Hour of randomness

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Hour of Randomness Deck

Hour of randomness
Designer eskimoboy
Date 7/02/2009
Players 2+
This is an unfinished deck. It is incomplete, and is not playable.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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This deck is locked. Further cards should not be added - leave feedback on the talk page.

In the Hour of Randomness deck, players start with 3 "lives" and fight to eliminate their opponents with cards like Nuclear Apocalypse and Water is Splashy.
Your only defense may come in the form of the sturdy and dangerous Electric Barbed Wire Pit Trap With Poison Spikes or the shining beacon of safety, the Unreliable Bodyguard.

Special Rules

HP: Each player starts with 3 health tokens. If you run out of health tokens, you lose.
Defender Things: Defender Things have a value in the corner. This represents its HP, and it comes into play with that many health tokens.
If a Defender Thing has no health tokens, it is destroyed. As long as you control a Defender Thing, Actions and abilities that would harm you instead must target your Things.
For example, say you have "Large Rock" and your opponent plays "Ant-Sized Harpoon." Normally you would take 1 damage, but "Ant-Sized Harpoon" has to deal with Large Rock
before it can get to you. (fortunately by then it'll be in the discard pile).

1
Large Rock
Defender Thing
um.
It's a rock.
And it's big.
Card by eskimoboy
Ant-Sized Harpoon
Action
Deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
Card by eskimoboy


















Things without corner values: Things without corner values cannot be targeted by damage-dealing cards (they can still be destroyed by a "destroy" effect), but at
the same time, they don't protect you from harm. For example, "only i can see the moon's master plan" will not save you from "nuclear apocalypse."

only i can see the moon's master plan
Thing
You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand.
Action: look at the top card of the deck.
Card by eskimoboy
Nuclear Apocalypse
Action
Deal 3 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
it could be wor-
DONT SAY IT!
Card by eskimoboy


















Starting the Game: Each player draws five cards. They may then each play up to three Defender Things before the game begins, so as to not be slaughtered right
off the bat. Once both players are ready, flip a coin, play rock paper scissors, do flips off of a cliff, whatever floats your boat, to decide who should go first.
The turn structure is normal, in which the player draws a card, plays an Action, a Thing, or both, {or neither :) ), and play goes on to the next person.

Card List

1
Large Rock
Defender Thing
um.
It's a rock.
And it's big.
Card by eskimoboy
Ant-Sized Harpoon
Action
Deal 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player
How do I hold it?
Like an ant!

...What?
Card by eskimoboy
only i can see the moon's master plan
Thing
You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand.

Action: look at the top card of the deck.
Card by eskimoboy
Nuclear Apocalypse
Action
Deal 5 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
it could be wor-
DONT SAY IT!
Card by eskimoboy
Strength in Numbers
Action
Draw a card for each person that you are.
we don't have multiple personalities. *twitch*
Card by eskimoboy
The Pie Is Not All Mine
Action
Draw four cards. Give one to an opponent, and keep the rest.
Card by eskimoboy
6
Wall of Paper
Defender Thing
Action+Thing: destroy Wall of Paper. Any player may use this ability.
So I said to myself, self, it looks like that thing could survive a Nuclear Apocalypse. Then I looked closer.
Card by eskimoboy
2
Electric Barbed Wire Pit Trap With Poison Spikes
Defender Thing
Whenever this card takes any amount of damage, you may have this card deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
EBWPTWPS has a nice ring to it.
Card by eskimoboy
1
Cannon
Defender Thing
Action: deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
A pirate's card for me.
Card by eskimoboy
1
Piece of Glass
Defender Thing
Card by eskimoboy
Behold The God Who Is Not
Action
Deal 1 damage to all Defender Things and unprotected players.
If he's a "god" who isn't, then why do we fear his wra-

