Dvorak Export: Lampy Land Deck


Instructions

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Roman Politics
Module
Stab This student. Poison that. Pay an assassin... well they have to pass somebody; you're the only student then they'll just have to pass you.
Card : Shard
The Art of Bullshitting
Module
Creative Writing? Archaeology? Philosophy? As long as you can make shit up you can pass.
Card : Shard
Volunteering in the Community
Module
2hrs a week for the year, thought it be easy but it was a lot more work than anything else you had done!
Card : fidget
Token Trip Abroad
Module
Two stupid essays worth all the free samples of booze and a lifetime of anecdotes
Card : fidget
Card Games Analysis
Module
Sick to the back teeth of card games? Solitaire will never again distract you whilst trying to write an ess... ooo, what's minetrap all about?
Card : fidget
SWD Module
Module
Learn all those important life skills such as how to get free laptops, disability allowances, extensions etc
Card : fidget
Media *cough*Studies*cough*
Module
Card : Shard
IT Skill-less
Module
Card : Shard
Ufology
Module
Whatever brings the money... er, students.
Card : Shard
JK Rowling Studies
Module
Dosser Studies
Card : Alex
The Pornographic Works of Pliny The Younger
Module
Translation work with illustrations.
Card : Alex
Subjugating Other Cultures
Module
Vocational Module
Card : Alex
The Project
Module
Alas, this is sooo dull that once you play it you lose your next go.
Card : Alex
Life Skills: Zombie Attack Preperation
Module
A Practical Guide
Card : Alex
Taming The Panda Within
Module
Some beasts are more dangerous than others...
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Condiments of the Lost Kings
Module
Marmite is sick & wrong.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Surprise Through The Ages
Module
The element of surprise is grossly underestimated
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Cache of Drugs
Thing: Illegal
Prevents any negative card being played against you specifically, with the exception of Police Raid.

Everybody loves their dealer!
Card : Alex
Real Life Skull
Thing
Bones are cool. You have a skull (two if you count the one in your head).
Card : Alex
Swordy Swordy Sword
Thing
You can swing your Sword at any time. You break suff. Discard one of your Things (not the Sword) and one Thing of another Player's.
Card : Alex
Plonk
Thing: Alcohol
A bottle of cheap... actually the label has fallen off.

You may keep the cheap alcohol or discard to force another Player to lose one Module
Card : Alex
Disability
Thing
Your department are afraid of being sued.

Anything which causes you to discard a Module causes you to discard one less than you normally would.
Card : Alex
Borrowed Book From Lecturer
Thing
There are other places to go for books when the library closes... thank goodness!

Place with a Module - you cannot be forced to part with that module while The Borrowed Book From Lecturer is in play.
Card : Alex
Library Book
Thing
Somehow you find a useful book in the library.

Place with a Module. You cannot be forced to part with that Module while the Library Book is in play.
Card : Alex
Whiskey
Thing: Alcohol
You may keep it to yourself or use it to prevent a negative Action being played against you.

Discard this card after use.
Card : Alex
5 Pints of Real Man's Cider
Thing: Alcohol
Upon Playing may be given to any Player. The Player in possession of 5 Pints of Old Rosie misses their next go due to being unconcious.

This card is then discarded.
Card : Alex
Roleplaying Book
Thing: Book
You have a roleplaying book. Geek
Card : Alex
Society Membership
Thing
There is only really only one type of society in Lampete: a drinking society!

Ignore the negative effect of any card based on alcohol/drinking.

Discard after use.
Card : Alex
The Magical Network
Thing
Having discovered the mythical mobile phone network that works everywhere you are able to hold one more item. Your hand is increased by +1 card while this card is in play.
Card : fidget
A Car!
Thing
You can drive! You can escape this insanity for a day!

Negates the loss of 1 Thing.

Discard once used.
Card : Shard
Lampeter Miles
Thing
Play to an opponent. They can only play 1 Action OR 1 Thing while this card is in their possession.
Card : Shard
A Friend To Take Notes
Thing
Never lose a turn while in possession of this card.
Card : Shard
A House Off Campus
Thing
Costs more money, you're further from the library, friends, lecture halls... but at least you get a good night's sleep.

While in play you get +1 in your hand.
Card : Shard
Egg-o-Destiny
Thing
Someone Ninjes you house. Lose 1 turn to clean up, or take vengence and pass this card on to another Player. Can only be passed on 3 times.

Discard after all turns have been missed.
Card : Shard
Hardship Fund
Thing
Draw and extra card each turn.

Free? I'll take it!
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Sit-In
Thing
Lose this card instead of a Module should you need to discard one.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Overdue Library Book
Thing: Book
Play against an Opponent. Lose 1 Thing or Module per turn until the Overdue Library Book can be returned (discarded). If not returned (discarded) after six turns; discard hand.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
The VC's Pet
Thing
Protects two of your Modules while pet lives...

I'd do anything for Fluffles
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Emo-itis
Thing
You have been struck down by the mighty and terrible Emo Plague. Now you must miss ever other go so you have time to sit in your room and write bad poetry using your own blood, until you find the elusive Pills of Happiness.
Card : fidget
Menopausal Department Admin
Action
If player is male - negate the effects of any Action card that would cause you to lose a Module. Can be played at any time.

