This is a tab-separated dump of the deck, designed for import into Lackey's carddata.txt.
To use this in Lackey, copy this address to the AutoUpdate field in Lackey's Preferences:
http://dvorakgame.co.uk/export.php?deck=Unplayable_Dvorak_deck&lackeyimg=image&d=/d
For further information, read this page.Name Set ImageFile Type CornerValue Text FlavorText Creator
Overkill unplayable_dvorak action Action Draw 999 cards. Zaratustra
Playing With a Full Deck unplayable_dvorak thing Thing If you control a Heart, a Diamond, a Spade, and a Club, you win the game. jtwe (Infinite Dvorak deck)
A Little More Conversation unplayable_dvorak action Action Destroy an Action. Zaratustra
Coming up short unplayable_dvorak action Action Discard a number of cards equal to one plus the number of cards in your hand. Bucky
Silence unplayable_dvorak thing Thing No cards may be played on the turn this enters play. Bucky
Echo unplayable_dvorak action Action Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your previous turn. Bucky
The Ultimate Pick-Up Line unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Lick your eyebrows when this comes into play. Zaratustra
Oche unplayable_dvorak action Action Repeat the effects of any Action you played on your next turn. Zaratustra
Misfire unplayable_dvorak action Action Negate this Action. Bucky
Game Over unplayable_dvorak action Action You may not play this card if playing it would cause any player to win the game. You are eliminated. [[User:Gimlear
Jordan unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Forget it. I don't care if you're a guitar hero or not, you can't play Jordan. YgGygygygGrybob ChippyYYZ
Mjolnir, Hammer of Thor unplayable_dvorak thing Thing If this card leaves your hand, put it back in your hand. If this card is in play at the end of your turn, you win. ChippyYYZ
Secret Word unplayable_dvorak action Action You must say the secret word when you play this. No, I'm not going to tell what the secret word is. ChippyYYZ
Double Trouble unplayable_dvorak action Action Play another card called Double Trouble. ChippyYYZ
The Sorcerer's Apprentice unplayable_dvorak action Action Shuffle the draw pile into the discard pile and draw a card. Binarius
Golden Fiddle unplayable_dvorak thing Thing You must win a game of Dvorak against the Devil in order to play this card. ChippyYYZ
The Playable Card unplayable_dvorak action Action All special rules are repealed while playing this card. ChippyYYZ
AWOL unplayable_dvorak absent absent Remove this card from the deck before beginning the game. ChippyYYZ
Fuse unplayable_dvorak action Action Draw a card and play it immediately. Binarius
Wand of Summon Monster unplayable_dvorak action Action Search the draw pile for a Monster card and put it into play. Then shuffle the draw pile. Binarius
Fishing Rod unplayable_dvorak action Action Gain control of a fish. Binarius
Ravenous Spawn of the Outer Planes unplayable_dvorak thing_monster Thing-Monster When you play this, put a Thing belonging to another player face-down under it. Bucky
über-brkeqn qr@d v dtbphkngjl unplayable_dvorak action Action Say the name of this card as you play it. You must pronounce it correctly. Bucky
Loophole Man unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Cannot be played. Discard this card from your hand to look at another player's hand and force them to discard any one card. Bucky
Fizz unplayable_dvorak action Action Discard a card and play it immediately. Binarius
Refuse unplayable_dvorak action_thing Action/Thing As an Action: No matter what, don't play any cards this turn. As a Thing: This card does not belong on the table. Put it in the discard pile. Binarius
Noteworthy unplayable_dvorak action Action Compose and record a hit song about Dvorak. You may choose its genre, but it must appear on the Billboard Hot 100 or the UK Singles Chart. Binarius
Victory Lap unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Play this only in response to winning the game. ChippyYYZ
Print Wikipedia unplayable_dvorak action Action Destroy a rainforest and put an unholy number of Wikipedia Article Tokens into play. ChippyYYZ
Warning: Critical Mass unplayable_dvorak thing Thing When this enters play, type: loadcard Error/A/Error 164 times. Then shuffle the deck. ChippyYYZ
Because unplayable_dvorak special Special This card is neither an Action nor a Thing. Bucky
Taste the Infinite unplayable_dvorak action Action Put this card on top of the draw pile, then draw a card and immediately play it if possible. Bucky
Cheshire Cat unplayable_dvorak thing Thing If Cheshire Cat is ever in your hand, reveal it to all players, draw a card and then put Cheshire Cat on the bottom of the draw pile. Bucky
Ultimate Weapon unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Every turn, including the turn this card enters play, destroy a Thing and eliminate its controller. Binarius
Wanton Destruction unplayable_dvorak action Action Discard a token, eliminate a Thing, and destroy an opponent. Binarius