*struck by falling objects*
Card by eskimoboy
Corpse Recycler
Action
Take a Defender Thing with HP 3 or less out of the discard pile and into play under your control.
We recycle!
Card by eskimoboy
The Watchtower Is Watching
Thing
When anyone (even you! D:) plays a Defender Thing, flip a coin. On heads, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage.
Card by eskimoboy
1
Meme
Defender Thing
While Meme is in play, all Defender Things are counted as having 1 HP.
imma firin' mah
NINE THOUSAANND!
Card by eskimoboy
1
Asylum
Defender Thing
Play on a Thing or Defender Thing.
Treat that Thing's text as blank.
Card by eskimoboy
Mystery Bob's Mystery Lair
Thing
Action: regenerate 1 point of health on a Defender Thing you control, up to its original maximum. That Defender Thing cannot protect you this turn.
...of mystery.
Card by eskimoboy
Water Is Splashy
Action
Choose one:
Deal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player.
OR
Deal 1 damage to two separate Defender Things or unprotected players.
Card by eskimoboy
Suddenly Mercenaries
Action
Note the number of Things each player controls. Shuffle all Things in play together, and return a number of Things to each player equal to the number of Things that they started with.
...sounds better that Quickly Traitors.
Card by eskimoboy
2
Unreliable Bodyguard
Defender Thing
Whenever Unreliable Bodyguard would be dealt damage, flip a coin. On heads, you take 1 damage and Unreliable Bodyguard remains unharmed. On tails, Unreliable Bodyguard takes damage as normal.
For the last time, BAGELS ARE NO REASON TO ABANDON THE PRESIDENT!
Card by eskimoboy
X
Pack of Zombies
Defender Thing
This card comes into play with 3 zombie tokens on it. This card's HP is the number of zombie tokens on it.
Action: move a zombie token onto a Thing. You control Things with zombie tokens on them. When this card leaves play, destroy all zombie tokens and return all taken Things to their owners.
Card by eskimoboy
Shoot It
Action
Deal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player.
Card by eskimoboy
3
5-Foot Thick Depleted Uranium Walls
Defender Thing
Well, it looks very sturdy, but how do you breathe in there? Are there air holes or something? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose if you had to keep opening the door to get air? And what do you do about the radiation?
Shut up.
Card by eskimoboy
We Need More Bombs
Action
Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player, then flip a coin. On heads, do 1 more damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. Repeat this process until tails comes up.
Card by eskimoboy
The Carpet Has Betrayed Us
Action
Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player.
Card by eskimoboy
Low Self Esteem
Action
Reduce the HP of target Defender Thing to 1.
It won't kill 'em, but it helps.
Card by eskimoboy
Invis-o-Bill
Action
Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing.
Card by eskimoboy
Super Sniper Rifle
Action
Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing.
It shoots super bullets at super long range with super accuracy for super effectiveness against infantry, unless the rifle is fulfilling a super anti-materiel role, in which case it disables the target with super efficiency.
Card by eskimoboy
2
Untrained Defensive Troops
Defender Thing
If Untrained Defensive Troops is dealt damage but not destroyed, return it to your hand.
They're shootin' at us! RUN!
Card by eskimoboy
4
Swiss Bank
Defender Thing
You may place one card face down under Swiss Bank.
Action+Discard a card: Put the face down card under Swiss Bank into play under your control. If Swiss Bank is destroyed, the opponent may put the face down card under it into their hand.
Card by eskimoboy
...With Necromancy Action!
Action
Return a Thing from the discard pile to play under your control. If it is a Defender Thing, it has 1 HP
Card by eskimoboy
1
The Only Duplicates
Defender Thing
If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one.
I'm feeling uncreative.
Card by eskimoboy
1
The Only Duplicates
Defender Thing
If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one.
I'm feeling uncreative.
Card by eskimoboy
Nobody Has To Die Today
Action
If no one controls any Defender Things, you win the game.
Card by eskimoboy
1
The Antithesis To Coherent Thought
Defender Thing
If The Antithesis To Coherent Thought is destroyed, you must discard a card at random, take 1 damage, and destroy a Thing you control.
Action: put an insane counter on this card. if there are 3 insane counters on this card, you win.
So insane it just might work.
Card by eskimoboy
Really Great Medic
Action
Your HP becomes 3. Play only if you have 1 HP or control no Defender Things.
Next time, you might not be so lucky.
(well, for sure you won't, because there's only one Really Great Medic and no way to retrieve Action cards. So you won't be so lucky next time.)
Card by eskimoboy
Slow-Acting Poison
Thing
Play Slow-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of each of that Defender Thing's controller's turns, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage.
The slow but sure version of Fast-Acting Poison.
Card by eskimoboy
Fast-Acting Poison
Thing
Play Fast-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of the Defender Thing's controller's turn, the Defender Thing takes 3 damage and Fast-Acting poison is destroyed.
The fast version of Slow-Acting Poison.
Card by eskimoboy
A Messy Death
Action
Destroy a Thing, but not a Defender Thing.
ew.
Card by eskimoboy
Hand Grenade Tennis
Action
Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. The target may discard a card to take control of Hand Grenade Tennis and choose a new target to take damage. (Who also gets a chance to discard a card, continuing the sequence.)
Card by eskimoboy
Minefield
Action
Deal 3 damage to a Defender Thing.
Card by eskimoboy
Underestimate The Opposition
Action
Play only if you have less Things in play than your opponent(s).
Target player destroys a Defender Thing they control or takes 1 damage.
Oh. So there are ten THOUSAND of them.
Card by eskimoboy
look how existing i am
Action
Regain any health lost in the previous turn.
you sure are.
Card by eskimoboy