To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
(You can also get an output formatted for the Dvorax Engine.)
cleardeck
loadcard Best Female Friend (2)/T/%rYour Friend was talking to a girl, then you came and disturbed her. ("Action: Hit on the girl your Friend was talking to. She hates you now and leaves for a player of your choice.")
loadcard Female Friend (2)/T/%rYour Friend was chasing a thief, when you tackled her so she could help you. ("Action: Tell your Friend she should have run faster to catch the thief. She curses and joins the player of your choice.")
loadcard Sneaky Guy Friend (2)/T/%rYour Friend was downloading a huge file (guess what), you just canceled it and told him to help you. ("Action: Delete some of your Friend's "private files" to make room on the hard disk for your music. Your Friend leaves to a player of your choice.")
loadcard Fat Guy Friend (3)/T/%rYour Friend was eating burgers & fries, donuts, hot wings and drinking a milkshake, so you stole his food and promised to give it back after playing volleyball. It's the kind of friend you are. ("Action: Eat one of your Friend's fries. Your Friend gets so angry, he leaves for a player of your choice, ordering a hot dog on the way over.")
loadcard Girl Friend (not girlfriend) (2)/T/%rYour Friend was angry at you for kissing her soul mate. ("Action: Call your Friend's soul mate. Your Friend gets very upset and leaves for the player of your choice.")
loadcard Generic Guy Friend (2)/T/%rYou don't really know this Friend. ("Action: Talk to the Friend. You find out you used to be enemies when you where small. He joins a player of your choice so he can fight you.")
loadcard Generic Girl Friend (2)/T/%rYou forgot your Friend's name, so don't talk too much to her. ("Action: Talk to the Friend, who finds out you forgot you were friends and leaves for the player of your choice.")
loadcard Dumb Guy Friend (2)/T/%rYou tried to fool your Friend yesterday, unfortunately he wasn't that dumb. ("Action: Explain why everyone thinks your Friend is dumb. He doesn't understand, so gets angry and leaves for a player of your choice.")
loadcard Guy Friend (2)/T/%rYou tripped and accidentally kicked him in the nuts, then he told you he liked it... ("Action: Accidentally step into a bonfire, trip again and step into his nuts. This time you try to be helpful and try to kick out the fire... Your Friend crawls to another player of your choice.")
loadcard Hot Female Friend (2)/T/%rYou "accidentally" hit on her. ("Action: Make your move. Your Friend is fed up with your attempts and leaves for a player of your choice.")
loadcard Surf Chick (3-5)/T/Action: Surf chick attacks a player with her surfboard and goes surfing your next turn. ("%rShe was surfing a huge wave, so pay $ 400 to put her into play.")
loadcard Surf Chick (3-5)/T/Action: Surf chick attacks a player with her surfboard and goes surfing your next turn. ("%rYou stepped on her pet turtle, so pay $ 400 to put her into play. 1 of your other characters gets jealous and crosses over to a random enemy when you put Surf Chick into play.")
loadcard Surf Chick (3-5)/T/Action: Surf chick attacks a player with her surfboard and goes surfing your next turn. ("%rYou accidentally undid her bra (how did that happen?), so pay $ 400 to put her into play.")
loadcard Surf Chick (3-5)/T/Action: Surf chick attacks a player with her surfboard and goes surfing your next turn. ("%rYou broke her board, so pay $ 400 to put her into play.")
loadcard Random Beach Chick (4)/T/Some girl you met on the beach.%r%rAt the end of your second turn, she moves to the player to your right. ("%rWhere are you from?")
loadcard Random Beach Chick (4)/T/She's French, but she won't go topless.%r%rAt the end of your second turn, she moves to the player to your right. ("%rShe might come in handy...")
loadcard Random Beach Chick (4)/T/She's nice.%r%rAt the end of your second turn, she moves to the player to your right. ("%rShe might come in handy...")
loadcard Random Beach Chick (4)/T/You keep forgetting her name. Monica? Leslie? Kristin?%r%rAt the end of your second turn, she moves to the player to your right. ("%rShe might come in handy...")
