Dvorak Export: College Life deck


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Director of Residence Life
Person-Administrator
When Director of Residence Life (DRL) comes into play send Residence Hall Director to the discard pile and draw one other administrator.

"Aaaaahhhhhhh, Panera!" - DRL
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
Young Conservative
Person-Student


Might as well be a square in life as early as you can...
Card : P. Conner, S. Sills
Dr. Anthro
Person-Faculty
When Dr. Anthro comes int\o play, automatically draw three cards. Player may not draw again normally until the number of cards in players hand returns to five.

"You probably shouldn't eat spaghetti before this class..." - Dr. Anthro
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
Militant Feminist
Person-Student
When Militant Feminist comes into play tap one target student.

"Men are useless sperm missiles." - Militant Feminist
Card : P. Conner
Graduate Student
Person-Student
When Graduate Student comes under academic probation, academic probation term is double in length.

"Where the hell is my King of Sweden mug?!" - Ben Hardisty
Card : P. Conner, B. Hardisty, J. Courterier
Football Player
Person-Student
Football player counts as an athlete. Football player may not be a student leader. When Football player is played tap for one round.

"Nothin' like having the QB's hand on your hoo-has." - Michael Sefcik
Card : J. Courterier
Cheerleader
Person-Student
Cheerleader counts as an athlete. Cheerleader may not be played as a student leader. Cheerleader is immune to STD's.

"I need to stop sleeping with my T.A." - The Cheerleader
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Athletic Coordinator
Person-Administrator
When Athletic Coordinator enters play all athletes currently on Academic Probation or under Judicial Sanction are restored to good standing.

"Of course he can't compute his own GPA... he plays football!" - Conversation between Athletic Coordinator and a professor.
Card : J. Courterier
Director of Academic Computing
Person-Administrator
When card enters play send one technological object controlled by another player to the discard pile.

"What? Port 23 is open? The Illuminati might attack!" - The Director
"Fnord!" - Chaote Hacker
Card : J. Courterier
The Science Nerd
Person-Student
Can be played as senator. When effected with inebriation double the length of the effect period, however The Science Nerd only takes half the dice roll penalty.

"Wrong specific heat, jerk!" - Science Nerd
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
International Exchange Student
Person-Student
International Exchange Student (IES) may not be played as a senator. IES is immune to academic probation.

"If I tried this crap in Iran they would beat me."
Card : P. Conner
The Dirty Hippie
Person-Student
Can play up to two other students when Dirty Hippie is played. May also be played as senator.

"Patchouli is not a substitute for showering!" - Phil Conner
Card : P. Conner
Resident Assistant
Person-Student
Resident Assistant (RA) is a student leader. When RA is played play one other student from hand, student is under automatic judicial sanction.

"I do it for the room!" - Resident Assistant
Card : J. Courterier, P.Conner
Director of Student Life
Person-Administrator
When played, Director of Student Life (DSL) modifies all dice rolls relating to student government by -1.

Dance-techno never sounded so good.
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Dr. PsychSci
Person-Faculty
When played can remove academic probation from target student. May also be played as an administrator, however Dr. PsychSci must abandon faculty status. May be played as a Thesis Advisor.

"Psychology is a science, damn it!" - Dr. PsychSci
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Chemistry Lab TA
Person-Faculty
When played player must place any student on the green on academic probation. May not be played as a thesis advisor.

"Your lab reports are due tomorrow, yes...all 50 pages!" - Chemistry Lab TA
Card : P. Conner
University President
Person-Administration
When University President is played all faculty and staff are tapped for 1d3 rounds.

"Would you like a bottle of Cabernet?" - University President after a formal function
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Vice President of Academic Affairs
Person-Administrator
When played Vice President of Academic Affairs may place one student not in your control on the green into your hand

"I hold your career in academia in the palm of my hand!" - Vice President of Academic Affairs
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Dr. Apathy
Person-Faculty
Must cause inebriation in target student when played.

"As an undergrad I used to shoot bottles off the electron microscope" - Dr. Apathy
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Poli Sci Guy
Person-Student
May be played as a senator. When played may place two cards into discard pile, and draw two more.

"Do you want me to go get "Robert's Rules? I have it in my trunk." - Poli Sci Guy
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
The Blonde
Person-Student
When played automatically becomes SG President for 2d6 rounds. The Blonde is a Student Leader. Cannot use SG President on The Blonde.

