Dvorak Export: Hour of randomness

Large Rock 1 Defender Thing um. It's a rock. And it's big. Card : eskimoboy	Ant-Sized Harpoon Action Deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. Card : eskimoboy	only i can see the moon's master plan Thing You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand. Action: look at the top card of the deck. Card : eskimoboy
Nuclear Apocalypse Action Deal 3 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. it could be wor- DONT SAY IT! Card : eskimoboy	Large Rock 1 Defender Thing um. It's a rock. And it's big. Card : eskimoboy	Ant-Sized Harpoon Action Deal 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player How do I hold it? Like an ant! ...What? Card : eskimoboy
only i can see the moon's master plan Thing You may play the top card of the deck as though it was in your hand. Action: look at the top card of the deck. Card : eskimoboy	Nuclear Apocalypse Action Deal 5 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. it could be wor- DONT SAY IT! Card : eskimoboy	Strength in Numbers Action Draw a card for each person that you are. we don't have multiple personalities. *twitch* Card : eskimoboy

The Pie Is Not All Mine Action Draw four cards. Give one to an opponent, and keep the rest. Card : eskimoboy	Wall of Paper 6 Defender Thing Action+Thing: destroy Wall of Paper. Any player may use this ability. So I said to myself, self, it looks like that thing could survive a Nuclear Apocalypse. Then I looked closer. Card : eskimoboy	Electric Barbed Wire Pit Trap With Poison Spikes 2 Defender Thing Whenever this card takes any amount of damage, you may have this card deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. EBWPTWPS has a nice ring to it. Card : eskimoboy
Cannon 1 Defender Thing Action: deal 1 damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. A pirate's card for me. Card : eskimoboy	Piece of Glass 1 Defender Thing Card : eskimoboy	Behold The God Who Is Not Action Deal 1 damage to all Defender Things and unprotected players. If he's a "god" who isn't, then why do we fear his wra- *struck by falling objects* Card : eskimoboy
Corpse Recycler Action Take a Defender Thing with HP 3 or less out of the discard pile and into play under your control. We recycle! Card : eskimoboy	The Watchtower Is Watching Thing When anyone (even you! D:) plays a Defender Thing, flip a coin. On heads, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage. Card : eskimoboy	Meme 1 Defender Thing While Meme is in play, all Defender Things are counted as having 1 HP. imma firin' mah NINE THOUSAANND! Card : eskimoboy

Asylum 1 Defender Thing Play on a Thing or Defender Thing. Treat that Thing's text as blank. Card : eskimoboy	Mystery Bob's Mystery Lair Thing Action: regenerate 1 point of health on a Defender Thing you control, up to its original maximum. That Defender Thing cannot protect you this turn. ...of mystery. Card : eskimoboy	Water Is Splashy Action Choose one: Deal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player. OR Deal 1 damage to two separate Defender Things or unprotected players. Card : eskimoboy
Suddenly Mercenaries Action Note the number of Things each player controls. Shuffle all Things in play together, and return a number of Things to each player equal to the number of Things that they started with. ...sounds better that Quickly Traitors. Card : eskimoboy	Unreliable Bodyguard 2 Defender Thing Whenever Unreliable Bodyguard would be dealt damage, flip a coin. On heads, you take 1 damage and Unreliable Bodyguard remains unharmed. On tails, Unreliable Bodyguard takes damage as normal. For the last time, BAGELS ARE NO REASON TO ABANDON THE PRESIDENT! Card : eskimoboy	Pack of Zombies X Defender Thing This card comes into play with 3 zombie tokens on it. This card's HP is the number of zombie tokens on it. Action: move a zombie token onto a Thing. You control Things with zombie tokens on them. When this card leaves play, destroy all zombie tokens and return all taken Things to their owners. Card : eskimoboy
Shoot It Action Deal 2 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player. Card : eskimoboy	5-Foot Thick Depleted Uranium Walls 3 Defender Thing Well, it looks very sturdy, but how do you breathe in there? Are there air holes or something? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose if you had to keep opening the door to get air? And what do you do about the radiation? Shut up. Card : eskimoboy	We Need More Bombs Action Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player, then flip a coin. On heads, do 1 more damage to a Defender thing or unprotected player. Repeat this process until tails comes up. Card : eskimoboy

The Carpet Has Betrayed Us Action Do 1 damage to a Defender Thing or unprotected player. Card : eskimoboy	Low Self Esteem Action Reduce the HP of target Defender Thing to 1. It won't kill 'em, but it helps. Card : eskimoboy	Invis-o-Bill Action Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. Card : eskimoboy
Super Sniper Rifle Action Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. It shoots super bullets at super long range with super accuracy for super effectiveness against infantry, unless the rifle is fulfilling a super anti-materiel role, in which case it disables the target with super efficiency. Card : eskimoboy	Untrained Defensive Troops 2 Defender Thing If Untrained Defensive Troops is dealt damage but not destroyed, return it to your hand. They're shootin' at us! RUN! Card : eskimoboy	Swiss Bank 4 Defender Thing You may place one card face down under Swiss Bank. Action+Discard a card: Put the face down card under Swiss Bank into play under your control. If Swiss Bank is destroyed, the opponent may put the face down card under it into their hand. Card : eskimoboy
...With Necromancy Action! Action Return a Thing from the discard pile to play under your control. If it is a Defender Thing, it has 1 HP Card : eskimoboy	The Only Duplicates 1 Defender Thing If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one. I'm feeling uncreative. Card : eskimoboy	The Only Duplicates 1 Defender Thing If this card is in play when The Only Duplicates comes into play, put a health counter on each one. I'm feeling uncreative. Card : eskimoboy

Nobody Has To Die Today Action If no one controls any Defender Things, you win the game. Card : eskimoboy	The Antithesis To Coherent Thought 1 Defender Thing If The Antithesis To Coherent Thought is destroyed, you must discard a card at random, take 1 damage, and destroy a Thing you control. Action: put an insane counter on this card. if there are 3 insane counters on this card, you win. So insane it just might work. Card : eskimoboy	Really Great Medic Action Your HP becomes 3. Play only if you have 1 HP or control no Defender Things. Next time, you might not be so lucky. (well, for sure you won't, because there's only one Really Great Medic and no way to retrieve Action cards. So you won't be so lucky next time.) Card : eskimoboy
Slow-Acting Poison Thing Play Slow-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of each of that Defender Thing's controller's turns, the Defender Thing takes 1 damage. The slow but sure version of Fast-Acting Poison. Card : eskimoboy	Fast-Acting Poison Thing Play Fast-Acting Poison onto a Defender Thing. At the end of the Defender Thing's controller's turn, the Defender Thing takes 3 damage and Fast-Acting poison is destroyed. The fast version of Slow-Acting Poison. Card : eskimoboy	A Messy Death Action Destroy a Thing, but not a Defender Thing. ew. Card : eskimoboy
Hand Grenade Tennis Action Deal 1 damage to a player, even if they control a Defender Thing. The target may discard a card to take control of Hand Grenade Tennis and choose a new target to take damage. (Who also gets a chance to discard a card, continuing the sequence.) Card : eskimoboy	Minefield Action Deal 3 damage to a Defender Thing. Card : eskimoboy	Underestimate The Opposition Action Play only if you have less Things in play than your opponent(s). Target player destroys a Defender Thing they control or takes 1 damage. Oh. So there are ten THOUSAND of them. Card : eskimoboy

look how existing i am Action Regain any health lost in the previous turn. you sure are. Card : eskimoboy

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