To import this deck into the Dvorak MUSH Engine, just cut and paste the quoted commands below straight into your telnet window. (Any card whose type is neither "Thing" nor "Action" will default to "Thing"; if it was somehow meant to be played like an Action, just destroy it after playing it.)
(You can also get an output formatted for the Dvorax Engine.)
cleardeck
loadcard Nacho Cheese/T/ ("Drizzly...")
loadcard Feta/T/ ("Crumbly!")
loadcard Mozzarella/T/ ("Goes great on pizza!")
loadcard Cream Cheese/T/ ("Philadelphia is in Pennsylvania.")
loadcard Monster Muenster/T/ ("Scarily good.")
loadcard Swiss/T/ ("This cheese has HOLES!")
loadcard Pinball Cheez Whiz/T/ ("He sure plays a mean pinball.")
loadcard Brie/T/ ("A hunk-a creamy cheese for you :)")
loadcard Gouda/T/ ("This is a round cheese.")
loadcard Goat Cheese/T/ ("Baahh!! (editors note: confused goat)")
loadcard Provolone/T/ ("Bland, but aged.")
loadcard Pepperjack/T/ ("Hot stuff ;)")
loadcard Taco Cheese/T/ ("Add more cheese to that taco!")
loadcard Vermont Cheddar/T/ ("Whitey.")
loadcard Cheddar Cheddar/T/<i>Action</i>: Anyone with a non-English Cheddar in play must discard it. ("Real cheese comes from England.")
loadcard Bleu Cheese/T/ ("There is no caption on this cheese.")
loadcard Gorgonzola/T/ ("Crumble-ievable!")
loadcard Moldy Cheese/T/<i>Special</i>: Destroy one cheese you have in play. This card counts as two Thing - Cheese (moldy). ("Can't even tell what kind it is!")
loadcard Mold/T/Play this card on another player's cheese. That cheese does not count towards their victory while this card is in play. May not be played on a moldy cheese. When this card leaves play, whatever cheese it was last attached to counts as a moldy cheese.
loadcard Matzo/T/Only counts towards victory if you control 5 cheeses.
loadcard Crackers/T/ ("Iss hawd to tawk wif my mouf full of cwackuss.")
loadcard Ritz/T/ ("Ritz it up.")
loadcard Saltine/T/When this comes into play, choose one of your cheeses in play. That cheese now counts double.
loadcard Cheese and Crackers/T/Counts as both a food and a cheese. Cannot be targeted by actions which target Thing - Cheese.
loadcard Water/T/
loadcard Fru-fru Expensive Beer/T/You can barely afford this beer: discard one of your cheeses when you play it.
loadcard Riesling/T/Does not count as a food unless you have Brie, Gouda, or Swiss in play.
loadcard Cheesecake/T/Counts as both a food and a cheese. May be targeted by actions which target cheeses.
loadcard Tortilla Chips/T/Does not count towards your food requirement unless you have Nacho Cheese or a melted cheese in play.
loadcard Cheez-Its/T/Counts as both a food and a cheese. May be targeted by actions which target cheeses.
loadcard Ritz-Bits/T/Worth three foods, but only if you also have Ritz in play. Otherwise, counts as zero foods.
loadcard Grapes/T/ ("Mmmm.")
loadcard Macaroni/T/ ("Shells, most likely.")
loadcard Refrigerator/T/Protects your cheeses from the effects of any spoilage.
loadcard Powdered Cheese Mix/T/If you have Water in play, this counts as a cheese.
loadcard Velveeta/T/Counts as a cheese if you have Macaroni in play.
loadcard Lunchbox/T/When this card comes into play, choose one of your cheeses in play. As long as this card remains in play, that cheese is protected from any spoilage.
loadcard Lactose Intolerance/A/Select a player who must discard all in-play cheese. If you have any cheese in play, select one to lose to spoilage.
loadcard Microwave/A/Select one of your cheeses to melt. Melting does not remove it from play.
loadcard Cheese Wiz/A/Choose one of your cheeses in play. This no longer counts as a cheese; instead, it counts as a food.
loadcard Spoiled Cheese/A/Select a victim player. Select one of his/her cheeses; this cheese is lost to spoilage. If that player has a Rodent in their hand, they must also discard it. Cannot target moldy cheese.
loadcard Replicator/A/Make a copy of any food or cheese in play and put it into play under your control.
loadcard Cheese Bandit/A/Take one food or cheese from another player's control and put it into your hand.
loadcard Police/A/May be played immediately, not just on your turn. Still counts as your action for your next turn. When someone plays Cheese Bandit, you may confiscate the evidence. The food or cheese they stole goes into your hand instead.
loadcard Yeast/A/Turn a Matzo you control into Bread, which does not have the 5-cheese restriction.
loadcard Cheese Grater/A/Turn any cheese in play into two identical cheeses. Cannot target melted cheeses.
loadcard Rodent/A/Steal one cheese from another player and put it into play under your control.
loadcard Wine/A/Add a generic food item to your control, but lose your next turn due to hangover.
loadcard Cheese Spreader/A/For each cracker you control, double the cheese value of one cheese you control.
loadcard Partygoer Matt/A/Matt eats a player's cheese. Choose any cheese under anyone's control to discard.
loadcard Partygoer Jeremy/A/One cheese under anyone's control becomes a Coconut instead. This counts as a food.
loadcard Partygoer Katie/A/Katie shows up, gets drunk, and eats half of someone's cheese. Round down--she's small.
loadcard U-Turn/A/Play immediately, not just on your turn. Counts as your action for your current or next turn. Reverse the last action that targeted you or something you control; play it on the original action's controller.
loadcard Reverse Card/A/Play immediately, not just on your turn. Counts as your action for your current or next turn. Reverse the last action that targeted you or something you control; discard it.
loadcard RaNdOm!/A/Each player needs to count how many Things they have in play. Do not count Things which are attached to other Things (like Mold). Instead, remember which Thing they target. Collect all in-play Things from all players, shuffle them, and redistribute them so that each player has the same number they originally had. Finally, determine who got each targeted Thing and reattach the effect Things (so if Player A had Feta with a Mold card, now that Player B has Feta, that Feta is still Mold-y).
loadcard To The Left/A/All players pass all played cards to the player on their left. <i>Editors note: when this card was created, its picture was a huge arrow that pointed to the right. Not sure why.</i>
loadcard Dumpster Diving/A/Root through the discard pile and take any card of your choice into your hand. If it is a Thing, you may play it this turn as your Thing.
loadcard Google/A/Take anyone's played Thing card and place it into play under your control.
loadcard New Rule/A/Starting with you and moving in the opposite direction to how you take turns, each player may add a rule without requiring a vote, or may veto any rule which has been proposed because of this card. When the last player has made or vetoed a rule, you receive one more veto if you desire (even if you already made a rule at the beginning).
@emit [name(%#)] pastes the Cheese! deck into the Dvorak Engine.