Kingdom of Loathing deck

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Kingdom of Loathing
Designers KillSmiley
Date 22 March 2007
Players 2-6
This is an untested deck. Its cards are complete, but it hasn't yet been tested.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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An adventurer is you! Complete quests, collect treasure and be the first player to defeat the dreaded Naughty Sorceress. Based on the popular MMO-ish browser-based game of the same name: http://www.kingdomofloathing.com.

Special Rules

Classes and the NS Quest

Remove the six class cards and the Naughty Sorceress Quest from the deck before playing. The Naughty Sorceress Quest is placed in the middle of the table; it cannot be destroyed and may be attempted by any eligible player. Each player selects a class to represent his/her adventurer. Class cards cannot be destroyed or traded away. Unused class cards should be set aside.

Equipment and Levels

Hats, weapons, pants and accessories are a type of Thing called Equipment. An adventurer can wear one hat, one pair of pants, one accessory and wield one weapon. The number in the corner is added to the adventurer's level for the purposes of overcoming Quests and Monsters. The adventurer begins at Level 1 and goes up in level after completing Quests and defeating powerful Monsters.

Quests, Complications and Monsters

An adventurer's primary lot in life is completing Quests. To complete a Quest, an adventurer's effective level must equal or exceed the difficulty rating (the number in the corner). An adventurer who completes a Quest gains a level, a quest mark and possibly other rewards. Other players may stymie the adventurer by playing Monsters and Complications; these cards may be played anytime and on any player, even one's self. If an adventurer fails to complete a Quest, it is usually discarded (exceptions are noted on the cards).

Trading

Once per round, a player may attempt a trade. The player may reveal any number of cards in hand. Any other player may offer to exchange cards in his/her hand or in play for any or all of the revealed cards. If both players agree to the trade, the cards are exchanged. Trading requires an Action to initiate for any player except an Accordion Thief.

Winning the Game

The first player to complete the Naughty Sorceress Quest wins the game.

Notes about the game

This game is totally untested and likely VERY unbalanced. The classes in particular are probably misbalanced. Suggestions are welcome.

More cards will likely be added in the future. There's a lot to cram into this deck, alas. I'll be adding cards in dribs and drabs as time allows.

Card List

Seal Clubber
Class
Muscle Class

Gains +2 in all PvP matchups.

You may discard a card at any time to gain +3 for a single Quest or Monster encounter.
Card by KillSmiley
Turtle Tamer
Class
Muscle Class

Gains an additional +1 if equipped with any hat.

Action: Discard a card to gain three buff tokens. As long as you have any buff tokens, you have +2. At the beginning of your turn, destroy a buff token if you have any.
Card by KillSmiley
Pastamancer
Class
Mysticality Class

You may discard a card at any time to gain +3 for a single Quest or Monster encounter.

Action: Discard a card. You may play an additional Thing this turn.
Card by KillSmiley
Sauceror
Class
Mysticality Class

Any Action card that gives you a temporary bonus gives you double that bonus instead.

Action: Discard a card to gain three buff tokens. As long as you have any buff tokens, you have +2. At the beginning of your turn, destroy a buff token if you have any.
Card by KillSmiley
Disco Bandit
Class
Moxie Class

If you play no Actions or Things on your turn, you may draw a card.

Action: Discard a card to draw a card at random from any player's hand.
Card by KillSmiley
Accordion Thief
Class
Moxie Class

You may declare a trade without using an Action.

