any thing that's name sounds like a person gets disabled for one turn
Action and thing: Draw a card for every Quark in play.
At the beginning of your turn you may destroy this card and put a copy of an Electron from the Infinite Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play.
It is really a Electron neutrino.
If there's a quark in play this card has the following ability Action: Create an energy token.
You cannot be eliminated from the game. You cannot lose the game unless someone else wins the game at the same time.
Gain control of target Thing until the end of your next turn. You may take an extra Action this turn.
Destroy target Thing. Its controller draws three cards.
Action: Activate target Thing's Action ability.
Play into target opponent's control. At the end of your turn, roll a die; on a 3 or 4, discard a random card, and on a 5 or 6, destroy a random Thing you control. Action: This card's controller is eliminated.
Play into target opponent's control. If anyone would be eliminated, you are eliminated instead.
A Night in a Graveyard
At the beginning of your turn (if you can) destroy n non-token things you control, where n is the number of undeads you control.
Action: Destroy target thing and put a zombie token into play.
A Night in a Desecrated Church
Every living thing in play is replaced with a vampire or with a zombie token, with you deciding each time.
You may play this under an opponent's control. You cannot play living things.
Action and thing: Take control of a thing for every Quark in play
At the beginning of your turn you may use Gluon to replicate an Action ability of any Quark in play. Everybody may use the following ability Action and Thing: Create a copy of Gluon. There can only be a total of 8 Gluons in play, with new ones replacing the oldest.
Can be discarded to use as an energy token.<br\> Either Search the draw or discard piles a Quark thing OR replicate any Action ability of a Quark in play.
Rendezvous with Satan
Target player is eliminated, unless she discards a card. If she controls any undeads, she is eliminated again, unless she discards two cards.
Instead of playing a thing, you may draw a card.
Instead of drawing a card, you may play a thing.
Bribery, Laser Guns and Zombies
You may destroy two money tokens you control to gain control
of target thing. You may destroy two energy tokens you control to destroy target thing. You may destroy five undeads you control to eliminate an opponent who doesn't control undeads.
Action and Thing: Reveal cards from the draw pile for every Quark in play. Play all actions revealed.
At the beginning of your turn you may destroy this card and put a copy of a Muon from the Infinite Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play.
It is really a Muon neutrino
If there ss a quark in play Action: Destroy a thing. Otherwise Action and Thing: replace this card with a copy of 2 Quarks from the Infinite Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play.
All Things in play when Wisdom of the Elders comes into play have Age 100. Each Thing played has an Age one less than the last Thing played, minimum Age zero. When rules on two cards are in conflict, the card with greater Age controls.
In *my* day...
All Things in play when That's So Last Week comes into play have Newness 0. Each Thing played has Newness one more than the last Thing played, maximum Newness 100. When rules on two cards are in conflict, the card with greater Newness controls.
The olden days? Earlier this morning!
Action and thing: Discard a card for every Quark in play
Counts as an energy token Action: create energy token Thing: Create energy token
Destroy this card if a new Quark comes into play. Thing: Create an energy token.
Action: Destroy a non-token Thing and replace it with a Sketch token, or destroy a Sketch token and replace it with a Thing from the discard pile.
All Nodes are also Quarks. All Quarks are also Nodes.
Whenever a Thing uses an Action Ability, it uses it twice and is then destroyed.
Genie in a Jar
You have a free wish. I'm not joking! Just create a new card, But don't shuffle it into the deck.
Not nearly as reliable as the bottled variety.
Action and Thing: Reveal your hand. For every quark in play, play that many cards from your hand and then draw to replace played cards.
At the beginning of your turn you may destroy this card and put a copy of a Tauon from the Infinate Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play.
It is really a Tauon neutrino.
If there are no quarks in play this card has the following ability Thing: create a copy of a quark from the Infinate Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play.
otherwise Action: Destroy this card and flip a coin if Heads Take control of a quark in play. else if Tails Destroy one of your own quarks
Pick a Thing and a player. That player may immediately play an Action or Action ability they control; if the chosen Thing is still in play afterwards, the player must discard their hand.
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, draw a card.
Post Peak Cardboard
Whenever a player draws a card, they must destroy a Thing they control, if they have one. Players may choose to skip card draws.
Action and Thing: Reveal cards from the draw pile for every Quark in play. play all things revealed.
With a minimum of 1 trigger an action ability of any thing in play for every Quark in play.
Action and Thing: For every Quark in play, destroy a thing
Action: Change a token into a different type of token.
Each player puts one Finger token into play, for each card in their hand.
Your maximum hand size is increased by 1 for each Node you control.
When Bottled Action is destroyed, you may immediately play an extra Action.
Even if it isn't your turn.
Destroy a Thing you control.
Action: Destroy a token and put three Fragment tokens into play in its place.
Thing cards may not be played. Action: Return this card to your hand.
Thing - Particle
Action: Destroy Kaon and play three cards. This ability is triggered automatically on Kaon's third turn in play.
Thing - Particle
Action: Search the deck for a Particle, put it into your hand, and shuffle the deck.
Destroy five Money tokens when this card comes into play. At the beginning of your turn, draw ten cards and discard them immediately. If any of them is a Particle, you win.
Destroy one target Thing, plus one more target Thing for each Node you control.
Return up to two living Things in the discard pile to play under your control.
The player with the fewest cards in their hand skips their next turn.
The Midget's Rights groups around here aren't big enough to do anything about it.
Action and Thing: Search the top 100 cards of the draw pile for a thing, put it in your hand. (shuffle optional)
Action and Thing: attach to a particle in play. Rules text on that card now applies to all players. If it has any abilities, any player may use them.