"It takes too much thought to think" - Melanie
Card : J. Courterier, M. Shelton, P. Conner
SGA President
Person-Student
When played all Student Leaders are tapped for 1d3 rounds. Afterwords, this card can be tapped to provide protection to one Student Leader. May not be played if The Blonde is SGA President.

"This is not an appropriate use of student fees!" - SGA President
Card : J. Courterier
The Department Head
Person-Administrator/Faculty
May be played as faculty or an administrator. Player may sacrifice administrator to the discard pile as an interrupt at any time to cancel an effect.

"Tenure...Ha! Funny..." - The Department Head
Card : P. Conner
Director of Multicultural Affairs
Person-Administrator
When Director of Multicultural Affairs (DMA) is played, may play any student simultaneously except Cheerleader or Poli Sci Guy.

"Think they give me enough funding? Guess again!" - DMA
Card : P. Conner
Dr. Accounting
Person-Faculty
When Dr. Accounting comes into play tap immediately. On next turn untap Dr. Accounting and play an additional card.

"Ledger paper? Who needs ledger paper when you have a computer!" - Dr. Accounting
Card : P. Conner
Dr. Education
Person-Faculty
When playing Dr. Education, take control of any one faculty member on the green.

"What exactly is the symbolism of the little brown bear in this story? - Dr. Education
Card : P. Conner
The Cell Phone
Thing-Technological Object
Target person can be tapped for 2d6 turns to play two people in a single turn. This effect is reusable.

"You'll get a brain tumor!" - Students mother
Card : P. Conner
Thesis Topic
Thing-Object
May be played on target student. If student is sent to discard pile take thesis topic into hand.

"Bullshit that you think is important but really isn't"
Card : P. Conner
Free Condom
Thing-Object
Target person is now immune to all sexually transmitted diseases.

"Now I will show you how to put it on with a banana" - Student Health Practitioner
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
Football Helmet
Thing-Object
Target athlete is immune to Judicial Sanction.

"I swear, every time I get hit I feel my brain slosh around in my skull." - Michael Sefcik
Card : P. Conner
Acoustic Guitar
Thing-Object
May be played on any student or faculty member. When played on a student guitar may be used as a student activity. When played on a student, student gains student leader status.

"Because alternative covers are better than air guitar...sometimes"
Card : P. Conner
Free T-Shirt
Thing-Object
Target student receives student leader status. If target student is tapped untap immediately. Student cannot be sent to discard pile. If a discard effect is played on student with Free T-Shirt caster takes both Student and Free T-Shirt back into hand.

"Because pimpin' aint easy."
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
The Alluring Freshman
Thing-Relationship
Tap any two students you control on the green. Roll 1d6 to determine the length of the relationship. Caster receives +1 to all rolls for duration of relationship. The Alluring Freshman counts as an additional student.

"She was a punk who never took advice..."
Card : J. Courterier
Forbidden Love
Thing-Relationship
Tap one student and one administrator/faculty member. Pair forms relationship for 1d6 rounds. Caster receives +3 to all rolls for duration of relationship. Counts as either an additional student OR an additional administrator. If Scandal or Higher Education come into play, player skips one turn.

"My Lab TA is sooo hottt!!!1"- Student Text Message
Card : J. Courterier
MP3 Player
Thing- Technological Object
Allows caster to search the discard pile for any student card.

"Hanson? You still listen to HANSON?"
Card : J. Courterier
Laptop
Thing- Technological Object
When played on target student discard two cards from hand and draw two cards from library.

"The internet is not like a truck..."
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
Hi Fi Stereo
Thing-Technological Object
Play stereo on any student. If student is to be sent to discard pile, discard normally, however place one student from the discard pile into your hand.

"I love this song! Turn it up!"
Card : P. Conner
Alarm Clock
Thing-Object
Play on target student. Any effect duration is halved as long as student remains in possession of Alarm Clock.

"At least I don't wake up to the same day and "I've Got You Babe" - Phil Conner
Card : P. Conner
Television
Thing-Technological Object
May be used as a program, however target student is immediately tapped for three rounds

"I learned everything I know from C-SPAN" - Poli Sci Guy
Card : P. Conner
Summer Lovin'
Thing-Relationship
Target two students. Students are in a relationship until effect is canceled.