If player is female - lose a Module or three Things.
Card : Shard
Flood
Action
Miss a turn.

If player holds House Off Campus then lose a Thing.

Who builds accomodation on one side of a river and lecture halls on the other?!
Card : Shard
Local Chavs
Action
Select a player to lose 2 Things
Card : Shard
Drinker's Degree
Action
If the Player has 6 or more modules, they must discard 3.

I write my best essays drunk!!
Card : Shard
The Maz effect
Action
Choose a Player to lose 2 turns.
Card : Shard
The Handbag Effect
Action
Everyone loses 1 Thing
Card : Shard
Critical Fail
Action
Too much roleplaying? Select a Player to lose 1 Module
Card : Shard
Fresher's Flu
Action
Select a Player. They must discard 3 Things or 1 Module
Card : Shard
Charity Book Shop Raid
Action
Ty Agored have just been given all the set books!! Go through the Discard or Draw pile. If you find a module, it's yours.
Card : Shard
Resits
Action
Can be played at anytime. Prevent the loss of 1 Module.
Card : Shard
Water Works
Action
About to fail a module? Turn on the tears and save your ass.

Negates the loss of 1 Module. Can be played at any time.

Cannot be played against Menopausal Department Admin.
Card : Shard
Library Recall
Action
All books are Discarded except Book Borrowed From Lecturer
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Lies And Misinformation
Action
Everyone rotates three Things to the Player on their left. If they cannot do this then they miss a turn.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Kill The VC's Pet
Action
R.I.P Fluffles. Destroy The VC's Pet and discard any protected Modules.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Distance Learner
Action
Player of your choice discards half of their Modules in play (round up).
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
I'm A Lecturer Too...
Action
Forces the player to your left to discard one module.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
hiding the Books
Action
All other Players must discard the last Thing they have played.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Identity Theft
Action
Swap your Modules and Things in play with those of another Player. They miss the next 2 turns.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
University Lecturers Strike
Action
Everyone must discard the Modules they have in play.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Fancy a Course Change?
Action
Discard ALL Modules and draw three cards.
Card : Lord Timothy Mayweather
Sudden Illness/Laziness/Death
Action
Player of your choice loses 3 Modules as they are forced to repeat a year.
Card : Alex
Alex's Hyper Speed
Action
Gain an extra turn (in normal circumstances you can play 2 more Things and 1 more Action).
Card : Alex
Start a Crazy, Crazy Society
Action
Every player discards one card from their hand as they waste their time with this folly.
Card : Alex
16's On The Rampage (minus Prince Charles)
Action
Each player discards one Thing in play. If they have no things the 16's mock them for their poverty.
Card : Alex
Become and Exec Member
Action
This action is a complete waste of time... but you did a great job last forum!
Card : Alex
Cramming Before an Exam
Action
In addition to playing your usual Thing and Action you may play another Thing if you have it.
Card : Alex
Student Numbers Are Falling
Action
The only solution is to lower standards.

Go through the discard pile and play the first Module you come across.
Card : Alex
Engage in a Debate
Action
Take possession of a Module from another Player.

As this does not count as discarding, having a Disability won't help the poor benighted fool.
Card : Alex
Z-Day Plan
Action
Truly, your preparation for this even is staggering.

If the Module Zombie Attack Preperation is in the discard pile then take it and play immediately.
Card : Alex
Run a Roleplaying Game
Action
It's fun but it's a waste of time. No more Action cards may be played until your next turn.
Card : Alex
Increasing Student Numbers
Action
The lecturers can be as harsh as they want. Every Player possessing a Module(s) loses one.
Card : Alex
Alcohol+Laptop=Dead Laptop
Action
Player of your choise discards 2 Modules OR 3 Things.
Card : Alex
The Book You Requested is Missing
Action
Player of your choise must discard one Module
Card : Alex
Hoise By Your Own Pet 'Tard
Action
A Player of your choise loses a turn as an irritating buffoon follows them around.
Card : Alex
Police Raid!
Action
Anyone with an illegal Thing has to flee or end up in prison. The players in question are out of the game and all their cards are destroyed.
Card : Alex
It Was All Just A LARP Event
Action
Negates ANY Action (including Police Raid)
Card : Alex
Incriminating Evidence
Action
If Police Raid! is played against you, select another player to take down with you.

Can be the player who played Police Raid! against you.
Card : Alex
Doctor's Note
Action
The only known defense against Menopausal Department Admin if you're female. Can be played at any time to negate the effects of Menopausal Department Admin.
Card : fidget
Crazy Thursday
Action
Negates the use of 'Car' as you become the weekly charity taxi.
Card : fidget
Sense of Direction
Action
Having discovered all of the short cuts Lampeter has to offer, you are no longer affected by Lampeter Miles. Discard both cards.
Card : fidget
Discover Anti-Socal Networks
Action
After months, years even, of nay-saying such things you finally sell your soul and join. Now you are addicted and just keep coming back for more. Miss a go.
Card : fidget
Pills Of Happiness
Action
The only known cure for the Emo Plague. If you are unaffected, discard. Once used, discard.
Card : fidget

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