loadcard ? (4)/T/You don't remember how you met. Or her name. Or if you're actually dating.%r%rAction: She talks to an enemy character. If you throw 1 or 2 with a dice, that character is yours! Enemies can use reaction cards. ("%rHi... you")
loadcard Flair (4)/T/You really think she's cheating on you, but you have no proof.%r%rFlair moves to the player on your right after your turn. ("%rI was shopping... I mean I was out... with a friend... I mean...")
loadcard Valerie (4)/T/She's just perfect!%r%rAction: CPR when you're KO. HP+4! ("%rHi!")
loadcard Lindsy (4)/T/For some reason, you think she might be a man. Or used to be. I don't know.%r%rAction: Lindsy swings! She switches places with another Lover. ("%rLet's watch some sports")
loadcard Natanz (4)/T/You don't remember life before him.%r%rAction: A Character gets HP + 1, but can't get more HP than the number in the top right corner. ("%rHi sunshine!")
loadcard Ali (4)/T/For some reason, you think he might be a terrorist. Ali automatically joins any friendly character that attacks. Choose how you spread the damage between characters. ("%rYou go buy now machine gun and give me.")
loadcard Sven (4)/T/Most of your friends have dated him too. Every 2 rounds, you get an STD and HP-1.%r%rAction: Break up. Sven moves to another player. ("%rLet's go upstairs.")
loadcard G-Money (4)/T/He's different with his friends but makes up for it when you're alone with him.%r%rAction: G-Money steals $100 (not $200) from a player, if the player has more than $400. ("%rHey, get some drinks in here, now!")
loadcard Sabotage/T/You sabotage an enemy's Convertible. Next time it's used it goes HP - 2.%r%rLeave the card on the Convertible and destroy it after use. ("%rCan't wait 'till they use it!")
loadcard Choke Hold (AP 1)/T/Put this card in an enemy's area and you Choke that player each of your and their turns. This card is destroyed (A) when the choking player destroys one of her own Friends or (B) after your next turn if the player has a Lover, or (C) when the player attacks you. ("%rGrrrrgll – Hey, die faster!")
loadcard Charge!/T/Everyone's frustrated everyone else's stopping them from playing volleyball.%r%rEveryone can play as many Actions they want each turn. When 5 characters are KO, this card self destructs. ("%rKO them all! Let the life guards sort them out!")
loadcard Continuous Insults/T/Your enemies insult you, and everyone on the beach saw it happen. You can attack with as many characters as you like each turn. Your characters with AP0 get AP+1. When you're attacked twice, you're not so courageous anymore (destroy this). ("You stupid [CENSORED], you're a big @-#%^*! yourself!")
loadcard Convertible (6)/T/Re-Action You jump in your car and speed off, avoiding the attack. Trying to avoid a hot blonde, you send your Car flying and it lands upside down! Your HP - 1 and the Convertible is destroyed. ("I think we hit something back there.")
loadcard Convertible (6)/T/Action (up side down): $200 to flip your Car right side up. Or ask a character for help – who falls under the Car and is KO'd. ("%rIt's pink")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rWhat am I going to buy with this?")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rWhat am I going to buy with this?")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rWhat am I going to buy with this?")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rWhat am I going to buy with this?")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rWhat am I going to buy with this?")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rWhat am I going to buy with this?")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rThis helps")
loadcard Money (200)/T/$200 ("%rIt's got dog $!&* on it, but it's still money.")
loadcard Surf Board (-$400)/A/You buy a super Surf Board. A Surf Chick can't resist and is now on your side. ("%rHey look what I've got!")
loadcard Monkey Town/A/A bunch of monkey's are climbing palm trees, everyone's watching.%r%rNobody can attack for 1 round. ("%rLook, monkey's!")
loadcard Something's Missing/A/You passionately kiss a random person when an enemy's Lover is watching. Her current lover never puts in that much effort, so she gets with you now. ("%rHi... nice weather isn't it?")
loadcard Lover's quarrel/A/You start a fight between 2 characters from the same player.%r%rOne of them leaves for you! ("%rI've noticed they don't talk so much to you. I'm just saying...")
loadcard Hair issues/A/You tell a character another character said s/he's a fake blonde.%r%rChoose odds or even and throw a dice to see which character wins the fight and which one is KO'd. ("%rWhat? This is fake?!")
loadcard Revenge of the Nerds (-$200)/A/You hire a computer nerd and he hacks into your enemy's bank account.%r%rEnemy money - $ 400. ("%rI always wondered what they were good for.")
