When me and Grandpa used to hunt Dinosaurs
Everybody may use this Thing's abilities.
Action: Destroy target living Thing controlled by opponent. If you do, gain a tooth token.
Action: If you control two or more tooth tokens, eliminate a player with no living Things in play.
"Everything was better back then."
The Gloves Are Off
If a player is forced to discard a card, but has no cards in their hand, they are eliminated.
For every Insanity token in play, your hand size is reduced by one. Action: Draw three cards, and put an Insanity token into play.
Going Through The Motions
When this comes into play, each player (starting with you) draws two cards and plays them both immediately. Repeat this until the game ends, or until this Thing is destroyed. Action abilities cannot be played.
Draw two cards plus one for every opponent; give every opponent one of those cards, and keep the other two.
Return Robot Sentries to your hand when an opponent plays a Thing to return that Thing to your opponent's hand. Destroy Robot Sentries when an opponent plays a Thing to destroy that Thing.
Put a living Thing from the discard pile into play under your control.
Taunting the Spy
You have no hand size limit. If you have fewer than ten cards in your hand, you cannot win the game or eliminate any players. Action: Draw a card.
if discarded you win
Its not a thing nor an action card and is therefore unplayable
Every time one of your living things would be destroyed, you may remove it from the game and create a zombie token instead.
may be played on another player, owner must discard a card to take an action.
If I Had A Hammer
You cannot play Action cards, or use the Action ability of any other Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing.
Every player takes a random card from the player on their left, then discards a card.
When this card comes into play, every player secretly chooses a number of cards to discard and then discards them; whoever discarded the most gains control of this card. On a tie, the tied players may bid additional discards for control. Action: Destroy this card and take another turn.
Every player must either destroy all Things under their control that can destroy other Things or discard their hand.
Action: Give control of this Thing to a player who controls no Things, and draw five cards.
Action: Activate the Action ability of another Thing you control three times, then destroy that Thing.
Sins of the Father
Whenever any non-token Thing is destroyed, the player who destroyed it gains a Sin token. Any player with a Sin token may not win the game. Any player may destroy a Sin token they control instead of drawing at the beginning of their turn.
Security Council Resolutions
Every player creates one card. Put these cards to a vote on whether to be shuffled into the draw pile. If assent is not unanimous for any one of them, none are shuffled in.
Any player who controls 2n-1 Things, for prime n, may draw n cards.
When a player attempts to draw a card when the deck is empty, eliminate that player and destroy this card.
"Are you still serving breakfast?" "Uh, today, or, like, in general?"
The Eye of a Needle
If a player has one or more cards in their hand, they may not win the game.
Will Work For Food
Action: Gain control of a living Thing. Any player may play this ability.
Take a vote for the winner the owner of this card gets 3 votes
if there are more than 10 living things in the discard pile living things that go to the discard pile are removed from the game and are replaced by a zombie token instead.
Your max hand size is increased by 27
"I'm sorry Dave I can't do that" -Hal3000
In This Week's Episode
Reveal your hand. If you have any Things with Action abilities in your hand, you may play each of those abilities once.
All sound-related cards are disabled.
It houses the 19 forbidden notes.
Mall Drug Store Nerf
For every card created by Kevan played, create a drama token and put it into play.
10/14/08: NEVAR FORGET
Action: Destroy all things with no flavour text.
Oh no, they're not getting me.
WKRP Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway
For each opponent, roll a die. Give that many Dead Turkey Tokens to that player, then roll another die and give half that many Turkey Tokens to that player.
Destroy a random non-turkey thing for each living Turkey in play
I swear to God I thought they could fly.
Prototype Isochron Sceptre
When this comes into play, attach an Action card from your hand to it.
Action: This ability has an identical effect to the Action card attached to Prototype Isochron Sceptre, but you must discard a card to play it.
Wait A Minute...
Pause the game for 60 seconds.
The Gods Made Heavy Metal
Draw two cards at the start of your turns. Destroy this card if you do not play both an Action and a Thing during your turn. Action: Destroy target Thing unless its controller agrees to trade it to you for a chosen Thing you control.
From Hour to Hour We Ripe and Ripe
Discard a card, then draw three cards and play one of them.
Return a Thing you control to your hand and replace it with a Thing from your hand.
Action: Eliminate a player.
Card by moot#faggot
Finish What's On Your Plate
Players may not draw cards if they already have one or more cards in their hand.
When this card has more than 100 tokens on it remove it and its tokens from play. <BRAction: Destroy a living thing add a blood token to card.
