To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
(You can also get an output formatted for the Dvorax Engine.)
cleardeckskipcard "Things just happen, dammit!!!"/T/While this card is in play, no cards with the words "cosmos" or "universe" in them have any effect, and no-one can look through the deck for any reason.skipcard "Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a ____!"/A/Select any number of tokens under your control. Destroy them, and replace them with that many doctor tokens. ("Sickbay on the NCC-1701. A place to avoid, if you have a red shirt.")skipcard 1-up/A/Play this card when you would be eliminated. Destroy one hundred tokens or Things to stay in the game ("Mario not-a die that easy!")skipcard Mana Fount/T/For all non-victory purposes, all players are assumed to have an infinite amount of Mana Tokens.skipcard Nixie/T/Nixie may not be destroyed unless you have no other Things in play. Action: Have any two of your opponents switch hands. If you only have one opponent, draw a card instead.skipcard [The Democracy Card]/T/This card's title, colour and text are decided by majority vote once it comes into play. Once this card has had its title, colour and text decided, it comes under the control of a random player.skipcard Under-Secretary's Second Assistant/T/Action: Look at the bottom card in the draw pile. If it is an Action, has a name that is fewer than 6 syllables and it is red, put it into your hand. Otherwise, shuffle the draw pile. You can only use this ability once every third turn of yours. ("I don't even know what I do.")skipcard Hypnosis/A/A chosen opponent discards a card at random.skipcard Furnace/T/Action: Remove all cards in the discard pile from the game.skipcard Destroy Everything/A/Remove all cards in play, in the discard pile, in the draw pile, in players hands, or in any other location from play. This card may only be played for this effect when it is February 29th, it is the last card in the players hand, and it is raining in Tokyo. In all other situations, this card reads: "Draw a card."skipcard Codpiece/T/Action: Fire crotch-based laser - Destroy a Thing. ("Why, God, why did you let this exist!?")skipcard The Orb/T/When The Orb would be destroyed by a Thing, destroy the Thing instead. When The Orb would be destroyed by an Action, ignore the Action. Your hand size is 3.%rAction: Erase target Thing's Action ability.%rAction: Draw 2 cards. ("It is The Orb.")skipcard Monastic Lessons/T/Draw a card at the end of each turn of yours where you did not speak. (""I'm glad to see we've moved on past the duct tape."")skipcard Might Makes Right/A/Arm-wrestle target player. The winner draws 3 cards.skipcard TFG: Transformation Gun/T/Action: Target living thing becomes male if female, and female if male or unknown. (""Quite disturbing, seeing one's son like that." -- Mr. Verres, El Goonish Shive, 2003-01-27")skipcard Dewitchery Diamond/T/Action: Target living thing which has become altered in form is cloned, one clone having the altered form and the other reverting to normal. (""Put down the newspaper, dear." -- Mrs. Dunkle, El Goonish Shive, 2003-02-06")skipcard Brick/T/This card represents a brick.skipcard Target Thing/T/Whenever the words 'target Thing' appear, it automatically applies to Target Thing.skipcard A Random Thing/T/Whenever a card's text includes the words 'a random Thing', it automatically applies to A Random Thing.skipcard The Element of Surprise/T/Action: Starting with you, each player draws a card and either plays it immediately or discards it.skipcard Clearing the Air/A/Starting with you, each player plays a card from their hand, if they have one, or discards a card. Repeat until every player's hand is empty.skipcard Spiked Ceiling/T/As this comes into play, each player may discard any number of cards. If a player ever has five cards in their hand, they are immediately eliminated.skipcard Counterproductivity/T/Whenever a player plays a card, they must also discard a card from their hand. Whenever a player would draw a card, they discard that many cards instead.skipcard What They Mean/T/All Money tokens have 'Action: Destroy X Money tokens and gain control of X÷2 Things'.skipcard Razorblade Candy/A/Draw any number of cards and destroy twice that many Things you control.skipcard Full Steam Ahead/T/Action: Destroy five Things you control, to take another turn after this one.skipcard Shadow Detachment/A/Each player puts one Shadow token into play for every non-Token Thing they control.skipcard Hell/T/When a card would go to the discard pile, you may instead remove it from the game.skipcard Heaven/T/When a card would be removed from the game, you may instead send it to the discard pile. This can not negate the effects of Hell, nor can Hell negate these effects. ("With apology to Kevan....")skipcard Poison/T/You may give Poison to any Player when you play it. %r%rAt the start of your turn, put a counter on Poison.