Mote in God's eye
May be played on another, Until owner destroys this thing they cannot play cards from their but may use all abilities of every card in play.
You would still draw and discard.
The Comfort of Strangers
Draw a card for every non-player you can persuade to say "draw a card", in the next three minutes.
Destroy a thing and replace it with three Particle Tokens.
Action and Thing: Create a Quark Token
The Red Wheelbarrow
so much depends
a red wheel
glazed with rain
beside the white
If you can figure out what this card's ability does, you win.
Create a zombie token for every token in play
Target player discards their hand and skips their next turn.
That's not how your supposed to play. It's really Rock, Paper, Scissors
Carnac the Magnificent
Action: Play a random card from someone else's hand.
Carnac the Magnificent says the answer is Detroit
This card does not use up your action turn. Discard a card. If you do, you get an additional turn after this one. A player may only use this once per game.
"I liek PIE!"
I can has cheezburger?
All cards that have something to do with food (Are food, are animals that are commonly eaten, or involve food.) and are in hands of any players must be placed on the draw pile. Draw one card.
"I can has cheezburger?"
While this card is in play, tokens in play are treated as if they do not exist.
Destroy a Thing whose Action ability has been used three or more times since it came into play.
A chosen player discards a card at random. If it was an Action, play this card again immediately.
And the Horse You Rode In On
Destroy target thing that is an animal or a form of transportation.
All Things in play when this Thing comes into play, that have ruletext that applies to the Thing itself must add the text "with the exception of this card" after that rule. WIth the exception of this card.
To understand recursion, the first step is to understand recursion.
Action: Destroy X energy tokens, destroy X things.
If you have to ask what it stands for, you don't wanna know.
Action: Destroy one of your living things, create a Zombie token for every node in play.
Action and Thing: trigger an action ability for every node in play.
Really Big Card
Solely for the purpose of any game effect that counts a number of cards (including end-of-turn discard), this counts as three cards while in your hand, and three Things while in play.
If a player controls more different types of token than any other player, and has at least ten such types, they win the game.
You may destroy any of your Things at any time.
Even if it isn't your turn.
You play one extra Action per turn per Node you control. You cannot use the extra Action slots to use Action abilities of Nodes.
You play one extra Thing per turn per Node you control. You cannot use the extra Thing slots to use abilities of Nodes.
Sixteen Ton Weight
As this comes into play, you must destroy a Thing you control, if you have one. Sixteen Ton Weight cannot be destroyed.
List all Things in play that have an Action ability including the word "destroy". Order these Things alphabetically by title, then trigger the Action abilities in order, controlled by the owner of the Thing. Multiple abilities on the same card all trigger. If a Thing's ability cannot operate, the Thing's owner discards a card from hand and destroys the Thing. If unable to do so, the owner is eliminated.
Monte Carlo Method
List all Things in play that have an Action ability including the word "random". Order these Things randomly, then trigger the Action abilities in order, controlled by the owner of the Thing. Multiple abilities on the same card all trigger in random order. If a Thing's ability cannot operate, the Thing's owner discards a card and destroys the Thing. If unable to do so, the owner is eliminated.
If Secured Lockbox is destroyed by a player other than its owner, both the destroyer and the owner win the game. If Secured Lockbox is destroyed by its owner, the owner is eliminated. Secured Lockbox cannot be destroyed.
Advanced Targeting System
Actions you play cannot have their targets changed.
Play in response to an Action. Its controller chooses a new target, you choose a new target, then choose a random target.
The Action randomly targets one of the three.
Big Rock Ending
Draw five cards and play your whole hand. If at the end of the turn there are no things in play and you have no cards in your hand, you win.
The occupant of Oval Office may veto three events (play of a card, use of an action ability, etc). These events are cancelled and cannot be re-attempted until the player's next turn, UNLESS a 2/3 majority of other players vote to override the veto. After the third veto attempt, destroy Oval Office.
My Bifocals Are Missing!
Cards with small text ("longtext=true") do not apply to the controller of My Bifocals Are Missing!
Action: Destroy a card with small text.
Thing - Weapon
Action: Destroy target living Thing or return target non-living Thing to its controller's hand, and return Vorpal Bandyclef to your hand.
Placate the Bacon Elementals
Thing - Quest
At the beginning of your third turn after playing this card, destroy it and draw five cards.
Thing - Spell
Action: If target opponent attempts to play any Action or Thing on their next turn, they have a 50% chance of failing.
When Bottled Bottle is destroyed, return it to play.
Action:Destroy Bottled Bottle.
Not that it does anything
Thanks for the Snacks!
If the controller of this card provided snacks for this game session, and they are still uneaten, the controller may choose to play two Actions or two Things in a turn when he/she would have otherwise played an Action and a Thing.
Not right now, I'm on the computer!
End your turn immediately. Until your turn, none of your cards may be affected by any other player's cards effects.
Record the state of the game. Remove the 20 cards in the game that are oldest (in the Infinite Dvorak Game wiki). Shuffle and begin a new game. If/when that ends, restore the condition in the original game EXCEPT all players who won the "subgame" draw a card and all players eliminated from the subgame discard a card.
This card is in the new game, at least the first few times.
Grand Theft Auto
You may skip your turn to destroy a Cop token. Action: If you control no Cop tokens, then gain control of a Thing and put a Cop token into play.
If a Thing (other than this one) has a Sapper token on it, its card text is blank. If it has three Sapper tokens, destroy it. Action: Put a Sapper token onto any Thing.
Action: Destroy any number of Things you control.
Destroy five Money tokens and a Thing you control. Gain five cards and ten Money tokens.
The Best Things In Life Are Free
Put target Thing under your control.