|
um. It's a rock. And it's big. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
only i can see the moon's master plan |
|
Thing |
|
You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand. Action: look at the top card of the deck. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 3 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
it could be wor- DONT SAY IT! |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
um. It's a rock. And it's big. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player
How do I hold it? Like an ant!
...What? |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
only i can see the moon's master plan |
|
Thing |
|
You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand.
Action: look at the top card of the deck. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 5 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
it could be wor- DONT SAY IT! |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Draw a card for each person that you are.
we don't have multiple personalities. *twitch* |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Draw four cards. Give one to an opponent, and keep the rest. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Action+Thing: destroy Wall of Paper. Any player may use this ability.
So I said to myself, self, it looks like that thing could survive a Nuclear Apocalypse. Then I looked closer. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
Electric Barbed Wire Pit Trap With Poison Spikes |
2 |
|
Defender Thing |
|
Whenever this card takes any amount of damage, you may have this card deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
EBWPTWPS has a nice ring to it. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Action: deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player.
A pirate's card for me. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Behold The God Who Is Not |
|
Action |
|
Deal 1 damage to all Defender Things and unprotected players.
If he's a "god" who isn't, then why do we fear his wra-
*struck by falling objects* |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Take a Defender Thing with HP 3 or less out of the discard pile and into play under your control.
We recycle! |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
The Watchtower Is Watching |
|
Thing |
|
When anyone (even you! D:) plays a Defender Thing, flip a coin. On heads, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
While Meme is in play, all Defender Things are counted as having 1 HP.
imma firin' mah NINE THOUSAANND! |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Play on a Thing or Defender Thing. Treat that Thing's text as blank. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
Mystery Bob's Mystery Lair |
|
Thing |
|
Action: regenerate 1 point of health on a Defender Thing you control, up to its original maximum. That Defender Thing cannot protect you this turn.
...of mystery. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Choose one: Deal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player. OR Deal 1 damage to two separate Defender Things or unprotected players. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Note the number of Things each player controls. Shuffle all Things in play together, and return a number of Things to each player equal to the number of Things that they started with.
...sounds better that Quickly Traitors. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Whenever Unreliable Bodyguard would be dealt damage, flip a coin. On heads, you take 1 damage and Unreliable Bodyguard remains unharmed. On tails, Unreliable Bodyguard takes damage as normal.
For the last time, BAGELS ARE NO REASON TO ABANDON THE PRESIDENT! |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
This card comes into play with 3 zombie tokens on it. This card's HP is the number of zombie tokens on it. Action: move a zombie token onto a Thing. You control Things with zombie tokens on them. When this card leaves play, destroy all zombie tokens and return all taken Things to their owners. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
5-Foot Thick Depleted Uranium Walls |
3 |
|
Defender Thing |
|
Well, it looks very sturdy, but how do you breathe in there? Are there air holes or something? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose if you had to keep opening the door to get air? And what do you do about the radiation? Shut up. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player, then flip a coin. On heads, do 1 more damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. Repeat this process until tails comes up. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
The Carpet Has Betrayed Us |
|
Action |
|
Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Reduce the HP of target Defender Thing to 1.
It won't kill 'em, but it helps. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing.
It shoots super bullets at super long range with super accuracy for super effectiveness against infantry, unless the rifle is fulfilling a super anti-materiel role, in which case it disables the target with super efficiency. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
Untrained Defensive Troops |
2 |
|
Defender Thing |
|
If Untrained Defensive Troops is dealt damage but not destroyed, return it to your hand.
They're shootin' at us! RUN! |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
You may place one card face down under Swiss Bank. Action+Discard a card: Put the face down card under Swiss Bank into play under your control. If Swiss Bank is destroyed, the opponent may put the face down card under it into their hand. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
...With Necromancy Action! |
|
Action |
|
Return a Thing from the discard pile to play under your control. If it is a Defender Thing, it has 1 HP |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one.
I'm feeling uncreative. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one.
I'm feeling uncreative. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
If no one controls any Defender Things, you win the game. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
The Antithesis To Coherent Thought |
1 |
|
Defender Thing |
|
If The Antithesis To Coherent Thought is destroyed, you must discard a card at random, take 1 damage, and destroy a Thing you control. Action: put an insane counter on this card. if there are 3 insane counters on this card, you win.
So insane it just might work. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Your HP becomes 3. Play only if you have 1 HP or control no Defender Things.
Next time, you might not be so lucky. (well, for sure you won't, because there's only one Really Great Medic and no way to retrieve Action cards. So you won't be so lucky next time.) |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Play Slow-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of each of that Defender Thing's controller's turns, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage.
The slow but sure version of Fast-Acting Poison. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Play Fast-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of the Defender Thing's controller's turn, the Defender Thing takes 3 damage and Fast-Acting poison is destroyed.
The fast version of Slow-Acting Poison. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Destroy a Thing, but not a Defender Thing.
ew. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. The target may discard a card to take control of Hand Grenade Tennis and choose a new target to take damage. (Who also gets a chance to discard a card, continuing the sequence.) |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Deal 3 damage to a Defender Thing. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
Underestimate The Opposition |
|
Action |
|
Play only if you have less Things in play than your opponent(s). Target player destroys a Defender Thing they control or takes 1 damage.
Oh. So there are ten THOUSAND of them. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|
|
Regain any health lost in the previous turn.
you sure are. |
|
Card : eskimoboy |
|