%rIf Poison ever has 6 or more counters on it, you lose.skipcard The Mute Button/T/Action: Target player cannot speak until the beginning of your next turn. ("You're really getting annoying.")skipcard Guilt/T/Whenever a player destroys a Thing belonging to another player or causes another player to discard cards from their hand, they gain a Guilt token. Whenever a player has 4 Guilt tokens, they are eliminated from the game. %rAction: Give control of a Thing you control to another player and destroy a Guilt token you control.skipcard Put All of Your Eggs in One Basket/A/Draw X cards and skip your next X turns.skipcard Fake Ending/T/If a player would win the game, instead destroy this card and continue playing.skipcard Facebook Viral/A/Target opponent with a Facebook account must update their status to "is losing at Dvorak" and discard a card, or otherwise discard their hand.skipcard Bonfire of the Vanities/A/Each player secretly chooses a number of cards to discard. All players then discard that number of cards - if one player discarded more cards than all other players, they may draw three cards.skipcard Zebra/T/If you control copies of this card, none of them can be destroyed. This card is white in addition to being black.skipcard Reality and Whatever/T/Things can only destroy Things that they would be capable of physically destroying in real life. Abstract Things cannot destroy tangible Things and vice-versa. All abstract Things are considered capable of destroying one another.skipcard AAAAAGH!/A/Panic panic panic stress stress stress! Play all the cards in your hand! No time to draw for the next five turns! Aaagh! You have to <i>screeeeam</i> to do this!skipcard A Nice Cup of Tea/A/Draw until you have five cards in your hand, and skip your next turn.skipcard Dude of Coral (S5)/T/Action: Change target Thing's text, colour and title to that of this card.skipcard Pity Party/A/Each player draws a number of cards equal to the number of their relatives who died during the player's lifetime.skipcard Colourblind Society/T/No cards have any colour.skipcard Hyperload/T/At the start of each player's turn, that player must use every one of their Things' Action abilities. They all take effect simultaneously and do not count against any action frequency limits. (Ignore any Action abilities that cannot be legally used.)skipcard Arbitrary renumbering (5)/T/On all cards other than this one, replace all instances of "five" with "two" and all instances of '5' with '2'.skipcard Assassin's Dart (1L)/A/Destroy target Thing which does not have another Thing played onto it, and has not been played onto another Thing.skipcard Magic Mirror/T/Whenever an opponent plays an Action card, you may destroy Magic Mirror to play a copy of that Action.skipcard Bean Machine/T/Whenever a card is added to any player's hand, it is added to the leftmost position. Only the rightmost card in a player's hand may be played. The order of cards in a hand may not be changed.skipcard Glass Ceiling (Not Zaratustra's)/T/No player, under any circumstances, can control more than 20 Things, including this one. If a player controls 25 Things, they win. It is impossible to win otherwise. ("Figure this one out!")skipcard Patriotism/T/When this card comes into play, destroy all Things whose colour is not one of the colours of the flag of the country in which the game is taking place. No card may be played if its colour is not one of the colours on the flag of said country. This card's colour is the colour of your choice, given that the colour appears on the country's flag.skipcard Wall of Wooden Fists/T/Each token counts as half a Thing. ("Why is this card called Wall of Wooden Fists?")skipcard Work of Art/T/Play