To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
cleardeck
loadcard hb/Fake Vomit/Thing/Action: Draw a card, then discard a card. ("What? Oh, yeah, that's, uh, kinda gross, I guess.")
loadcard hb/Whoopie Cushion/Thing/At the end of your turn, reveal your hand, then return this card to your hand. %r%r Action: Give control of this card to any player.
loadcard hb/Banana Peel/Thing/If you would take damage, destroy this card and prevent that damage.
skipcard hb/Lock Your Boss Out/Thing/If a card played by an opponent would cause you to discard or reveal any cards from your hand, you may refuse.
loadcard hb/Trout in the Trunk/Thing/When this card comes into play, give control of it to any player. %r%r At the end of your turn, discard a card. %r%r Action: Destroy this card.
loadcard hb/Sardines in the Air Vents/Thing/Whenever a Thing changes controllers, if this card is in your hand, you may play this card and give control of it to that Thing's new controller. %r%r At the end of your turn, discard a card.
loadcard hb/Phony News Report/Thing/Each player draws one fewer card during his or her draw stage. %r%r At the end of each player's turn, he or she may flip a coin. Heads: destroy this card.
skipcard hb/Bucket of Whitewash/Thing/When another player plays a Thing from his or her hand, destroy this card and that Thing.
skipcard hb/Saran Wrapped Door/Thing/You may put this card into play at any time. If an Action card played by an opponent would cause damage to you, it destroys Saran Wrapped Door instead.
skipcard hb/Chinese Finger Trap/Thing/When this card comes into play, give control of it to any player. %r%r You may not play Actions. %r%r If you take any damage, destroy this card.
loadcard hb/Psychological Warfare/Thing/At the end of your turn, if there is a Shrinkage counter on this card, discard a card; otherwise, draw a card. %r%r Whenever you have 6 cards in your hand and there is no Shrinkage counter on this card, put a Shrinkage counter on this card.
loadcard hb/Joy Buzzer/Thing/Action: Flip a coin. Heads: Target player discards a card at random.
loadcard hb/Joy Buzzer, Overclocked/Thing/Action: Target player takes 1 damage. Flip a coin. Heads: You take 1 damage, and flip again.
loadcard hb/Cream Pie Fusillade/Thing/Action: Target player discards a card. Any player may play this ability, but only if they control this card or have been targeted by this card.
loadcard hb/"Kick Me" Sign/Thing/When this card comes into play, give control of it to any player. %r%r Action: Discard a card to inflict 1 damage on this card's controller. Any player may play this action. %r%r Action: Discard a card to destroy this card.
loadcard hb/Severed Limb, Fake/Thing/If this card is revealed from your hand, discard it. %r%r Action: Target player must discard an Action card from his or her hand, or reveal his or her hand to show there are no Action cards in it.
loadcard hb/Severed Limb, Real/Thing/At the start of each player's turn, if that player is damaged, that player takes 1 damage. ("It's all fun and games until someone loses an arm. Then it's hilarious.")
loadcard hb/Flaming Bag of Poop/Thing/When this card comes into play, give control of it to any player. %r%r At the end of your turn, take 1 damage. %r%r You may discard 2 cards with the same card type to destroy this card.
loadcard hb/Razor Tripwire/Thing/If any player takes damage, destroy this card and that player discards his or her hand. ("I told them to slice my sandwich!")
skipcard hb/Block the Emergency Exits/Thing/If a Surprise is revealed while this card is in play, each player takes 5 damage.
loadcard hr/April Fool's Day/Action/Draw a card. If it is April, draw a card. If it is the 1st of the month, draw a card.
loadcard hr/Card Force/Action/Choose one - Exchange control of a Thing you control and a Thing an opponent controls; or, take a card at random from any opponent's hand, then put a card from your hand into that opponent's hand. ("Pick a card, any card.")
loadcard hr/Ding Dong Ditch/Action/Target player reveals a card at random from his or her hand. You may return this card to your hand.
loadcard hr/Jake Day/Action/Gain 2 extra actions. If it is May, gain 1 extra action. If it is the 23rd of the month, gain 1 extra action.
loadcard hr/Jack-in-the-Box/Action/Return a Thing you control to your hand.
loadcard hr/Trick or Treat Postgame/Action/Each player discards a card. Then, in turn order starting with you, each player may return a card from the discard pile to his or her hand.
