Dvorak Export: Unplayable Dvorak deck


Instructions

Adjust these settings until the cards fit comfortably, with the correct number per page, in your browser's Print Preview.

When you're happy with the settings, send all but the first page to your printer, and cut the cards out with something sharp. Either stick the results onto cardboard, slip them into deck-protectors with some spare CCG cards for padding, or just play with them as flimsy bits of paper.

Deck-Print Settings

Card Height :cm Title Box Height :cm
Card Width :cm Text Box, Min. Height :cm
Cards per Page :x Text Size :

Overkill
Action
Draw 999 cards.
Card : Zaratustra
Playing With a Full Deck
Thing
If you control a Heart, a Diamond, a Spade, and a Club, you win the game.
Card : jtwe (Infinite Dvorak deck)
A Little More Conversation
Action
Destroy an Action.
Card : Zaratustra
Coming up short
Action
Discard a number of cards equal to one plus the number of cards in your hand.
Card : Bucky
Silence
Thing
No cards may be played on the turn this enters play.
Card : Bucky
Echo
Action
Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your previous turn.
Card : Bucky
The Ultimate Pick-Up Line
Thing
Lick your eyebrows when this comes into play.
Card : Zaratustra
Oche
Action
Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your next turn.
Card : Zaratustra
Misfire
Action
Negate this Action.
Card : Bucky
Game Over
Action
You may not play this card if playing it would cause any player to win the game. You are eliminated.
Card : [[User:Gimlear
Jordan
Thing
Forget it. I don't care if you're a guitar hero or not, you can't play Jordan.

YgGygygygGrybob
Card : ChippyYYZ
Mjolnir, Hammer of Thor
Thing
If this card leaves your hand, put it back in your hand. If this card is in play at the end of your turn, you win.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Secret Word
Action
You must say the secret word when you play this.

No, I'm not going to tell what the secret word is.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Double Trouble
Action
Play another card called Double Trouble.
Card : ChippyYYZ
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Action
Shuffle the draw pile into the discard pile and draw a card.
Card : Binarius
Golden Fiddle
Thing
You must win a game of Dvorak against the Devil in order to play this card.
Card : ChippyYYZ
The Playable Card
Action
All special rules are repealed while playing this card.
Card : ChippyYYZ
AWOL
absent
Remove this card from the deck before beginning the game.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Fuse
Action
Draw a card and play it immediately.
Card : Binarius
Wand of Summon Monster
Action
Search the draw pile for a Monster card and put it into play. Then shuffle the draw pile.
Card : Binarius
Fishing Rod
Action
Gain control of a fish.
Card : Binarius
Ravenous Spawn of the Outer Planes
Thing-Monster
When you play this, put a Thing belonging to another player face-down under it.
Card : Bucky
über-brkeqn qr@d v dtbphkngjl
Action
Say the name of this card as you play it. You must pronounce it correctly.
Card : Bucky
Loophole Man
Thing
Cannot be played. Discard this card from your hand to look at another player's hand and force them to discard any one card.
Card : Bucky
Fizz
Action
Discard a card and play it immediately.
Card : Binarius
Refuse
Action/Thing
As an Action: No matter what, don't play any cards this turn. As a Thing: This card does not belong on the table. Put it in the discard pile.
Card : Binarius
Noteworthy
Action
Compose and record a hit song about Dvorak. You may choose its genre, but it must appear on the Billboard Hot 100 or the UK Singles Chart.
Card : Binarius
Victory Lap
Thing
Play this only in response to winning the game.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Print Wikipedia
Action
Destroy a rainforest and put an unholy number of Wikipedia Article Tokens into play.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Warning: Critical Mass
Thing
When this enters play, type:
loadcard Error/A/Error
164 times. Then shuffle the deck.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Because
Special
This card is neither an Action nor a Thing.
Card : Bucky
Taste the Infinite
Action
Put this card on top of the draw pile, then draw a card and immediately play it if possible.
Card : Bucky
Cheshire Cat
Thing
If Cheshire Cat is ever in your hand, reveal it to all players, draw a card and then put Cheshire Cat on the bottom of the draw pile.
Card : Bucky
Ultimate Weapon
Thing
Every turn, including the turn this card enters play, destroy a Thing and eliminate its controller.
Card : Binarius
Wanton Destruction
Action
Discard a token, eliminate a Thing, and destroy an opponent.
Card : Binarius
Consolation Prize
Thing
Play this card into your control after you have been eliminated.
Card : Binarius
Foreshadow
Action
Reveal an Action from your hand. Play this as a copy of the revealed Action.
Card : Bucky
Time Block
Thing
You cannot end your turns. You may take any number of extra Actions each turn.
Card : Bucky
White Flag
Thing
You cannot win the game while White Flag is in play.
Card : Bucky
Chuck Norris's Secret Weakness
Unknown
This card is a figment of your imagination and doesn't exist.

