Dvorak Export: Unplayable Dvorak deck

To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)

(You can also get an output formatted for the Dvorax Engine.)

cleardeck
skipcard Overkill/A/Draw 999 cards.
skipcard Playing With a Full Deck/T/If you control a Heart, a Diamond, a Spade, and a Club, you win the game.
skipcard A Little More Conversation/A/Destroy an Action.
skipcard Coming up short/A/Discard a number of cards equal to one plus the number of cards in your hand.
skipcard Silence/T/No cards may be played on the turn this enters play.
skipcard Echo/A/Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your previous turn.
skipcard The Ultimate Pick-Up Line/T/Lick your eyebrows when this comes into play.
skipcard Oche/A/Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your next turn.
skipcard Misfire/A/Negate this Action.
skipcard Game Over/A/You may not play this card if playing it would cause any player to win the game. You are eliminated.
skipcard Jordan/T/Forget it. I don't care if you're a guitar hero or not, you can't play Jordan. ("YgGygygygGrybob")
skipcard Mjolnir, Hammer of Thor/T/If this card leaves your hand, put it back in your hand. If this card is in play at the end of your turn, you win.
skipcard Secret Word/A/You must say the secret word when you play this. ("No, I'm not going to tell what the secret word is.")
skipcard Double Trouble/A/Play another card called Double Trouble.
skipcard The Sorcerer's Apprentice/A/Shuffle the draw pile into the discard pile and draw a card.
skipcard Golden Fiddle/T/You must win a game of Dvorak against the Devil in order to play this card.
skipcard The Playable Card/A/All special rules are repealed while playing this card.
skipcard AWOL/A/Remove this card from the deck before beginning the game.
skipcard Fuse/A/Draw a card and play it immediately.
skipcard Wand of Summon Monster/A/Search the draw pile for a Monster card and put it into play. Then shuffle the draw pile.
skipcard Fishing Rod/A/Gain control of a fish.
skipcard Ravenous Spawn of the Outer Planes/T/When you play this, put a Thing belonging to another player face-down under it.
skipcard über-brkeqn qr@d v dtbphkngjl/A/Say the name of this card as you play it. You must pronounce it correctly.
skipcard Loophole Man/T/Cannot be played. Discard this card from your hand to look at another player's hand and force them to discard any one card.
skipcard Fizz/A/Discard a card and play it immediately.
skipcard Refuse/A/As an Action: No matter what, don't play any cards this turn. As a Thing: This card does not belong on the table. Put it in the discard pile.
skipcard Noteworthy/A/Compose and record a hit song about Dvorak. You may choose its genre, but it must appear on the Billboard Hot 100 or the UK Singles Chart.
skipcard Victory Lap/T/Play this only in response to winning the game.
skipcard Print Wikipedia/A/Destroy a rainforest and put an unholy number of Wikipedia Article Tokens into play.
skipcard Warning: Critical Mass/T/When this enters play, type: loadcard Error/A/Error 164 times. Then shuffle the deck.
skipcard Because/T/This card is neither an Action nor a Thing.
skipcard Taste the Infinite/A/Put this card on top of the draw pile, then draw a card and immediately play it if possible.
skipcard Cheshire Cat/T/If Cheshire Cat is ever in your hand, reveal it to all players, draw a card and then put Cheshire Cat on the bottom of the draw pile.
skipcard Ultimate Weapon/T/Every turn, including the turn this card enters play, destroy a Thing and eliminate its controller.
skipcard Wanton Destruction/A/Discard a token, eliminate a Thing, and destroy an opponent.
skipcard Consolation Prize/T/Play this card into your control after you have been eliminated.
skipcard Foreshadow/A/Reveal an Action from your hand. Play this as a copy of the revealed Action.
skipcard Time Block/T/You cannot end your turns. You may take any number of extra Actions each turn.
skipcard White Flag/T/You cannot win the game while White Flag is in play.
skipcard Chuck Norris's Secret Weakness/T/This card is a figment of your imagination and doesn't exist. You may think you're reading it now, but trust me, there is no card here.
skipcard Void Cannon/T/You may only play this card if you have no cards in your hand. Eliminate a player.
skipcard 1337 5P34K1N6 (1337)/T/PWN 74R637 N008. 411 Y0UR 8453 R 8310N6 2 U5.
skipcard Out Of Order/T/For some reason that lies just outside of your ability to comprehend, you can't play this card. Sorry.
skipcard The Spanish Inquisition/T/Play only in response to "I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition."
skipcard "I Wasn't Expecting The Spanish Inquistion"/A/Play only in response to The Spanish Inquisition.
skipcard Broken Record/A/Gain a Music token and play this card again.
skipcard Copyright Abuse/T/For the purpose of interpreting Special Rules only, 'Play' really means 'Create'. ("Unless you are Bucky, you have not played this card.")
skipcard Free Win/A/Win the game, then remove Free Win from the deck archive. ("Works exactly as intended")
skipcard Everybody Likes Them/T/Only cards which mention puppies may be played.