loadcard Hack Attack (-$400)/T/You hire a nerd to sabotage all your enemies' bank accounts. The next enemy to lose money pays double! Then destroy this card. ("%rYes! How's that?!")
loadcard Bonfire/A/You make a bonfire to stay warm. Without you asking them, all enemy characters join your side and return to their previous 'owner' at the end of your next turn. ("%rMy fire")
loadcard Beach Station (HP+3)/A/Use on yourself: you can't Attack or Re-Act for 2 turns.%r%rIf you use this on a Character, turn her upside down for 2 turns. ("Must... try... not to look... at hideously ugly Life Guard... aaaah!")
loadcard Life Guard (HP+4)/A/An extremely ugly life guard like you've never seen sees you're KO and gives you CPR.%r%rYou can play this card whenever you like, but only if you're KO. You can sell this card. ("Volleyball isn't worth this.")
loadcard Lazy Push (AP 2)/A/You push your enemy into some muscular guy, who beats her up for bumping into him. ("Sorry?")
loadcard Lazy Push (AP 2)/A/You push your enemy into some muscular guy, who beats her up for bumping into him. ("I'm so smart")
loadcard Lazy Push (AP 2)/A/You push your enemy into some muscular guy, who beats her up for bumping into him. ("What do you think you're doing?!")
loadcard Beach Chair Slam (AP 3)/A/You pick up a beach chair -– with someone still on it -– and SLAM! ("It hurts so much, I don't feel the pain.")
loadcard Beach Chair Slam (AP 3)/A/You pick up a beach chair -– with someone still on it -– and SLAM! ("I saw it coming… but it was too fast.")
loadcard Beach Chair Slam (AP 3)/A/You pick up a beach chair -– with someone still on it –- and SLAM! ("Hey! Not fair!")
loadcard Ninja Attack (AP 2)/A/You use your Ninja skills to sneak past any Enemy's characters and directly attack your enemy. ("Hey, how did you get here?")
loadcard Ninja Attack (AP 2)/A/You use your Ninja skills to sneak past any Enemy's characters and directly attack your enemy. ("Just lucky.")
loadcard Drink This! (AP 2)/A/You grab your enemy and hold her head under water. ("This is taking too long.")
loadcard Drink This! (AP 2)/A/You grab your enemy and hold her head under water. ("Come on! Where are the sharks when you need them?!")
loadcard Drink This! (AP 2)/A/You grab your enemy and hold her head under water. ("Don't struggle!")
loadcard Palm Tree Kick (AP 4)/A/You kick a palm tree and a coconut falls on your enemy's head. Inside the coconut is a movie ticket. ("Hey, where's the monkey?!")
loadcard Triple Kicks in the Nuts (AP 3)/A/-- Of course, this card can't be used against women -- ("Somehow, 3 kicks don't hurt much more than 2.")
loadcard Triple Kicks in the Nuts (AP 3)/A/-- Of course, this card can't be used against women -- ("It's times like this I wish I was a woman.")
loadcard Towel Defense (Enemy AP-1)/A/You use your towel to defend yourself.%r%rIt's not very effective. ("How does Jackie Chan do that?")
loadcard Hide in a Sun Umbrella (HP-1)/A/You jump in a sun umbrella, so your enemy can't find you.%r%rAs you try to get out of the sun umbrella, you hurt yourself. ("Maybe this isn't the best place to hide...")
loadcard Excuse (Enemy AP-2)/A/You come up with a good excuse, so your enemy hits you softer. ("That thing, with the thing... it was there and then it went... and now it's you know.")
loadcard 8 Months/A/Your ex shows up, and says she's pregnant from one of you. Instead of fighting, you start calculating who's baby it is. This card can still be used when one of the players is a woman –- figure it out! -- ("She hopes it's a girl")
loadcard Pay Off/A/You pay so she doesn't attack you: write down how much you want to pay, attacker writes down her offer. Don't ask more than the defender has. Show the offers: if the attacker asks less than you offer, pay what the attacker asks for. If you offer less than the attacker asks, pay the difference, or change your mind and get attacked.
loadcard Volleyball Trip & Kick (AP2)/A/Before she reaches you, you kick a volleyball to your enemy, who trips over it.%r%rOf course you kick her when she's down. ("That field is mine! Go away!")
