My Land
Thing (Rap)
Whenever an opponent destroys one of your Things, they must discard a card.
Hometown Grocery Store
Thing (Rap)
Action: Reveal the top card of the draw pile and put it into your hand if it is a Thing.
American Cheese Worth Fighting For
Thing (Rap)
At the end of your turn, you may search the draw pile for an Instrument, Holiday, or Issue and put it into play if you control no Things of that type.
Dry Gulch
Thing (Rap)
Play this card into an opponent's control. Your maximum hand size is decreased by one.
O.K. Corral
Action (Rap)
Target opponent may not play an Action during their next turn.
Holiday Spot for You and Your Gal
Thing (Rap)
Thing and Action: Draw a card.
Get Some Cool Shit and Desert Rays
Action (Rap)
Discard any number of cards and draw the same number.
Cowboy Livin' the American Way
Action (Rap)
If you control Harmonica, A Big Ol' Knife, and American Cheese Worth Fighting For, you win. Otherwise, search the draw pile for one of the above and put it into your hand.
It's Cowboy Livin'
Action (Rap)
All the way! Any opponent with a Go! Go! card must give it to you. If you receive none, draw a card.
It's Cowboy Livin'
Action (Rap)
All the way! Any opponent with a Go! Go! card must give it to you. If you receive none, draw a card.
Megaphone
Thing - Instrument
For the purpose of cards that count Issues, yours count double.
People! Coming Together!
Thing - Issue
Out of a desire to obtain political power! When you play this, each player with an Issue may draw a card, or two if they also have Megaphone.
Vice Presidential Candidate!
Thing - Issue
27 Electoral Votes!
Thing - Issue
Central Policy Issues!
Thing - Issue
Two Party System!
Thing - Issue
Struggle!
Thing - Issue
When you play this, every player may destroy a Thing.
Gain Control of the Government!
Thing - Issue
Executive Branch! Military Branch!
Thing - Issue
Foreign Affairs! Influence Policy!
Thing - Issue
Promote Ideology!
Thing - Issue
Fascism! You may not play Actions other than the following. Action: Destroy target Holiday or Issue.
Promote Individual Interests!
Thing - Issue
George Stephanopoulous, Imelda Marcos! When you play this, each opponent must give you a card.
Promote Special Interests!
Thing - Issue
Sugar, beef, bananas, lumber, pork bellies, pork barrels, Coca-Cola! When you play this, choose Instruments, Holidays, or Issues: for your chosen type, you may either gain control of target Thing of that type or draw a card for each Thing of that type under your control.
The Information Superhighway!
Thing - Issue
Action: Draw a card.
3000 Years of Oppression!
Thing - Issue
Opponents may not play cards during their next turn after you play this.
Who Enslaved People of Color?
Action - Issue
This counts toward your total number of Issues while it is in your hand. When you play this, look at target opponent's hand. If they have You Did! You! You! YOU!!!, they discard their hand and lose a turn.
Who Invaded the Caribbean?
Action - Issue
This counts toward your total number of Issues while it is in your hand. When you play this, look at target opponent's hand. If they have You Did! You! You! YOU!!!, they discard their hand and lose a turn.
Who Murdered All the Innocent Children?
Action - Issue
This counts toward your total number of Issues while it is in your hand. When you play this, look at target opponent's hand. If they have You Did! You! You! YOU!!!, they discard their hand and lose a turn.
You Did! You! You! YOU!!!
Thing
You may not play this card. Once per turn, you may reveal it from your hand to gain control of target Issue.
It May Be You,
It Could Be Me
Action
Look at target opponent's hand and take a card, then give them a card from your hand.
It's Not Enough
to Wait and See
Action
Look at the top three cards of the draw pile and arrange them in the order of your choice.
And When We All
Lock Arms and Sing
Action
Search the draw pile for an Instrument and put it into play. Each player who controls an instrument may draw a card.
Bells of Freedom
Ring Ding Ding!
Action
If you have more Instruments, more Holidays, and more Issues than any opponent, you win.