Government Warehouse deck

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Government Warehouse
Designers Atticus, his friends
Date Made over a long period of time, uploaded 5/22/08
Players 2+
This deck has not been categorised.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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I was playing around with the concept of a game set in a government warehouse, where each card was the contents of a box. My friends and I played around with it, and some of the cards stopped having any place in the warehouse, but the game became fun. There is two ways to win listed on the cards, but anything you can think of to escape the warehouse is fair game, except where noted.

Special Rules

Drawing and Playing

There are no hands in the government warehouse. At the beginning of the game, the first player draws a card and plays it. Actions consist of anything you can think of do to with that card. If the other players debate the logic of your move, then vote on it. Ties favor the dissenter.

On each turn

You play only destroy, search for, steal, etc. one card per turn. You must wait one turn between setting up an escape attempt and escaping, except in the case of the Key to the Door and the Super Bar.

Number of things

You may only have five things, unless you put things inside other things, or equip things to other things (Was that confusing? I bet it was confusing). If something is destroyed while it has something equipped to it or in it, all attached cards are also destroyed.

All things are assumed to have unlimited resources. Guns never run out of ammo, cars never need refueling, etc. This does not apply to food unless the food is in the plural form. Destroying a thing means the entire pile of cookies, scarabs, etc. is gone as well.

Other

Some cards create their own special rules. Follow them as needed.


Card List

Cookies
Thing
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
Anonymous Seed
Thing
Not sure what it grows.
Mace 'N Chain
Thing
Don't know why this is in the warehouse.
Force Field Generator
Thing
Generates a force field.
Security Uniform
Thing
Disguise yourself.
Mind Bender
Thing
More like a reality bender.
Apple of Knowledge
Thing
Consumption grants infinite wisdom.
Caveman
Thing
Frozen in a block of ice.
Yeti
Thing
Stuffed in "lifelike" pose.
The Ice Gun
Thing
Fires bullets made of ice. Killed JFK.
Degree in Anythingology
Thing
Degree in anything but not everything. Comes with one of those hats.
The Holy Grail
Thing
Drink from it to become immortal. Does not come with a beverage.
Martian Corpse
Thing
Very dead.
DeLorean
Thing
Time-traveling car.
Phone Booth
Thing
Time-traveling phone booth.
Pandora's Box
Thing
Mythology people know that the only thing left in here is raw despair.
Jimmy Hoffa
Thing
Dead body preserved in cryo-pod.
Insta-Cure
Thing
Rule: Upon consumption, you are immune to the effects of disease for the rest of the game. Cures any disease. Effects last for 24 hours.
The Levitator
Thing
Self-explanatory.
Shuriken
Thing
Y'know, ninja stars.
H-Bomb Penny
Thing
Sound-activated, just flip it and shout "Boom!"
Andromeda Strain
Thing
Rule: Release of this disease kills everyone not immune to disease, or alive but not breathing. Trapped in bottle. Kills within minutes by blood clotting. Airborne.
Freddy's Glove
Thing
In addition to murder weapon, it makes a lovely culinary utensil.
Whip
Thing
Whips things, like Indianapolis Jones.
Titanium Elastic
Thing
Stretches to lengths just beyond reasonable, plus it's made of titanium!
IMPOSSIBLE THINGS
Thing
An Escher cube and a Penrose triangle.
Guitar Hero Guitar
Thing
Playing the guitar will cause the entire song to play.
One Man Alien Craft
Thing
Relation to Martian Corpse unknown.
Bottomless Can of Gasoline
Thing
The oil crisis really is fake!
Meteorite
Thing
Radioactive. I don't know how. Just go with it.
AIDS V2.38
Thing
Rule: Release of this disease kills everyone who is not immune to disease, or alive and not breathing. Airborne. Mix of HIV, influenza, and e.coli (Wait, would that even work?). 24 hours to death.
Suitcase Nuke
Thing
A nuke and trigger hidden in a suitcase.
Necrophone
Thing
Made by Edison. Enables one to speak with the dead.
Live Dinosaur
Thing
Last survivor of Jurassic Park.
Kenny McCormick
Thing
Rule: All attacks are now directed at Kenny, or things next to him. Also, he's indestructable. Please avoid standing next to him.
Hookshot
Thing
Gauntlet mixed with a grappling hook.
Cure for Cancer
Thing
Liquid or tablet form. Disguised as rat poison.
Real Stonehenge
Thing
Resembles a firing range made of rock.
Heart of Gold
Thing
Equipped with Infinite Improbability Drive, and one annoying computer.
Duct Tape
Thing
Just in case.
Blackbeard's Shovel
Thing
Used to bury treasure.
Oddjob's Hat
Thing
With steel rim.
T-Virus Syringe
Thing
Causes super-strength, enlarged body size, and mild ZOMBIFICATION!
Super Bar
Thing
Satisfies hunger and thirst for a week. Tastes like anti-chicken. Note: If the deck runs out of cards, and you at some point during the game ate the Super Bar or have it, then you win.
Dr. Coca-Pepsi
Thing
Never loses its fizz.
Shield
Thing
Indestructible. Property of Captain America.
Hitler's Brain-in-a-Jar
Thing
Don't break glass.
Mach Rider's Motorcycle
Thing
Machine guns attached to handlebars.
Weapon Locker
Thing
Contains arsenal of conventional weapons.
Bomb Gun
Thing
Emits a laser sight. Firing makes the targeted object implode.
Robot Arm
Thing
Remains of T-800.
Empty Box
Thing
This box intentionally left blank.
Starbucks
Thing
They're everywhere!
Lightsaber
Thing
A pink lightsaber.
Mystery Egg
Thing
Hatches into something.
Thor's Hammer
Thing
Has electromagnetic properties. Also electric properties.
Radiation Beam
Thing
Fires concentrated radiation. The kind that gives superpowers and cancer, not the kind that kills on the spot.
The Killer Joke
Thing
In English and German. Death by laughter will occur five minutes after reading.
Scarabs
Thing
Hungry. Have a penchant for flesh eating.
Space-Time Continuum Eraser
Thing
Completely erases things from space and time.
Diet Pills
Thing
On consumption, you will reach your ideal body weight for your height within two weeks, regardless of what your eat.
Grab Bag
Thing
Contains any item, but the item is stolen.
The Monkey's Paw
Thing
Corrupts your wishes in the worst way possible.
Lighter + Aerosol
Thing
Improv flamethrower.
Invisibility Cloak
Thing
Size XXXXL
Holy Hand Grenade
Thing
Count to three and throw.
Dark Bulb
Thing
Reduces the light in a room.
Bag of Holding
Thing
Holds infinite items.
Ark of the Covenant
Thing
Contents may cause electrocution.
Proton Pack
Thing
The gravity gun for Ghostbusters, for those with trouble remembering names.
Perpetual Motion Machine
Thing
It's turned off.
Neuralizer
Thing
Erases memories, including the memories of having superpowers.
Key to the Door
Thing
If you have four other objects, then escape the warehouse and show the world what the government is hiding. The objects don't count if they are too mundane to make a difference to the world.