loadcard hr/Pantsing/Action/Target opponent reveals his or her hand. Choose a card from it. That player discards that card. ("Aww, it got smaller.")
loadcard hr/Full Moon/Action/Reveal your hand. Each opponent discards a card at random. ("I did NOT need to see that.")
loadcard hr/I Can Eat Glass/Action/Draw a card. %r%r When an opponent forces you to discard this card, draw three cards. ("It does not hurt me.")
loadcard hr/Sink/Action/Shuffle target Thing into the deck. ("UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or something equally as thoughtful.")
loadcard hr/Sink!/Action/Discard X Action cards to destroy X+1 Things. ("NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I sunk Columbus, Ohio!"")
loadcard hr/TP/Action/Draw 2 cards. Put a card from your hand into an opponent's hand.
loadcard hr/Snipe Hunt/Action/Target player may not play any cards on his or her next turn.
loadcard hr/Water Balloon Bombardment/Action/Each player may force a player of their choice, other than you, to discard a card at random.
loadcard hr/Shopping Cart Slingshot/Action/Discard your hand and draw 4 cards. Gain 1 extra action. Any opponent who has three cards in his or her hand may discard his or her hand and draw 4 cards.
loadcard hr/Prank Call/Action/Reveal a card from your hand. Target player reveals a card at random from his or her hand. If they are different card types, that player discards that card and you draw 3 cards.
loadcard hr/Exploding Cigar/Action/Each player decides "Yes" or "No" in secret, then all players reveal their choices simultaneously. If only one player chose "Yes", he or she draws 2 cards; otherwise, one random player that chose "Yes" takes 2 damage, then every other player that chose "Yes" draws 2 cards.
loadcard hr/Wedgie/Action/Target player takes 1 damage.
loadcard hr/Wedgie, Atomic/Action/Destroy X Things you control. Target player takes X damage.
loadcard hr/Egging/Action/Target player takes 2 damage and gains an extra Action on their next turn.
loadcard hr/Purple Nurple/Action/Discard a card. Target player takes 2 damage.
loadcard hr/Malfunctioning Rube Goldberg Device/Action/Each player rolls a six-sided die and discards that many cards from his or her hand. Then, each player who has any cards in his or her hand takes 2 damage. ("I don't know what just happened, but I'm pretty sure it was AWESOME.")
loadcard hr/Frame Your Wife For Murder/Action/Target player takes damage equal to his or her hand size minus the number of cards in his or her hand (minimum 0). You take damage equal to your hand size minus the number of cards in your hand (minimum 0). ("C'mon, honey, don't you get it?")
skipcard hg/Kick 'em While They're Down/Reaction/Play when a Thing is destroyed. Destroy another Thing controlled by the same player.
loadcard hg/Snake Nut Can/Reaction/Play when an opponent would draw cards outside of his or her draw stage. Prevent that draw and put this card in his or her hand.
loadcard hg/The Chewbacca Defense/Reaction/Play when a card is played. Discard two cards with different card types to cancel and discard that card. ("Look at the silly monkey!")
skipcard hg/Deadpan Glare/Reaction/Play after a Surprise is revealed by an opponent. On that opponent's next turn, they may not play any cards from their hand.
skipcard hg/Backfire/Reaction/Play when an opponent plays an Action. That player becomes the target.
loadcard hx/Hangin' Out/Surprise/If this card is revealed from your hand, you may heal 2 damage or draw a card. (""Hey, does anyone else feel a breeze?"")
loadcard hx/Black Powder Bomb, Lit/Surprise/If this card is revealed from your hand by an opponent, discard this card and that opponent takes 6 damage.
loadcard hx/Black Powder Bomb, Unlit/Surprise/If this card is revealed from your hand, discard this card and take 6 damage.
skipcard hr/Closet Pop-Up/Action/Each player changes hands with the player to his or her right. Then, each player discards a card from his or her new hand.
skipcard hr/Maple Syrup Balloon Attack/Action/Pick an opponent. Until the beginning of your next turn, their Things cannot be destroyed and they cannot play Actions.
skipcard hg/Mousetrap Gum/Reaction/Play when an opponent reduces or negates damage done to them. The damage gets done normally.