loadcard Sand Throw (HP-2)/A/You throw sand in your enemy's eyes, so she misses her attack and can't attack her next turn.%r%rA crab in the sand bites you. ("Why can't I see?!")
loadcard Seduce/A/A character seduces an enemy's character, who's now on your side. ("Hey")
loadcard Seduce/A/A character seduces an enemy's character, who's now on your side. ("It's way more fun over here!")
loadcard Surfing Lessons/A/One of your characters makes friends with Surf Chick, who teaches her how to surf. Surf Chick is unavailable for 2 round. ("Watch out for that shark!")
loadcard Betrayal!/A/You throw one of your characters in front of the attack, who gets HP - 2 (no other attack damage) and leaves you for a player who's not you or the attacker.
loadcard Strip Show/A/Random Beach Chick or a Friend strips for 1 enemy player's Friends and her Surf Chick, distracting them until their second turn. ("It wasn't such a bad idea anyway - I made $ 2000!")
loadcard Gossip/A/Random Beach Chick spreads a rumor about an enemy's character. That character's group kicks her/him out!%r%rThe character leaves for a random player. ("This, after all we've been through?! The metal detector at the airport, the hotel doors...")
loadcard Lies (AP 2)/A/You tell one of your characters someone said she was 'fat, dumb, crazy in a bad way and 'static' in bed'. She AP2's the target. ("Hey! You don't know anything about me!")
loadcard Which Way to?/T/One of your characters asks a target for directions to a soda stand, making the target unavailable to the player. Place this card on the target. The player can discard an Action card or not play an Action to make the target available again and destroy this card. ("Where should I walk? Left? Where's that?")
loadcard Innocent Bystander/A/One of your characters is in the way of an attack, getting KO'd instead of the target being hit. ("Aaaaah!")
loadcard Baby!/A/A non-Lover character gets pregnant from an unknown player, making all Lovers leave. ("One of you made a big bump in my belly!")
loadcard Join Forces (AP 3)/A/You and another character attack your enemy together!%r%rUnfortunately your friend can't fight that well.%r%rDecide how you want to spread the damage if you get any. ("Let's do this!")
loadcard Join Forces (AP 3)/A/You and another character attack your enemy together!%r%rUnfortunately your friend can't fight that well.%r%rDecide how you want to spread the damage if you get any. ("Thumbs in or out?")
loadcard Hot Wire/A/One of your characters steals a Convertible. ("Look what I found in the glove compartment - candies.")
loadcard A Surprise/A/A Friend secretly puts alcohol in the drinks of 1 enemy.%r%rHer Friends and her Surf Chick get drunk and HP - 1. They can't attack or defend until their second turn, counting from now. ("What's going on?")
loadcard Sabotage/T/One of your characters sabotages an enemy's Convertible. Next time it's used it goes HP-4.%rLeave the card on the Convertible if you want so you won't forget it. ("Now start you car...")
loadcard Beach Ball/A/One of your characters throws a Beach Ball at an enemy character, who's KO'd (not destroyed) until the enemy's 2nd turn, or when she gets HP + something. ("Why didn't I think of this before?")
loadcard Beach Ball/A/One of your characters throws a Beach Ball at an enemy character, who's KO'd (not destroyed) until the enemy's 2nd turn, or when she gets HP + something. ("Good idea!")
loadcard No Surf Board/T/One of your characters steals Surf Chick's Surf Board, who AP-2's. She finds her board back when the character is KO.%rLeave the card on the Surf Chick if you have memory issues. ("What am I going to do now? Talk to people?")
loadcard Kisses (HP+3)/A/Your Lover kisses you or one of your characters. HP+3 ("%rYes!")
loadcard Lover Attack (AP2)/A/Your Lover slaps your enemy in the face. Her characters won't attack her, because they all used to date her! But wait! Your enemy seduces your lover and goes HP+1, because you know... Sven: enemy HP-1. ("%rEnemy: Haha!")
loadcard Cheating?/A/Your Lover slips in a sexy dress, seduces your enemy, steals 2 Money cards for you and runs!%r%rThat's what she told you. ("Exactly how far did you go?")