"Had me a blast..."
Card : P. Conner
Backpack
Thing-Object
When Backpack is in play expand you hand to six cards. Play one card per turn normally. O

"You should see my new messenger bag!" - The Science Nerd
Card : P. Conner
Apathy
Effect-Permanent
Play on any target person. Target person's game text is unusable, and person may not be used as a requirement for victory conditions.

"This is my United States of Whateva..."
Card : T. DeHart
Financial Aid Drone
Effect-Permanent


"I would spit on that peasant scum" B. Hardisty
Card : T. DeHart
Research Assistant
Effect-Permanent
Target student becomes Research assistant for controlling player. Controlling player must have had Thesis Topic on the quad for one round prior to playing this card.

"$10 and a free beer? Count me in!"
Card : J. Courterier
Research Subject
Effect-Permanent
Target student becomes the focus of controlling players research. Controlling player must have had Thesis Topic on the quad for one round prior to playing this card.

"Well... I could use the extra credit. I hope this doesn't hurt."
Card : J. Courterier
The All Nighter
Effect-Instant
If target student is currently on Academic Probation, remove student from Academic Probation. If target student is in good standing, student is now immune to Academic Probation.

"Four liters of Mountain Dew and half a carton of cigarettes later my paper is done!" - Phil Conner
Card : P. Conner
Audit Class
Effect-Instant
May destroy any one target effect. Discard both effects to the discard pile. Does not effect game text.

"Credit? Who needs credit?"
Card : P. Conner
Thesis Advisor
Effect-Permanent
Play on any eligible faculty. Faculty member is immune to any effects for 1d3 rounds. If at any time an effect is played to remove targeted faculty member to discard pile, take faculty member into hand and Thesis Advisor is discarded.

"Well that's not the worst idea I have ever seen..." - Thesis Advisor
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
Black Valentines Day
Effect-Permanent
Black Valentines Day (BVD) may be played as an event. When BVD is brought into play, send one target student in a relationship to discard pile along with the relationship card.

"Black Roses...How sweet?"
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
Cold Ones
Effect-Instant
Target any person on the green. Target person suffers a -2 penalty to all dice rolls for 1d6 rounds.

"Life is always beautiful through beer goggles"
Card : P. Conner
Thesis Advisor
Effect-Permanent
Play on any faculty memeber. Target faculty member is immune to discard effects and Thesis Advisor may not be destroyed.

"Wrong, do it again!"
Card : P. Conner
'A' for Effort
Effect-Permanent
Target student may not be subject to academic probation.

"Sometimes trying is just as good as final grades."
Card : P. Conner
Open Mic Night
Effect-Permanent
Play on any student as student event. Required for Activities Board victory.

"Testing 1,2,3...is anyone out there? Anyone?" - Phil Conner, Undergraduate Student
Card : J. Courterier
Herpes
Effect-Instant
When card comes into play roll 1d3. 1d3 students have herpes permanently. If there are more than three players, each player rolls 1d6. The three players with the lowest scores receive herpes. May be cured by University Health Clinic.

"Mommy has it in a special place..." - One student to another
Card : R. Phillips
Student Leadership
Effect-Permanent
When played on student, target student is tapped for two rounds. Student cannot be sent to discard pile.

"Hell on Earth without compensation." - Student Leader
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
The Ex
Effect-Instant
Breakup formed target relationship. Discard both people.

"Yeah, they left you for your professor..."
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Higher Education "Three Year Itch"
Effect-Instant
Target player must loose one administrator from the green to discard pile. Target player gets their choice.

"I was getting tired of this place anyway!" - Former Director of Student Life
Card : P. Conner
University Health Clinic
Effect-Instant
Cure any ailment including inebriation. Discard University Health Clinic.

"Well it will just have to come off!" - M.D.
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Technological Dependency
Effect-Permanent
Play onto any person. Target person suffers -2 penalty to all dice rolls when lacking a technological object.

"Three days without the internet? I would die!" - One student to another
Card : P. Conner
Judicial Sanction
Effect-Instant
Play on target student and roll 1d6. If value of die is three or greater student is tapped for 2 rounds.

"Please, step into my office" - Judicial Officer
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Neisseria gonorrheae
Effect-Permanent
Play 'The Clap' on any target person. Person may not be a member of a relationship and game text is rendered unusable until cured.

"What is it doctor, it burns! - Student
Card : P. Conner
Student Employment
Effect-Permanent
Player may place one administrator out of play (tapped) for 1d6 rounds

"Because doing homework is better than flippin' burgers for minimum wage"
Card : P. Conner
Reverse Psychology
Effect-Instant
Cancel any effect and play canceled effect on any target person.