Consolation Prize unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Play this card into your control after you have been eliminated. Binarius
Foreshadow unplayable_dvorak action Action Reveal an Action from your hand. Play this as a copy of the revealed Action. Bucky
Time Block unplayable_dvorak thing Thing You cannot end your turns. You may take any number of extra Actions each turn. Bucky
White Flag unplayable_dvorak thing Thing You cannot win the game while White Flag is in play. Bucky
Chuck Norris's Secret Weakness unplayable_dvorak unknown Unknown This card is a figment of your imagination and doesn't exist. You may think you're reading it now, but trust me, there is no card here. ChippyYYZ
Void Cannon unplayable_dvorak thing Thing You may only play this card if you have no cards in your hand. Eliminate a player. ChippyYYZ
1337 5P34K1N6 unplayable_dvorak 1337 1337 1337 PWN 74R637 N008. 411 Y0UR 8453 R 8310N6 2 U5. ChippyYYZ
Out Of Order unplayable_dvorak thing Thing For some reason that lies just outside of your ability to comprehend, you can't play this card. Sorry. ChippyYYZ
The Spanish Inquisition unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Play only in response to "I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition." ChippyYYZ
"I Wasn't Expecting The Spanish Inquistion" unplayable_dvorak action Action Play only in response to The Spanish Inquisition. ChippyYYZ
Broken Record unplayable_dvorak action Action Gain a Music token and play this card again. Bucky
Copyright Abuse unplayable_dvorak thing Thing For the purpose of interpreting Special Rules only, 'Play' really means 'Create'. Unless you are Bucky, you have not played this card. Bucky
Free Win unplayable_dvorak action Action Win the game, then remove Free Win from the deck archive. Works exactly as intended Bucky
Everybody Likes Them unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Only cards which mention puppies may be played. Chinkeeyong
The Curse of Epimenides unplayable_dvorak action Action When you play this card, don't do what it says. Binarius
I Don't Feel Tardy unplayable_dvorak action Action Draw an additional card at the beginning of your previous turn. jtwe
THREE OF CLUBS unplayable_dvorak action action Draw the 3 of clubs from the deck if it is not in the deck. garythesnail
You are the weakest link, goodbye. unplayable_dvorak action action Get voted off, then leave. Goodbye. You lose. Kevan, Kevan, Kevan, Bucky, Kevan. Kevan, you are the weakest link. Goodbye. garythesnail
Robot Torso unplayable_dvorak thing Thing You can't play Robot Torso unless you already control Robot Legs. Corrigan
Ambiguous Research unplayable_dvorak action Action Draw a few cards (you must draw exactly a few). Corrigan
Option Overload unplayable_dvorak action Action Perform four different actions from the following list: *Draw a card *Return a nonliving Thing to its controller's hand *Gain a number of Energy Tokens equal to the number of cards in the discard pile. Bucky
Bogu's Boon unplayable_dvorak action Action Choose the second option OR choose the third option OR (option not available). Bucky
Die! unplayable_dvorak action Action Roll a 39-sided die and destroy exactly that many Things. ChippyYYZ
Hovercraft unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Hovercraft may not touch any surface. ChippyYYZ
Open Palm unplayable_dvorak action Action Discard your hand. Play any card from your hand. ChippyYYZ
Logical Paradox unplayable_dvorak action Action You may play Logical Paradox at any time it isn't legal to play it, and at no other time. Bucky
The Wild One unplayable_dvorak thing Thing The Wild One cannot be controlled! Bucky
Where'd Everyone Go? unplayable_dvorak action Action Shuffle this card back into the draw pile immediately when it is drawn if there are any players left in the game. Binarius
Corner the Market unplayable_dvorak action Action Destroy target cornervalue. (leave the rest of the card unharmed.) ChippyYYZ
Totally Worth It unplayable_dvorak action Action Give Bucky $2000 (US dollars, cash only). Bucky
Discard Happy unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Discard a token from your hand and a Thing card from Up Your Sleeve each turn. When you discard this card from your hand, create a token of any type under target player's control. Bucky
Static Cling unplayable_dvorak thing Thing When you play this card, it immediately returns to your hand. Binarius
Transdimensional Buffet unplayable_dvorak action Action ƕ Draw this card. Binarius
CP Violation unplayable_dvorak action Action Bs Draw -10 cards. Binarius
Extremely Delicate China unplayable_dvorak thing Thing If this card touches anything except the drawing deck, immediately destroy it. JakeTheWolfie
False Hope unplayable_dvorak action Action You immediately lose the game if you play this. JakeTheWolfie
You bastard! unplayable_dvorak action Action Make another player play a card, ignoring anything that could stop this. Put this back into your hand. JakeTheWolfie
