Game of Life
If a player controls less than two or more than three tokens, they must destroy all tokens they control. Action: If you control two tokens, put a token of any type into play. Any player may play this ability.
Whenever you would discard an Action card, you may play it instead. It doesn't count towards your Action limit.
"Odd. That Wasn't Supposed To Happen."
Play in response to a player winning the game. Negate the card that caused them to win and put it into your hand.
Whenever a token you control is destroyed, replace with two of the same tokens.
This Is Madness!
Whenever a player would discard a card, they may play it instead.
This is a reference to something other than Sparta.
Action: A chosen opponent chooses a Thing they control. Destroy it.
House of Cards
You may skip drawing a card to put a Card token into play. Action: Destroy any number of Card tokens you control, to draw an equal number of cards.
Set aside all non-token Things you control. Play every card from your hand, in any order. Put all the cards you set aside into your hand.
Vile Aggressor must perform action every turn or be destroyed, When this is destroyed, destroy another thing.
Action: destroy target thing
All living things must flip a coin before performing action abilities, if tail make a puke token instead of performing action.
"There's a six drink minimum here."
Take control of target thing and two tokens, if available, from the same opponent.
"Ouch, that's gotta hurt."
At the start of their turn, if a player has more than one living Thing, they must destroy a living Thing they control.
Overpowered and Out of Here
Any Thing in play before this comes into play, and any card played after this is in play, containing two of the words win, lose, remove, text, destroy, eliminate, all or every is cancelled. If an Action, it has no effect. If a Thing, its ruletext is blanked. For each cancellation, you must erase a boldface word from this card that appeared on the cancelled card.
Mate in Three
Any player claiming to win the game must demonstrate that the card(s) and/or Token(s) that allow him/her to win had been in play for at least three of the player's turns.
Action: win the game.
But not right now.
Any player claiming to win the game must demonstrate that TWO OR MORE cards or Tokens were required for his/her win - that is, the player would not have won without all of these items.
Action: win the game.
Trailing Extension Lead
Whenever an opponent invokes a Thing's Action ability, you may use the Action ability of any Thing you control, immediately afterwards.
Action: Destroy this card; draw four cards and play all of the Actions you draw.
Don't Stop The Music
Destroy this card at the beginning of your turn. At the beginning of every player's turn, activate an Action ability of a Thing you control that you have not activated since the beginning of your last turn. Action: Ignore target Thing's first sentence until the beginning of your next turn.
Discard any number of cards and draw an equal number of cards.
Attach to an animate thing. gains the following rules text 'after using an action ability This card must use "Action: destroy a thing." before using another action.'
It's all positive
Everybody reveals thier cards and removes from the game any cards with destroy effects and any cards with a semanticly negative word. (except, without, no, not, -n't)
"Buy Jolt Cola"
How many tokens would it take?
Everybody counts thier tokens the one with the most gets posession of the rest.
If you would discard this card, keep it and an opponent must discard a card instead.
If an Action card is played, destroy Martian Tripod. Action: Destroy a Thing.
Reverse the Polarity
Whenever a Thing (other than this one) would be destroyed, a copy is created instead, and put into play under the control of the original Thing's controller.
Action: Destroy target abstract concept.
"Perché questo ti incuteva tanto spavento?" "Perché era del Filosofo. Ogni libro di quell'uomo ha distrutto una parte della sapienza che la cristianità aveva accumulato lungo i secoli." - Eco, Il nome della rosa.
War! Whenever a player destroys a Thing, he gains a homo homini lupus token.
If somebody controls 4 or more homo homini lupus tokens, he wins the game. All players may agree to replace this card with a textless card called: "Leviathan".
"For by Art is created that great Leviathan..."
You may negate any Actions that are longer than two sentences.
"That's not logical" - Immanuel Kan... wait... That's a Mr. Spock line, you pseudo-intellectual!
Method of Descartes
Doubt the existence of all non-deity Things. For each such, owner rolls a d6. The Thing is destroyed on a 1.
I think pink, therefore I am pink.
University of Woolloomooloo Philosophy Department
Change the name of a Thing to "Bruce"
Do you mind if we call you Bruce, Bruce?
Any Actions you play affect all players equally. So if one player is targetted, all players are targetted. If one Thing is targetted, one Thing belonging to every player is targetted.
Reaction: When another player plays an Action or uses an Action ability that affects him/herself, you may apply the same Action/ability to yourself.
The name "Immanuel Kant" was taken.
Action: Destroy a Thing, if you control three or more Hobbe tokens. Action: Replace a token with a Hobbe token and gain control of it.
When this comes into play, destroy all Things other than this.
"The safest general characterization of the European philosophical tradition is that it consists of a series of footnotes to Plato." - Whitehead
"You are all nothing but footnotes to me, suckers!" - Plato Himself
You may insult all other players, but if somebody insults you, he is eliminated.