"Bet you won't do it!"
Card : E. Kent
Online Essay Purchase
Effect-Instant
Player may discard one card to search through discard pile and take one card into hand.

"Why work when I can pass someone else's work as my own?" - Naive freshman
Card : P. Conner
FERPA Abuse
Effect-Instant
Target administrator may not be the target of any effects from other players.

"Yes, they do have your records...all of them."
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Student Tutor
Effect-Permanent
Student is immune to academic probation. All judicial sanctions effect times are cut in half.

"Studying is one thing, doing your homework is another!" - Student Tutor
Card : P. Conner
Spring Break!
Effect-Instant
Send two target students to discard pile. May split amongst players if more than two at table.

"Wooo! Costa Rica!" The Blonde
Card : P. Conner
Activities Board Concert
Interrupt
Place any one student on immediate academic probation. Keep Activities Board Concert on student as an item. May be used as event for Activities Board victory.

"C'mon man...I's a free show!"
Card : P. Conner
Care Package
Interrupt
Untap any tapped student card regardless of condition.

"I would be nice if you called us every once in awhile" - Concerned Parent
Card : P. Conner
Change of Major
Interrupt
Exchange any one student with any other student on the green.

"Well I was a massage therapy major, but old men kept looking at me funny" - The Blonde
Card : P. Conner
Drop/Add Week
Interrupt
Discard your entire hand and draw a new one.

"I am sorry you will need a permit for that course..." - Academic Advisor
Card : P. Conner
Blocked Port
Interrupt
Choose any MP3 player or Laptop on table. Thing is tapped for 1d3 rounds.

"Error connecting on port 23. Operation Timed Out."
Card : P. Conner, J. Courterier
Scandal!
Interrupt
Send any newly played administrator card to the discard pile.

"Like... I totally saw Holly and Dr. PsychSci making out in the faculty lounge!" - The Blonde
Card : J. Courterier
Vote of No Confidence
Interrupt
When played this card removes SGA President from play. May be used to send target SGA President immediately to discard pile.
May remove The Blonde from play only if currently SGA President.

"Was the free housing really worth it?"
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
Abused Sports Team Stripper
Interrupt
Remove target athlete from play.

"Maybe encouraging your client to lie about why she took her clothes off at the party was a bad idea." - Special Prosecutor
Card : J. Courterier
Double Secret Probation
Interrupt
Target any student, and roll 1d6. If outcome of roll is greater than two student is automatically sent to discard pile

"Thats it man! Double Secret Probation!"
Card : P. Conner
The Bust
Interrupt
Place one target student under judicial sanction. Roll 1d6 per turn until a six is rolled. Remove student from judicial sanction.

"It's only a Misdemeanor, stop resisting!" - Officer Mark
Card : P. Conner
Research & Publication
Victory
1) Faculty member is on the quad with the Thesis Advisor effect.
2) Student is on green with the Thesis Topic effect.
3) Two other students on green as "Subjects or Research Assistants"


"The is nothing quite like writing things only 50 people in the world will read" - Phil Conner, Undergraduate Student
Card : P. Conner
Abolish Student Government
Victory
1) Must have University President and Director of Student Life in play.
2) Must have FERPA Abuse card in play on University President or Director of Student Life.
3) Roll 3d6. If roll shows 18 game ends. Any modifiers from effects or things apply to UP and DSL.


"If it wasn't for those snot-nosed kids and their meddling dog" - Vice President of Student Affairs
Card : J. Courter, P. Conner
Viva la Revolution
Victory
1) Must have Student Government President or The Blonde (as specified) in play.
2) Director of Student Life must not be in play.
3) Must have at least two senators in play.
4) SG President must not be tapped during round victory is proclaimed.

"Let it be known that the Revolution will be televised"
Card : J. Courterier
Student Activities Board
Victory
1) Have at least one student on your green.
2) Must play any event card on a student.
3) Roll 3d6. If number shown is less than students in good standing on table, victory is achieved.


"It's b.o.a.r.d. not b.o.r.e.d!" - SAB director
Card : J. Courterier, P. Conner
National Championship
Victory
1) Must have at least two athletes in play.
2) Intramural Sports must be in play.
3) Athletics Coordinator must be in play.

"Does looking in the locker room shower make me gay?" - Football Team Captain
Card : J. Courterier

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