To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
cleardeckskipcard hx/Large Rock (1)/Defender Thing/ ("um.%rIt's a rock.%rAnd it's big.")skipcard hb/Ant-Sized Harpoon/Action/Deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.skipcard hx/only i can see the moon's master plan/Thing/You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand.%rAction: look at the top card of the deck.skipcard hr/Nuclear Apocalypse/Action/Deal 3 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. ("it could be wor-%rDONT SAY IT!")skipcard hx/Large Rock (1)/Defender Thing/ ("um.%rIt's a rock.%rAnd it's big.")skipcard hb/Ant-Sized Harpoon/Action/Deal 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player ("How do I hold it? %r Like an ant! %r%r...What?")skipcard hx/only i can see the moon's master plan/Thing/You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand.%r%rAction: look at the top card of the deck.skipcard hr/Nuclear Apocalypse/Action/Deal 5 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. ("it could be wor-%rDONT SAY IT!")skipcard hr/Strength in Numbers/Action/Draw a card for each person that you are. ("we don't have multiple personalities. *twitch*")skipcard hr/The Pie Is Not All Mine/Action/Draw four cards. Give one to an opponent, and keep the rest.skipcard hw/Wall of Paper (6)/Defender Thing/Action+Thing: destroy Wall of Paper. Any player may use this ability. ("So I said to myself, self, it looks like that thing could survive a Nuclear Apocalypse. Then I looked closer.")skipcard hx/Electric Barbed Wire Pit Trap With Poison Spikes (2)/Defender Thing/Whenever this card takes any amount of damage, you may have this card deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. ("EBWPTWPS has a nice ring to it.")skipcard hx/Cannon (1)/Defender Thing/Action: deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. ("A pirate's card for me.")skipcard hw/Piece of Glass (1)/Defender Thing/skipcard hr/Behold The God Who Is Not/Action/Deal 1 damage to all Defender Things and unprotected players. ("If he's a "god" who isn't, then why do we fear his wra- %r%r *struck by falling objects*")skipcard hx/Corpse Recycler/Action/Take a Defender Thing with HP 3 or less out of the discard pile and into play under your control. ("We recycle!")skipcard hy/The Watchtower Is Watching/Thing/When anyone (even you! D:) plays a Defender Thing, flip a coin. On heads, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage.skipcard hb/Meme (1)/Defender Thing/While Meme is in play, all Defender Things are counted as having 1 HP. ("imma firin' mah%r NINE THOUSAANND!")skipcard hc/Asylum (1)/Defender Thing/Play on a Thing or Defender Thing.%rTreat that Thing's text as blank.skipcard hx/Mystery Bob's Mystery Lair/Thing/Action: regenerate 1 point of health on a Defender Thing you control, up to its original maximum. That Defender Thing cannot protect you this turn. ("...of mystery.")skipcard hb/Water Is Splashy/Action/Choose one:%rDeal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player.%rOR%rDeal 1 damage to two separate Defender Things or unprotected players.skipcard hg/Suddenly Mercenaries/Action/Note the number of Things each player controls. Shuffle all Things in play together, and return a number of Things to each player equal to the number of Things that they started with. ("...sounds better that Quickly Traitors.")skipcard hx/Unreliable Bodyguard (2)/Defender Thing/Whenever Unreliable Bodyguard would be dealt damage, flip a coin. On heads, you take 1 damage and Unreliable Bodyguard remains unharmed. On tails, Unreliable Bodyguard takes damage as normal. ("For the last time, BAGELS ARE NO REASON TO ABANDON THE PRESIDENT!")skipcard hg/Pack of Zombies (X)/Defender Thing/This card comes into play with 3 zombie tokens on it. This card's HP is the number of zombie tokens on it.%rAction: move a zombie token onto a Thing. You control Things with zombie tokens on them. When this card leaves play, destroy all zombie tokens and return all taken Things to their owners.skipcard hx/Shoot It/Action/Deal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player.skipcard hx/5-Foot Thick Depleted Uranium Walls (3)/Defender Thing/ ("Well, it looks very sturdy, but how do you breathe in there? Are there air holes or something? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose if you had to keep opening the door to get air? And what do you do about the radiation?%rShut up.")skipcard hg/We Need More Bombs/Action/Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player, then flip a coin. On heads, do 1 more damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. Repeat this process until tails comes up.skipcard hr/The Carpet Has Betrayed Us/Action/Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player.skipcard hy/Low Self Esteem/Action/Reduce the HP of target Defender Thing to 1. ("It won't kill 'em, but it helps.")skipcard hb/Invis-o-Bill/Action/Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing.skipcard hg/Super Sniper Rifle/Action/Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. ("It shoots super bullets at super long range with super accuracy for super effectiveness against infantry, unless the rifle is fulfilling a super anti-materiel role, in which case it disables the target with super efficiency.")skipcard hr/Untrained Defensive Troops (2)/Defender Thing/If Untrained Defensive Troops is dealt damage but not destroyed, return it to your hand. ("They're shootin' at us! RUN!")skipcard hx/Swiss Bank (4)/Defender Thing/You may place one card face down under Swiss Bank.%rAction+Discard a card: Put the face down card under Swiss Bank into play under your control. If Swiss Bank is destroyed, the opponent may put the face down card under it into their hand.skipcard hx/...With Necromancy Action!/Action/Return a Thing from the discard pile to play under your control. If it is a Defender Thing, it has 1 HPskipcard hb/The Only Duplicates (1)/Defender Thing/If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one. ("I'm feeling uncreative.")skipcard hb/The Only Duplicates (1)/Defender Thing/If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one. ("I'm feeling uncreative.")skipcard hx/Nobody Has To Die Today/Action/If no one controls any Defender Things, you win the game.skipcard hx/The Antithesis To Coherent Thought (1)/Defender Thing/If The Antithesis To Coherent Thought is destroyed, you must discard a card at random, take 1 damage, and destroy a Thing you control.%rAction: put an insane counter on this card. if there are 3 insane counters on this card, you win. ("So insane it just might work.")skipcard hr/Really Great Medic/Action/Your HP becomes 3. Play only if you have 1 HP or control no Defender Things. ("Next time, you might not be so lucky.%r(well, for sure you won't, because there's only one Really Great Medic and no way to retrieve Action cards. So you won't be so lucky next time.)")skipcard hg/Slow-Acting Poison/Thing/Play Slow-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of each of that Defender Thing's controller's turns, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage. ("The slow but sure version of Fast-Acting Poison.")skipcard hg/Fast-Acting Poison/Thing/Play Fast-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of the Defender Thing's controller's turn, the Defender Thing takes 3 damage and Fast-Acting poison is destroyed. ("The fast version of Slow-Acting Poison.")skipcard hr/A Messy Death/Action/Destroy a Thing, but not a Defender Thing. ("ew.")skipcard hb/Hand Grenade Tennis/Action/Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. The target may discard a card to take control of Hand Grenade Tennis and choose a new target to take damage. (Who also gets a chance to discard a card, continuing the sequence.)skipcard hx/Minefield/Action/Deal 3 damage to a Defender Thing.skipcard hw/Underestimate The Opposition/Action/Play only if you have less Things in play than your opponent(s).%rTarget player destroys a Defender Thing they control or takes 1 damage. ("Oh. So there are ten THOUSAND of them.")skipcard hx/look how existing i am/Action/Regain any health lost in the previous turn. ("you sure are.")@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Hour of randomness into the Dvorak Engine.