Action: Take control of another token, put on this card.
Take a vote to either "A: Owner takes another turn." or "T: game ends the owner of the most non token things wins." In case of a tie the card gets shuffled into the draw pile.
play a card from the discard pile
Jumping the Shark
Players may play any number of Things and Actions on their turn. Nobody may win or be eliminated while this is in play. This card cannot be destroyed by its owner.
Hide an opponent's view of the game, then read out the name of all but one Thing they control. If they cannot identify the unnamed Thing within thirty seconds, it is destroyed.
If a Soul token leaves play, its controller is eliminated. Action: Give a Soul token to each player who doesn't have one.
If an opponent wins the game, you win too. If a card claims to eliminate you, you are not eliminated; all opponents toss a coin, those with Tails are eliminated. Any opponent may, at the beginning of their turn, take control of this card in return for your choice of any two of their Things in play or all the cards in their hand.
The next player to play a Thing, play an Action, create or destroy a Token, or use an Action: or Thing: ability - is eliminated.
Action: eliminate yourself.
Chess position where neither player can safely move.
Your hand size is increased by one. If one of your Things would be destroyed, flip a coin to prevent its destruction and draw a card instead.
Upwardly Mobile Dude
Draw an extra card at the beginning of your turn for every opponent who controls more Things than you.
Insane New Dance Move
Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards.
Action: Discard a card, then draw a card.
The Extinction of the Language Taguma-Le
Senseless sentences and sentences that are not entirely English are ignored. Any player may use this Thing's abilities. Wakka fogo Wede tat digrlada. Zemesetes nogo putt i. Nogo fogo fu.
Action: Replace all instances of a non-English word on this card with an English word of your choice.
Librarian on Speed
You may play this under an opponent's control. Whenever you discard cards, draw a card and discard down to your hand size limit. If you draw 20 or more cards in a row, you are eliminated.
"I'm the librarian and I'll take any drugs in the world I want!"
Players may draw the top card of the discard pile instead of drawing a card.
"You are banned from this historical society! You, and your children, and your children's children .... for three months."
At the beginining of your turn destroy a token or evil tome.
Action: Discard a card draw and play a card
Action: Destroy one of your tokens, destroy a thing
Action: Discard a card Create 10 tokens of any type
Action: Replace a thing with a rubble token.
Discard your hand remove all of another's players things from the game
Action: Destroy a Lovecraft-related card.
Promoting your Pawn
Destroy a token you control. If you do, write: "Action: Destroy target tangible inanimate Thing." onto target Thing.
And he becomes a queen.
José Raúl Capablanca
Action: Destroy target chess player.
Action: Win a tournament: Gain 1 money token.
The master. The one and only.
Alexander Alexandrovich Alekhine
Cannot be destroyed, unless destroying player destroys 10,000 money tokens he controls.
Action: Destroy José Raúl Capablanca.
Action and Thing: Win a tournament: Gain 1 money token.
Poison Gas Vent
At the start of each player's turn, they must put a Gas token into play. If a player controls ten Gas tokens, they are eliminated.
This Is Not My Beautiful House
Pick a number from one to three. Each player must destroy that many Things they control.
I've got Superpowers, but I use them only to make money
If you control 30 or more money tokens, you win.
Action: Unless an opponent destroys a non-token Thing he controls, gain a money token for every non-token Thing in play, but maximally 10 money tokens per turn.
My God, I'm an Ant!
You may play this under an opponent's control. Your hand size is one.
Action: Use an Action or a Thing's Action ability from the discard pile.
My God, I'm a Giant!
You may play this under an opponent's control. Your hand size is increased by 5. Whenever you play a Thing, flip a coin. If tails, it is destroyed.
Action: Destroy target living Thing.
Choose two Things with the same background colour controlled by the same opponent. Opponent chooses which is destroyed.
Choose two Things with the same background colour controlled by the same opponent. Note their names on this card. If the first one listed is destroyed, removed, or changes controller, the second one listed and Bishop Pin are destroyed.
This card cannot be destroyed by any material thing or action pertaining to a material thing. Nobody may win through control of tokens.
Material wealth can only offer you so much. Spiritual wealth is a different matter.
This card cannot be destroyed by any material thing or action pertaining to a material thing. Nobody may be eliminated through control of tokens.
Wealth of every description is your downfall, but fear of the hellfire keeps you from misusing it.
