To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
cleardeckskipcard hb/When me and Grandpa used to hunt Dinosaurs/Thing/Everybody may use this Thing's abilities.<BR>Action: Destroy target living Thing controlled by opponent. If you do, gain a tooth token.<BR> Action: If you control two or more tooth tokens, eliminate a player with no living Things in play. (""Everything was better back then."")skipcard hb/The Gloves Are Off/Thing/If a player is forced to discard a card, but has no cards in their hand, they are eliminated.skipcard hb/The Necronomicon/Thing/For every Insanity token in play, your hand size is reduced by one. Action: Draw three cards, and put an Insanity token into play.skipcard hb/Going Through The Motions/Thing/When this comes into play, each player (starting with you) draws two cards and plays them both immediately. Repeat this until the game ends, or until this Thing is destroyed. Action abilities cannot be played.skipcard hr/Friendship Sandwiches/Action/Draw two cards plus one for every opponent; give every opponent one of those cards, and keep the other two.skipcard hb/Robot Sentries/Thing/Return Robot Sentries to your hand when an opponent plays a Thing to return that Thing to your opponent's hand. Destroy Robot Sentries when an opponent plays a Thing to destroy that Thing.skipcard hy/Noodly Appendage/Action/Put a living Thing from the discard pile into play under your control.skipcard hb/Taunting the Spy/Thing/You have no hand size limit. If you have fewer than ten cards in your hand, you cannot win the game or eliminate any players. Action: Draw a card.skipcard hx/Secured derivitive (-10000$)/bad debt/if discarded you win ("Its not a thing nor an action card and is therefore unplayable")skipcard hb/Charnel house (Z1)/Thing/Every time one of your living things would be destroyed, you may remove it from the game and create a zombie token instead.skipcard hb/Haunted House (G9)/Thing/may be played on another player, owner must discard a card to take an action.skipcard hb/If I Had A Hammer/Thing/You cannot play Action cards, or use the Action ability of any other Thing. Action: Destroy a Thing.skipcard hr/Howling Wind/Action/Every player takes a random card from the player on their left, then discards a card.skipcard hb/Staredown/Thing/When this card comes into play, every player secretly chooses a number of cards to discard and then discards them; whoever discarded the most gains control of this card. On a tie, the tied players may bid additional discards for control. Action: Destroy this card and take another turn.skipcard hr/Disarm/Action/Every player must either destroy all Things under their control that can destroy other Things or discard their hand.skipcard hb/Bubble Ghost/Thing/Action: Give control of this Thing to a player who controls no Things, and draw five cards.skipcard hb/Broken Fusebox/Thing/Action: Activate the Action ability of another Thing you control three times, then destroy that Thing.skipcard hb/Sins of the Father/Thing/Whenever any non-token Thing is destroyed, the player who destroyed it gains a Sin token. Any player with a Sin token may not win the game. Any player may destroy a Sin token they control instead of drawing at the beginning of their turn.skipcard hr/Security Council Resolutions/Action/Every player creates one card. Put these cards to a vote on whether to be shuffled into the draw pile. If assent is not unanimous for any one of them, none are shuffled in.skipcard hr/Mersenne Mania/Action/Any player who controls 2<sup>n</sup>-1 Things, for prime n, may draw n cards.skipcard hb/Dropped Brain/Thing/When a player attempts to draw a card when the deck is empty, eliminate that player and destroy this card. (""Are you still serving breakfast?" "Uh, today, or, like, in general?"")skipcard hb/The Eye of a Needle/Thing/If a player has one or more cards in their hand, they may not win the game.skipcard hb/Will Work For Food/Thing/Action: Gain control of a living Thing. Any player may play this ability.skipcard hr/Unfair polling (D22)/Action/Take a vote for the winner the owner of this card gets 3 votesskipcard hx/Over Full Graveyard (Z2)/Thing/if there are more than 10 living things in the discard pile living things that go to the discard pile are removed from the game and are replaced by a zombie token instead.skipcard hb/Super Computer (Cray5)/Thing/Your max hand size is increased by 27 (""I'm sorry Dave I can't do that" -Hal3000")skipcard hr/In This Week's Episode/Action/Reveal your hand. If you have any Things with Action abilities in your hand, you may play each of those abilities once.skipcard hb/Boîte Diabolique/Thing/All sound-related cards are disabled. ("It houses the 19 forbidden notes.")skipcard hb/Mall Drug Store Nerf/Thing/For every card created by Kevan played, create a drama token and put it into play. ("10/14/08: NEVAR FORGET")skipcard hb/Turban Dead/Thing/Action: Destroy all things with no flavour text. ("Oh no, they're not getting me.")skipcard hr/WKRP Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway/Action/For each opponent, roll a die. Give that many Dead Turkey Tokens to that player, then roll another die and give half that many Turkey Tokens to that player.