You may think you're reading it now, but trust me, there is no card here.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Void Cannon
Thing
You may only play this card if you have no cards in your hand.
Eliminate a player.
Card : ChippyYYZ
1337 5P34K1N6 1337
1337
PWN 74R637 N008. 411 Y0UR 8453 R 8310N6 2 U5.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Out Of Order
Thing
For some reason that lies just outside of your ability to comprehend, you can't play this card. Sorry.
Card : ChippyYYZ
The Spanish Inquisition
Thing
Play only in response to "I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition."
Card : ChippyYYZ
"I Wasn't Expecting The Spanish Inquistion"
Action
Play only in response to The Spanish Inquisition.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Broken Record
Action
Gain a Music token and play this card again.
Card : Bucky
Copyright Abuse
Thing
For the purpose of interpreting Special Rules only, 'Play' really means 'Create'.

Unless you are Bucky, you have not played this card.
Card : Bucky
Free Win
Action
Win the game, then remove Free Win from the deck archive.

Works exactly as intended
Card : Bucky
Everybody Likes Them
Thing
Only cards which mention puppies may be played.
Card : Chinkeeyong
The Curse of Epimenides
Action
When you play this card, don't do what it says.
Card : Binarius
I Don't Feel Tardy
Action
Draw an additional card at the beginning of your previous turn.
Card : jtwe
THREE OF CLUBS
action
Draw the 3 of clubs from the deck if it is not in the deck.
Card : garythesnail
You are the weakest link, goodbye.
action
Get voted off, then leave. Goodbye. You lose.

Kevan, Kevan, Kevan, Bucky, Kevan. Kevan, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Card : garythesnail
Robot Torso
Thing
You can't play Robot Torso unless you already control Robot Legs.
Card : Corrigan
Ambiguous Research
Action
Draw a few cards (you must draw exactly a few).
Card : Corrigan
Option Overload
Action
Perform four different actions from the following list:
*Draw a card
*Return a nonliving Thing to its controller's hand
*Gain a number of Energy Tokens equal to the number of cards in the discard pile.
Card : Bucky
Bogu's Boon
Action
Choose the second option OR choose the third option OR (option not available).
Card : Bucky
Die!
Action
Roll a 39-sided die and destroy exactly that many Things.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Hovercraft
Thing
Hovercraft may not touch any surface.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Open Palm
Action
Discard your hand. Play any card from your hand.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Logical Paradox
Action
You may play Logical Paradox at any time it isn't legal to play it, and at no other time.
Card : Bucky
The Wild One
Thing
The Wild One cannot be controlled!
Card : Bucky
Where'd Everyone Go?
Action
Shuffle this card back into the draw pile immediately when it is drawn if there are any players left in the game.
Card : Binarius
Corner the Market
Action
Destroy target cornervalue. (leave the rest of the card unharmed.)
Card : ChippyYYZ
Totally Worth It
Action
Give Bucky $2000 (US dollars, cash only).
Card : Bucky
Discard Happy
Thing
Discard a token from your hand and a Thing card from Up Your Sleeve each turn.