Choose an opponent of any gender. You and that opponent are partners. If either wins, both win, if either loses, both lose. At the beginning of each turn place an Anniversary token on this card. Destroy Marriage when it holds 7 Anniversary tokens.
HOW many four-slice toasters???
All cards except this one have the text "ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH".
Action: Destroy this card.
Do the impossible, see the invisible.
When this card comes into play, discard down to one card. Your hand size limit is seven. Draw two cards at the beginning of your turns.
Target Thing's controller must either destroy that Thing or show you their hand.
No One's Head Shall Be Higher Than King's
No player may control more Things than you do. If any player does when this card enters play, they must destroy their Things until they control as many as you.
Destroy this at the begining of your turn. When this comes into play move all living things under this card. When it leaves play shuffle and deal living things back to all players.
Action: Destroy a zombie to make a Green food token.
"Soylet Green, it's made of people."
Action: Daring Fireball destroys one thing.
"Oh yeah, well you suck." -JG
Create a new card, of type "thing". Name it [random page on Wiktionary]ism and make its text forbid [random page on Wikipedia](s) from being in play, then put it into play. You may transliterate non-Latin titles.
Action: Remove 10 money tokens you own, and create and put the card "Expensive New Drug" from the archive into play.
Expensive New Drug
When this is played, choose any effects that can directly affect a thing, erase this sentence, note them on this card, and play this onto a thing. The card this card is on is protected from the effects you chose. At the beginning of your turn, remove a money token that you own or destroy this card.
Action: Move this card onto another thing.
Whenever a d6 is rolled, any player rolling a 1 is immediately eliminated. Whenever a coin is tossed, any player tossing Heads must roll a d6.
Baby needs a new pair of .... *&%*$%
Today is [weekday]!
Draw n cards. On Monday n is 1, on Tuesday n is 2... on Sunday n is 7. If today is Friday the 13th, draw 13 cards and destroy 13 things. (Consider "[weekday]" in the card's title the weekday it is currently, except on Friday the 13th, in which case it is "Friday the 13th".) All times described in this card are UTC.
The Card that Changes its Text by the Hour
This card has the text of the nth card of the Infinite Dvorak deck. n = ( ([current hour] + [current day of month] + [current month] + [current year]) x [current day of week] (Monday = 1, Sunday = 7) ) (in hh-dd-mm-yy format). All times described in this card are UTC. Add "Action:" in front of the text if the card is an action card.
All players who have an account on the DvorakMUSH may draw an extra card at the beginning of their turn.
Of course it's unfair. That's the whole point.
Play into control of an opponent. At the end of your (controller's) turn, roll a d6. On a 1 you are eliminated. Hot Potato is a living thing and a food.
Action: Give Hot Potato to an opponent.
If I Had A Penny
Whenever a card is played, you may put a Money token into play.
When an opponent is eliminated, you act as auctioneer to auction off his/her non-token Things (singly) and hand (as one lot). Bids are in tokens: any tokens the bidder controls may be used. Winner of a Thing must put it in play immediately. Winner of the hand adds it to his/her hand. Items not bid for are destroyed. You may not bid. Winning bids are paid off to you, but you may destroy any tokens you receive this way.
Create a Chair token. Give a new Chair token to an opponent. Anyone with a Chair token may use the action ability:
Action: Give a new Chair token to an oppenent.
If all players but one have a Chair token, eliminate that player and destroy Musical Chairs and all Chair tokens
discard a card to play, whenever one of your tokens would be destroyed you may replace it with a sewage token.
"Would you really let him work on your pipes?"
Action: destroy two tokens destroy thing.
Action: destroy three tokens target player discards a card.
Action: Destroy two zombies destroy target thing if living replace with a Zombie token.
Reorder the discard pile.
Put target thing on the bottom of the discard pile.
Play this card at any time. Draw a card and play up to three actions or action abilities.
"History shall speak well of me, for I intend to write it."
Any player who controls more Things than every other player combined wins.
Destroy all electronics-related Things.
Mystery Science Theater 3000
Any Thing is destroyed if, immediately after it is played, each of its controller's opponents discards a card in ridicule.
Any player who controls more Things than every other player combined is eliminated.
Play immediately when a card affecting you is played to negate its effect; if it is a Thing, it is destroyed.
Integral Multiple of a Power of Ten
Thing - Math
When this card comes into play, destroy all Things whose cornervalues contain prime numbers. Action: Add a 0 to the end of a number expressed in numeral form on any card and return this card to your hand. Affected cards revert if this card goes to the discard pile.