Dvorak Export: Lampy Land Deck

To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)

(You can also get an output formatted for the Dvorax Engine.)

cleardeck
skipcard Roman Politics/T/Stab This student. Poison that. Pay an assassin... well they have to pass somebody; you're the only student then they'll just have to pass you.
skipcard The Art of Bullshitting/T/Creative Writing? Archaeology? Philosophy? As long as you can make shit up you can pass.
skipcard Volunteering in the Community/T/2hrs a week for the year, thought it be easy but it was a lot more work than anything else you had done!
skipcard Token Trip Abroad/T/Two stupid essays worth all the free samples of booze and a lifetime of anecdotes
skipcard Card Games Analysis/T/Sick to the back teeth of card games? Solitaire will never again distract you whilst trying to write an ess... ooo, what's minetrap all about?
skipcard SWD Module/T/Learn all those important life skills such as how to get free laptops, disability allowances, extensions etc
skipcard Media *cough*Studies*cough*/T/
skipcard IT Skill-less/T/
skipcard Ufology/T/Whatever brings the money... er, students.
skipcard JK Rowling Studies/T/Dosser Studies
skipcard The Pornographic Works of Pliny The Younger/T/Translation work with illustrations.
skipcard Subjugating Other Cultures/T/Vocational Module
skipcard The Project/T/Alas, this is sooo dull that once you play it you lose your next go.
skipcard Life Skills: Zombie Attack Preperation/T/A Practical Guide
skipcard Taming The Panda Within/T/Some beasts are more dangerous than others...
skipcard Condiments of the Lost Kings/T/Marmite is sick & wrong.
skipcard Surprise Through The Ages/T/The element of surprise is grossly underestimated
skipcard Cache of Drugs/T/Prevents any negative card being played against you specifically, with the exception of Police Raid. ("Everybody loves their dealer!")
skipcard Real Life Skull/T/Bones are cool. You have a skull (two if you count the one in your head).
skipcard Swordy Swordy Sword/T/You can swing your Sword at any time. You break suff. Discard one of your Things (not the Sword) and one Thing of another Player's.
skipcard Plonk/T/A bottle of cheap... actually the label has fallen off. You may keep the cheap alcohol or discard to force another Player to lose one Module
skipcard Disability/T/Your department are afraid of being sued.%r%rAnything which causes you to discard a Module causes you to discard one less than you normally would.
skipcard Borrowed Book From Lecturer/T/There are other places to go for books when the library closes... thank goodness!%r%rPlace with a Module - you cannot be forced to part with that module while The Borrowed Book From Lecturer is in play.
skipcard Library Book/T/Somehow you find a useful book in the library. Place with a Module. You cannot be forced to part with that Module while the Library Book is in play.
skipcard Whiskey/T/You may keep it to yourself or use it to prevent a negative Action being played against you. Discard this card after use.
skipcard 5 Pints of Real Man's Cider/T/Upon Playing may be given to any Player. The Player in possession of 5 Pints of Old Rosie misses their next go due to being unconcious. This card is then discarded.
skipcard Roleplaying Book/T/You have a roleplaying book. Geek
skipcard Society Membership/T/There is only really only one type of society in Lampete: a drinking society! Ignore the negative effect of any card based on alcohol/drinking. Discard after use.
skipcard The Magical Network/T/Having discovered the mythical mobile phone network that works everywhere you are able to hold one more item. Your hand is increased by +1 card while this card is in play.
skipcard A Car!/T/You can drive! You can escape this insanity for a day! Negates the loss of 1 Thing. Discard once used.
skipcard Lampeter Miles/T/Play to an opponent. They can only play 1 Action OR 1 Thing while this card is in their possession.
skipcard A Friend To Take Notes/T/Never lose a turn while in possession of this card.
skipcard A House Off Campus/T/Costs more money, you're further from the library, friends, lecture halls... but at least you get a good night's sleep. While in play you get +1 in your hand.
skipcard Egg-o-Destiny/T/Someone Ninjes you house. Lose 1 turn to clean up, or take vengence and pass this card on to another Player. Can only be passed on 3 times. Discard after all turns have been missed.
skipcard Hardship Fund/T/Draw and extra card each turn. ("Free? I'll take it!")
skipcard Sit-In/T/Lose this card instead of a Module should you need to discard one.
skipcard Overdue Library Book/T/Play against an Opponent. Lose 1 Thing or Module per turn until the Overdue Library Book can be returned (discarded). If not returned (discarded) after six turns; discard hand.
skipcard The VC's Pet/T/Protects two of your Modules while pet lives... ("I'd do anything for Fluffles")
skipcard Emo-itis/T/You have been struck down by the mighty and terrible Emo Plague. Now you must miss ever other go so you have time to sit in your room and write bad poetry using your own blood, until you find the elusive Pills of Happiness.