When you discard this card from your hand, create a token of any type under target player's control.
Card : Bucky
Static Cling
Thing
When you play this card, it immediately returns to your hand.
Card : Binarius
Transdimensional Buffet ƕ
Action
Draw this card.
Card : Binarius
CP Violation Bs
Action
Draw -10 cards.
Card : Binarius
Extremely Delicate China
Thing
If this card touches anything except the drawing deck, immediately destroy it.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
False Hope
Action
You immediately lose the game if you play this.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
You bastard!
Action
Make another player play a card, ignoring anything that could stop this. Put this back into your hand.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
World's Greatest Ventriloquist
Action
Activate an Action ability of an opponent's Thing as if you controlled it.
Card : Binarius
Red Rover
Thing
When you play this card, gain control of target Thing and put this card into its original controller's hand.
Card : Binarius
Hacky Sack
Thing
When you gain control of Hacky Sack, put it into the control of target opponent.
Card : Binarius
Underkill
Action
Draw -999 cards.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Frost around the clock
Thing
No one can win while this is in play. Everyone can play out of turn, drawing a card per card they play.

Might as well make some use out of this deck
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Visions of the Future
Action
View the entire deck, and all other people's cards, and the entire discard pile.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Blatant Cheating 0U
Action
Put your hand on top of the deck, then put five cards from Up Your Sleeve into your hand.
Card : Bucky
Cornervalue Certification
Thing
All your non-token Things must have cornervalues; you lose your certification if any do not.
Card : Bucky
Pocket Mouse 0o
Thing
If anyone looks at Pocket Mouse, it runs Up Your Sleeve.
Card : Bucky
A Call to Action 6A
Action
Reveal an Action from your hand. Each opponent does the same, or reveals their hand to show that they have none. You may exchange your Action with one revealed by an opponent. Then each player plays their Action in the order of your choice.
Card : Binarius
Get 3G
Action
Gain control of target Thing.
Card : Binarius
In English Please, Professor? 9E
Thing
Cards with words longer than ten letters in their titles or ruletexts may not be played. Return any such Thing in play to its controller's hand.
Card : Binarius
Massacre x.x
Action
Eliminate everyone, then shuffle all the cards into the deck.
Card : Bucky
Perfect Recursion 0Z
Action
All players play another game of Dvorak using the remaining draw pile. Eliminate yourself unless you win that game. Shuffle the deck afterwards.
Card : Bucky
Short Handed 2c
Thing
Your true hand limit is 2; you can't have more than two cards in hand at any time.
Card : Bucky
Insane New Dance Move
Action
Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards.
Card : Binarius
Cantor's Inverse Dimensionality Lemma
Action - Math Problem
Let Γ be an isotropic tangent space of n at ζ and Ξ be a piecewise sesqui­linear transformation. Prove that there exists a relation f-1 of ζ such that we can con­struct a connected polytope in the p-adics diffeomorphic to H2(, p).
(Hint: Suppose σ is a Euclidean sub­space of pn and ψ is an antisymmetric mapping.)
Card : Binarius
"No, not that one."
Reaction
When you draw this card, you must immediately read its title aloud, draw another card, and put this card on top of the draw pile.
Card : Binarius
Very Long Handed 7c
Thing
Your minimum hand size is 7; you can't have fewer than seven cards in hand at any time.
Card : Bucky
Cut the Middlemen
Action
Play the top card of the deck without removing it from the deck. Then put it in the discard pile.
Card : Bucky
Card-Carrying Zombie 1Z
Thing
This dies right after you play it.

While this is the top Thing card of the discard pile, anyone may use its Action ability.