Action: Discard a card to gain three buff tokens. As long as you have any buff tokens, you have +2. At the beginning of your turn, destroy a buff token if you have any.
Card by KillSmiley
20
Naughty Sorceress Quest
Thing-Quest
This Quest may be attempted by any adventurer at level 5 or higher with at least one of each of the following: beginner, intermediate and expert quest marks. Attempting the quest requires an Action. Reward: You win the game. Huzzah!
Card by KillSmiley
4
Explore the Spooky Forest
Action-Quest
If your effective level is high enough to complete this quest, flip a coin and call it. If you lose the flip, you fail this quest anyway. Return it to your hand instead of discarding it. Reward: Go up a level and gain a beginner quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
6
Clear Out the Typical Tavern Cellar
Action-Quest
Reward: Go up a level and gain a beginner quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
5
Slay the Boss Bat
Action-Quest
You must complete this quest twice in a row to earn the reward. Reward: Go up a level and gain a beginner quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
10
The King of Cobb's Knob
Action-Quest
You must have a beginner quest mark to attempt this quest. Reward: Go up a level and gain an intermediate quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
9
The Copse of the Deep Fat Friars
Action-Quest
If your effective level is high enough to complete this quest, flip a coin and call it. If you lose the flip, you fail this quest anyway. Return it to your hand instead of discarding it. Reward: Go up a level and gain an intermediate quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
11
Undefile the Cyrpt
Action-Quest
Reward: Go up a level, draw a card and gain an intermediate quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
13
Climb Mt. McLargeHuge
Action-Quest
You must complete this quest twice in a row to earn the reward. Reward: Go up a level and gain an expert quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
13
Aid The Baron Rof L'm Fao
Action-Quest
You must discard a card to attempt this quest. Reward: Go up a level, draw a card and gain an expert quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
14
The Falling Trash Mystery
Action-Quest
If your effective level is high enough to complete this quest, flip a coin and call it. If you lose the flip, you fail this quest anyway. Return it to your hand instead of discarding it. Reward: Go up a level, draw two cards and gain an expert quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
+1
Kentucky-style derby
Equipment-Hat
Card by KillSmiley
+2
Meat cowboy hat
Equipment-Hat
Card by KillSmiley
+3
Traffic cone
Equipment-Hat
Can only be equipped by an adventurer at Level 2 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+4
Miner's helmet
Equipment-Hat
Can only be equipped by an adventurer at Level 3 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+5
f3d0r4
Equipment-Hat
Can only be equipped by a Moxie class adventurer at Level 3 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+6
Mohawk wig
Equipment-Hat
Can only be equipped by a Muscle class adventurer at Level 4 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+7
Star hat
Equipment-Hat
Can only be equipped by a Mysticality class adventurer at Level 4 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+1
Sweet ninja sword
Equipment-Weapon
Card by KillSmiley
+2
Rubber axe
Equipment-Weapon
Card by KillSmiley
+3
Flaming crutch
Equipment-Weapon
Can only be equipped by an adventurer at Level 2 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+4
Crowbarrr
Equipment-Weapon
Can only be equipped by an adventurer at Level 3 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+5
Oversized pizza cutter
Equipment-Weapon
Can only be equipped by a Mysticality class adventurer at Level 3 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+6
Potato pistol
Equipment-Weapon
Can only be equipped by a Moxie class adventurer at Level 4 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+7
Ridiculously huge sword
Equipment-Weapon
Can only be equipped by a Muscle class adventurer at Level 4 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+1
Studded leather boxer shorts
Equipment-Pants
Card by KillSmiley
+2
Frilly skirt
Equipment-Pants
Card by KillSmiley
+3
Filthy corduroys
Equipment-Pants
Can only be equipped by an adventurer at Level 2 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+4
Paper plate-mail pants
Equipment-Pants
Can only be equipped by an adventurer at Level 3 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+5
1337 7r0uZ0RZ
Equipment-Pants
Can only be equipped by a Muscle class adventurer at Level 3 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+6
Yakskin pants
Equipment-Pants
Can only be equipped by a Mysticality class adventurer at Level 4 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+7
Star pants
Equipment-Pants
Can only be equipped by a Moxie class adventurer at Level 4 or higher.
Card by KillSmiley
+2
Boris's ring
Equipment-Accessory
Can only be equipped by a Muscle class adventurer.
Card by KillSmiley
+2
Jarlsberg's earring
Equipment-Accessory
Can only be equipped by a Mysticality class adventurer.
Card by KillSmiley
+2
Sneaky Pete's breath spray
Equipment-Accessory
Can only be equipped by a Mysticality class adventurer.
Card by KillSmiley
+1
Shiny ring
Equipment-Accessory
Can only be equipped by an adventurer with a beginner quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
+2
Badass belt
