Dvorak Export: Government Warehouse deck


Instructions

Adjust these settings until the cards fit comfortably, with the correct number per page, in your browser's Print Preview.

When you're happy with the settings, send all but the first page to your printer, and cut the cards out with something sharp. Either stick the results onto cardboard, slip them into deck-protectors with some spare CCG cards for padding, or just play with them as flimsy bits of paper.

Deck-Print Settings

Card Height :cm Title Box Height :cm
Card Width :cm Text Box, Min. Height :cm
Cards per Page :x Text Size :

Cookies
Thing
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
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Anonymous Seed
Thing
Not sure what it grows.
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Mace 'N Chain
Thing
Don't know why this is in the warehouse.
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Force Field Generator
Thing
Generates a force field.
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Security Uniform
Thing
Disguise yourself.
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Mind Bender
Thing
More like a reality bender.
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Apple of Knowledge
Thing
Consumption grants infinite wisdom.
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Caveman
Thing
Frozen in a block of ice.
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Yeti
Thing
Stuffed in "lifelike" pose.
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The Ice Gun
Thing
Fires bullets made of ice. Killed JFK.
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Degree in Anythingology
Thing
Degree in anything but not everything. Comes with one of those hats.
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The Holy Grail
Thing
Drink from it to become immortal. Does not come with a beverage.
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Martian Corpse
Thing
Very dead.
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DeLorean
Thing
Time-traveling car.
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Phone Booth
Thing
Time-traveling phone booth.
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Pandora's Box
Thing
Mythology people know that the only thing left in here is raw despair.
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Jimmy Hoffa
Thing
Dead body preserved in cryo-pod.
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Insta-Cure
Thing
Rule: Upon consumption, you are immune to the effects of disease for the rest of the game. Cures any disease. Effects last for 24 hours.
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The Levitator
Thing
Self-explanatory.
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Shuriken
Thing
Y'know, ninja stars.
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H-Bomb Penny
Thing
Sound-activated, just flip it and shout "Boom!"
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Andromeda Strain
Thing
Rule: Release of this disease kills everyone not immune to disease, or alive but not breathing. Trapped in bottle. Kills within minutes by blood clotting. Airborne.
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Freddy's Glove
Thing
In addition to murder weapon, it makes a lovely culinary utensil.
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Whip
Thing
Whips things, like Indianapolis Jones.
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Titanium Elastic
Thing
Stretches to lengths just beyond reasonable, plus it's made of titanium!
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IMPOSSIBLE THINGS
Thing
An Escher cube and a Penrose triangle.
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Guitar Hero Guitar
Thing
Playing the guitar will cause the entire song to play.
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One Man Alien Craft
Thing
Relation to Martian Corpse unknown.
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Bottomless Can of Gasoline
Thing
The oil crisis really is fake!
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Meteorite
Thing
Radioactive. I don't know how. Just go with it.
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AIDS V2.38
Thing
Rule: Release of this disease kills everyone who is not immune to disease, or alive and not breathing. Airborne. Mix of HIV, influenza, and e.coli (Wait, would that even work?). 24 hours to death.
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Suitcase Nuke
Thing
A nuke and trigger hidden in a suitcase.
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Necrophone
Thing
Made by Edison. Enables one to speak with the dead.
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Live Dinosaur
Thing
Last survivor of Jurassic Park.
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Kenny McCormick
Thing
Rule: All attacks are now directed at Kenny, or things next to him. Also, he's indestructable. Please avoid standing next to him.
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Hookshot
Thing
Gauntlet mixed with a grappling hook.
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Cure for Cancer
Thing
Liquid or tablet form. Disguised as rat poison.
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Real Stonehenge
Thing
Resembles a firing range made of rock.
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Heart of Gold
Thing
Equipped with Infinite Improbability Drive, and one annoying computer.
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Duct Tape
Thing
Just in case.
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Blackbeard's Shovel
Thing
Used to bury treasure.
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Oddjob's Hat
Thing
With steel rim.
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T-Virus Syringe
Thing
Causes super-strength, enlarged body size, and mild ZOMBIFICATION!
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Super Bar
Thing
Satisfies hunger and thirst for a week. Tastes like anti-chicken. Note: If the deck runs out of cards, and you at some point during the game ate the Super Bar or have it, then you win.
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Dr. Coca-Pepsi
Thing
Never loses its fizz.
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Shield
Thing
Indestructible. Property of Captain America.
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Hitler's Brain-in-a-Jar
Thing
Don't break glass.
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Mach Rider's Motorcycle
Thing
Machine guns attached to handlebars.
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Weapon Locker
Thing
Contains arsenal of conventional weapons.
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Bomb Gun
Thing
Emits a laser sight. Firing makes the targeted object implode.
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Robot Arm
Thing
Remains of T-800.
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Empty Box
Thing
This box intentionally left blank.
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Starbucks
Thing
They're everywhere!
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Lightsaber
Thing
A pink lightsaber.
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Mystery Egg
Thing
Hatches into something.
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Thor's Hammer
Thing
Has electromagnetic properties. Also electric properties.
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Radiation Beam
Thing
Fires concentrated radiation. The kind that gives superpowers and cancer, not the kind that kills on the spot.
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The Killer Joke
Thing
In English and German. Death by laughter will occur five minutes after reading.
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Scarabs
Thing
Hungry. Have a penchant for flesh eating.
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Space-Time Continuum Eraser
Thing
Completely erases things from space and time.
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Diet Pills
Thing
On consumption, you will reach your ideal body weight for your height within two weeks, regardless of what your eat.
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Grab Bag
Thing
Contains any item, but the item is stolen.
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The Monkey's Paw
Thing
Corrupts your wishes in the worst way possible.
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Lighter + Aerosol
Thing
Improv flamethrower.
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Invisibility Cloak
Thing
Size XXXXL
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Holy Hand Grenade
Thing
Count to three and throw.
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Dark Bulb
Thing
Reduces the light in a room.
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Bag of Holding
Thing
Holds infinite items.
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Ark of the Covenant
Thing
Contents may cause electrocution.
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Proton Pack
Thing
The gravity gun for Ghostbusters, for those with trouble remembering names.
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Perpetual Motion Machine
Thing
It's turned off.
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Neuralizer
Thing
Erases memories, including the memories of having superpowers.
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Key to the Door
Thing
If you have four other objects, then escape the warehouse and show the world what the government is hiding. The objects don't count if they are too mundane to make a difference to the world.
www.dvorakgame.co.uk

Back to the Government Warehouse deck