skipcard The Curse of Epimenides/A/When you play this card, don't do what it says.
skipcard I Don't Feel Tardy/A/Draw an additional card at the beginning of your previous turn.
skipcard THREE OF CLUBS/A/Draw the 3 of clubs from the deck if it is not in the deck.
skipcard You are the weakest link, goodbye./A/Get voted off, then leave. Goodbye. You lose. ("Kevan, Kevan, Kevan, Bucky, Kevan. Kevan, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.")
skipcard Robot Torso/T/You can't play Robot Torso unless you already control Robot Legs.
skipcard Ambiguous Research/A/Draw a few cards (you must draw exactly a few).
skipcard Option Overload/A/Perform four different actions from the following list:%r*Draw a card%r*Return a nonliving Thing to its controller's hand%r*Gain a number of Energy Tokens equal to the number of cards in the discard pile.
skipcard Bogu's Boon/A/Choose the second option OR choose the third option OR (option not available).
skipcard Die!/A/Roll a 39-sided die and destroy exactly that many Things.
skipcard Hovercraft/T/Hovercraft may not touch any surface.
skipcard Open Palm/A/Discard your hand. Play any card from your hand.
skipcard Logical Paradox/A/You may play Logical Paradox at any time it isn't legal to play it, and at no other time.
skipcard The Wild One/T/The Wild One cannot be controlled!
skipcard Where'd Everyone Go?/A/Shuffle this card back into the draw pile immediately when it is drawn if there are any players left in the game.
skipcard Corner the Market/A/Destroy target cornervalue. (leave the rest of the card unharmed.)
skipcard Totally Worth It/A/Give Bucky $2000 (US dollars, cash only).
skipcard Discard Happy/T/Discard a token from your hand and a Thing card from Up Your Sleeve each turn.%r%rWhen you discard this card from your hand, create a token of any type under target player's control.
skipcard Static Cling/T/When you play this card, it immediately returns to your hand.
skipcard Transdimensional Buffet (ƕ)/A/Draw this card.
skipcard CP Violation (Bs)/A/Draw -10 cards.
skipcard Extremely Delicate China/T/If this card touches anything except the drawing deck, immediately destroy it.
skipcard False Hope/A/You immediately lose the game if you play this.
skipcard You bastard!/A/Make another player play a card, ignoring anything that could stop this. Put this back into your hand.
skipcard World's Greatest Ventriloquist/A/Activate an Action ability of an opponent's Thing as if you controlled it.
skipcard Red Rover/T/When you play this card, gain control of target Thing and put this card into its original controller's hand.
skipcard Hacky Sack/T/When you gain control of Hacky Sack, put it into the control of target opponent.
skipcard Underkill/A/Draw -999 cards.
skipcard Frost around the clock/T/No one can win while this is in play. Everyone can play out of turn, drawing a card per card they play. ("Might as well make some use out of this deck")
skipcard Visions of the Future/A/View the entire deck, and all other people's cards, and the entire discard pile.
skipcard Blatant Cheating (0U)/A/Put your hand on top of the deck, then put five cards from Up Your Sleeve into your hand.
skipcard Cornervalue Certification/T/All your non-token Things must have cornervalues; you lose your certification if any do not.
skipcard Pocket Mouse (0o)/T/If anyone looks at Pocket Mouse, it runs Up Your Sleeve.
skipcard A Call to Action (6A)/A/Reveal an Action from your hand. Each opponent does the same, or reveals their hand to show that they have none. You may exchange your Action with one revealed by an opponent. Then each player plays their Action in the order of your choice.
skipcard Get (3G)/A/Gain control of target Thing.
skipcard In English Please, Professor? (9E)/T/Cards with words longer than ten letters in their titles or ruletexts may not be played. Return any such Thing in play to its controller's hand.
skipcard Massacre (x.x)/A/Eliminate everyone, then shuffle all the cards into the deck.
skipcard Perfect Recursion (0Z)/A/All players play another game of Dvorak using the remaining draw pile. Eliminate yourself unless you win that game. Shuffle the deck afterwards.
skipcard Short Handed (2c)/T/Your true hand limit is 2; you can't have more than two cards in hand at any time.
skipcard Insane New Dance Move/A/Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards.
skipcard Cantor's Inverse Dimensionality Lemma/A/Let Γ be an isotropic tangent space of ℝn at ζ and Ξ be a piecewise sesquilinear transformation. Prove that there exists a relation f-1 of ζ such that we can construct a connected polytope in the p-adics diffeomorphic to H2(ℂ, ℚp). (Hint: Suppose σ is a Euclidean subspace of ℚpn and ψ is an antisymmetric mapping.)
skipcard "No, not that one."/T/When you draw this card, you must immediately read its title aloud, draw another card, and put this card on top of the draw pile.
skipcard Very Long Handed (7c)/T/Your minimum hand size is 7; you can't have fewer than seven cards in hand at any time.