"This card takes philosophical Dvorak to a completely new dimension."
When John Locke comes into play, he gains the Action and Thing abilities of target thing.
"He just plagiarized anyway." - Some mean-hearted professor.
Play in response to an action ability, take control triggering thing.
Play in response to an action ability, Destroy one of your things and the thing that triggered this card.
Attach to a living thing it can't take actions other than Action: destroy a money token to destroy this card.
When this comes into play, put eight Sand tokens into play. If no tokens of any type are in play, you win the game. Action: Destroy a token.
For each type of token in play, destroy all but one token of that type.
Superdollar Printing Press
Action: Choose a token in play, and create two copies of it under your control.
Everybody has to talk a lot, but if somebody writes down anything, he is eliminated.
Action: Search the draw pile for a philosopher or a card that contains the word "philosophy"
and put it in your hand.
The player with most things in play is "Il Principe". Only "Il Principe"
may play Actions from his hand. (Action abilities are exempt from this rule.)
"Dal momento che l'amore e la paura possono difficilmente coesistere, se dobbiamo scegliere fra uno dei due, è molto più sicuro essere temuti che amati." - Machiavelli
You are the Übermensch and cannot be eliminated.
Action: Destroy target god.
"God is dead" - Nietzsche
While this card is in play, the title of all non-token Things in play is 'Bruce', and all tokens are Bruce tokens instead of their normal type. Action: Put a Bruce token into play.
Being IS nothingness. Next player eliminated wins the game.
But it's meaningless.
Everything is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.
Action Lisbon earthquake: all living things with action abilities lose them.
Action Search the draw pile for a card which would eliminate a player and shuffle it into the top five cards of the draw pile.
Pessimists also believe this is the best of all possible worlds.
I'll Come In Again
Return a Thing you control to your hand, then play it again immediately.
Card by Action
Whenever a player would play a card, they must name a card of the same type (Thing or Action) from those in the discard pile. The played card becomes a copy of the named card. (If there is no such card in the discard pile, the card is played unchanged.)
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Token Garbage Collection
All tokens whose name/type are not mentioned on current Things in play are (at your option on a case-by-case basis) either destroyed or converted into tokens named Token.
Who can keep track of this garbage?
ALL? Not me!
Equip this onto a Thing. Equipped Thing can only be destroyed or altered by an effect for which it is the only targetted Thing. Control of this card goes to the player destroying the equipped Thing.
Kevan says I don't have to.
John Stuart Mill
If the total number of Tokens ever decreases, the Action below automatically triggers (under your control).
Action: Add 5 Utilitarian Tokens to the game and redistribute the ownership of Tokens as ordered by you, but so that nobody's total number of Tokens goes down.
Greatest good of the greatest number.
Literature - A Disstory
Who is the most overrated author ever?
Everybody writes down a name secretly. If 2 players chose the same name, both win. If sb. wrote down one of the names below, she gains an irreverence token and draws a card. Hemingway, Twain, Melville, Updike, Sartre, Saramago, Camus, Dostoyevskij, Tolstoy, Roth, Kafka, Goethe, Schiller, Mann, Kundera, the guy who wrote the bible, Cervantes, Dante, Calvino, Shakespeare, Homer.
Action: Take a card from the discard pile into your hand. Gain a time token.
Action: If you control ten time tokens, destroy this card: travel back into time and prevent opponent's birth: target opponent is eliminated.
Dannyboy, Hacker Legend
Whenever an Action ability is used, you may change the Action ability's target.
"He sees numbers, where you see only random letters, doors, where you see only walls, meaning, where you see only bits and bytes."
Elaborate Insurance Policy
If a Thing (other than this one) is destroyed when it isn't your turn, you win the game.
Not living. Cannot be destroyed by Action abilities.
Action: Destroy one third of all living Things. (Rounded up. You decide which Things exactly.)
Action: If there are no living Things in play, put a trumpet token into play.
Action: Destroy seven trumpet tokens you control and eliminate all other players.
Destroy n things you control.
Target player has to discard n/10 (rounded down) cards. If he cannot, he is eliminated.
Andrew's Lucky Talisman
Whenever dice are rolled you may add one or detract one from the result. Whenever a coin is flipped,
you decide the outcome. Whenever an opponent draws a card, you may roll a die. On a one, you get the card instead.
Out of Ammo
An Action ability cannot be played if it would destroy a Thing or eliminate a player.
Lost in Research
Draw five cards. An opponent of your choice may destroy up to three Things you control.
Action: Every player draws a card.
Sounds better when you say it
play in reaction to an action card. You act as though you played the target card.
When you play this, eliminate yourself and another player.
Play in response to a thing being played. put it in your hand. change its type to draft, it is unplayable from you hand.
Now why would you go and do that for? -Bub
Instead of discarding a random card you may destroy a random Thing you control.