Equipment-Accessory
Can only be equipped by an adventurer with an intermediate quest mark.
Card by KillSmiley
+4
Mr. Accessory
Equipment-Accessory
Can only be equipped by an adventurer with an expert quest mark. When you play this, discard a card.
Card by KillSmiley
4
Pet bugbear
Action-Monster
Card by KillSmiley
5
Knob Goblin elite guard
Action-Monster
If you fail to defeat this monster, discard a card.
Card by KillSmiley
6
Orcish frat boy
Action-Monster
Card by KillSmiley
7
BASIC elemental
Action-Monster
If you fail to defeat this monster, discard a card at random. If you defeat this monster, gain a level.
Card by KillSmiley
9
sabre-tooth goat
Action-Monster
If you fail to defeat this monster, discard a card. If you defeat this monster, gain a level.
Card by KillSmiley
11
Snowman ninja
Action-Monster
If you fail to defeat this monster, discard a card. If you defeat this monster, gain a level.
Card by KillSmiley
13
Goth giant
Action-Monster
If you fail to defeat this monster, discard two card. If you defeat this monster, gain a level and draw a card.
Card by KillSmiley
15
Topiary golem
Action-Monster
If you defeat this monster, gain a level and draw a card.
Card by KillSmiley
Tripped over a rock
Action-Complication
Well, not every adventure is going to be exciting. Discard two cards or you're knocked out and unable to continue.
Card by KillSmiley
Robbed by a lowercase L
Action-Complication
Those guys are extremely annoying. Discard two cards or you'll have to return to town to restock on supplies.
Card by KillSmiley
Stalked by the beast with 1,000,000 ears
Action-Complication
You have no hope of killing it or escaping...without a distraction, that is. Either destroy a piece of Equipment in play that you control or discard an Equipment card from your hand or you'll have to turn back.
Card by KillSmiley
Pygoscelis protection racket
Action-Complication
At a crossroads, you encounter a Perfectly Legitimate toll booth operated by the Penguin Mafia. Either destroy a piece of Equipment in play that you control or discard an Equipment card from your hand as a "donation" or they won't let you pass.
Card by KillSmiley
Cursed by the RNG
Action-Complication
Lady Luck gave you the finger today. You automatically lose any coin flip.
Card by KillSmiley
A slight case of poisoning
Action-Complication
You were stung by a mayonnaise wasp in Seaside Town and poisoned slightly. Not bad enough to make you quit, but it is annoying. The difficulty rating of the current quest is increased by 2.
Card by KillSmiley
Damage-resistant monsters
Action-Complication
Jick just implemented damage-resistant monsters in the area, totally ruining the game forever. The difficulty rating of the current quest is increased by 2.
Card by KillSmiley
Apathy
Action-Complication
You just really don't feel like doing this quest. The difficulty rating of the current quest is increased by 2, but whatever.
Card by KillSmiley
PvP
Action
Choose another player. Compare your effective level against his/hers; either of you may use Actions or abilities to increase level. If your level is highest, you may either go up a level or take a card at random from the loser's hand. If your level is lowest or there's a tie, you lose a level.
Card by KillSmiley
PvP
Action
Choose another player. Compare your effective level against his/hers; either of you may use Actions or abilities to increase level. If your level is highest, you may either go up a level or take a card at random from the loser's hand. If your level is lowest or there's a tie, you lose a level.
Card by KillSmiley
PvP
Action
Choose another player. Compare your effective level against his/hers; either of you may use Actions or abilities to increase level. If your level is highest, you may either go up a level or take a card at random from the loser's hand. If your level is lowest or there's a tie, you lose a level.
Card by KillSmiley
PvP
Action
Choose another player. Compare your effective level against his/hers; either of you may use Actions or abilities to increase level. If your level is highest, you may either go up a level or take a card at random from the loser's hand. If your level is lowest or there's a tie, you lose a level.
Card by KillSmiley
Magical Mystical Hippy Stone
Thing
You may not play PvP cards or be the target of PvP cards. Action: Destroy this Thing.
Card by KillSmiley
Barbed-wire fence
Thing
You gain +1 in all PvP matches.
Card by KillSmiley
Potion of temporary gr8ness
Action
Play this at any time to gain +4 to a single Quest or Monster encounter.
Card by KillSmiley
Dyspepsi-cola grenade
Action
Play this at any time to gain +4 to a single Quest or Monster encounter.
Card by KillSmiley
Scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil
Action
Play this at any time to gain +4 to a single Quest or Monster encounter.
Card by KillSmiley
Tomato juice of powerful power
Action
Play this at any time to gain +3 to a single Quest or Monster encounter.
Card by KillSmiley
Plot hole
Action
Play this at any time to gain +3 to a single Quest or Monster encounter.
Card by KillSmiley
Box of sunshine
Action
Play this at any time to gain +3 to a single Quest or Monster encounter.
Card by KillSmiley
Rollover
Action
Draw one Quest card from the discard pile.
Card by KillSmiley
Rollover
Action
Draw one Quest card from the discard pile.
Card by KillSmiley
Jick dropped the database
Action
Oops! All data rolls back. Each player must either lose a level or give up a quest mark. Level 1 players with no quest marks are unaffected, the lucky n00bs.
Card by KillSmiley