Infinite Dvorak deck/Flavor set

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Flavor set
Designer Cards by Everyone
Date March 2010 and onwards
Players 2+
This is a subpage of a larger deck.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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This deck is locked. Further cards should not be added - leave feedback on the talk page.

This deck is made up of cards from the Infinite Dvorak deck with high-quality flavortext.

No Tea
Thing
Give this card to any player when it is played. You may draw cards only on your turn, and you may draw at most one card per turn. If you play or control "Tea", destroy this card.
You are carrying: an atomic vector plotter, the thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is, and no tea.
Card by jtwe
8U
The Internet is Serious Business
Action
Each player that controls more or fewer Things than you discards two cards.
And that's why everyone who doesn't agree with me is an idiot.
Card by jtwe
2D
Rejected
Thing
The first time each turn that a proposed card is rejected, that card's creator discards two cards, then draws a card.
You're watching the Family Learning Channel. And now, angry ticks fire out of my nipples!
Card by jtwe
Time Machine
Thing
Whenever you skip a turn, place a time counter on this.

At the beginning of your turn, if this has 5 or more time counters on it, you win the game.
It's essentially a cardboard box, and on the outside of it I wrote "Time Machine" in Sharpie.
Card by JJ12121616
Unplugged Refrigerator
Thing-Appliance
Action: Destroy this card to destroy 3 adjacent Things which are all under the control of the same player.
Gonna fall on you!
Card by Corrigan
sudo rm -rf /
Action
One opponent of your choice must think of a reasonably common English word. If you can guess this word within three tries, all Things are destroyed, all hands are discarded, and everyone draws a new hand.
I told you password was a bad password!
Card by Kyevan
Codpiece
Thing - Supervillain
Action: Fire crotch-based laser - Destroy a Thing.
Why, God, why did you let this exist!?
Card by Kyevan
Monastic Lessons
Thing
Draw a card at the end of each turn of yours where you did not speak.
"I'm glad to see we've moved on past the duct tape."
Card by Corrigan
Wall of Wooden Fists
Thing
Each token counts as half a Thing.
Why is this card called Wall of Wooden Fists?
Card by Corrigan
Determinator
Thing
Things cannot use their Action ability if they used it on the previous turn of their owner.
"I'll be back. I will be back! I will!"
Card by Corrigan
Meh
Apathy
Thing
Disobey any cards you please. Including this one.
I don't even care enough to finish this ca
Card by Pongo
The Cask of Rejected
Action
Secretly write the name of a Thing you controlled that was destroyed by target opponent. That player has 10 guesses or 1 minute, whichever comes first, to name it. If he or she can't, he or she is eliminated.
For the love of God and all that is holy, Montresor! My anus is bleeding!
Card by jtwe
5E
Detrimental Side-Effects
Thing
You may play this into the control of any player.

Whenever you play a Thing, you must destroy one of your tokens, if possible.
...dizziness, nausea, headaches, nasal bleeding, skin discoloration, temporary or permanent hearing loss, suicidal depression, poverty and spontaneous combustion.
Card by Bucky
E
Exploit Strange Vulnerabilities
Action
Each Thing in play whose text includes a special defense from destruction or removal from play loses that part of its text until the end of the turn and is destroyed.
It's like a high-frequency kryptonite silver bullet and a stake through the heart, and it's yellow.
Card by Tweed Cap
You Are Eaten Alive By Ants
Action
Eliminate the player who controls the most tokens.
"I put a magic spell on your tokens and they all turned into ants and ate you! Feel the sting of avarice!"
Card by Corrigan
3M
Dramatic Chorale Singing
Thing
For 3 turn cycles after this card is played, nobody may play a card. After that, every player must play a Thing. Whenever an Action is played, double any numerical values in its text ('a' and 'an' are considered to be '1').
The stakes are higher! The tension is ratcheted! The drama is maxed! The Oscar is in the bag!
Card by Corrigan
Occam's Razor Blade
Thing
Action: Destroy the thing with the most words in its rules text.
Chuck Norris shaves with this.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Albert Camus
Thing
Action: Generate a zombie token.
"How do you know he didn't summon zombies? You don't even know who he was!"
Card by Zt
9V
Midget Joke
Action
The player with the fewest cards in their hand skips their next turn.
The Midget's Rights groups around here aren't big enough to do anything about it.
Card by Bucky
0
This Card has No Title
Thing
All Things in play when this Thing comes into play, that have ruletext that applies to the Thing itself must add the text "with the exception of this card" after that rule. WIth the exception of this card.
To understand recursion, the first step is to understand recursion.
Card by Goldenboots
The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch
Thing
Action: Destroy this card to remove target thing from the game.
...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."
Card by ChippyYYZ
WKRP Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway
Action
For each opponent, roll a die. Give that many Dead Turkey Tokens to that player, then roll another die and give half that many Turkey Tokens to that player.
Destroy a random non-turkey thing for each living Turkey in play
I swear to God I thought they could fly.
Card by ChippyYYZ
666
Antichrist Superstar
Thing
Action: Replace target living Thing with a strawberry candy token.
"This guy is more popular than any rock band nowadays." - The Rolling Stone. "I have to tell to all these young groupies: I'm sorry, the Lord of D. is busy. A very disappointing job." - Pol Pot, Satan's personal butler.
"I LOVE strawberry candy." - Satan
Card by Zt
Plato
Thing
When this comes into play, destroy all Things other than this.
"The safest general characterization of the European philosophical tradition is that it consists of a series of footnotes to Plato." - Whitehead
"You are all nothing but footnotes to me, suckers!" - Plato Himself
Card by Zt
Cthulu Sex Magazine
Thing