loadcard She's taken! (AP2)/A/Your Lover attacks an enemy character who glanced at you. ("What do you think you're doing?")
loadcard Group Buy (+$x?)/A/You tell all your characters you're poor, so they give you some money.%r%rGet $200 from each of your characters. Search the pile and shuffle it afterwards.
loadcard Team Work/A/All your characters work together so you can play volleybal.%r%rDraw 1 card for each character you have. ("This should help!")
loadcard Friend Attack (AP2x?)/A/Without you telling them to, all your characters attack your enemy. AP0 becomes AP2.%r%r(1) Say who you're attacking. (2) If 1 target: the target has to defend herself. (3) If your characters get damage, your enemy chooses how it's spread.
loadcard Sand Trap/A/2 of your characters dig a sand trap. Next time you're attacked, the attacker HP-1's and the attack misses.%r%rThe 2 characters are unavailable your next turn. ("Come closer... closer...")
loadcard Desperate Move/A/You run your car into a player, character or another Convertible.%r%rThis destroys your car and the target gets AP 4'd. ("Just shut up")
loadcard Cruise/A/You cruise around in your Convertible.%r%rDiscard as many cards as you want and draw as many as you like, without holding more cards in your hand than when you played this card. ("It's beautiful here.")
loadcard Insurance Fraud/A/You call the police and tell them an enemy hit your Convertible.%r%rThat player has to pay you half her money now and in her next turn (rounded up). If the player has no money, she goes HP-1. ("Yeah, why did you hit my car? (Hehehe!)")
loadcard Trunk Trick/A/You tell a character you sell stuff from your trunk. When she takes a look you push her in. %r%rShe's unavailable until your Convertible is involved in anything or you get attacked. ("%rCheating only counts if you get caught.")
loadcard Wind/T/The wind blows away half the money of the richest player, rounded up.%r%rThis happens when it's the turn of the player who at that moment has the most money, but only at the end of that turn. Then destroy this card. ("Get back here!")
loadcard Super Wave/T/The wave of the year is up, so all Surf Chicks are unavailable for the next 2 rounds. ("Hey, where are you going?!")
loadcard Shark Attack/T/Some people in the ocean are attacked by sharks. Everyone watches.%r%rNobody can attack for 1 round. ("Wow, cool!")
loadcard Orca Attack/T/Unbelievable! An orca jumps out of the ocean and eats everyone's Friends, then rolls back in the water! ("Who's going to pay for the hotel now?!")
loadcard Flying Net/T/The volleyball net somehow catches wind and flies away, so there's nothing to fight for. Nobody can attack anymore and everyone draws 2 cards. After 1 round, the volleyball net miraculously flies back and there's something to fight for! ("Let's get back to business")
loadcard Hot Babes/T/Some hot babes are watching you, so you can't attack.%r%rPlay this card in your next turn. Others can still attack. ("Hiya")
loadcard Sun Burn/T/Only you have put on sun lotion.%r%rEveryone else gets HP - 1 for 1 round (permanently for players), including your characters! ("SPF 100!")
loadcard Tsunami/T/A fake rumor about a tsunami hitting the beach drives everyone crazy.%r%rStarting with you, every one of your characters has to attack (AP0 becomes AP1). After this, the next player has to do the same thing, etc, until every character has attacked. Players can't do anything else during their turn.
loadcard Whale Shark Attack/T/A big wave sends a whale shark flying at you. It opens its mouth and eats you! The whale shark decides whether to swallow and then spits you out!%r%rIn your next 2 turns, only your characters can do something. YOU can't be attacked. ("Aren't you lucky it's a vegetarian!")
loadcard Falling Satellite Parts/T/A satellite part falls on someone. Put everyone's Characters and Convertibles close to each other and throw something. Whatever it lands on is destroyed. Don't use something big... ("That is... unusual")
loadcard We don't really know her/T/The police arrest 2 random characters for exhibitionism. ("Why didn't they arrest me too?")
loadcard Paradise/T/A comet hits Earth and kills all men. ("Yes!!")
loadcard Random Beach Chick's fed up with it all/T/Turns out your Random Beach Chick is sort of psychotic, so she AP1's you and your lover. %r%rHappens to players with a Random Beach Chick. ("What... what's going on?")
@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Miami Beach Fight deck into the Dvorak Engine.