To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
(You can also get an output formatted for the Dvorax Engine.)
cleardeckskipcard Friends in Low Places (1)/T/If any player has four or more characters in play, he or she wins the game. ("==Mission Accomplished==")skipcard Grand Commie Undersea Gala (2)/T/If any player has three or more foods in play, that player wins the game. (""Then you must escape before dessert of the Grand Commie Undersea Gala (GCUG), when the whole base will blow." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Idiot-Proof Allocation of Resources (3)/T/If any player has 10 or more cards in his or her hand, that player wins the game. ("I would actually be impressed if you could screw up this mission with this great of a set-up.")skipcard Rock Me, Amadeus! (2)/T/If any player has both Amadeus and between 10 and 15 sanity points, that player wins the game. (""Whenever I question Amadeus as to how he knows attacks so out of his element, he uses Splash on me. ...It's not very effective..." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Seacrest Unit (1)/T/If any player has Agent Squirrelnuts, Amadeus, and Frank in play, that player wins the game. ("Part of this complete breakfast.")skipcard Senseless, Yet Necessary Violence (2)/T/If any player has both Burly Men in play and between 1 and 5 sanity points, that player wins the game. (""Hoping for reinforcements, in the mean time Amadeus is reinforcing the SAMHRBAG with embankments and Gatling gun emplacements. Over and out." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Super Happy Fun Breakdance Showdownuuu!!! (3)/T/If any player has both Agent Johnny and King Pipalopsikopolous in play as well as between 1 and 10 sanity points, that player wins the game. (""Fishy, Squirrelnuts is sitting this one out. AKA I'm Squirrelnuts, and I don't want to deal with piranhas. They smell bad. You're the fisherman, you deal with fish." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Total Recoupment of Mental Faculties (4)/T/If any player has 40 or more sanity points, that player wins the game. (""And knowing is half the battle!" - Agent Bamini / G. I. Joe")skipcard Agent Bamini (5)/T/Play an additional card during your turn. (""Bamini, good work with the mugging. Sounds pretty brutal and efficient." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Agent Cheezy (3)/T/Action: Discard a food item in play. (""We're going to drop you from a helicopter onto the top of the mountain because DEATh here has been eating too many pork rinds. He's too fat to move, and we'll have to air-lift him out of bed." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Agent Fluffy (4)/T/If Burly Men are not in play, draw an additional card at the start of your turn. (""As for Fluffy, we can only hope that he's still getting these transmissions. No news is good news. Unless he's been mansexed to death. In that case, it's pretty safe to call it 'bad news'." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Agent Johnny (2)/T/Pay four sanity: Destroy a goal or location. (""There seems to be a mass influx of piranhas into my underwater tasty demolitions base. I may need some backup from Agent Squirrelnuts. ...But be warned Mr. Nuts, these piranhas are sporting aviators, ray guns, and a large supply of "yo momma" jokes." - Agent Johnny")skipcard Agent Noodles (5)/T/Action: Switch hands with any other player. (""Aye, Cap'n Crunch! Noodles here, ready to stalk some chefs! I'll report back as soon as I learn the real identities of the Commie chefs. As everyone knows, all chefs have 'kitchen-names', much like rock stars have their 'stage names'." - Agent Noodles")skipcard Agent Squirrelnuts (3)/T/Gain an additional sanity at the beginning of your turn. (""Agent Squirrelnuts (...seriously?) reporting, Sarge." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Amadeus (7)/T/Flamethrower: Any player of your choice discards a card at random from his or her hand. Psychic: Any player of your choice takes one fewer action on his or her next turn. Splash: This attack does nothing.skipcard Burly Men (2)/T/Pay three sanity: Destroy an item. (""Don't leave me with all these burly men!" - Agent Fluffy")skipcard Composermon (1)/T/Pay three sanity: draw a card. (""As for the Pokemon idea, I've narrowed it down to "Machopin", "Kadabrahms", or "Vivaldisaur". Then again, there's always the write-in candidate of "Kangaskhandel". I will decide eventually." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Frank (5)/T/If you don't like a card you draw at the start of your turn, you may shuffle it into the deck and draw another one. You may only do this once per turn. (""I've spent these past weeks camping in a cave just below the summit of the volcano, where I made a sleeping bag out of my rogue llama. His name is Frank." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard King Pipalopsikopolous (3)/T/Carnivorous Devouring: Discard two cards from your hand to make an opponent discard a card in play that he or she controls. (""I have discovered the piranhas are being led by their king, King Pipalopsikopolous. I challenged him to an epic break-dancing showdown in which I achieved victory through several moves that I learned at the agency." - Agent Johnny")skipcard Nelson Burton (4)/T/Agent Cheezy, Agent Squirrelnuts, Agent Fluffy, and Agent Bamini cannot be played while Nelson Burton is in play. (""Hello, agents. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to infiltrate the bowling pro shop on the top of the recently-active Mt. Saint Helens, meet up with one of our undercover agents who is disguised as Nelson Burton, and get the box which he is carrying." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Ostrich (2)/T/Pay four sanity: neglect all effects of a certain card for the remainder of the turn. (""Okay, I scheduled a discount flight on the back of an ostrich, which I am now learning is, in fact, a flightless bird. However, I shall remain ever-vigilant! Also of note: my pilot seems to be hung over and homeless. More on that later." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Random Zombie Dogs (2)/T/Discard three cards from your hand: Any player loses his or her next turn. (""Anyway, I think that-- what was that? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" - Agent Bamini")skipcard Sherpa (3)/T/Action: Gain one sanity. (""Halfway up the volcano, my sherpa was struck by Gollum, who bit off his ring finger. The attack was fatal." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Fountain of Sanity (4)/T/Gain an additional sanity at the beginning of your turn. (""And Nuts? ...Fluffy is in a coma. I'm sorry. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you that." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Gluttony (3)/T/Whenever a player discards a card from his or her hand (i.e., not once it has been used or destroyed), you may draw a card. (""It seems that the 'zombie dogs' doing the severe mauling number on me were actually just Cheezy. He thought I was a ham." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Grape Nuts (0)/T/They're mod'rately delicious. (""HEY, FATTIES! DO YOU COPY? ...No sign of 'em." - Agent Bamini")skipcard The Little Black Book of Ostrich Pilotry (0)/T/If you control the Ostrich, its ability costs 1 fewer sanity to use. (""The mugging? Oh, it was splendiferous! As for the sleeping bags, I'm just doing what the Little Black Book of Ostrich Pilotry suggested. I may have neglected to mention that." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Low Expectations (0)/T/While Low Expectations is in play, no player may have more than four cards in his or her hand. Each player must discard any extra cards he or she might have. (""This mission is of utmost importance, so I'm expecting the very best agents to volunteer. Unfortunately, that probably won't happen, so I'm even allowing Fluffy in on it." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Pointless Interjections (2)/T/The first card that any player plays on his or her turn is chosen at random by the player on his or her left. (""BUT WHAT HO!?" - Agent Bamini")skipcard Prepositions (1)/T/Turn the deck upside down so that each player can see the next card to be drawn. Keep the deck face-up until Prepositions leaves play. (""Refer to Post #1 by the Sarge, hereafter referred to as Agent Bamini, for the basics of the operations of our group of users of lots of prepositions." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Required Reading (2)/T/Pay three sanity and discard a card: Take a card from another player's hand and play it. This ability and its effects count as a single action. (""Now then, I have begun production of the demolitions but I have run into complications yet again. We seem to be out of cookbooks. All I could find was the Kama Sutra and Squirrelnuts' diary, the latter of which I am reading with renewed vigor." - Agent Johnny")skipcard Seventeen Pie Bombs (3)/T/Pay eight sanity: Any one player must discard his or her entire hand. (""Frank tracked the key to a hidden room, where we found some pie-bombs." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Stable Mental State (3)/T/While Stable Mental State is in play, you may not lose sanity as a result of any card other than if you paid for it. ("The least plausible part of the entire game.")skipcard Strange Llama Powers (3)/T/If you control Frank, you may look at any player's hand at any time as long as Strange Llama Powers is in play. (""While Fluffy might not have been capable of getting them under control, Frank has powerful methods of persuasion." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Time-Out (4)/T/Cheezy's abilities cannot be used until Time-Out is destroyed. (""Cheezy is currently being held in 'Time-Out'. He will be joining us when his lifetime sentence is completed." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Uber Stone (2)/T/Action: Discard a card from your hand in order to draw a card. (""Located fifteen uber stones. Could not, however, manage a single umlaut, so we threw the stones at babies." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Ugly (but Edible) Sweater (0)/T/This card does nothing besides take up space in the deck. (""Squirrelnuts, you'd best begin your journey up the mountain. And it gets cold up there. Bring an ugly sweater that you don't mind having burned off of your body." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Wikipedia (3)/T/Draw an extra card at the beginning of your turn. (""To Wikipedia!" - Agent Bamini")skipcard Working With Idiots (5)/T/At the start of your turn, you lose 3 sanity. At the end of your turn, give this card to the player to your right. (""Excellent! Kudos to the single surviving agent!" - Agent Bamini")skipcard Bowling Pro Shop (2)/T/At the beginning of your turn, gain 1 additional sanity. ("Your journey is so close to completion, you can almost smell it. It's either that or the nachos they're making.")skipcard Gas Station Men's Room (1)/T/While this location is in play, no players may win the game. (""All right, agents. Agent DEATh, you wait with Agent Squirrelnuts in this gas station men's room while Agent Fluffy Puff learns all he can about this operation." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Library of Congress (0)/T/If it is your turn, you may pay 2 sanity to look at any other player's hand. This may only be done once per turn. (""Here's your briefing. Bamini, you're going to head to the Library of Congress and find every last cookbook you can find." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Mount Saint Helens (1)/T/If you control the Sherpa, its effects produce one additional sanity. (""...Hold on, I'm just receiving confirmation that the bowling pro shop is, in fact, located INSIDE the SAMHRBAG. You follow the main hall and take the first two lefts. If you hit the unisex bathroom, you've gone too far." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Secret Agent Mountainside Hotel Resort Bar and Grill (1)/T/If you draw a food item at the start of your turn and reveal it to the other players, you may play an extra card this turn. (""Whatever the case, agents, find the Secret Agent Mountainside Hotel Resort Bar and Grill (SAMHRBAG for short)." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Submerged Communist Headquarters (2)/T/All red (character) cards cost 1 fewer sanity to play. (""Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take 17 pie-bombs, which some guy in IT told me shouldn't blow up until you want them to, infiltrate an underwater Commie base in the Mariana trench while posing as gourmet chefs, and slip the pies into their kitchen." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Unisex Bathroom (3)/T/Frank and Agent Squirrelnuts cannot be destroyed while Unisex Bathroom is in play. (""We had an original mission? Oh. So thaaat's what that place was next to the unisex bathroom... it's the only bathroom we felt safe taking Frank." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Adding Abrupt Conversation Change to Insult to Injury (1)/A/Reverse the turn order. (""Throw down with a rap diss-off, and make them go whining back to their mothers, who you will have boned. In the meantime, how are the pies?" - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Arbitrarily Improvised Helicopter (2)/A/If you have a character card in front of you, you may exchange it for any other character card in play. (""Alright agents, I will contact you once the helicopter has arrived. [An hour later] I am just contacting you to say that the helicopter has arrived." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Autological Foreshadowing (3)/A/Look at the top 4 cards of the deck. Choose one to put into your hand and place the rest back on top of the deck in any order. (""Further comments on the wreckage.. No Sasquatch, but something about the entire situation seems distinctly... cheezy..." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Brief References to Straightjackets (2)/A/Any player loses 4 sanity. (""You there, Fluffy? You're in no physical condition to climb a mountain; I suggest that you... practice your straightjacket escape. That might come in handy." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Cerebral Siphon (0)/A/When you play this, discard any number of cards from your hand. Each opponent loses that much sanity. You gain sanity equal to the total amount that all opponents lost. ("Brain fart in action: "Why don't I get to stalkkkkkk... awwwww maaaannnnn!!!!1!seven" - Agent Bamini")skipcard Epic Loots (4)/A/Reveal cards from the deck until you have revealed up to two item cards. Put those into your hand and shuffle the other cards back into the deck. (""I wanted to simply persuade him out of all of his possessions, but Amadeus had other plans. A strange mix of Flamethrower, Psychic, and Splash annihilated everything except his pockets, which we then searched for epic loots." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Facetious as Always (3)/A/Choose a player. That player must discard his or her hand and draw a new hand of five cards. (""You might have to undercook the meat a tad bit so it can pass as a Commie Patty. Y'know, red and stuff." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Finders Keepers (5)/A/Draw three cards. (""I suppose you can keep everything from the pockets (that's typically the only way we can actually pay our agents)..." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Friendship (5)/A/Search the deck for a character card and put it into your hand. (""Do you hear that?" "No." "That's right. It's the sound of me caring." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Fondling Bears (4)/A/Any player loses his or her next turn. (""And Cheezy is probably off in the wilderness fondling bears." - Agent Bamini")skipcard The Game (0)/A/All players lose the Game (not to be confused with the current game). If a player is uneducated in the ways of the game, someone must fill him or her in on it. ("You just lost the game.")skipcard Harsh Punishment (4)/A/One opponent must either discard three cards from his or her hand or lose 6 sanity. (""And if Nutface misspells "necessities" again, you have my permission to kill him." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Hhhhwhat? (2)/A/Destroy any card in play. (""I will proceed with the production of the pie-bombs using the nonexistent knowledge I have of them." - Agent Johnny")skipcard Injection of Capriciousness (1)/A/Make note of the number of cards in each player's hand. Shuffle all the hands together, and deal out the number of cards noted to each respective player. (""Requesting backup in the form of Fluffy and his burly manfriends, so that we can begin organizing a search of the mountain and Cheezy's last know location for clues. Tell them to bring Scooby, and maybe a burly man can dress up as Daphne." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Lateral Thinking (0)/A/Gain four sanity. (""However, I commandeered a rogue llama, and fashioned a saddle out of the ugly sweater I brought." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Logical Asceticism (1)/A/Shuffle the discard pile into the deck. (""Amadeus and I have actually taken note that Frank refuses the comfort of beds in our suite, preferring the floor." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Mission Briefing (1)/A/Each player draws a card. (""I (or someone else designated by me) will give you, the agents, a new mission. You must accomplish that mission objective in the most dramatic and cliched way possible. Sounds fun." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Psycho-Death Mind Beam (X)/A/X can be any number as long as you have enough sanity to pay for it. Any player loses X sanity. ("All your brain are belong to us.")skipcard Pure Eeeeevil (5)/A/Destroy any four cards in play. (""I think it's the rogue llama in his blood. That or those haunting eyes... He sees right into the souls of men." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Revealing Secret Identities (2)/A/Discard one character in play. (""They... know... I'm Fluffy!" - Agent Fluffy")skipcard Savance (4)/A/You gain three sanity. Each opponent loses three sanity. ("At least someone's smart enough to not die a horrible death.")skipcard Shameless Plug (1)/A/Take a card at random from an opponent's hand and play it. Shameless Plug and its respective results are only counted as one action. (""I read that somewhere esteemed. Like a cult." - Agent Bamini")skipcard Some Minor Setbacks (3)/A/All other players either discard 2 cards from their hands or lose 3 sanity. (""However, he is bipolar and has amnesia." - Agent Bamini")skipcard That's Why They Made Facebook (1)/A/Look at any player's hand. (""Agent Noodles, your task will involve the infiltration. Discover the identities of the gourmet chefs being brought on board, and then stalk them." - Agent Squirrelnuts")skipcard Unexpected and Puerile Vulgarity (4)/A/Each other player discards one card, either from his or her hand or from play. (""Anyway, you should continue up the mountain until you see the glass dome that kinda looks like... well, I guess it kinda looks like a butt. ...Haha!" - Agent Bamini")skipcard Where the Hell Are We? (1)/A/Destroy the current location. (""That's a very unfortunate predicament into which you've gotten yourself. Oh, no, wait, I thought you were Cheezy. Maybe it's just the location, but it seems we've lost all contact with him." - Agent Bamini")@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Furthering the Core Mission deck into the Dvorak Engine.