only if you control three Things. You may not play further Things. If a Thing you control leaves play, destroy this Thing. At the start of each of your turns, put an Artistic Value token into play. If you control five Artistic Value tokens, you win the game.skipcard Packing Plant/T/If you control ten Crate tokens, you win the game. Action: Destroy a non-Token Thing you control and put a Crate token into play.skipcard Zombie Attack/A/Pick an opponent. Two random Things they control are destroyed.skipcard Pretend We're Dead (L7)/T/Play at the end of any turn. Return each non-Token Thing that was destroyed this turn to play under your control.skipcard T3h R4p7ur3/A/Each player chooses a letter or number. Destroy each Thing whose title does not begin with one of the chosen letters or numbers.skipcard Fake Out In Buenos Aires/T/At the start of your turn, choose a Thing with two or more words in its title and that does not have the word "Fake" in its title. Change one of the words in that card's title to "Fake". <BR><BR> If there are ten things in play with the word "Fake" in their titles, you win the game.skipcard Archival Duty/A/Play only if there are more than twenty Things in play. Destroy five Things.skipcard Klansman/T/Action: Destroy target non-white Thing. (""Why do people hate '''me? I'm''' supposed to hate!"")skipcard Attack of the Graveyard from Beyond the Grave!/A/Destroy a number of Things equal to the number of cards in the discard pile.skipcard Moon Prism Crystal Cosmic Crisis Eternal Power Make Up!/A/In the turn this is played you are not affected by any cards with MOON, CRYSTAL, COSMIC, CRISIS, ETERNAL and PRISM ithe their names.skipcard Do/A/When this card is played, each player writes down a text for an Action (which cannot be related to victory) on a piece of paper without showing it to any other player. Then, randomly select a player. This card's text is considered to be the text that the random player wrote down, with the same player making any decisions it calls for.skipcard Change the Course of History/A/Shuffle the draw pile. You can play this card during another player's turn, but if you do, you can't play an Action on your next turn.skipcard Killer Glare (3G)/T/The effects of your cards always override the effects of all other players' cards. (""Don't make me glare at you."")skipcard Berdina's Power/A/In the turn this is played you will look to all your opponents hand and take all cards that are color green(of any shade) or cards with green in their names.skipcard Moon Kaleidoscopic Mirror Scepter/T/Action: Moon Healing Princess Spiral Rainbow Gorgeous Starlight Kiss!,Select an opponent and destroy all his/her controled things or destroy all your opponent's things with the card RAINBOW SAILORMOON .skipcard Boost (4B)/A/Draw two cards. You may take two extra Actions this turn.skipcard Booming Echo/A/Discard an Action card - you get to play two copies of it, and an opponent of your choice gets to play one copy of it.skipcard Twist or Stick/A/Draw and reveal a card. You may choose to repeat this any number of times, but if the revealed cards have a total of ten or more words in their titles, they must all be discarded and this card effect ends.skipcard Strange Weather/T/Attach an Action card from your hand to this card. At the start of each player's turn, they must play a copy of that Action - it doesn't count toward their Action-per-turn limit.skipcard Stop/A/All of you opponents may not play any cards the next turn. Their Things in play still have effect.skipcard Manga Attack!/A/Discard a card when you play this. Destroy one target Thing, plus one more for every 2 words in the discarded card's title.skipcard Shapeshifter/T/At the start of each of your turns, choose a living Thing in play. Until the start of your next turn, this is an exact copy of that Thing.skipcard Eternal Cosmic Moon Power Bubble Rainbow Blast/A/Destroy target Token.skipcard Grave Robbing/A/Choose a Thing from the discard pile and put it into play under your control.skipcard The Big Push/T/Whenever an Action is played, the player playing it must destroy a Thing they control, otherwise the Action has no effect.skipcard Dvorak is Not For the Faint of Heart (I1)/A/Shout 'BOO!' in target player's face. If they show surprise, they discard 2 cards.skipcard Meteorology