World's Greatest Ventriloquist unplayable_dvorak action Action Activate an Action ability of an opponent's Thing as if you controlled it. Binarius
Red Rover unplayable_dvorak thing Thing When you play this card, gain control of target Thing and put this card into its original controller's hand. Binarius
Hacky Sack unplayable_dvorak thing Thing When you gain control of Hacky Sack, put it into the control of target opponent. Binarius
Underkill unplayable_dvorak action Action Draw -999 cards. JakeTheWolfie
Frost around the clock unplayable_dvorak thing Thing No one can win while this is in play. Everyone can play out of turn, drawing a card per card they play. Might as well make some use out of this deck JakeTheWolfie
Visions of the Future unplayable_dvorak action Action View the entire deck, and all other people's cards, and the entire discard pile. JakeTheWolfie
Blatant Cheating unplayable_dvorak action Action 0U Put your hand on top of the deck, then put five cards from Up Your Sleeve into your hand. Bucky
Cornervalue Certification unplayable_dvorak thing Thing All your non-token Things must have cornervalues; you lose your certification if any do not. Bucky
Pocket Mouse unplayable_dvorak thing Thing 0o If anyone looks at Pocket Mouse, it runs Up Your Sleeve. Bucky
A Call to Action unplayable_dvorak action Action 6A Reveal an Action from your hand. Each opponent does the same, or reveals their hand to show that they have none. You may exchange your Action with one revealed by an opponent. Then each player plays their Action in the order of your choice. Binarius
Get unplayable_dvorak action Action 3G Gain control of target Thing. Binarius
In English Please, Professor? unplayable_dvorak thing Thing 9E Cards with words longer than ten letters in their titles or ruletexts may not be played. Return any such Thing in play to its controller's hand. Binarius
Massacre unplayable_dvorak action Action x.x Eliminate everyone, then shuffle all the cards into the deck. Bucky
Perfect Recursion unplayable_dvorak action Action 0Z All players play another game of Dvorak using the remaining draw pile. Eliminate yourself unless you win that game. Shuffle the deck afterwards. Bucky
Short Handed unplayable_dvorak thing Thing 2c Your true hand limit is 2; you can't have more than two cards in hand at any time. Bucky
Insane New Dance Move unplayable_dvorak action Action Destroy a Thing, activate an Action ability, create five different tokens, and draw two cards. Binarius
Cantor's Inverse Dimensionality Lemma unplayable_dvorak action_math_problem Action - Math Problem Let Γ be an isotropic tangent space of ℝn at ζ and Ξ be a piecewise sesquilinear transformation. Prove that there exists a relation f-1 of ζ such that we can construct a connected polytope in the p-adics diffeomorphic to H2(ℂ, ℚp). (Hint: Suppose σ is a Euclidean subspace of ℚpn and ψ is an antisymmetric mapping.) Binarius
"No, not that one." unplayable_dvorak reaction Reaction When you draw this card, you must immediately read its title aloud, draw another card, and put this card on top of the draw pile. Binarius
Very Long Handed unplayable_dvorak thing Thing 7c Your minimum hand size is 7; you can't have fewer than seven cards in hand at any time. Bucky
Cut the Middlemen unplayable_dvorak action Action Play the top card of the deck without removing it from the deck. Then put it in the discard pile. Bucky
Card-Carrying Zombie unplayable_dvorak thing Thing 1Z This dies right after you play it. While this is the top Thing card of the discard pile, anyone may use its Action ability. Action: Draw a card, then discard a card. Bucky
Midnight unplayable_dvorak action Action If this is not played on January 1st, 2021 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand. JakeTheWolfie
Get With the Times unplayable_dvorak action Action Shuffle this card into the draw pile when you draw it if it is not the most recent addition to the Unplayable Dvorak deck. Binarius
Metaphysical Brick unplayable_dvorak thing Thing This card is considered to be in your hand and not in play. Binarius
Perchance to Dream unplayable_dvorak action Action End the game with no winner. Immediately begin a new game with all players holding the same cards they held before the beginning of your current turn. Binarius
Literal Brick unplayable_dvorak thing Thing When you draw this card, remove it from the game and pause said game until you find a brick. That brick is now in your hand. JakeTheWolfie
Midnight unplayable_dvorak action Action If this is not played on January 1st, 2022 at precisely 12:00 AM, put this back into your hand. JakeTheWolfie
My Vocabulary Is Truly Impressive unplayable_dvorak action Action For each of the next ten thousand cards you draw, when you draw it, create a token with a type that's a one-word common noun that hasn't been used as a token type yet this game. Until you're done, you may not consult any dictionaries or thesauri. Bucky