<BR>Destroy a random non-turkey thing for each living Turkey in play ("I swear to God I thought they could fly.")skipcard hb/Prototype Isochron Sceptre/Thing/When this comes into play, attach an Action card from your hand to it.<BR>Action: This ability has an identical effect to the Action card attached to Prototype Isochron Sceptre, but you must discard a card to play it.skipcard hr/Wait A Minute.../Action/Pause the game for 60 seconds.skipcard hx/The Gods Made Heavy Metal/Thing/Draw two cards at the start of your turns. Destroy this card if you do not play both an Action and a Thing during your turn. Action: Destroy target Thing unless its controller agrees to trade it to you for a chosen Thing you control.skipcard hr/From Hour to Hour We Ripe and Ripe/Action/Discard a card, then draw three cards and play one of them.skipcard hr/Castle/Action/Return a Thing you control to your hand and replace it with a Thing from your hand.skipcard hb/Permab&hammer/Thing/Action: Eliminate a player.skipcard hb/Finish What's On Your Plate/Thing/Players may not draw cards if they already have one or more cards in their hand.skipcard hx/Assimite Vampire (V2)/Thing/When this card has more than 100 tokens on it remove it and its tokens from play. <BR>Action: Destroy a living thing add a blood token to card. <BR>Action: Take control of another token, put on this card.skipcard hr/political wrangling/Action/Take a vote to either "A: Owner takes another turn." or "T: game ends the owner of the most non token things wins." In case of a tie the card gets shuffled into the draw pile.skipcard hg/Dimensional Shift (D1)/Action/play a card from the discard pileskipcard hb/Jumping the Shark/Thing/Players may play any number of Things and Actions on their turn. Nobody may win or be eliminated while this is in play. This card cannot be destroyed by its owner.skipcard hr/Memory Tray/Action/Hide an opponent's view of the game, then read out the name of all but one Thing they control. If they cannot identify the unnamed Thing within thirty seconds, it is destroyed.skipcard hb/Soulhunter/Thing/If a Soul token leaves play, its controller is eliminated. Action: Give a Soul token to each player who doesn't have one.skipcard hb/Lucky Penny/Thing/If an opponent wins the game, you win too. If a card claims to eliminate you, you are not eliminated; all opponents toss a coin, those with Tails are eliminated. Any opponent may, at the beginning of their turn, take control of this card in return for your choice of any two of their Things in play or all the cards in their hand.skipcard hx/Zugzwang/Thing/The next player to play a Thing, play an Action, create or destroy a Token, or use an Action: or Thing: ability - is eliminated. %r Action: eliminate yourself. ("Chess position where neither player can safely move.")skipcard hb/Cool Sunglasses (8D)/Thing/Your hand size is increased by one. If one of your Things would be destroyed, flip a coin to prevent its destruction and draw a card instead.skipcard hb/Upwardly Mobile Dude/Thing/Draw an extra card at the beginning of your turn for every opponent who controls more Things than you.skipcard hr/Insane New Dance Move/Action/Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards.skipcard hb/Capacious Sleeves/Thing/Action: Discard a card, then draw a card.skipcard hb/The Extinction of the Language Taguma-Le/Thing/Senseless sentences and sentences that are not entirely English are ignored. Any player may use this Thing's abilities. Wakka fogo Wede tat digrlada. Zemesetes nogo putt i. Nogo fogo fu.