To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
(You can also get an output formatted for the Dvorax Engine.)
cleardeckskipcard Minimalist/T/skipcard punch/A/any thing that's name sounds like a person gets disabled for one turn ("Low blow!")skipcard Up Quark/T/Action and thing: Draw a card for every Quark in play.skipcard Electrino/T/At the beginning of your turn you may destroy this card and put a copy of an Electron from the Infinite Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play. <BR> ("It is really a Electron neutrino.")skipcard Electron/T/If there's a quark in play this card has the following ability Action: Create an energy token.skipcard Life Support (1V)/T/You cannot be eliminated from the game. You cannot lose the game unless someone else wins the game at the same time.skipcard Brainwash (2V)/A/Gain control of target Thing until the end of your next turn. You may take an extra Action this turn.skipcard Cannibalize (3V)/A/Destroy target Thing. Its controller draws three cards.skipcard Ventriloquist/T/Action: Activate target Thing's Action ability.skipcard Evil Dummy/T/Play into target opponent's control. At the end of your turn, roll a die; on a 3 or 4, discard a random card, and on a 5 or 6, destroy a random Thing you control. Action: This card's controller is eliminated.skipcard Chopping Block/T/Play into target opponent's control. If anyone would be eliminated, you are eliminated instead.skipcard A Night in a Graveyard/T/At the beginning of your turn (if you can) destroy n non-token things you control, where n is the number of undeads you control.<BR>Action: Destroy target thing and put a zombie token into play.skipcard A Night in a Desecrated Church/A/Every living thing in play is replaced with a vampire or with a zombie token, with you deciding each time.skipcard Buried Alive!/T/You may play this under an opponent's control. You cannot play living things.skipcard Charm Quark/T/Action and thing: Take control of a thing for every Quark in playskipcard Gluon/T/At the beginning of your turn you may use Gluon to replicate an Action ability of any Quark in play. Everybody may use the following ability Action and Thing: Create a copy of Gluon. There can only be a total of 8 Gluons in play, with new ones replacing the oldest.skipcard W+/- boson/A/Can be discarded to use as an energy token.%r Either Search the draw or discard piles a Quark thing OR replicate any Action ability of a Quark in play.skipcard Rendezvous with Satan/A/Target player is eliminated, unless she discards a card. If she controls any undeads, she is eliminated again, unless she discards two cards.skipcard Mermaid/T/Instead of playing a thing, you may draw a card.<BR>Instead of drawing a card, you may play a thing.skipcard Bribery, Laser Guns and Zombies/A/You may destroy two money tokens you control to gain control of target thing. You may destroy two energy tokens you control to destroy target thing. You may destroy five undeads you control to eliminate an opponent who doesn't control undeads.skipcard Top Quark/T/Action and Thing: Reveal cards from the draw pile for every Quark in play. Play all actions revealed.skipcard Mutrino/T/At the beginning of your turn you may destroy this card and put a copy of a Muon from the Infinite Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play. <BR> ("It is really a Muon neutrino")skipcard Muon/T/If there ss a quark in play Action: Destroy a thing. Otherwise Action and Thing: replace this card with a copy of 2 Quarks from the Infinite Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play.skipcard Wisdom of the Elders (99)/T/All Things in play when Wisdom of the Elders comes into play have Age 100. Each Thing played has an Age one less than the last Thing played, minimum Age zero. When rules on two cards are in conflict, the card with greater Age controls. ("In *my* day...")skipcard That's So Last Week (1)/T/All Things in play when That's So Last Week comes into play have Newness 0. Each Thing played has Newness one more than the last Thing played, maximum Newness 100. When rules on two cards are in conflict, the card with greater Newness controls. ("The olden days? Earlier this morning!")skipcard Down Quark/T/Action and thing: Discard a card for every Quark in playskipcard Photon/T/Counts as an energy token Action: create energy token Thing: Create energy tokenskipcard Positron/T/Destroy this card if a new Quark comes into play. Thing: Create an energy token.skipcard Magic Frame/T/Action: Destroy a non-token Thing and replace it with a Sketch token, or destroy a Sketch token and replace it with a Thing from the discard pile.skipcard Quark Node/T/All Nodes are also Quarks. All Quarks are also Nodes.skipcard Overenthusiasm/T/Whenever a Thing uses an Action Ability, it uses it twice and is then destroyed.skipcard Genie in a Jar/A/You have a free wish. I'm not joking! Just create a new card, But don't shuffle it into the deck. ("Not nearly as reliable as the bottled variety.")skipcard Strange Quark/T/Action and Thing: Reveal your hand. For every quark in play, play that many cards from your hand and then draw to replace played cards.skipcard Tautrino/T/At the beginning of your turn you may destroy this card and put a copy of a Tauon from the Infinate Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play. <BR> ("It is really a