Action: Everybody gets drunk and discards a random card.
Action: Gain a money token.
"What do you mean ya don't drink? Are you funny in the head or something?" - Bub
Everybody has to smile. If a player doesn't smile, he is eliminated. Instead of destroying a Thing you may draw a card.
"I love your pink new hat!" - Bub
"Err... are you sure Bub said THAT?!" - Gill Smoke
Annoying Pseudo-Pop-Science Rambling Guy
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, destroy this card instead and quote Murphy's law.
Toss a coin for each Thing in play. For each coin that comes up tails, destroy that Thing.
Play only if each player has three or fewer cards in their hand. If a player ever has five cards in their hand, they are eliminated.
Whenever anyone plays an Action card, they must return it to their hand instead of putting it in the discard pile.
Swap target card with a Thing in the discard pile.
The card can be anywhere - in play, in someone's hand, already in the discard pile...
I read Ulysses by James Joyce and you didn't!
Gain 2 intellectual tokens and 1 token of your choice.
In Soviet Russia Card Plays You!
Play in response to an Action. The Action's text is changed till end of turn. All instances of "the" and "a" in the Action's text are removed. Each subject in the sentence becomes an object, each object becomes "you". Dots become exclamation marks.
- "Eliminate target opponent." -> "Target opponent eliminate you!"
Let's do it again!
All "at the beginning of your turn" effects on Things are performed twice at the beginning of the respective player's turn.
Redistrubite the Wealth
Collect all tokens sorted by type redistribute them fairly to all players destroying the remainder
"Yeah like that's going to work" -Bub
Playable on another, owner may only take actions every other turn.
"It five o'clock somewhere." -Bub
When a card is assimilated Borg Collective may add the action or thing ability to their rules text. All of your things must be assimilated to the Borg Collective before you can assimilate other player's things. Action: Assimilate thing. (Destroy)
"Resistance is futile"
You may play this under an opponent's control. When this comes into play, target opponent gains control of all other Things you control. Your hand size is reduced by three. You may play cards from the discard pile as though they were in your hand.
Action: Target opponent reveals his hand. Choose a card from the opponent's hand
and give it to a player other than you.
Action: Destroy target human.
"Who's that queer in tights?" - Last words of a Nottingham guard.
I Kill Little Innocent Pandas
You are so evil that you laugh evilly at the beginning of your turn.
If you forget to laugh you are eliminated.
Action or Thing: Discard a card, destroy target living Thing.
The House Of The Rising Sun
No player may both draw and play a card in the same turn. Any player with no cards in their hand is eliminated.
Granny, Does Your Dog Bite?
View a chosen player's hand.
Every opponent discards a card.
Cards may not be played. Action: Return this to your hand.
Draw a card for every physical, non-living Thing which is taller than ten feet.
Precarious Shelf Space
Whenever a Thing comes into play, destroy a Thing at random.
When you play this card, it is put into an opponents hand of your choice. If it is put into your hand through this effect, you must play it next turn. On the 9th turn that "Useless What-dya-ma-call-it?!?" is played, the player who played it loses the game
Whenever a card is played, whenever an effect triggers, whenever a player draws or discards a card, you must say 'DUHH!'. If you forget, this card is sacrificed. If this card stays in play for 10 turns, you win the game.
For each token in play, put another token into play of that type, under the controller of the original token.
Action: Pick a Thing with an Action ability. Its ability activates once, with any decisions required by it being taken randomly.
Token Exclusion Principle
Every player with duplicate identical tokens destroys duplicates until only one of each type remains (per player).
Cornervalue Exclusion Principle
No two Things belonging to a player may have the same cornervalue (null cornervalues included). If any player has Things with matching cornervalues, that player must destroy all but a randomly chosen one (but indestructible Things have preference) . While trying to play a Thing with a duplicate cornervalue, toss a coin to see which Thing is kept..
Cards with a number in their cornervalue (ignore letters, etc) are Noble. Other cards or Common. No Common card may destroy, alter, or overrule any Noble card. No Noble card may destroy, alter, or overrule a Noble card with a higher number.
Action Enoble: Give the corner number of this card to another card.
Action Promotion: Double the corner number of a card.
Action: Discard a card with the word 'destroy' on it to destroy two Things.
Starting with your opponent, each player plays all the cards in their hand, in an order of their choosing. At the end of the turn, return all the played cards to their respective players' hands.
If Hummingbird would be destroyed, return it to your hand instead.
You may capture one Action card and place it under Bottled Lightning as soon as it is played; its effects occur at the beginning of every one of your turns.
The Feel-Good Hit Of The Summer
Gain three Money tokens when you play this card. Gain a Money token and draw an extra card at the beginning of your turns.
When you play this card, change its title to a noun phrase beginning with the word "The". Any player who refers to you by any other noun phrase, or by your name without appending this card's title to it, is eliminated.