Groove/A/If it is sunny, play a card. If it is raining, draw a card. If it is windy, return a Thing to its owner's hand. If it is snowing, erase a Thing's text. If there is a thunderstorm, destroy a Thing. If it is hailing, destroy 2 Things. If it is cloudy, skip a player's next turn. If there is a rainbow, win the game.skipcard Spork (4P)/T/When this card is played, pick 2 Things you control. This card's text is that of one of those Things plus the following sentence: Action: Replace this card's text, except for this sentence, with the text of the other selected Thing.skipcard Memory Metal/T/If the top card of the discard pile is a Thing, this card counts as a copy of it.skipcard Automatic Warfare/T/Players skip their draw phases, and cannot play cards (but can play Action abilities). If a player has no cards with Action abilities, or if both players agree that the warfare is over, this card is destroyed.skipcard Pickpocket/A/Gain control of a token. If there are no tokens in play, gain control of a Thing.skipcard Pac-Man Physics/T/Whenever a Thing is destroyed, control of it is given to the player on its controller's right; it is not put in the discard pile. ("Waka waka waka waka waka.")skipcard _________ Chaos!/A/Give 3 copies (excluding the original) of target Thing to each player.skipcard Chance/A/You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Put ten Money tokens into play.skipcard Renewable Energy/T/When this comes into play, shuffle the discard pile into the draw pile. Action: Draw a card for every card in the discard pile, then shuffle the discard pile into the draw pile.skipcard Pile 'Em High/A/If a player has more tokens than any other player, they may draw three cards.skipcard Mr. Xcitement/T/Whenever you play a card, except for the first card you play each turn, put a counter on Mr. Xcitement. %r%r Remove a counter from Mr. Xcitement: Draw a card. ("Awwwwwww yes!")skipcard Balance (1W)/A/Except the player who controls the fewest tokens, each player destroys tokens they control until all players control the same number of tokens as the player who controls the fewest. Players discard cards the same way, then destroy non-token Things they control the same way.skipcard Card Tax/T/Whenever any player would draw a card, they must destroy a Token they control in order to draw it. (If they have no tokens, they cannot draw.) When there are no tokens in play, destroy this card.skipcard Radiation Epicentre/T/When you play this, put five Biohazard tokens into play. While there are Biohazard tokens in play, Thing cards may not be played.skipcard Time Stop (0T)/A/Discard a card, take another turn after this one, and return this card to your hand. You may not use the Action abilities of Things on that turn, or play any Actions other than this one.skipcard The End of 'Carded' (10S)/T/As soon as this card has been in play for 10 seconds, destroy all Things in play. ("If you get the reference, good for you.")skipcard The Human Bullet (1S)/T/Action: Crumple The Human Bullet into a ball, throw it onto the table from at least 4 feet away, and destroy the first Thing it touches. You may only do this once. (""Fire me, boy!"")skipcard Darkroom/T/While this card is in play, replace each card's colour its opposite colour. ("This card's effect makes it red, so the darkroom reference works out in the end.")skipcard Headcrab/T/Play onto any living Thing. You have control of it while Headcrab is in play.skipcard Spelling Bee/T/If the first letter of each card in a player's hand can be rearranged to spell a five-letter word, they may reveal their hand to win the game.skipcard Fear and Surprise/A/Put a Thing from play on top of the draw pile.skipcard Barry (O1)/T/Change Barry's name to the name of another Thing in play when Barry is played. That Thing's text is considered blank until Barry is destroyed. (""Shut up about the Happy Box!"")skipcard The Evil Midnight Bomber (What Bombs at Midnight!) (12B)/T/Action Put a Bomb token into play. Bomb tokens cannot be destroyed by Thing effects or Things' Action abilities. Once every 12 minutes, destroy all Bomb tokens in play and an equal number of Things. (""Tell me I'm wrong, baby! I can't, 'cause you're not, baby!"")@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Infinite Dvorak deck/Cards 1101-1200 into the Dvorak Engine.