skipcard hx/Zap Calculator/Surprise/When this card is revealed to be in your hand, the revealing player throws their hand into the air and tries to catch as many cards as possible. They take X-Y damage, where X is the number of cards in their hand and Y is the number of cards that they caught. The cards they do not catch are destroyed.
skipcard hb/Prank Thief/Thing/Action: Target opponent reveals their hand. Then, play all the Actions in their hand as though you were playing them.
skipcard hb/Ball Bearings on the Floor/Thing/Whenever a target is needed, it is chosen randomly.
skipcard hb/Tack on the Chair/Thing/Whenever a Thing is played, the player who played it must discard a card.
skipcard hb/Scotland/Thing/Each turn, a player may play 2 Things and 2 Actions
skipcard hb/Monster Mask/Thing/+1 to all damage you do.
skipcard hr/Bar of Soap/Action/Deal 1 damage to target player.
skipcard hb/Joke Banner/Thing/Pick a player. Whenever a player must be targeted, it must be that player.
skipcard hb/Salt in the Sugar Bowl/Thing/When an Action is played, it stays in play like a Thing and its effect becomes an Action ability. Whenever a Thing (other than this one) is played, it goes directly to the discard pile like an Action. If its effect was continuous, it lasts until the end of its controller's next turn.
skipcard hr/Fish Slap/Action/Deal 2 damage to target player. On their next turn, that player may play 2 Actions.
skipcard hb/Everyone Loves the Classics/Thing/Instead of playing an Action from their hand, a player may play an Action from the discard pile.
skipcard hb/"Listen! There's a Celebrity at the Door!"/Thing/The next time a Thing is played by an opponent, destroy the Thing and this card.
skipcard hx/Extendo-Glove/Surprise/When this card is revealed to be in your hand, the revealing player takes 1 damage and discards a card from their hand.
skipcard hb/Veteran Prankster/Thing/You are not affected by Surprises. (""Pfffft."")
skipcard hr/Paintball Ambush/Action/Deal 3 damage to target player unless he/she discards their hand.
skipcard hb/Seltzer Bottle/Thing/Action: Target player discards their hand, is dealt 1 damage and draws a new hand. They may play any number of Reactions in response to this. On the third time you use this Action,destroy Seltzer Bottle.
skipcard hm/The Boss/Action/Thing/As an Action: Destroy all cards in play. No cards may be played until the beginning of your next turn.%rAs a Thing: All damage dealt to or from all players is reduced to 0.
skipcard hr/Chainsaw and Goalie Mask/Action/Deal 3 damage to each opponent. If no responses were played for this card, draw a card. (""You are sick!"")
skipcard hb/Jar of Bees/Thing/Action: Put a fullness marker on Jar of Bees. %rAction: Remove a fullness marker from this card. Roll a 6-sided die for each player. Each player is dealt damage equal to the die result.
skipcard hg/Rake on the Ground/Reaction/Negate target Action and deal its player 1 damage.
skipcard hb/Revenge is Sweet/Thing/Whenever a player plays a Reaction, they heal 1 damage.
skipcard hb/Toothpaste-Chip Cookies/Thing/When another player destroys Toothpaste-Chip Cookies, they take 1 damage and may play 2 Things.
skipcard hb/Squirting Flower/Thing/Action: Deal 2 damage to target opponent. You can only do this to each opponent once. Once you have used it on every other player once, destroy Squirting Flower.
skipcard hg/Bugs in the Ice/Reaction/Play when an opponent draws a card. They discard the card and you draw a card.
skipcard hr/Fake Arrest/Action/Deal 4 damage to target opponent. That player may, at any time, take an Action to deal 1 damage to you. They can do this only once.
skipcard hb/Water Bucket on the Door/Thing/The next time an opponent plays a card, negate it, destroy this card and deal 5 damage to them. (""You know it's the-ere."")
skipcard hr/I Know Who Likes You/Challenge/Any player may attempt to kiss any other player on the face and destroy this card. If they actually do kiss them, both players heal 3 damage.
skipcard hb/Playing Dumb/Thing/Whenever a card's text says 'destroy', take that to mean 'physically destroy'. Whenever a player is dealt damage, the dealing player punches them in the arm X times, where X is the number of damage dealt to the player. ("Duhhh...")
@emit [name(%#)] pastes the April Fools deck into the Dvorak Engine.