Tauon neutrino.")skipcard Tauon/T/If there are no quarks in play this card has the following ability Thing: create a copy of a quark from the Infinate Dvorak Deck Archive and put it into play. <BR> otherwise Action: Destroy this card and flip a coin if Heads Take control of a quark in play. else if Tails Destroy one of your own quarksskipcard Doomed/A/Pick a Thing and a player. That player may immediately play an Action or Action ability they control; if the chosen Thing is still in play afterwards, the player must discard their hand.skipcard Gravedigger/T/Whenever a Thing is destroyed, draw a card.skipcard Post Peak Cardboard/T/Whenever a player draws a card, they must destroy a Thing they control, if they have one. Players may choose to skip card draws.skipcard Bottom Quark/T/Action and Thing: Reveal cards from the draw pile for every Quark in play. play all things revealed.skipcard Z boson/A/With a minimum of 1 trigger an action ability of any thing in play for every Quark in play.skipcard Meson Stream/T/Action and Thing: For every Quark in play, destroy a thingskipcard Fimo/T/Action: Change a token into a different type of token.skipcard Paper Cuts/A/Each player puts one Finger token into play, for each card in their hand.skipcard Storage Node (4V)/T/Your maximum hand size is increased by 1 for each Node you control.skipcard Bottled Action (5V)/T/When Bottled Action is destroyed, you may immediately play an extra Action. ("Even if it isn't your turn.")skipcard Shatter (6V)/A/Destroy a Thing you control.skipcard Token Smasher/T/Action: Destroy a token and put three Fragment tokens into play in its place.skipcard Portcullis/T/Thing cards may not be played. Action: Return this card to your hand.skipcard Kaon/T/Action: Destroy Kaon and play three cards. This ability is triggered automatically on Kaon's third turn in play.skipcard Pion/T/Action: Search the deck for a Particle, put it into your hand, and shuffle the deck.skipcard Particle Accelerator/T/Destroy five Money tokens when this card comes into play. At the beginning of your turn, draw ten cards and discard them immediately. If any of them is a Particle, you win.skipcard Networked Assault (7V)/A/Destroy one target Thing, plus one more target Thing for each Node you control.skipcard Greater Necromancy (8V)/A/Return up to two living Things in the discard pile to play under your control.skipcard Midget Joke (9V)/A/The player with the fewest cards in their hand skips their next turn. ("The Midget's Rights groups around here aren't big enough to do anything about it.")skipcard Proton/T/Action and Thing: Search the top 100 cards of the draw pile for a thing, put it in your hand. (shuffle optional)skipcard Neutron/T/Action and Thing: attach to a particle in play. Rules text on that card now applies to all players. If it has any abilities, any player may use them.skipcard Mote in God's eye/T/May be played on another, Until owner destroys this thing they cannot play cards from their but may use all abilities of every card in play. ("You would still draw and discard.")skipcard The Comfort of Strangers/A/Draw a card for every non-player you can persuade to say "draw a card", in the next three minutes.skipcard Atomize/A/Destroy a thing and replace it with three Particle Tokens.skipcard Durk/T/Action and Thing: Create a Quark Tokenskipcard The Red Wheelbarrow/T/Action: <BR>so much depends<BR>upon<BR>a red wheel<BR>barrow<BR>glazed with rain<BR>water<BR>beside the white<BR>chickens<BR><BR>If you can figure out what this card's ability does, you win.skipcard Zombie plague (Z1)/A/Create a zombie token for every token in playskipcard Roshambo/A/Target player discards their hand and skips their next turn. ("That's not how your supposed to play. It's really Rock, Paper, Scissors")skipcard Carnac the Magnificent/T/Action: Play a random card from someone else's hand. ("Carnac the Magnificent says the answer is Detroit")skipcard PIE!!!/A/This card does not use up your action turn. Discard a card. If you do, you get an additional turn after this one. A player may only use this once per game. (""I liek PIE!"")skipcard I can has cheezburger?/A/All cards that have something to do with food (Are food, are animals that are commonly eaten, or involve food.) and are in hands of any players must be placed on the draw pile. Draw one card. (""I can has cheezburger?"")skipcard Dry Ice/T/While this card is in play, tokens in play are treated as if they do not exist.skipcard Metal Fatigue/A/Destroy a Thing whose Action ability has been used three or more times since it came into play.skipcard Rigelian Hotshot/A/A chosen player discards a card at random. If it was an Action, play this card again immediately.skipcard And the Horse You Rode In On/A/Destroy target thing that is an animal or a form of transportation.skipcard This Card has No Title (0)/T/All Things in play when this Thing comes into play, that have ruletext that applies to the Thing itself must add the text "with the exception of this card" after that rule. WIth the exception of this card. ("To understand recursion, the first step is to understand recursion.")skipcard B.F.G./T/Action: Destroy X energy tokens, destroy X things. ("If you have to ask what it stands for, you don't wanna know.")skipcard Zombie Node/T/Action: Destroy one of your living things, create a Zombie token for