Rewind unplayable_dvorak action Action Restore the game to the state it was in at the start of the turn; everything since then never happened (including playing this). Bucky
The Spanish Inquisition unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Nobody can win or lose the game while The Spanish Inquisition is in play. Action: Reveal your hand, destroy this, and lose the game if you have any black cards in hand. Bucky
Execution unplayable_dvorak thing Thing If you can get one of your fellow players to be formerly executed in any fashion, then you win. Until then, you have not yet won. JakeTheWolfie
Grandfather Paradox unplayable_dvorak action Action Restore the Unplayable Dvorak deck to the state it was in before this card was added. Binarius
No unplayable_dvorak action Action If anyone is about to play a card. you can instead play this card to win. JakeTheWolfie
Creative Example unplayable_dvorak pseudoaction Pseudoaction 1X ''Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules. Discard up to three cards, then draw that many cards plus one. Bucky
Destructive Example unplayable_dvorak pseudothing Pseudothing 2X Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules. Action:Discard a Thing card to destroy a Thing or Pseudothing Bucky
Hypocrisy unplayable_dvorak pseudothing Pseudothing 3X Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.'' Where cards other than this one try to exempt themselves from Special Rules, they fail to do so. Bucky
Gabriel's Card unplayable_dvorak action Action Cut this card in half. Cut one of the new halves in half. Repeat this forever. If you are unable to, you do not win. JakeTheWolfie
No RNG Allowed unplayable_dvorak reaction Reaction Play while an opponent is shuffling the deck to prevent the shuffle. Revert the deck's order to what it was before being shuffled. You can't do anything at random for the rest of the turn. Bucky
Sisyphean Effort unplayable_dvorak action Action Gain control of target Thing. Return control of it at the beginning of your next turn. You must play this card an additional time to win with it. ChippyYYZ
Jump the Gun unplayable_dvorak reaction Reaction 4F Play before the game starts (after choosing this deck of cards but before shuffling it). Take a turn, then shuffle your hand into the deck. Bucky
Low Budget Looter unplayable_dvorak thing Thing At the end of your turn, draw a card and discard half a card. Bucky
Stop the Clocks unplayable_dvorak thing Thing Your turn does not end for the rest of your turn. You may draw any number of cards and play any number of things during your turn. If you play a thing this way, you may choose to ignore its' text. JakeTheWolfie
Barren Victory unplayable_dvorak pseudothing Pseudothing ''Play this as though it were a Thing, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules. If you control no other things and have no cards in hand, you win the game. Action+Thing: Discard 1 card. JakeTheWolfie
Counterfeit Currency unplayable_dvorak pseudoaction Pseudoaction Play this as though it were an Action, but it isn't one and doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules.'' Create 5 Money Pseudotokens. (Pseudotokens are tokens with "This doesn't count as a card for the purposes of Special Rules") JakeTheWolfie
Faster This Way unplayable_dvorak action Action Discard your hand, put the discard pile on top of the draw pile, turn the draw pile face-up, and play every card in order. Binarius
Danger Music unplayable_dvorak action Action Throw the deck into a lit fireplace. Binarius
瓹馞鴸霱 unplayable_dvorak _ 綕堀 燿莾傈㯾鞃鉥皽、欸鱃苉、緩柵䧐蹤癠䉑勂，畓髽椡櫹䝱龠䕘陟觖蓳鰓䟮馺坁。颵䶑䌌磞擥㠓。 磋㦒蒄栲夻鉴㙹穏靕鮛嵶㨕畜贄谼䩞䌀鼙。 Binarius
Decision of the Council unplayable_dvorak thing Thing While you control this, any player may choose to destroy it. JakeTheWolfie
Many Bottles of Beer unplayable_dvorak pseudothing Pseudothing Place 99 Bottle counters on this card. At the beginning of a player's turn, they gain control of Many Bottles of Beer, then remove a bottle counter from it. Then, if there are no more bottle counters on it, they win the game. JakeTheWolfie
Copper Angel unplayable_dvorak artifact_thing Artifact Thing You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game. In its heart lies the secret of mortality. JakeTheWolfie
Kingmaker unplayable_dvorak action Action Discard a card. The players with the most cards in hand win the game. Binarius
Project Into the Past unplayable_dvorak action Action If fewer than zero cards have been played this game, shuffle all cards together, deal five cards to each player, and start the game. Otherwise, this counts as -1 card for the purpose of counting cards played. As such, the discard pile rejects it: return it to your hand and play an Action. Binarius
Future Horizon unplayable_dvorak thing Thing If a player would win the game, they instead either draw ten cards, return a Thing they control to their hand, and play a Thing or are eliminated. Binarius