Action: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Card : Bucky
Midnight
Action
If this is not played on January 1st, 2021 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Get With the Times
Action
Shuffle this card into the draw pile when you draw it if it is not the most recent addition to the Unplayable Dvorak deck.
Card : Binarius
Metaphysical Brick
Thing
This card is considered to be in your hand and not in play.
Card : Binarius
Perchance to Dream
Action
End the game with no winner. Immediately begin a new game with all players holding the same cards they held before the beginning of your current turn.
Card : Binarius
Literal Brick
Thing
When you draw this card, remove it from the game and pause said game until you find a brick. That brick is now in your hand.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Midnight
Action
If this is not played on January 1st, 2022 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
My Vocabulary Is Truly Impressive
Action
For each of the next ten thousand cards you draw, when you draw it, create a token with a type that's a one-word common noun that hasn't been used as a token type yet this game.

Until you're done, you may not consult any dictionaries or thesauri.
Card : Bucky
Rewind
Action
Restore the game to the state it was in at the start of the turn; everything since then never happened (including playing this).
Card : Bucky
The Spanish Inquisition
Thing
Nobody can win or lose the game while The Spanish Inquisition is in play. Action: Reveal your hand, destroy this, and lose the game if you have any black cards in hand.
Card : Bucky
Execution
Thing
If you can get one of your fellow players to be formerly executed in any fashion, then you win. Until then, you have not yet won.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Grandfather Paradox
Action
Restore the Unplayable Dvorak deck to the state it was in before this card was added.
Card : Binarius
No
Action
If anyone is about to play a card. you can instead play this card to win.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Creative Example 1X
Pseudoaction
''Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Discard up to three cards, then draw that many cards plus one.
Card : Bucky
Destructive Example 2X
Pseudothing
Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.

Action:Discard a Thing card to destroy a Thing or Pseudothing
Card : Bucky
Hypocrisy 3X
Pseudothing
Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''

Where cards other than this one try to exempt themselves from Special Rules, they fail to do so.
Card : Bucky
Gabriel's Card
Action
Cut this card in half. Cut one of the new halves in half. Repeat this forever. If you are unable to, you do not win.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
No RNG Allowed
Reaction
Play while an opponent is shuffling the deck to prevent the shuffle. Revert the deck's order to what it was before being shuffled. You can't do anything at random for the rest of the turn.
Card : Bucky
Sisyphean Effort
Action
Gain control of target Thing. Return control of it at the beginning of your next turn.

You must play this card an additional time to win with it.
Card : ChippyYYZ
Jump the Gun 4F
Reaction
Play before the game starts (after choosing this deck of cards but before shuffling it). Take a turn, then shuffle your hand into the deck.
Card : Bucky
Low Budget Looter
Thing
At the end of your turn, draw a card and discard half a card.
Card : Bucky
Stop the Clocks
Thing
Your turn does not end for the rest of your turn. You may draw any number of cards and play any number of things during your turn. If you play a thing this way, you may choose to ignore its' text.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Barren Victory
Pseudothing
''Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.
If you control no other things and have no cards in hand, you win the game.
Action+Thing: Discard 1 card.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Counterfeit Currency
Pseudoaction
Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''
Create 5 Money Pseudotokens. (Pseudotokens are tokens with "This doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules")
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Faster This Way
Action
Discard your hand, put the discard pile on top of the draw pile, turn the draw pile face-up, and play every card in order.
Card : Binarius
Danger Music
Action
Throw the deck into a lit fireplace.
Card : Binarius
瓹馞鴸霱
綕堀
燿莾傈㯾鞃鉥皽、欸鱃苉、緩柵䧐蹤癠䉑勂,畓髽椡櫹䝱龠䕘陟觖蓳鰓䟮馺坁。颵䶑䌌磞擥㠓。

磋㦒蒄栲夻鉴㙹穏靕鮛嵶㨕畜贄谼䩞䌀鼙。
Card : Binarius
Decision of the Council
Thing
While you control this, any player may choose to destroy it.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Many Bottles of Beer
Pseudothing
Place 99 Bottle counters on this card. At the beginning of a player's turn, they gain control of Many Bottles of Beer, then remove a bottle counter from it. Then, if there are no more bottle counters on it, they win the game.
Card : JakeTheWolfie
Copper Angel
Artifact Thing
You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.

In its heart lies the secret of mortality.
Card : JakeTheWolfie

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