every node in play.skipcard Probing Node/T/Action and Thing: trigger an action ability for every node in play.skipcard Really Big Card/T/Solely for the purpose of any game effect that counts a number of cards (including end-of-turn discard), this counts as three cards while in your hand, and three Things while in play.skipcard Diverse Portfolio/T/If a player controls more different types of token than any other player, and has at least ten such types, they win the game.skipcard Iron Fist (1W)/T/You may destroy any of your Things at any time. ("Even if it isn't your turn.")skipcard Catalyst Node (2W)/T/You play one extra Action per turn per Node you control. You cannot use the extra Action slots to use Action abilities of Nodes.skipcard Portal Node (3W)/T/You play one extra Thing per turn per Node you control. You cannot use the extra Thing slots to use abilities of Nodes.skipcard Sixteen Ton Weight/T/As this comes into play, you must destroy a Thing you control, if you have one. Sixteen Ton Weight cannot be destroyed.skipcard Shoot-out/A/List all Things in play that have an Action ability including the word "destroy". Order these Things alphabetically by title, then trigger the Action abilities in order, controlled by the owner of the Thing. Multiple abilities on the same card all trigger. If a Thing's ability cannot operate, the Thing's owner discards a card from hand and destroys the Thing. If unable to do so, the owner is eliminated.skipcard Monte Carlo Method/A/List all Things in play that have an Action ability including the word "random". Order these Things randomly, then trigger the Action abilities in order, controlled by the owner of the Thing. Multiple abilities on the same card all trigger in random order. If a Thing's ability cannot operate, the Thing's owner discards a card and destroys the Thing. If unable to do so, the owner is eliminated.skipcard Secured Lockbox/T/If Secured Lockbox is destroyed by a player other than its owner, both the destroyer and the owner win the game. If Secured Lockbox is destroyed by its owner, the owner is eliminated. Secured Lockbox cannot be destroyed.skipcard Advanced Targeting System/T/Actions you play cannot have their targets changed.skipcard Interference/T/Play in response to an Action. Its controller chooses a new target, you choose a new target, then choose a random target.<BR>The Action randomly targets one of the three.skipcard Big Rock Ending/A/Draw five cards and play your whole hand. If at the end of the turn there are no things in play and you have no cards in your hand, you win.skipcard Oval Office/T/The occupant of Oval Office may veto three events (play of a card, use of an action ability, etc). These events are cancelled and cannot be re-attempted until the player's next turn, UNLESS a 2/3 majority of other players vote to override the veto. After the third veto attempt, destroy Oval Office.skipcard My Bifocals Are Missing!/T/Cards with small text ("longtext=true") do not apply to the controller of My Bifocals Are Missing! Action: Destroy a card with small text.skipcard Vorpal Bandyclef (15)/T/Action: Destroy target living Thing or return target non-living Thing to its controller's hand, and return Vorpal Bandyclef to your hand. ("Adapted from the Progress Quest deck")skipcard Placate the Bacon Elementals/T/At the beginning of your third turn after playing this card, destroy it and draw five cards. ("Adapted from the Progress Quest deck")skipcard Hastiness/T/Action: If target opponent attempts to play any Action or Thing on their next turn, they have a 50% chance of failing. ("Adapted from the Progress Quest deck")skipcard Bottled Bottle (4W)/T/When Bottled Bottle is destroyed, return it to play.%rAction:Destroy Bottled Bottle. ("Not that it does anything")skipcard Thanks for the Snacks!/T/If the controller of this card provided snacks for this game session, and they are still uneaten, the controller may choose to play two Actions or two Things in a turn when he/she would have otherwise played an Action and a Thing.skipcard Not right now, I'm on the computer!/A/End your turn immediately. Until your turn, none of your cards may be affected by any other player's cards effects.skipcard Near-infinite Regress/A/Record the state of the game. Remove the 20 cards in the game that are oldest (in the Infinite Dvorak Game wiki). Shuffle and begin a new game. If/when that ends, restore the condition in the original game EXCEPT all players who won the "subgame" draw a card and all players eliminated from the subgame discard a card. ("This card is in the new game, at least the first few times.")skipcard Grand Theft Auto/T/You may skip your turn to destroy a Cop token. Action: If you control no Cop tokens, then gain control of a Thing and put a Cop token into play.skipcard Sapper/T/If a Thing (other than this one) has a Sapper token on it, its card text is blank. If it has three Sapper tokens, destroy it. Action: Put a Sapper token onto any Thing.skipcard Pest Control/T/Action: Destroy any number of Things you control.skipcard Sundive/A/Destroy five Money tokens and a Thing you control. Gain five cards and ten Money tokens.skipcard The Best Things In Life Are Free ($0)/A/Put target Thing under your control.@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Infinite Dvorak deck/Cards 2701-2800 into the Dvorak Engine.