skipcard Menopausal Department Admin/A/If player is male - negate the effects of any Action card that would cause you to lose a Module. Can be played at any time. If player is female - lose a Module or three Things.
skipcard Flood/A/Miss a turn. If player holds House Off Campus then lose a Thing. ("Who builds accomodation on one side of a river and lecture halls on the other?!")
skipcard Local Chavs/A/Select a player to lose 2 Things
skipcard Drinker's Degree/A/If the Player has 6 or more modules, they must discard 3. ("I write my best essays drunk!!")
skipcard The Maz effect/A/Choose a Player to lose 2 turns.
skipcard The Handbag Effect/A/Everyone loses 1 Thing
skipcard Critical Fail/A/Too much roleplaying? Select a Player to lose 1 Module
skipcard Fresher's Flu/A/Select a Player. They must discard 3 Things or 1 Module
skipcard Charity Book Shop Raid/A/Ty Agored have just been given all the set books!! Go through the Discard or Draw pile. If you find a module, it's yours.
skipcard Resits/A/Can be played at anytime. Prevent the loss of 1 Module.
skipcard Water Works/A/About to fail a module? Turn on the tears and save your ass. Negates the loss of 1 Module. Can be played at any time. Cannot be played against Menopausal Department Admin.
skipcard Library Recall/A/All books are Discarded except Book Borrowed From Lecturer
skipcard Lies And Misinformation/A/Everyone rotates three Things to the Player on their left. If they cannot do this then they miss a turn.
skipcard Kill The VC's Pet/A/R.I.P Fluffles. Destroy The VC's Pet and discard any protected Modules.
skipcard Distance Learner/A/Player of your choice discards half of their Modules in play (round up).
skipcard I'm A Lecturer Too.../A/Forces the player to your left to discard one module.
skipcard hiding the Books/A/All other Players must discard the last Thing they have played.
skipcard Identity Theft/A/Swap your Modules and Things in play with those of another Player. They miss the next 2 turns.
skipcard University Lecturers Strike/A/Everyone must discard the Modules they have in play.
skipcard Fancy a Course Change?/A/Discard ALL Modules and draw three cards.
skipcard Sudden Illness/Laziness/Death/A/Player of your choice loses 3 Modules as they are forced to repeat a year.
skipcard Alex's Hyper Speed/A/Gain an extra turn (in normal circumstances you can play 2 more Things and 1 more Action).
skipcard Start a Crazy, Crazy Society/A/Every player discards one card from their hand as they waste their time with this folly.
skipcard 16's On The Rampage (minus Prince Charles)/A/Each player discards one Thing in play. If they have no things the 16's mock them for their poverty.
skipcard Become and Exec Member/A/This action is a complete waste of time... but you did a great job last forum!
skipcard Cramming Before an Exam/A/In addition to playing your usual Thing and Action you may play another Thing if you have it.
skipcard Student Numbers Are Falling/A/The only solution is to lower standards. Go through the discard pile and play the first Module you come across.
skipcard Engage in a Debate/A/Take possession of a Module from another Player. As this does not count as discarding, having a Disability won't help the poor benighted fool.
skipcard Z-Day Plan/A/Truly, your preparation for this even is staggering. If the Module Zombie Attack Preperation is in the discard pile then take it and play immediately.
skipcard Run a Roleplaying Game/A/It's fun but it's a waste of time. No more Action cards may be played until your next turn.
skipcard Increasing Student Numbers/A/The lecturers can be as harsh as they want. Every Player possessing a Module(s) loses one.
skipcard Alcohol+Laptop=Dead Laptop/A/Player of your choise discards 2 Modules OR 3 Things.
skipcard The Book You Requested is Missing/A/Player of your choise must discard one Module
skipcard Hoise By Your Own Pet 'Tard/A/A Player of your choise loses a turn as an irritating buffoon follows them around.
skipcard Police Raid!/A/Anyone with an illegal Thing has to flee or end up in prison. The players in question are out of the game and all their cards are destroyed.
skipcard It Was All Just A LARP Event/A/Negates ANY Action (including Police Raid)
skipcard Incriminating Evidence/A/If Police Raid! is played against you, select another player to take down with you. Can be the player who played Police Raid! against you.
skipcard Doctor's Note/A/The only known defense against Menopausal Department Admin if you're female. Can be played at any time to negate the effects of Menopausal Department Admin.
skipcard Crazy Thursday/A/Negates the use of 'Car' as you become the weekly charity taxi.
skipcard Sense of Direction/A/Having discovered all of the short cuts Lampeter has to offer, you are no longer affected by Lampeter Miles. Discard both cards.
skipcard Discover Anti-Socal Networks/A/After months, years even, of nay-saying such things you finally sell your soul and join. Now you are addicted and just keep coming back for more. Miss a go.
skipcard Pills Of Happiness/A/The only known cure for the Emo Plague. If you are unaffected, discard. Once used, discard.
@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Lampy Land Deck into the Dvorak Engine.

Back to the Lampy Land Deck