skipcard Cut the Middlemen/A/Play the top card of the deck without removing it from the deck. Then put it in the discard pile.
skipcard Card-Carrying Zombie (1Z)/T/This dies right after you play it. %r%r While this is the top Thing card of the discard pile, anyone may use its Action ability. %r%r Action: Draw a card, then discard a card.
skipcard Midnight/A/If this is not played on January 1st, 2021 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.
skipcard Get With the Times/A/Shuffle this card into the draw pile when you draw it if it is not the most recent addition to the Unplayable Dvorak deck.
skipcard Metaphysical Brick/T/This card is considered to be in your hand and not in play.
skipcard Perchance to Dream/A/End the game with no winner. Immediately begin a new game with all players holding the same cards they held before the beginning of your current turn.
skipcard Literal Brick/T/When you draw this card, remove it from the game and pause said game until you find a brick. That brick is now in your hand.
skipcard Midnight/A/If this is not played on January 1st, 2022 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand.
skipcard My Vocabulary Is Truly Impressive/A/For each of the next ten thousand cards you draw, when you draw it, create a token with a type that's a one-word common noun that hasn't been used as a token type yet this game.%r%rUntil you're done, you may not consult any dictionaries or thesauri.
skipcard Rewind/A/Restore the game to the state it was in at the start of the turn; everything since then never happened (including playing this).
skipcard The Spanish Inquisition/T/Nobody can win or lose the game while The Spanish Inquisition is in play. Action: Reveal your hand, destroy this, and lose the game if you have any black cards in hand.
skipcard Execution/T/If you can get one of your fellow players to be formerly executed in any fashion, then you win. Until then, you have not yet won.
skipcard Grandfather Paradox/A/Restore the Unplayable Dvorak deck to the state it was in before this card was added.
skipcard No/A/If anyone is about to play a card. you can instead play this card to win.
skipcard Creative Example (1X)/T/''Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.%r%r Discard up to three cards, then draw that many cards plus one.
skipcard Destructive Example (2X)/T/Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.%r%r Action:Discard a Thing card to destroy a Thing or Pseudothing
skipcard Hypocrisy (3X)/T/Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''%r%r Where cards other than this one try to exempt themselves from Special Rules, they fail to do so.
skipcard Gabriel's Card/A/Cut this card in half. Cut one of the new halves in half. Repeat this forever. If you are unable to, you do not win.
skipcard No RNG Allowed/T/Play while an opponent is shuffling the deck to prevent the shuffle. Revert the deck's order to what it was before being shuffled. You can't do anything at random for the rest of the turn.
skipcard Sisyphean Effort/A/Gain control of target Thing. Return control of it at the beginning of your next turn. You must play this card an additional time to win with it.
skipcard Jump the Gun (4F)/T/Play before the game starts (after choosing this deck of cards but before shuffling it). Take a turn, then shuffle your hand into the deck.
skipcard Low Budget Looter/T/At the end of your turn, draw a card and discard half a card.
skipcard Stop the Clocks/T/Your turn does not end for the rest of your turn. You may draw any number of cards and play any number of things during your turn. If you play a thing this way, you may choose to ignore its' text.
skipcard Barren Victory/T/''Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.%r If you control no other things and have no cards in hand, you win the game.%r Action+Thing: Discard 1 card.
skipcard Counterfeit Currency/T/Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.''%r Create 5 Money Pseudotokens. (Pseudotokens are tokens with "This doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules")
skipcard Faster This Way/A/Discard your hand, put the discard pile on top of the draw pile, turn the draw pile face-up, and play every card in order.
skipcard Danger Music/A/Throw the deck into a lit fireplace.
skipcard 瓹馞鴸霱/T/燿莾傈㯾鞃鉥皽、欸鱃苉、緩柵䧐蹤癠䉑勂，畓髽椡櫹䝱龠䕘陟觖蓳鰓䟮馺坁。颵䶑䌌磞擥㠓。 磋㦒蒄栲夻鉴㙹穏靕鮛嵶㨕畜贄谼䩞䌀鼙。
skipcard Decision of the Council/T/While you control this, any player may choose to destroy it.
skipcard Many Bottles of Beer/T/Place 99 Bottle counters on this card. At the beginning of a player's turn, they gain control of Many Bottles of Beer, then remove a bottle counter from it. Then, if there are no more bottle counters on it, they win the game.
skipcard Copper Angel/A/You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game. ("In its heart lies the secret of mortality.")
skipcard Kingmaker/A/Discard a card. The players with the most cards in hand win the game.
skipcard Project Into the Past/A/If fewer than zero cards have been played this game, shuffle all cards together, deal five cards to each player, and start the game. Otherwise, this counts as -1 card for the purpose of counting cards played. As such, the discard pile rejects it: return it to your hand and play an Action.
skipcard Future Horizon/T/If a player would win the game, they instead either draw ten cards, return a Thing they control to their hand, and play a Thing or are eliminated.
@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Unplayable Dvorak deck into the Dvorak Engine.

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