"With a title like that you don't need to do anything."
Card by gill_smoke
Half-Curse of Nemhotep
Action
Gain a doom token. If you control two or more doom tokens, eliminate target player.
"What do you mean by >>it's not finished yet<<?!"
Card by Zt
Sabotage
Action
Erase an Action ability of target Thing
A wrench? Designed for monkeys????
Card by Goldenboots
Silver Trophy
Action
Leave the game as though you have won, but keep this card. When the game ends, You are considered to be one place behind any players who won, and one place above any players who lost.
Its okay, Germany got 2nd in the war. They did alright.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Fatal Mistake
Action
Play in response to an opponent's action destroying a non-blue thing. Destroy all things, each player discards his hand, and eliminate the player who played the previous action.
Should've cut the blue wire.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Dim Matter Bolt
Action
Target player discards a card and may not play actions next turn.
Not as good as Dark Matter, but the savings are tremendous!
Card by ChippyYYZ
6L
Faulty Chronoblast
Action
Target opponent gains a copy of each thing he or she controls.
"You idiot! Plus is positive, minus is negative!"
Card by ChippyYYZ
1I
The Head of Vecna
Thing
When you gain control of The Head of Vecna, you may eliminate yourself. If you do, The Head of Vecna gains the text "Action:Eliminate an opponent" while you control it.
The moral of this story is, do not cut your own head off unless you really really know what you are doing
Card by Bucky
Some Your Base Are Belong To Us
Action
Each opponent chooses a thing they control. For each thing not chosen, flip a coin and gain control of it on a heads.
You have a small chance to survive make your time.

Ha Ha.
Card by ChippyYYZ
DC
Darksteel Phantom
Thing
Darksteel Phantom is indestuctible. Each turn, destroy a thing. If no other things remain, remove this card from the game.
"A ghost made of Darksteel? Isn't that like a solid gold trophy plated in tin?"
Card by AldusValor
Doing the Impossible
Action
You may destroy any one card, as long as it cannot be destroyed. Cards that can be destroyed cannot be destroyed by this card.
We can do the impossible! Now, continuing on from that, we can now sneakily do the possible.
Card by Nehh
9H
Evil-In-A-Can
Thing
If this Thing is destroyed, randomly discard two cards.

Action:Each player destroys one of their Things.
Remember kids, the raw forces of elemental evil are not a toy.
Card by Bucky
2G
Global Warming Hoax
Thing
At the start of your turn, move the top card of the draw pile to Up Your Sleeve. If you have 15 or more cards Up Your Sleeve, you win the game.
1)Hack NASA's old climate data
2)Invest in carbon credits
3)???
4)Profit
Card by Bucky
Q
Cosmic Might!
Action
Destroy no less than 15 things in play. Skip your next turn.
Hoo dawgy.
Card by tronbie
Toaster with Fling Action
Thing
Action: put a toast counter on this card.
Remove 3 toast counters: target opponent discards their hand.
What does Fling Action mean?
*flying toast burns hand*
oh.
Card by eskimoboy
Paintball Wizard
Thing
When this enters play, choose its color.
Action: Replace a word on target thing with this thing's color. The targeted thing must be a different color than Paintball Wizard.
That red, red, and red kid sure red a red paintball.
Card by ChippyYYZ
9E
Master Plan Revealed
Action
Gain control of all Things whose author is Bucky. If there are no such Things in play that you do not already control, discard your hand and draw five cards.
You broadcast the speech before any agents were in place? You're fired!
Card by Bucky
Tamper
Action
Delete a sentence from target thing.
Please note that all contributions to The Dvorak Game Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors.
Card by ChippyYYZ
0A
Poisonous Mood
Thing
Each opponent discards a random card at the end of each of your turns. Whenever you take an Action or play a Thing, destroy Poisonous Mood.
Armed with weapons-grade sarcasm and a mouthful of vitriol.
Card by Bucky
Psychic
Action
Pick a letter of the alphabet. Then draw and reveal cards until you draw a card with a cornervalue, and discard the rest. If the first letter in the cornervalue is the letter you chose, you win the game.
This trick may only work 4% of the time, but when it does, it's totally worth it.
Card by Binarius
Full Moon
Action
Reveal your hand. Each opponent discards a card at random.
"I did NOT need to see that." - Jtwe
Card by Binarius
5T
Bottled Victory
Thing
When Bottled Victory is destroyed, target Thing gains the text "Action+Thing:Win the game".
Ingredients: Water, Magic, High Fructose Corn Syrup, True Love, Sodium Benzoate to preserve freshness.
Card by Bucky
Underestimate the Opposition
Action
Target opponent who controls more non-token Things than you must destroy one of those Things or discard two cards.
"Oh. So there are ten THOUSAND of them." -eskimoboy
Card by Binarius
Overestimate The Opposition
Action
Each opponent chooses half their things and returns them to their hand.
Oh, wait, I was holding it upside-down. His power level is really 0006.
Card by ChippyYYZ
Meat
Thing
If this card is destroyed by Flame tokens, place a copy of the card Cooked Meat into your hand.
Meat is murder, tasty murder.
Card by Nehh
Slice of Pizza
Thing Food
If destroyed as food, create a cardboard token
Didn't you follow the directions? you were supposed to remove this before cooking.
Card by gill_smoke
Bloodrocuted
Action
Play only any time a Thing that contains blood or a similiar vital fluid is destroyed. Destroy target Thing.
bloodrocute - blud'ro`kyoot': vt (1) to electrocute by sending an electrical current through blood.
Card by ChippyYYZ
2Z
Vacuum Boon
Action
Destroy any number of tokens that are on Things, or destroy any number of dirt-related Things, or discard any number of cards, or gain four Void tokens.
That sucked.
Card by Bucky