<BR>Action: Replace all instances of a non-English word on this card with an English word of your choice.skipcard hb/Librarian on Speed/Thing/You may play this under an opponent's control. Whenever you discard cards, draw a card and discard down to your hand size limit. If you draw 20 or more cards in a row, you are eliminated. (""I'm the librarian and I'll take any drugs in the world I want!"")skipcard hb/Historical Society/Thing/Players may draw the top card of the discard pile instead of drawing a card. (""You are banned from this historical society! You, and your children, and your children's children .... for three months."")skipcard hb/Evil Tome/Thing/At the beginining of your turn destroy a token or evil tome. <BR>Action: Discard a card draw and play a card <BR>Action: Destroy one of your tokens, destroy a thing <BR>Action: Discard a card Create 10 tokens of any typeskipcard hr/Rock monster (D2)/Thing/Action: Replace a thing with a rubble token.skipcard hr/Gate (D1)/Action/Discard your hand remove all of another's players things from the gameskipcard hb/Inordinate Optimism/Thing/Action: Destroy a Lovecraft-related card.skipcard hr/Promoting your Pawn/Action/Destroy a token you control. If you do, write: "Action: Destroy target tangible inanimate Thing." onto target Thing. ("And he becomes a queen.")skipcard hb/José Raúl Capablanca/Thing/Action: Destroy target chess player.<BR>Action: Win a tournament: Gain 1 money token. ("The master. The one and only.")skipcard hb/Alexander Alexandrovich Alekhine/Thing/Cannot be destroyed, unless destroying player destroys 10,000 money tokens he controls.<BR>Action: Destroy José Raúl Capablanca.<BR>Action and Thing: Win a tournament: Gain 1 money token.skipcard hb/Poison Gas Vent/Thing/At the start of each player's turn, they must put a Gas token into play. If a player controls ten Gas tokens, they are eliminated.skipcard hr/This Is Not My Beautiful House/Action/Pick a number from one to three. Each player must destroy that many Things they control.skipcard hr/I've got Superpowers, but I use them only to make money/Thing/If you control 30 or more money tokens, you win.<BR>Action: Unless an opponent destroys a non-token Thing he controls, gain a money token for every non-token Thing in play, but maximally 10 money tokens per turn.skipcard hb/My God, I'm an Ant!/Thing/You may play this under an opponent's control. Your hand size is one.<BR>Action: Use an Action or a Thing's Action ability from the discard pile.skipcard hb/My God, I'm a Giant!/Thing/You may play this under an opponent's control. Your hand size is increased by 5. Whenever you play a Thing, flip a coin. If tails, it is destroyed.<BR>Action: Destroy target living Thing.skipcard hr/Knight Fork (Nc6!)/Action/Choose two Things with the same background colour controlled by the same opponent. Opponent chooses which is destroyed.skipcard hb/Bishop Pin (Ba4!)/Thing/Choose two Things with the same background colour controlled by the same opponent. Note their names on this card. If the first one listed is destroyed, removed, or changes controller, the second one listed and Bishop Pin are destroyed.skipcard hb/Nirvana/Thing/This card cannot be destroyed by any material thing or action pertaining to a material thing. Nobody may win through control of tokens. ("Material wealth can only offer you so much. Spiritual wealth is a different matter.")skipcard hb/Ninth Circle/Thing/This card cannot be destroyed by any material thing or action pertaining to a material thing. Nobody may be eliminated through control of tokens. ("Wealth of every description is your downfall, but fear of the hellfire keeps you from misusing it.")skipcard hb/Marriage/Thing/Choose an opponent of any gender. You and that opponent are partners. If either wins, both win, if either loses, both lose. At the beginning of each turn place an Anniversary token on this card. Destroy Marriage when it holds 7 Anniversary tokens. ("HOW many four-slice toasters???")skipcard hb/Positron Uprising/Thing/All cards except this one have the text "ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH".<br /> Action: Destroy this card. ("Do the impossible, see the invisible.")skipcard hb/Sicilian Dragon (G6)/Thing/When this card comes into play, discard down to one card. Your hand size limit is seven. Draw two cards at the beginning of your turns.skipcard hr/Moral Victory/Action/Target Thing's controller must either destroy that Thing or show you their hand.skipcard hb/No One's Head Shall Be Higher Than King's/Thing/No player may control more Things than you do. If any player does when this card enters play, they must destroy their Things until they control as many as you.skipcard hb/B-Movie fest (B2)/Thing (rule)/Destroy this at the begining of your turn. When this comes into play move all living things under this card. When it leaves play shuffle and deal living things back to all players.skipcard hb/Zombie grinder (Z2)/Thing/Action: Destroy a zombie to make a Green food token. (""Soylet Green, it's made of people."")skipcard hb/Jeff Gruber (2G)/Thing/Action: Daring Fireball destroys one thing. (""Oh yeah, well you suck." -JG")skipcard hr/Prophet's Work/Action/Create a new card, of type "thing". Name it [random page on Wiktionary]ism and make its text forbid [random page on Wikipedia](s) from being in play, then put it into play. You may transliterate non-Latin titles.skipcard hg/Pharmaceutical Giant/Thing/Action: Remove 10 money tokens you own, and create and put the card "Expensive New Drug" from the archive into play.skipcard hm/Expensive New Drug/Thing/When this is played, choose any effects that can directly affect a thing, erase this sentence, note them on this card, and play this onto a thing. The card this card is on is protected from the effects you chose. At the beginning of your turn, remove a money token that you own or destroy this card.<br />Action: Move this card onto another thing.skipcard hb/Random Peril (1)/Thing/Whenever a d6 is rolled, any player rolling a 1 is immediately eliminated. Whenever a coin is tossed, any player tossing Heads must roll a d6. ("Baby needs a new pair of .... *&%*$%")skipcard hr/Today is [weekday]!/Action/Draw <i>n</i> cards. On Monday <i>n</i> is 1, on Tuesday <i>n</i> is 2... on Sunday <i>n</i> is 7. If today is Friday the 13th, draw 13 cards and destroy 13 things. (Consider "[weekday]" in the card's title the weekday it is currently, except on Friday the 13th, in which case it is "Friday the 13th".) All times described in this card are UTC.skipcard hb/The Card that Changes its Text by the Hour/Thing/This card has the text of the <i>n</i>th card of the Infinite Dvorak deck. <i>n</i> = ( ([current hour] + [current day of month] + [current month] + [current year]) x [current day of week] (Monday = 1, Sunday = 7)) (in hh-dd-mm-yy format). All times described in this card are UTC. Add "Action:" in front of the text if the card is an action card.skipcard hb/Member Bonus/Thing/All players who have an account on the DvorakMUSH may draw an extra card at the beginning of their turn. ("Of course it's unfair. That's the whole point.")skipcard hb/Hot Potato (0)/Thing/Play into control of an opponent. At the end of your (controller's) turn, roll a d6. On a 1 you are eliminated. Hot Potato is a living thing and a food. %rAction: Give Hot Potato to an opponent. ("Catch!")skipcard hb/If I Had A Penny/Thing/Whenever a card is played, you may put a Money token into play.skipcard hb/Fire Sale (123)/Thing/When an opponent is eliminated, you act as auctioneer to auction off his/her non-token Things (singly) and hand (as one lot). Bids are in tokens: any tokens the bidder controls may be used. Winner of a Thing must put it in play immediately. Winner of the hand adds it to his/her hand. Items not bid for are destroyed. You may not bid. Winning bids are paid off to you, but you may destroy any tokens you receive this way.skipcard hb/Musical Chairs (n - 1)/Thing/Create a Chair token. Give a new Chair token to an opponent. Anyone with a Chair token may use the action ability: %r Action: Give a new Chair token to an oppenent. %r If all players but one have a Chair token, eliminate that player and destroy Musical Chairs and all Chair tokensskipcard hb/Zombified Plumber/Thing/discard a card to play, whenever one of your tokens would be destroyed you may replace it with a sewage token. (""Would you really let him work on your pipes?"")skipcard hb/Token Catapult/Thing/Action: destroy two tokens destroy thing. <BR>Action: destroy three tokens target player discards a card.skipcard hb/Zombie Catapult/Thing/Action: Destroy two zombies destroy target thing if living replace with a Zombie token.skipcard hr/Rewrite History (H1)/Action/Reorder the discard pile.skipcard hr/You're History (H2)/Action/Put target thing on the bottom of the discard pile.skipcard hr/Make History (H3)/Action/Play this card at any time. Draw a card and play up to three actions or action abilities. (""History shall speak well of me, for I intend to write it."<BR>--Winston Churchill")skipcard hr/Hostile Takeover/Action/Any player who controls more Things than every other player combined wins.skipcard hr/Y3K/Action/Destroy all electronics-related Things.skipcard hb/Mystery Science Theater 3000/Thing/Any Thing is destroyed if, immediately after it is played, each of its controller's opponents discards a card in ridicule.skipcard hr/Proletariat Revolution/Action/Any player who controls more Things than every other player combined is eliminated.skipcard hr/Esuna/Reaction/Play immediately when a card affecting you is played to negate its effect; if it is a Thing, it is destroyed.skipcard hx/Integral Multiple of a Power of Ten (Evil)/Thing - Math/When this card comes into play, destroy all Things whose cornervalues contain prime numbers. Action: Add a 0 to the end of a number expressed in numeral form on any card and return this card to your hand. Affected cards revert if this card goes to the discard pile.@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Infinite Dvorak deck/Cards 2901-3000 into the Dvorak Engine.